Author's Note: All standard disclaimers apply. On a more personal note, this is just a little scene (one of two) that might turn into a story beginning. If not, maybe it functions well as a one/two shot. (not even sure two-shot is a thing...LOL). In other words, I'm making no promises. I got the idea by wondering how Kanan would tell Hera about his past as a Jedi and what her reaction would be. I know there's a comic book that has a little of this in it, but I have not read it yet, so this is just something out of my head. Call it AU if you want...or whatever. Maybe you'll like it. Maybe I'll get a review or two and post the next part...Maybe there's a full fledged story in here somewhere.

Transmute: verb-to change or alter in form, appearance, or nature and especially change to a higher form. Also, the supposed conversion of base metals into metals of greater value, especially into gold or silver.

"Transmutation"

1.

"I thought we were done for sure." Kanan shook his head as he handed Hera a glass with a green liquid in it. They'd landed on Etti IV a few hours ago, spent time going over the Ghost for damage after the firefight, and now it was time to celebrate still being alive, no small victory for them after drawing the attention of the Empire.

"Five TIEs in all. We're going to have to start painting them on the hull." Hera gave him a smile as she examined the drink he'd handed her. "Ok, this looks like..."

"Twi'lek liquor. I know the good stuff. I wasn't a bartender for nothing, you know. Picked this up on our last supply run."

She let the flavor of the liquor roll around on her tongue, knowing she should drink it slowly; it was notoriously strong. And this was the good stuff; it went down smoothly. As they sat in the small galley area of the Ghost, she remembered the first time she'd seen him. He'd begun to shed that fast-talking, lone-wolf persona and had become something entirely different, especially when they were alone together. Oh he could still find that attitude when he needed to pull it on like a favorite coat, but now...she could sense he was letting down his guard with her. Hera was a people watcher, and always had been; she'd noticed quickly that there was another side to this gunslinger from Gorse.

"A crack shot AND expert bartender. Hmmm…." She looked up at him teasingly. He was watching her intently, but when he saw her eyes on him, he looked away, almost shyly. Now that was new. She raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I am a man of many talents." Kanan felt suddenly self-conscious under her luminous gaze and threw back the rest of the violent green liquor in his glass. It went down too easily, and he reminded himself not to say anything that...well...that he would normally say to a woman when he'd been drinking. Back before he knew her well, it had been simple to let his mouth do the talking while his brain was on autopilot, but the longer he remained with Hera, now as a member of the crew, the more he respected her and valued their relationship. She was not one of the normal vacuous twenty-year olds that he had bedded in his past. In fact, even thinking about his past conquests and Hera in the same moment, felt wrong. It caused him to blush deeply and he tried to hide it, but was unsuccessful.

"Ok, spill it," she said.

"What?" He played dumb, but knew she could see right through it.

"Whatever made you turn that nice shade of red." She held out her glass for more and he refilled it. "Spill."

"Yeah...uh...not gonna happen." He refilled his own glass. "I thought we were going to plan our next hit on the Empire." Distraction. Yeah that was good. He could always distract her with the Empire.

"Ok." She had decided to play along. "What do you have in mind?" It was amusing to catch him eyeing her for a change. The first few weeks they'd been on the ship together, she'd brushed off all the cheesy pick up lines until he'd run through his stock at least twice and finally given up. When she began to see the man under all the disguise, she'd begun to look at him more closely.

And he was such an eyeful. He was just so kriffing attractive, and seemingly unaware of it at certain times. He knew he wasn't hard on the eyes—Kanan had confidence—but stars above! She'd almost fell down one time when she caught him coming out of the 'fresher after a shower, his shirt off, brown hair down and slightly damp, and wearing only a pair of sleep pants. And he'd not even noticed her flustered expression. Yeah, getting used to living with Kanan Jarrus was turning out to be quite an experience. Was there attraction there? Yes. Most definitely. Did they both feel it? She was pretty sure he did as well as she. However she was determined not to be another one of his conquests. That was definitely certain—so their relationship was mostly a work one so far.

And they worked very well together. It was good to have another hand around, and another being to talk to. Chopper was great, but his companionship only went so far. Kanan was quick-witted and extremely intelligent. He knew his way around a ship and was a hard worker. And he was just about the most fearless person she'd ever known. Five TIES had not daunted him the least amount; with a smile, she'd listened to his howls of triumph from the top gun turret each time he destroyed one of the enemy fighters.

"What do I have in mind? Hey, I'm just the crew, Cap'n." He gave her a mock salute. "You just tell me where to go and I'll fly us there."

"Not so fast, hot-shot. I'll fly us there. My ship, remember?" She raised an eyebrow playfully. "Hmmm...what about checking out Raxus Prime? I have a contact there that might have a little work for us while we're planning our next hit on the Empire. I want our next exploit to be big. We need to hit the 'net this time." She nodded toward the holonet; the news was playing silently, showing the ever-present "Enemies of the Empire."

