Back from the...Almost...Dead...

Live from the crazy world that is the inside of sassykittens head, here is the latest news of her current life, and the insanity that has kept her away for far longer than she'd like. Please stay tuned.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

The scene was set, the desire was there, and she could hear the quiet murmurs and gentle taps coming from the kitchen where two unexpected guests had ended up, claiming that it was what she needed. But that wasn't true. What she needed had abandoned her when she had needed it the most.

Her muse.

Sitting curled up on a well worn couch with a blanket tucked around her, a poorly neglected laptop tucked into her lap, tears could be seen trailing down her cheeks as she stared sadly at the still blank page in front of her. It had been months since she had touched a single key of her beloved computer, months since she had argued with her muse to create worlds that others would love. Sure, things had happened that were far beyond her control, but that wasn't the point.

Hearing a boom of thunder echo outside of the living room window, she jolted, tucking down deeper into the blanket draped around her shoulders and lightly sniffed. She didn't know what deities she had pissed off, but the last year had gone out with a rather large 'fuck you' and the new year appeared to be continuing the trend, at least for the next month or two.

The sound of a door being slammed open to hit the wall with a bone jarring crack had her shrieking, jumping and spinning around, nearly falling off the couch, only to come face to face with a rather close, furious face, blue gray eyes cold as death, and sparks flying around him. Whimpering, she was quick to shrink back as far away from the hulking behemoth towering over her. Alas, the couch kept her from going too far, and she found herself cornered against the arm and back.

"What the hell do you think you've been doing you lazy shit?! Haven't even cracked your computer open once until now, and still nothing?! What the fuck is that blank page bullshit?!" The tall blonde male snarled, bending over to growl into her face, not even backing down when her brown eyes behind thick lensed glasses widened, and more tears fell.

The little brown puppy burrowed in another blanket, napping at her feet, leapt up with a snarl to snap at Laxus's face. "Leave her alone, you big meany! She was sick!"

"Laxus! What is your problem?" A smaller decidedly more feminine blond stomped into the room, followed by a one eyed, maroon haired, glaring man.

"Yeah, asshole. You wanna put her back in the hospital or something?" A single purple eye glared at the big blond before the maroon-haired man held a bowl of soup out for the bedridden woman.

Gulping, trembling, the woman reached out to carefully take the bowl, bracing it on her chest even as she reached out for the puppy, scooping it into her lap, running gentle fingers down the bristling spine.

"It's ok Thera, it's ok. I can take it, besides he's not wrong. None of you are, but dammit I should've been able to do something..."

"Well with you feeding her its no wonder she was in the hospital!"

Cringing, the woman ducked her head down before lifting the bowl to her lips, sipping at the just over warm broth. Feeling movement against the neck of her skin, she reached up to run careful fingers over the soft nose of Nathair who had been drawn out of hiding, peeking his head out from under a fold of blanket.

"I'm a damn good cook when I wanna be Spark Plug."

"We are here to help her feel better, unlike some people."

"You two should be just as upset as I am! You are both being left in limbo in all her stories because she is neglecting us!"

"She isn't neglecting us on purpose you overgrown sparking twat-waffle! She almost fucking died!" Erik snarled, hands curling to keep from unleashing possible poison. He had seen Nathair peek his head out, and even now was a bit impressed with the names he could hear the little snake calling Laxus.

"What the hell are you idiots talking about? It's obvious she doesn't care anymore, she's never left any of us for this long before! So, what lame excuse did she give you bleeding hearts to win you over?" Laxus scoffed, arms crossing over his chest even as he continued to stare down at the cowering woman on the couch. His nose twitched slightly as he stared at the still growling brown puppy, trying to find out why the pup seemed so familiar to him. Flicking his eyes up to the small snake staring at him hard, he merely lifted his brow. Here was yet another character that had been neglected, created by the woman herself, and somehow he was in the wrong.

"Pull your big electric head out of your huge ass, Laxus Dreyer." Laxus blinked at the foul mouthed little canine. "For starters you are only seriously limbo-ing in, like, one of her stories right now, and that is Overkill Fieldtrip where you have your little water mage of a mate tucked right against your side. I know, because I put her there! And she has been helping as much as she can while she was hovering on the edge of death!" The puppy crawled up and tucked her head under the woman's chin. "Stupid dragon."

