Darkness cannot drive out darkness;

only light can do that.

Hate cannot drive out hate;

only love can do that.

Martin Luther King Jr.

Three days she'd just wandered around the forest. For once there was no sense of urgency to be anywhere. So with no need for a destination she wandered in circles.

Three days before her feet led her back to the drop ship. She stopped before the ruined hunk of metal. It already looked different from the last time she'd been there. With Anya. More of the forest was taking back the land. There were no more bodies laying around, Clarke had spent hours gathering them, placing them around Anya's body and burning them. It was their custom, and now, knowing more about them, Clarke couldn't bear to allow their spirits to be held there.

Despite how tired she was, Clarke knew she couldn't stay there long. There was too great a chance someone from Camp Jaha would catch her. So after only a few minutes of rest, Clarke finally looked around, trying to decide where to go.

Camp Jaha was to the southeast, so that direction was out. Going north was also out. It was getting colder already, and going north while winter was nearly upon them. She would just be asking to die. If she went west, she had no idea what she would find. Maybe someone hostile, or maybe nothing at all. To the east was the ocean. She remembered looking down at Earth from her cell on the Ark. The ground was better then she ever imagined it would be. Maybe the ocean would be too.

Her mouth was dry and so was her canteen. There was a river around somewhere, but she was too thirsty to concentrate on where to go. She'd survived on berries so far, the ones she knew for sure were safe. Though she practiced with the knife she had, she still sucked at doing anything with it. Her gun was tucked into the waist of her pants, but with so few bullets, she didn't want to waste them unless it was an actual threat.

Stumbling over roots, Clarke's mind began to wander. She could recognize where she was. Near Mount Weather. Thoughts of Lexa clouded her mind. Anger burned through her veins as she recounted what happened on the mountain. She thought of the way Lexa looked at her just before turning her back on her. It made her mad to think that Lexa felt bad about leaving her, about putting her people first. Clarke hated that she had to kill everyone in the mountain because Lexa walked away.

How many people could have lived if they had just stuck to the original plan? How guilty would Clarke still feel if it had just gone the way they thought it would. Would she be out here wandering the wilderness? Would she be in camp with her family and friends? Would she have gone to Polis with Lexa, learned a new way to live? What if?

Suddenly feeling as though she can walk no further, Clarke searches the area to find somewhere hidden to curl up. She finds a small cave just feet away from where she stopped. It doesn't go far back, and it shields her from the wind. Unable to make a fire, Clarke just lays on her side, her back against the rock, her gun beside her head. Her eyes drift closed and she quickly falls into a deep sleep.

Melted faces stare at her from the trees. She can't make out any faces, though she knows who they are. They whisper words through the air, but none of the words make any sense to Clarke. She takes a step towards them, but finds she's unable to move her feet.

"I bear it so they don't have to."

She turns on the spot at those words. She'd said the same thing to Bellamy when she left. She looks into the face of Dante Wallace. There's blood on his chest, blossoming out from where her bullet hit him. She opens her mouth to tell him to leave, when she hears the one voice she wishes she didn't.

"I made this choice with my head and not my heart." The words cut deep, and Clarke flinches away.

She turns to face them, her chin held high. "I didn't," she says. She made her choice with her heart. She chose the people she loved, the people she knew from birth over many. There were so few of her own people versus over three hundred of the mountain people. She chose her heart.

The faces faded away, leaving Clarke nearly alone in the dark. She can hear footsteps, but her eyes remain on Lexa. Deep down in her heart, she knows that what the other girl did was for the best, had she known about the deal, she would have urged her to take it. Here in her dreams, she could admit that to herself. Here in her dreams, she could watch herself make the same decision every time.

She would always make the decision to help her people first. She would always take care of her own.

The sound of a twig snapping wakes her up. She grabs her gun and stares out into the trees. After several tense minutes, she hears nothing else and lowers her gun. It's early morning and a thin fog has settled over the ground. Figuring that she might as well get up and continue her journey Clarke stands and stretches. She tucks her gun into her pants, and picks up the small pack she had picked up from the drop ship. She stares at the sky for a moment, pinpointing the sun, and begins walking.

She's near the entrance to the mountain, and without a second thought, she alters her path to come to the large metal door. It's left slightly ajar, just as when they had left with their people. She spends minutes staring at the door. Too many memories flooding her mind at once.