"I'm up for that-" Suddenly Kanan trailed off, and sat straight up with his eyes focused on the broadcast. A very old male human, dressed in heavy furs, was being arrested by a squad of stormtroopers. The background showed them to be on an ice planet. The grainy footage showed Hera what had attracted Kanan's gaze. A trooper was carrying a lightsaber that he'd taken from the old Jedi. She turned up the volume quickly.

"...Sources say the Jedi traitor, most certainly part of the rebellion, had been hiding on Toola for years. After capture, he was summarily executed for his crimes against the Empire." There was footage of the execution, which was swift. When the blasters fired, Kanan's face hardened, but he didn't look away.

Hera snapped off the holonet as soon as the story was over, wishing she'd turned it off before they'd viewed the last scene. Kanan downed the rest of his glass and reached for the bottle, saying nothing. He refilled his glass twice and emptied it, a bitter expression on his features that he was trying to hide. She could feel the change in him—the sadness and anger coming off of him in palpable waves.

"Are you okay?" She ventured after a few moments, careful of pushing too hard. In all the months they'd been together, she'd stepped gingerly around the mystery of his past. Not even on the night on Lothal when they'd finished up a mission by stealing fifteen boxes of power converters from the Empire. Afterward, at their next stop, he'd disappeared for six hours.

That whole day he had been on edge; although he was unwilling to admit anything was wrong. He'd returned late that night, so drunk that she didn't know how he had gotten himself back to the Ghost in the spaceport. She'd had to actually guide him to the bed and force him to lay down. He had muttered a lot; some of the words she'd picked up were "Kaller," "Master Billaba" and "kriffing anniversaries." She hadn't asked him the next day about it—sensing that she'd been privy to something that he would never have shared if he'd been in his right state of mind. Truthfully, she thought if she were to pry, that he might take off; just as he'd been about to do on Gorse. No. The best policy, she'd thought at the time, was to let him take his time...if he wanted to open up to her, he would. But now, she wondered. Keeping this secret, whether it was about being a Jedi or something else that she couldn't imagine, seemed to be causing him pain. "Kanan, are you alright?" She murmured again when he didn't answer.

"Sure." He avoided her gaze. "I'm fine." He downed another shot of the Twi'lek spirit too fast for Hera's liking. It was the best way to deaden the pain of the past, dulling the feelings that he didn't dare let show.

"Was it the news story?" She knew it was, and this time she dared to push a little too hard, even though everything told her not to. "Did you know that Jedi?"

"No." He stood up and went into the galley area, then came back. The nervous energy in him was spilling over and showing itself in his darting eyes. "Uh...I don't think I'm gonna be good company tonight." He said abruptly, looking around like a trapped animal and refusing to meet her gaze. Should he tell her? About everything? He felt a rising sense of panic as memories of his past welled up inside of him. For a minute he actually couldn't move, feeling pulled to stay, to have one person in the galaxy that would understand what he had gone through. He also felt pushed to go, to protect her from a truth that could be dangerous. His heart felt like it was beating out of his chest.

"Kanan-" She began. "You don't have to..."

"No." He knew his panic was causing him to act irrationally, but couldn't seem to help himself. She could see his jaw tighten as he finished speaking, as if he were struggling against saying too much. "I'm sorry, I just gotta get out of here. I'll...I'll be back."

He snatched the bottle and headed toward the back hatch, leaving her in stunned silence. Something was very wrong, she knew. It had to do with all the puzzle pieces she'd begun fitting into place when she'd first met him. From their adventure on Gorse, she knew he had Force-abilities. He had no family, no long-term friends and no home. For goodness sake, everything he owned fit in one bag. They'd been traveling around for a few months and he'd remained as tightly closed as an airlock about any personal information except the most general and basic kind. Was he a Jedi? It had been fifteen years since Order 66-the murder of almost every last Jedi in the galaxy...Kanan would only have been a teenager back then. She turned her head and stared after him. What had happened to him before she met him? She was trying to be patient, but it was hard when this secret of his was tearing him apart.

She found herself wondering if she should follow him, but quickly discarded the idea. He could handle himself, and would likely look negatively upon her following him around as if he couldn't. But they were going to have to have a talk when he returned.

The twi'lek headed for her quarters, unable to shake the panicked look she'd seen on his face. He'd apologized, showing he obviously cared about what they were doing here, and didn't want to damage their relationship. It made her feel better, to an extent. But they were going to have a talk. "You big nerfherder." She muttered as she tugged off her boots and shed her flight suit. Crawling into bed, she remembered to com Chopper.

"Hey, Chop. Wake me early if our AWOL first mate doesn't show up by sunrise." She waited for his affirmative chatter before she snapped off the light, but it was still a long time before she fell asleep.