DISCLAIMER: If you recognise anything here, I clearly do not own it. Principal ownership resides with J.K. Rowling and Hiromu Arakawa. I assert no ownership to anything except the arrangement of the words used herein into sentences.

If you recognise something that is from somewhere else, please show off how clever you are in a review and point it out. I'll be trying to put at least one little reference in each chapter, as a bonus easter egg of 'culture' (I define 'culture' VERY broadly). Smart readers will be able to go 'hey, that's from...'. And this will make me happy.

If you're reading this after 20160912, then you are reading a revised version.

Chapter 1: Equivalent Exchange and Fine Print

Edward Elric blinked as everything went white. 'Back in Truth's cosy little domain,' he thought to himself. Then he narrowed his eyes and looked at the Grinning Bastard Himself, sitting in front of him.

"I take it you're here to retrieve your brother? Just how do you plan on pulling an entire human out of here? What's your payment? Do you intend to offer your own body?" Truth grinned at him.

Ed snorted "Yeah I've got your payment right here, so go ahead and take it" he gestured at his Gate behind him "This thing is my Portal of Truth, so I get to make the decision on how it's used. Is that right?" he asked the gobsmacked entity.

Truth chuckled "It's come to that?" Another chuckle, as Truth hid His face in His palm "And you're sure about this? You do realise you'll never be able to perform alchemy again without your Portal?" Truth asked, looking Ed straight in the eye.

Ed looked at his Portal "I'm aware of that. This Portal, I know it contains every secret alchemy has to offer. However, it's also led me astray. I saw the truth that lies within it, and I became convinced I could solve everything with alchemy. But I couldn't possibly have been more wrong. That was just arrogance."

Truth gave him a thin smile "You're willing to cast it aside, to lower yourself to a simple human?"

"What do you mean lower myself? That's the only thing I've ever been. I'm just a simple human who couldn't save a little girl, not even with alchemy" Ed replied, still looking at his Portal.

"You're sure you'll be alright without it? Think carefully now."

Ed did think about it. Then he thought about his friends. They weren't his friends because he was an alchemist. They were his friends because of him. "Who even needs alchemy, when I've got them."

Truth grinned widely at him "You've done it! That's the right answer!" Ed clapped his hands together. "Good job, you beat me. Go ahead, take him home" Ed put his hand on his Portal and deconstructed it.

Edward helped Al to his feet, using his shoulder to support his brother. They started towards the gate "Come on Al, let's go home"

They paused. The gate hadn't opened. The doors had only cracked apart slightly. Behind them, they heard chuckling.

"Or we could make an alternative deal, if you're interested. Who knows, it could be worth your while"

~o*o*o*o*o*o~

Ed turned to look at Truth "What kind of a deal?"

"I'm open-minded. Let's chat"

Edward and Alphonse walked slowly towards the grinning figure. They sat in front of it. Ed looked closely at Truth, trying to figure it out. Then he grinned at it "You want something, don't you?"

"My job is to balance this universe. There are many like me, each with their own universe. The adjacent universe has a problem. I want you to fix it" Truth told him. Behind it, the hazy outline of Ed's Portal appeared.

"You want to send me to another universe and fix their problem. I just got through fixing this one. What's your opening offer?" Ed wanted to refuse. He'd just saved Amestris. He wanted to take Al home, thank those who had helped him, mourn those he'd lost, and see Winry. But saying no would mean letting another world go through what he'd spent the last year fighting against. Could he really do that? Could he really stand back and tell an entire universe 'You're on your own. I'm too tired to help you'. Sadly, he really couldn't.

Truth smiled at him "I'll give you your brother, your alchemy, and your leg"

Ed smiled back "An interesting offer, I'm sure. How long exactly will I be gone?"

Truth frowned for a moment "Maybe ten years"

Ed scowled at the Grinning Bastard "So, I get my brother back, but I can't see him or anyone I know for ten years? Outrageous! That'll cost you far more than you've offered so far"

"I can't give you your mother back, Little Alchemist. It's been far too long" Truth replied unsmilingly.

"That's too bad, it would've been a good bargaining position" Ed replied in a grim tone.

"You're right, it would have been an excellent bargaining position. If I could have used it to convince you to undertake the task, I might have done so. So, Little Alchemist, what's your counteroffer?" Truth asked, trying not to smile.

