It all started with a blackout that spread across Pasadena like wildfire. Cue Penny freaking out about whether or not it was her fault for not paying her electric bill, Sheldon freaking out because an apocalypse is probably starting, and Leonard busting out his lightsaber like a miniature Jedi. A pretty sight.

"Oh, good," Penny said breathlessly as she opened the door to the guys' apartment. "I thought it was just me."

Sheldon looked at her as he roasted marshmallows on a Bunsen burner. "There are 7 billion people in the planet, Penny. It's never just you," he replied, and she could feel the air quotes around the "just you."

"Yeah, whatever," she replied. "I'll be in my apartment if any of you boys get scared or something." Sheldon and Leonard watched as she shut the door a little too hard.

Sheldon shrugged. "Someone's on their monthly cycle." Leonard's eyes widened, then he squinted at his crazy roommate. "First of all, that's not a very nice thing to say. Second of all, how can you possibly know that?"

"Aside from the attitude?" Sheldon asked, and Leonard responded with an incredulous shake of his head. "It's the 15th of the month. Last month on this exact same date Penny had been exhibiting the signs of being on her monthly cycle, complete with the food cravings, the mood swings, even the headaches. And I've noticed when I came by that day that she had an array of feminine products by her bathroom sink."

Leonard looked even more horrified. "That's... Gross. I'm terribly sorry I asked."

Sheldon finished roasting a handful of marshmallows. "Would you like a s'more?" Leonard nodded. "Fine."

They fixed their s'mores in silence, having nothing to discuss. Leonard was actually grateful that Sheldon wasn't especially talkative tonight. If there had been electricity, he'd have had his ear talked off.

"Leonard," Sheldon broke the silence. Great, I jinxed it, thought Leonard. "May I ask you a question?"

He sighed audibly, but curiosity took a hold of him. "Ask away, buddy."

"I have been doing research about women." Sheldon replied before taking another bite of his s'more, leaving Leonard wide-eyed yet again. "Excuse me?"

Sheldon wiped his hands. "More specifically, I have been doing research about how males choose their mate. Apparently the criteria ranges from attractiveness, physical proportions, intellect, maternal capacitance... Among other things."

Leonard swallowed, trying his hardest to come up with something to say. "Okay..."

"Based on that, if I were to choose a mate, she would be beautiful, so that I would have aesthetically pleasing progeny. She would have at least average IQ, so that combined with mine, our children will be sufficiently smart and with no social awkwardness issues." At this point Leonard almost spit out his s'more. What the hell is going on? "And, in addition, she would have to be someone close to me. Someone who is already familiar with my routines. Someone who knows me well enough."

Sheldon paused, as if for dramatic effect. "So, Leonard, I have to ask..." Here it is, Leonard thought.

"...what do you think of Penny being my wife?"

Two days earlier

Sheldon's meemaw had been sick for a while, and he knew it wouldn't be long until she had to go. It had been hard for him to accept this, but he was familiar with the life cycle-the beginning and the end. Lying in a hospital bed her meemaw looked tiny and pale, and Sheldon held her hand so gently, fearing she may break.

"Sheldon," meemaw said feebly, and he pulled a chair to sit beside her, enabling him to hear her better. "Yes, meemaw?"

She smiled. "I'm old, Moonpie," she said. "And I might not have a lot of time..."

"Don't say that!" Sheldon exclaimed. His meemaw was his weakness, and he didn't like seeing her this way.

"Oh. sweetheart," she replied, looking up at her favorite grandson. "We both know it's true."

He sighed audibly. "Well..."

Meemaw squeezed his hand as hard as she could. "Sheldon, your brothers and sister are happily married and with kids," she said, thinking about the little Coopers who had been fussing around her all morning. "You're the only one who hasn't given me any great-grandkids."

"Well, I have other plans," Sheldon replied stubbornly. "I'm the only one who could give you a Nobel prize!"

"Moonpie, seriously, what am I going to do with a Nobel prize?" She replied. "Sheldon, it will bring me great joy if you were to marry before I pass."

Sheldon's eyes widened. "Meemaw!"

She laughed. "Please, Sheldon? Think about it. Wouldn't it be cute to see my little Moonpie with a doting wife and little genius babies? Imagine having a wife to make you fluffy pancakes cooked in bacon grease everyday. Your dad, I remember, loved everything cooked in bacon grease."

"Of course he did," Sheldon said as he thought about his late father. "But meemaw, I don't need a wife! I don't need a doting wife. I can take care of myself."

She laughed again, much to Sheldon's annoyance. "Oh, please. Leonard takes care of you. That girl, Penny? Takes care of you too. You can barely function in society on your own." Meemaw sensed Sheldon's discomfort. "Look, Sheldon. My one wish for you is to find someone to love, and someone who loves you. And who wouldn't love my precious little Moonpie?" She smiled. "Please, Sheldon, humor the old woman."

Present day

"Are you serious?!" Leonard half-screamed. "Penny as your wife?!"

Sheldon, calm as ever, nodded. "She is more than qualified, Leonard. You should know."

Leonard was freaking out. "Don't you think that it's a little... weird? And Penny-how can you be sure that she will agree? She hates your guts most of the time."

"It's not a permanent arrangement, Leonard," Sheldon replied. "I just need to fulfill my meemaw's wish."

Leonard sighed. "I'm not sure she'll appreciate you lying to her!"

"Look, Leonard," Sheldon replied in his calm, logical voice, as opposed to Leonard's shrilly, freaked out one. "Meemaw has always been there for me, when nobody else was. She loved me unconditionally, and she supported my endeavors. Who am I to deny her such an easy request? I will do anything to make her happy, even if that means having to lie. Oh, and frankly, I don't like the idea of being married either. So I'm sure this arrangement is not going to last."

Leonard stayed silent for a long time, and thought about Penny and Sheldon. Surely it's not going to work between them, right? "You know what, Sheldon, I give you my blessing," he finally said as he realized that yeah, Sheldon's going to screw this all up.

AN: Hi everyone! I am terribly sorry that I've been gone for so long-I had been really busy! So to make up for my absence I will be writing this multi-chapter fic. Bear with me as I update from time to time :-)

Reviews are appreciated, as always!

TBBT's not mine. :-)