Huffing a little wetly, the woman finished the broth quickly before wrapping both arms around the puppy. "Thank you Therashae, you're a sweetheart." She murmured, continuing to give gentle scritches behind cute floppy ears.

Blinking a little in shock at the name, it took a moment before Laxus' jaw dropped when the name he heard connected.

"Wait, Therashae?! This little brown ball of fluff is Therashae?!" Laxus demanded.

Sighing in a bit of exhaustion, the woman looked up at him with tired eyes. "Yes, this is Therashae. When we visit each other in our own worlds to work with the stupidly stubborn characters that we are absolutely crazy about, we tend to be a bit different. She's more puppy like here, and when I go there, in her world, I turn into a little black kitten that drives her versions of you guys absolutely nuts at times."

"I've poisoned her furless more than once over there." Erik rolled his eyes before plopping down on the other end of the couch, crossing his own arms over his chest. "And yet, like a cockroach, she just keeps coming back. Don't know why the fuck we were so worried about her this time..." The enraged shriek that came from the still standing, smaller blondes soul had him wincing.

"You know why Erik. This was completely different." Lucy snapped, fisting her hands on her hips.

"Ok enough, obviously I'm missing something, what the hell happened?" Laxus demanded, furious gaze darting from one hostile glare to another before falling once more on the tired brown eyes of the woman on the couch.

"Want the long, short, or summary of what has been going on in the crap that is my life right now?" The woman asked with a sardonic smirk.

"Uhh... Summarize it? I really don't do the whole whining, sob story thing."

"Ok, short and to the point then. If it hadn't happened once before, on a much smaller scale, and I hadn't known what to look out for symptom wise, there is a very good chance I would've died in November of last year." The woman said with a shrug, glancing down at the soothing warmth of the ball of fur in her lap, missing the shocked look on the larger blondes face.

""That was, like, two months ago..."

""Hey look, guys! Sparkling dipshit can count! Besides, that wasn't the only crap that happened to her since the end of October, that was just the most severe thing." Erik huffed, scooting down further into the couch as he felt his own twang of guilt. "Look, I damn near reacted like you when I first showed up a few weeks ago, but I had the added benefit of hearing everything that happened in her soul. After that, even I felt like a complete dick, and that doesn't happen. Ever." He admitted, grumbling, casting his eyes to the side.

"Aww! Look, Lucy. Erik's heart is showing. I just wanna give him so many puppy kisses!"

"Do it and suck poison you brown lumped rat!"

"But you're so cute when you have feelings! I bet you taste like candy too! Like caramel! Ooh! Or chicken liver! I bet you taste like chicken liver! Please! Just one kiss! I promise I won't do more than one or ten!"

There was a flash of gold where Virgo appeared, left a bowl full of chicken liver on the couch between them, and disappeared once more.

"Well...looks like you got the chicken liver you wanted..." chuckling softly, the woman placed Therashae next to the bowl, giving her one last pet, before turning back to Laxus. "So...you still want the short and to the point? Or a few more details?"

Laxus watched the little brown puppy happily munch on the fried liver, extremely concerned that his future was in the hands of an insane dog and a slightly dead crying woman. Groaning, he ran his hands roughly over his face before plopping down on the chair that he had been standing next to, he heard Lucy head back into the kitchen. Eyeing the group on the couch, he saw the snake tuck itself back into the folds of blanket around the womans shoulders.

"Alright, so maybe a few more details would be good, but don't take forever, and please for the love of Mavis, don't start crying more than you already are."

Taking a deep breath, the woman nodded before beginning.

"Back in October, I came down sick with some stupid stomach bug that lasted about a week. A week went by, I was fine, then I got sick again, this time with a head cold. Again, lasted roughly a week. It sucked, but no big deal, it's happened before. It was the end of October that things started to go wrong." Pausing for a moment, the woman reached out take a sip of water from the glass Lucy had brought back in before leaning on the couch next to Erik.

"My dear Aunt Flo arrived, again, not really a big deal...until it lasted over a week, and the entire time it was heavy. One week turned into two, had a day or two with nothing, only for it to start again, still very heavy. This continued on throughout all of November. It was severe enough that I ended up in the hospital needing a transfusion of two units of blood. They even put me on medication to stop the bleeding. It didn't work. Roughly a week and a half later, I was back in the hospital after almost feinting at work and getting sick, and was admitted, only to have another transfusion, this time of four units." Pausing for a breath and another drink, she continued.