"My brother, my alchemy, my leg, no ten years, and a whole lot of knowledge"

"You were getting knowledge anyway. Did you really think that I'd send you to another world to fix a problem, and tell you nothing? Guaranteed failure from the outset. And alchemists who might succeed aren't exactly common. Even simple humans like yourself who might succeed aren't common. You need the ten years to do the job, it won't be a quick task. What knowledge did you want?"

Ed gave a Truth-worthy grin "I'm an alchemist. I may sound like Greed here, but I want it all"

Truth grinned back "Maybe. Do you have any other wild requests, while we're still tossing ideas around?"

"Oh, I've got plenty. You did, after all, say you were open-minded. How about Colonel Bastard's eyes, Teacher's organs, Zampano's body, Darius' body, Heinkel's body, Jerso's body, Havoc's legs"

"All excellent bargaining positions, Little Alchemist." Truth smiled in what Ed thought was a condescending manner.

"And hell, while we're at it, Maes Hughes" Ed growled, daring Truth to say something.

Truth frowned "Oh. Oh, that one would cost you. The equivalent exchange on that will hurt, but it might be possible"

Ed laughed "How bad could it possibly be? You still need me to do the job. No, let me clarify, you need ME far more than I need YOU. So it can't be that bad, can it?"

"How astute of you, Little Alchemist. It will not cost you an arm and a leg. The cost will be elsewhere. And I lied about your bargaining position. Havoc's legs, there's no deal there. That's just a damaged spinal cord. I have no particular influence there. Doctor Marcoh is your best bet for that. As for the human chimeras, surely if I give you knowledge, you'll know how to fix that problem when you return"

"Yeah, I probably will, too" Ed replied, wincing. He hadn't thought about that.

"Nevertheless, if you want the Colonel, your teacher, Hughes, your brother, your leg, your alchemy and knowledge, you will give me a century of your life in another universe"

Ed stared at Truth. There really wasn't anything to say. Finally, he regained his presence of mind and growled out "Explain"

"Explain what, exactly, Little Alchemist?"

"Explain the Equivalence on this deal you're proposing. Where does the century come in?"

"Oh? I see. Let me try and explain it for your little mind. I'll be brief, and give you the short version. Maes Hughes, deceased on the 29th of September, 1914. Today is 4th of April 1915. Just over six months since his death. The level of coherence his soul will have this long after death is quite good. If you waited until a year after death, we would be having a very different conversation."

"I'm not sure I understand, truthfully" Ed replied quietly.

"Oh, very droll, Little Alchemist. I shall try to explain. The soul decays after death. It fragments, it frays. As it frays, the process of fragmentation accelerates, until, well, there's nothing left. The homunculi you fought were a swirling maelstrom of soul fragments. Although, I am impressed that Kimblee was able to retain coherence after being absorbed by Pride. And your father was able to maintain over half a million souls as coherent entities for over four centuries. Truly impressive, even from my perspective."

"I'm sure it is. Getting back on track, as we were" Ed said pointedly.

"What? Oh! If we were having this conversation a year after Hughes' death, then I would be telling you that the level of decay was such that, even if I brought him back, he wouldn't be the same. There would be enough missing, enough degradation, that he might as well be a different person. Today, there would be some loss, but it would be minimal."

"Any idea what would be lost?"

"Hard to say, the process is largely random. Memories or other upper level aspects of self is most probable. But now that I've told you that it's possible, will you pay the price?"

"I'd want to know what it is, first. In detail, if you would be so kind."

"Prudent. Maes Hughes, age 29. If he wasn't dead, he probably would have lived another 45 years. So I need that from you, and the same again for returning him to life. Ninety years from you. Plus the time you need to complete the task. That makes a hundred years. Do you concur?"

Ed growled "Yes, I concur"

~o*o*o*o*o*o~

"I'll need to knock a few years off you first. Give you a better chance of lasting a full century. Plus, it'll provide you with an excellent cover. People always underestimate a child. You know that better than most, don't you, Little Alchemist. And you yourself know how effective Selim Bradley was as a disguise"

"You're doing this to toy with me, aren't you?" Ed scowled at Truth.