~0~0~

She feels exhausted. She's not really sure what's keeping her going at this rate. The only time she had slept was just after they set up the relief camp. Once the tents had been set up, someone, probably Indra, and pushed her in the direction of her own tent. Once she saw her bed, she collapsed in it, falling asleep almost immediately. Thankfully into a dreamless sleep.

Once awake though, she hadn't stopped. She'd gone around to all those they'd rescued from the mountain. Talking to them all, asking them if there was anything they needed. She wasn't a healer though, and couldn't help with many of their injuries. Instead, she took to staring at the maps of her lands, and trying to figure something out. They needed to rebuild TonDC. It would be important to get it done before winter approached them. Many of the survivors were Trikru. Several were from Azgeda, considering how close they were to the border. A couple were from Ouskenjon Kru, and a few more were from Floukru. Trikru would provide a guard to each clan to help get their members back home.

Currently, she was trying to figure out a good route for the Azgeda to go by. She wanted them out of her lands as soon as possible. Though they were part of the coalition, she doubted that would last for too much longer. Without a common enemy, they would resort to what they did in the past. Attacking Trikru. Trikru was the next largest clan after Azgeda. Queen Nia had long desired the land, and the power. There had been many wars in the past where she tried to take over. The last Commander had died by her hand. With the coalition, and Trikru leading it, Nia would see it as an even bigger target. Though no Trikru would follow her even if she did manage to take them over. For generations they had been led by the Commander's spirit. Only those with black blood would ever be able to become Commander. That was why they had a special school in Polis.

Her stomach growled and Lexa put down one of the little wooden figures she had been holding for the past while. Sighing she turned to sit down on her throne. The familiar wood was comforting and soothed some of her thoughts. One war had just been won, but her mind was already going to the next one. She wanted peace for her people, but somehow it seemed like the universe just didn't want that to happen.

"Heda."

Lexa glanced up at the enterance of her tent. "Come in."

Indra entered carrying a plate of food. She set the food down on the table, to the side of the map. "Everyone has eaten, and you have not left this tent in hours."

Lexa glanced at the food. There were a couple pieces of meat, whatever the hunters managed to kill that day, and a few berries. "I am not hungry."

Indra just raised her eyebrows. She was the general for Trikru since Anya had passed, and in that time, she had quickly learned just who Lexa was, and how she acted. "Heda-"

Lexa held her hand up. She didn't want another person to look out for her. Anya had. Gustus had. And now they were both dead. If Indra tried then she would probably end up dead as well.

"How are those from the mountain?" Lexa changed the subject.

Indra accepted the change. "They are getting better. Several of our own have already left to go back to their villages. They were close to home and wanted to see their families. The Azgeda are nearly well enough to begin their journey home."

"They will leave as soon as they are able. I will send a few of our warriors with them to ensure safe passage."

Indra nodded.

"The mountain?"

"Fallen."

Lexa looked up in surprise. And relief. "She did it."

"Our scouts say that Skaikru were headed back to their camp carrying several injured. Clarke was among them."

Relief flooded Lexa's chest. She'd hoped against hope that even against all odds that Skaikru would prevail. If they hadn't, she wasn't sure what would have been made of her deal with the mountain, having them walk above ground without suits would probably have been worse.

With nothing more to say, Indra turned to leave. She paused before ducking out, turning to look at Lexa. "Get some sleep, Heda."

For once, Lexa was inclined to listen. She got up, moving to take the plate Indra brought with her to the back of the tent where she slept. She ate the food, not wanting to waste it, before removing her armour and boots and crawling under her furs.

Sleep did not come quickly though, her mind was too full of everything that had happened recently. Without realizing how much time had passed, she finally fell into a fitful sleep.

It felt like only minutes before she opened her eyes again.

"Heda? There's someone from Skaikru requesting to see you."

Lexa groaned quietly. "I will be there soon." She heard footsteps walk away from her tent. Waiting just a couple of minutes, she pushed herself out of bed before pulling her boots on, and donning her armour. She took a few minutes to redo the messy parts of her braids and apply her war paint.

In less then ten minutes she was pushing aside the flap of her tent, stepping out into the bright morning sun.

A/N:

Hello, welcome to one of the Soulmate verses that I'm planning on writing. There's nothing overly special about this one. It's canon divergent, and is pretty much a rewrite of season three. I don't have too much time to write, so chapters will probably remain short. I'm hoping to update every week.