"So in total, in less than two weeks, I had to have six units of blood put back into me. And I'm fairly certain you're aware that a human body only has about eight units of blood in it. Obviously there was something wrong. After another week or two, it finally stopped. I thought I was in the clear. How wrong I was. About another week to week and a half later, I woke up to sharp stabbing pains, worse than cramps, in my lower right back, stabbing into my front. Back to the emergency room I went, and after getting a cat scan, it was found that I had a 7mm kidney stone in my right kidney, that I could not pass on my own, and was literally backing it up. I was given more medication, sent home, and told that I would be called to set up an appointment to get it handled."

Letting out a tired sigh, she closed her eyes and rolled her head on her shoulders before opening them once more, shrugging at the horrified look on the famed Thunder Gods face.

"The only drawback is it wouldn't have happened until after the first of the year. I still had a week before that happened. The pain became too much, even with the meds, and I went back in two days after Christmas to have an emergency surgery, where I was knocked out, and woke up to having a stent in me. From there I spent over a week with it in me, but finally got it removed. For the record, having a stent in is very uncomfortable, and painful when moving. Imagine the feeling of a uti, but with the knowledge that you don't actually have one. I'm still recovering from those things, and the month isn't done yet. I still have a consult to go go, so I can schedule another surgery to get my own tubes snipped. SO yea, I've been going through a lot the last few months."

"So basically her body tried to drain itself in order to die and escape her brain and when that didn't work it blocked the exits and tried to drown her. Painfully. Impressive really." Lucy slapped the back of Cobra's head. "Ow! Paws off woman!" Shooting a glare over his shoulder at the small blonde, he rubbed the back of his head before turning back to Laxus. "And now she has to cut a chunk of herself out to appease the gods of death and carnage." He was quick to dodge the next swipe Lucy sent after his head, but just barely.

Laxus rubbed his forehead. "OK. So..." The room waited silently for his apology. "Are you done dying now so we can get on with our stories?"

Lucy growled and the puppy pushed it's ears over it's eyes and pinned them there with it's little white paws.

"Shit! Scary Lucy! I'm out!" Erik proofed out of existence just like one of Lucy's spirits.

Chuckling quietly, the woman reached up to pat Lucy's hand. "It's ok Luce, I know he doesn't apologize often. At least now he knows, and I can tell him, and the other readers, that yes, I'm back, and as far as I'm aware, I'm done dying now. It may still take me a bit of time to get back to everything, and I have other ideas that have started planting tiny seeds, but I'm going to be working on updates slowly."

Turning back to Laxus, smirking evilly at the suddenly worried he gave her. "And besides, I'm going to be home for a week after the next, and hopefully last, surgery for a long time. My husband isn't going to let me do much so I'll be working on updates to help fend off boredom."

Patting Lucy on the hand once more, the woman smiled. "Go ahead and head on back, I'll be fine. I'll make sure to call if I need help with anything on my end ok?"

"You'd better. I have no qualms siccing Virgo on you if needed to make sure you do." Giving a quick sniff, Lucy disappeared like Erik had in a poof. Smiling gently, the woman lifted the little brown pup to give it an eskimo kiss. "Thank you for your help Therashae, I'll make sure to yell if I need help. I should be fine for now though, if you want to take this story and share it with the readers of Overkill?"

"Okie Dokie. Can do. Rest up good so we can do awesome stuff with all the dragon slayers making sexy eyes at their mates!" With a quick lick to the womans cheeks, Therashae the pup poofed out, a roll of paper clamped between her teeth. Turning back to the large blonde still sitting closed by, the woman began to smirk and suddenly Laxus felt very, very nervous.

"That's right Laxus, be nervous. Because come January 29th, I will be going through what will hopefully be the last of my surgeries for a VERY long time. And when that happens, I'll be on mandatory bed rest, leaving me with roughly a week or two to come up with all sorts of things to get back at you with. So just you wait, and be nervous, be very nervous."

He gulped.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

That's right folks, what will hopefully be my last surgery for a good long time, will be happening on January 29th, and once I've recovered from that, no longer will I have to worry when dear Aunt Flo will pay a visit and potentially hospitalize me again. So please bear with me, I'm trying to get in what updating I can between now and then, and will then have roughly 2 weeks of bedrest to hopefully, finally, make some updates. Thank you all for you time!

Nathair flicks his tongue out in a silent wave