"Maybe just a little bit. But the best place for you to be in order to fulfill the task is as a student at a school. For that, you'll need to be eleven again"

"Will I see my brother again? Winry? The Colonel Bastard? Teacher? All my friends?"

"Highly likely. Unless you die in your task. Or they die before you return"

Ed turned to his brother, who'd stayed silent the whole time. Unsurprisingly, Al looked worried. "Al, will you tell everyone what happened here"

Alphonse managed a weak smile "Of course, Brother. They'll suspect something when you don't return"

"Assuming that the Colonel Bastard's eyesight doesn't give them a major hint" Ed told him, trying to make his brother smile.

"Or me" a familiar voice said behind them. Ed turned around and saw Maes Hughes standing near the gate. A very naked Maes Hughes. A very naked confused Maes Hughes. "Ed, where am I, and what is this place? And where are my clothes? Did Roy do this?"

"Good to see you, Brigadier General Hughes, if not quite so much of you" Ed replied, trying not to laugh.

"It's Lieutenant Colonel Hughes, Ed. At least I think it's Ed"

"It's me, Hughes. And Al. You're currently dead. You were posthumously promoted"

"Nice one, Ed. How'd Roy rope you into this prank? How come you look older, and where is this place?"

"Hughes, this is where alchemists come when they attempt human transmutation. You died a while ago. And that grinning bastard is Truth. Or God. Or The Universe "

"But I'm not an alchemist, so why am I here?"

"That's simple. Truth and I are making a deal. You're just part of the trade. Think of me when you enjoy your life, Hughes. I may not see you for a long time. A hundred years, apparently."

"That sucks, Ed. But if this is real, I appreciate it. Gracia! Elicia! They must have been so alone without me"

"If you appreciate it enough to pay me back, look after Al until I get back"

"So Little Alchemist, the final deal. Your brother, your alchemy, your leg, your teacher's organs, the colonel's eyes, Maes Hughes, and knowledge of alchemy"

"Everything about alchemy" Ed clarified

"Yes, everything about alchemy"

"While you're at it, throw in everything about automail too"

"You don't need automail any more" Truth told him, in a 'you forgot something and I'm doing you a favour by telling you' tone

"It's a fascinating topic"

"Very well. Automail knowledge too. In exchange for all that, you agree to revert to being eleven, to spend a hundred years in an adjacent universe, and fix the problem you are sent to deal with"

"That… sounds… correct"

"Then Alphonse and Maes Hughes can depart, and we can talk more about the task. Say goodbye, now."

Ed hugged his brother "Don't worry Al, I'll see you again. It just might be a while"

"I know" Al replied, trying not to cry.

Ed turned to Hughes "Hughes, you owe me one. Don't forget now. You can start by paying back the Colonel the money I owe him"

"How about I look after Alphonse instead?"

"You can do that too. Go, be with your family. I paid a price to give you that, Hughes. Don't waste it"

Hughes and Al moved slowly towards the Gate, which opened wide for their passage. Ed watched them walk through. He kept watching until the Gate slammed shut. Then he turned around to look at Truth. He startled a little, seeing his Portal reconstitute itself behind Truth.

~o*o*o*o*o*o~

"Let us sit and talk, Little Alchemist. It's time for your end of the bargain"

A wave of fear swept over Ed. He cursed himself. He'd been so caught up in thinking about what he'd get out of the deal, he'd never once asked what the task was. 'Restore the balance' could mean any number of things "I'm ready"

"You're terrified, I can tell. Equivalent exchange, Edward Elric. You didn't question the equivalence of the task when I agreed to bring Hughes back"

"Has the task changed?"

"No. Not in the slightest"

Ed swallowed the lump in his throat "It's big enough to warrant bringing someone back from the dead. How bad is it really?"

"Bad. What is the one taboo, do you think?"

"Well, if it's not human transmutation, or human sacrifices, and if it's not creating philosopher's stones... you mean what is the common element?"

Truth nodded, and Ed continued "They're all about defying death, so... immortality?"

"Good. Death is a universal constant. There must be a beginning and an end. There must be an accounting and a reckoning. Efforts to bypass this universal constant are an affront to Us. The adjacent universe has that problem. Restore the balance, Edward Elric"

"Sounds simple enough"

"No, not really, Little Alchemist. If it was simple, I wouldn't need you, now would I? It's a very weird universe. Let me tell you about it...