A/N: I wrote this ages ago - it was my first Panna fic, but with Paily still together. It's not great, but it has its moments. I'm just going to upload the whole lot. Scenes in italics are either flashbacks or flashforwards. Hopefully which is which should be clear from the context.
Paige was crying when she came through the door.
"I'm so sorry Emily," she said, wrapping her arms around her girlfriend. "I'm so sorry."
"What happened?" Emily asked.
Paige just looked at her, her face distraught. Emily was worried now. She hadn't seen Paige like this in a long time.
"Come in," Emily said gently. "Sit down."
Emily tried to ignore her own nerves. She knew that Paige needed her.
"I didn't mean to," Paige said as they walked into the living room.
"It's OK," Emily said, though she had no idea if it was.
They sat down, and Emily took Paige's hand.
"Paige, I need you to tell me what happened," she said. "Please."
It had been a good day. Hanna and Page were having a coffee after an afternoon of clothes shopping together.
"Aren't I just the best shopper," Hanna said, holding up her bags.
"They weren't exactly cheap," Paige pointed out.
"What are you talking about? They were all on special," Hanna responded. "Except this one… and the scarf. But the rest were on special. Just think of how much money I saved by buying all of them."
"They're nice," Paige said.
"You got some good stuff too," Hanna said.
"Yeah," Paige replied.
"A lot of denim," Hanna said.
"I like denim," Paige said.
"Does Emily think you look sexy in it?" Hanna asked.
"Um, not specifically," Paige replied.
"I bet she thinks you look sexy all the time," Hanna said.
"Umm…" Paige began, but didn't get any further.
"I'm sorry," Hanna said, though she didn't look very sorry.
They drank their coffee for a while.
"Did you have fun?" Hanna asked.
"It was great," Paige replied. "It was really nice just hanging out. We don't get to do that a lot."
"Yeah, well, an afternoon with no one trying to run us over or anything is always good," Hanna said.
"True," said Paige. "But it's also, I don't know… you've always been Emily's best friend, and I'm probably Emily's girlfriend to you. It's nice to just be friends."
"Yeah," Hanna said. "Friends."
When they finished they walked back to Hanna's car.
"Did you want a lift home?" Hanna asked.
"No, I like to walk," Paige replied.
"Weird, but OK," Hanna said.
"I've had a really great day," Paige said.
"Me too," said Hanna, smiling broadly.
Hanna opened the boot and put her bags in.
"We should do this again some time," Hanna said.
"Yeah," said Paige.
Paige put her arms out and the two of them hugged.
Then Hanna kissed Paige. Just as they were pulling away from the hug, Hanna leaned in and pressed her lips against Paige's. It only lasted for a moment, but it felt like longer.
Hanna stepped back, shocked.
"I… I better go," was all she said.
Paige stood in silence and watched as Hanna got in the car and drove away.
Hanna sat in her car, her hands still gripping the wheel even though she was parked outside her home. She was sweating. She felt sick.
All she could see was Paige's face after Hanna had kissed her. All she could think about was Emily when she found out. She wasn't afraid of Emily being angry at her. She wanted Emily to be angry. It was the hurt that scared her. The hurt on Emily's face. The hurt that Hanna had caused.
"Em, we need to talk. Paige" was all the message said.
Paige ran the distance from her home to Emily's. She had to tell Emily. She had to tell her now.
Her mind was consumed by a single instant. The instant when the shock wore off, and she realized Hanna was kissing her. The instant before Hanna pulled away. The instant when Paige stayed in that kiss.
Emily was dizzy. It was so much to take in. She had so many questions.
But one detail stood out.
"Paige, you said Hanna kissed you," she said. "You didn't do anything wrong."
"It feels like I did," Paige replied.
Emily was confused.
"Why?" she asked.
Paige looked to Emily as if seeking guidance, but just shook her head.
When Hanna walked in the door she headed straight for the stairs.
"Did you have a good day?" her mother called out from the kitchen.
Hanna headed upstairs, ignoring her.
"Dinner's almost ready," Ashley called.
Hanna was almost to her room.
"Is something wrong?" her mother asked.
"No!" Hanna called back, closing the door.
Paige was leaning into Emily arms, as Emily did her best to comfort her. She stroked Paige's hair and lightly kissed her forehead.
"I'm sorry Em," Paige said. "I guess I just got a bit freaked out."
"It's understandable," Emily said.
"You're probably shocked too," Paige said.
"You could say that," Emily replied.
"Are you OK?" Paige asked. "You've been so busy looking after me."
"I don't know," Emily replied, and she didn't. It had all come out of the blue.
"How do you feel about it?" Paige asked.
"Surprised, I guess," Emily said. "And worried about Hanna."
"Worried?" Paige responded.
"She probably feels terrible now," Emily explained.
"You're not angry?" Paige asked.
"Maybe I should be, I don't know," Emily said. "But it's Hanna. I care about her too much to just be angry. I want to make sure she's OK."
"I doubt she'll want to talk right now," Paige said.
"I know," agreed Emily. "But I should send her a text."
Emily disentangled herself from Paige and picked up her phone.
She composed a short message.
"Hey Han, just spoken with Paige, want to make sure you're OK. We'll work this out. Emily"
Paige looked at what Emily sent and started to cry.
"What's wrong?" Emily asked.
"Nothing," Paige replied. "You just care about other people so much. It's beautiful. Make sure you're OK too."
"Caring about the people I love is how I stay OK," Emily replied.
Emily went over to Hanna's house the next morning.
Ashley answered the door.
"Emily, I'm so glad you're here. Hanna won't come out of her room. Do you know what's going on?" she asked.
"A little," Emily replied. "I need to talk to her."
Hanna stared resolutely forward, refusing to make eye contact with Emily.
"Can't we just forget it?" she asked.
She sounded angry, but Emily knew she was angry at herself.
"I don't think we could if we wanted to," Emily replied.
"Look, I'm really good at ignoring things," Hanna said. "I do it all the time."
"I just want to know what it meant," Emily said.
"It meant nothing because it didn't happen," Hanna snapped back.
"Please Hanna," Emily said. "I want to know."
"Well I can't tell you, can I?" Hanna responded.
"Hanna, I'm your best friend," Emily said. "You can tell me anything."
"You don't get it," Hanna said, almost shouting now. "I kissed your girlfriend. You should be angry at me. You should hate me."
Emily put a hand on Hanna's shoulder.
"Pretend I'm someone else," she suggested.
"What?" Hanna asked.
"Pretend I'm a complete stranger you're telling the story to," Emily explained.
Hanna looked up at the ceiling and too a deep breath.
"I kissed my best friend's girlfriend," Hanna began. "I completely screwed up. We've been through everything together and I betrayed her."
Hanna paused for a moment before continuing.
"My friend… she's always been there for me and now…" Hanna voice was breaking up. "Now it's all gone because I was an idiot. She's going to hate me and I deserve it. I just… lost control. And now it's over. I don't want to lose her. I don't."
Hanna was crying now.
Emily waited a moment, but Hanna seemed to have finished.
"This friend," Emily said. "If you've been through so much together, I'm sure she doesn't want to lose you either. You've been there for her too. When you're ready, you should talk to her."
Emily studied Hanna's face for a reaction, but there was none.
"She'll understand," Emily added. "She cares about you."