Author's note:

Warning: I think this chapter is rather emotional.

Thank you for reviewing and reading the previous chapter. I really appreciate it! Please enjoy this story, I welcome any types of review/comment.

Chapter 7

Found

(Event happened right after the previous chapter)

It was almost 7 in the morning. Liz was busied herself in the kitchen. She could not make herself sleep or rest for a while after what happened. She discarded some leftovers from last night into a bin and started washing the dishes. When it was finished, she opened the kitchen shelf to find a cereal box. Later she took a bowl and opened the fridge to bring out a bottle of milk when she noticed Ressler leaned against the doorframe, looking at her. She wondered how long he stood there. His face was unreadable. He was back in his long sleeve T-shirt and black trousers, his hair was tidier, although seemed little wet, clearly after shower. He carried his tie on one hand while the other hand brought his suit. Ressler walked into the kitchen, dropped the suit on the top of a chair and told her.

"Uh.. I found Agnes pooped quite a lot. So, I just changed her diaper. She's asleep now."

Seeing his face and the way he reported that, Liz wanted to laugh. But she held herself because she was not sure of how he would react after all that just happened. She studied him, then walked closer from the fridge to the table near the chair where his suit laid. She put the bowl and the milk on the table.

"I have to go." She heard him saying.

"Straight to post office?" She asked, looking at him. He looked better than a few hours ago, she thought. From their distance she could smell one of Reddington's soap from him. She admitted Reddington indeed had a taste.

"No. I... need something to do at home first."

Liz smiled mischievously. "Can't survive without your hair gel, huh?"

His tense body language seemed to relax a bit after hearing her comment. He chuckled.

"It's impossible to find one from Reddington's." He responded.

She laughed.

"Let me help with your tie." She offered.

His smile was faded slowly. He looked a bit surprised, but say nothing, just handed his tie to her. Liz took the tie and stepped closer, started her work.

'How could the situation quickly become so awkward?' Liz thought while trying hard to concentrate on what she was doing and to finish it as fast as she could. She could feel his eyes on her. Silently she felt a little regret for offering help because there was an uncomfortable silence, and she started to curse the blue tie in her mind. She could feel her heart speed up, hands colder, cheeks warmer. The silence became unbearable.

"There you go." Liz whispered while adjusted his collar back. He was definitely close. She took one step back, avoiding his eyes, focusing on his tie.

"Looks good." She said. 'On you'. She did not say.

"Liz," he called. She carefully brought her eyes meeting his. His eyes were intense. She thought she might allow herself to lose in it.

"Look," he said, took a step forward. "About what you said earlier ... I think I'm not such a 'strictly by the book guy' anymore. Since you – and consequently Red – came, and after what happened with Audrey... my life has never been the same. When you on the run, it's getting harder to keep the rules ..."

Liz's face showed a disapproval look.

"Yes, but without your determination to fight from inside the system, I would never really be free. I don't want you to cross the line too much. If our world – me and Red or Tom – collides with yours, I can imagine that it will..."

"Hey," Ressler interrupted her. "Let me handle about that part, all right? The point is..." he stopped, groped for the right words, let out a heavy sigh, before stepped closer and taking her face. His right hand captured her face, partly between her right chin and cheek. "I... I don't think I can go through those moments again..." he sounded desperate now. He let his hand drop, took a step back and a deep ragged breath. Liz looked at him, frowned, trying to catch what he meant.

"You know... moments when you on the run..., Liz, I did stupid things. I lost perspective." He looked disappointed and remorseful.

"Ressler," Liz approached him again.

"Liz, I slept with Samar." He choked up. His face was in anguish. His voice was almost inaudible.

Liz stopped. Her heart was stung once again. His confession scratched her still fresh wounded heart. She never thought it was what he struggled to say. But she stepped closer to him.

"Ressler, it's okay. I know." she said, trying to calm him down.

He looked dumbstrucked at her knowledge.

"I know. It's okay. I understand." Liz said again, reassured him more.

He looked conscious again, then shook his head vehemently.

"No, it's not okay! How could you say it's okay? I was with her when it's you whom I'm in love with!" He nearly shouted.

The kitchen room went into a dead silence then. It was like even a drop of a needle on the floor could be heard right away. They stood face to face, personal boundaries were long gone, stared each other speechless.

Ressler's shock was reaching to his face when he realized what had escaped from his anger and hurt while Liz's blue eyes grew bigger as she choked back her own sobs.

'How could I be so blind?' Her mind whispered.

Ressler shook his head in realization, looked into her eyes again. Despite what it seemed a slight of hesitation, he raised his hand to her face, his fingers gently moved some strands of her black hair which partly covered her cheeks, and put it behind her ear. Then while his hand cupped her cheek, he muttered softly, desperately, "I don't know since when you've become the first thing in my mind when I wake up in the morning... I know that we had a sort of agreement after that night on your birthday... but I... I couldn't pretend that what we did was just a roll in the hay... I'm sorry, Liz..."

He looked defeated.

Liz felt her tears fell down slowly on her face. Faintly she remembered what Samar had told her just a day before.

She put her hand firmly on top of his hand on her face.

"It wasn't just a roll in the hay ..." her voice was cracked. "Oh, God, Ressler, it wasn't!" she repeated.

'How could you think like that?' Her mind said. 'Yeah, what do you expect he to think after all that you did?' Other voice in her mind shouted accusingly.

Liz reached his face. Her right thumb wiped out a single tear that had left his left eye.

"I'm so sorry... I've hurt you so much..." she sobbed, looking into his eyes.

Ressler pulled her close, put his forehead onto hers.

"Please don't do that to me again... Don't just shut me off..." He whispered. "I could not afford to lose you again." He mumbled.

Liz put her hands around his neck. Then, she released her head of him, looking up at him.

"I won't." She said to him clearly. "Will you open up a little bit next time?' She continued, "I... I want to hear you... I want to help more... "

Ressler did not answer. Just looked at her. Then slowly, as if the moment did not real to him, he leaned forward. Liz felt his lips press on hers gently before a slight moment of hesitation. His hands pulled her stronger into his embrace. Their body collided. His kiss spoke a lot of emotion, some of it she could not name. Desperation, longing, passion, ... and love. Liz melted into the kiss, gave as much as she got. She felt something inside her heart. Aching slowly became into something lively which made her heart swelled with an unbelievable feeling she could not describe. And it felt honest.

They broke only because of the lack of air to breathe in. He did not let her go, just rest his forehead on hers. They both were panting hard. She could feel all the warm. His hand was tangled between her hair on the back of her head, so did her hands on his. She slowly looked at him. His eyes were closed. When she saw his eyes opened slowly and found hers, she rose on tiptoe and stole another mild kiss to which he responded gently. When they separated after a few second, she looked up and found this kind of smile she really missed. She found herself smiling back. He looked radiant. She promised herself silently to make him looked like that more often.

"You know, I should fix your tie again." She said.

He laughed and pulled her again. Her head pressed on his chest, close to his neck. She could hear his heart beating. She put her hands around his back and felt he kissed her forehead.

"I missed you.." He mumbled.

Liz was about to say the same thing when she heard a very cheerful voice sprang into the room.

"Agent Ressler! Thought I will find you here. Did we just miss something?"

Reddington looked at them, followed by Dembe and Mr. Kaplan.