Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize, everything belongs to CBS and those who run everything.

Warning: This is probably as AU as it gets and at times might appear OOC but hopefully you understand why. I'd also like to state this was written way before Season 13, so whatever happened doesn't apply here. Remember I said AU. I don't have any children so most things are drawn from experiences I've had from babysitting my little sister. I haven't been anywhere but in South Africa so please forgive me when some geographical things are wrong.

A/N: This came to me during my summer holiday in December and I decided to run with it. I don't want to give the story away so stick with me on this one. I am aware that this type of story has been done before, but I'd like to think this one is different for a whole lot of reasons. By that I mean Kelly is alive. Now please I'm not trying to copy anyone, I just thought I'd like to share this with all of you. I'll all so provide a time line to make this story more understandable. To all my readers who are TIVA lovers, I'm sorry Ziva isn't with us any more, but I promise to give you loads of TIVA in future chapters. I was slightly baffled by the fact that Tony now has a daughter, but I think it's cool, what a way to exit right.

Time line:

1984: Gibbs and Shannon get married.

1991: Gibbs deployed (Desert Storm).

1993: 1) Kelly is born early March.

2) Shannon dies in car accident (Kelly wasn't with her)

3) Gibbs get the news in Somalia(Operation Restore Hope 5 December 1992 – 4 May 1994).

4) Gibbs joins NCIS.

The large cargo plane was deadly quiet, the only noise coming from the growling engines. He squeezed his eyes shut, willing the dull throb of pain in his head to go away. He cleared his throat and licked his lips, he could still taste the desert sand. The plane jolted violently causing pain to course through his body, the soft material from his t-shirt felt like sandpaper on the burns covering his shoulders. Jethro sighed and looked around at the other passengers.

Most of them avoided his gaze, they weren't usually the ones who received bad news about loved ones. Jethro pulled two laminated pictures out of his breast pocket, tracing the outline of those in them. His stomach clenched painfully as the reality of everything started sinking in.

The scorching sun was already burning everything in its way, Jethro Gibbs limped across the hot sand. He smiled at the thought of his wife scolding him for not being careful. A gust of wind blew sand his way, causing his exposed burns to sting. He clenched his jaw and trudged towards the large tent. He was slightly confused as to why he had been called, he was set to go home in a couple of days. He unconsciously touched his breast pocket, feeling the two laminated pictures tucked away safely.

Spotting his C.O. standing near a group of Humvees, he changed course and walked towards him. His stomach clenched tightly as he got closer, a gut feeling, telling him something was wrong. He saw Patrick Kiley standing close by. He stopped, straightening his back and balling his fists, standing at attention.

"At ease Gunny." The two men glanced at each other and then turned to Jethro. "Gunny, there's no easy way of putting this..." Jethro could feel his patience starting to slip as his C.O. kept stalling.

"No disrespect Sir, but what is all this about?" Jethro watched as the two men looked at each other again, he caught Patrick's eye and glared at him, all he did was give him an apologetic look.

"It's Shannon, Gibbs. She's dead." Jethro stared at both men, his muscles stiff from shock, he could feel his throat tightening. Shaking his head violently, he looked at both men waiting for the worst to come.

"Kelly?" His voice was hoarse, his daughter wasn't even a month old yet and he hadn't even met her. He swallowed and searched the other men's faces.

"She wasn't with Shannon. Gunny we're sorry." Jethro breathed deeply, fighting the sting in his eyes. He sank down in the hot sand, ignoring the heat, his heart hammering against his chest. Patrick placed a hand on his forearm, he squeezed offering him support.

"Lynn has Kelly." Jethro nodded, he didn't trust himself to answer.

"There's a cargo plane that leaves tonight, you and a few others will be going home." Jethro looked up at his C.O. nodding. "I'm sorry Jethro."

The early morning sun was just starting to rise, bathing the large Marine Base in sunlight. The pink bundle squirmed as the sun filtered through the window. Lynn sighed heavily, new tears threatening to fall, swallowing the lump in her throat.

In the distance the distinct roar of engines could be heard. She watched as the cargo plane came closer. Wrapping the little girl tighter in the soft blanket, she cradled the small baby in her arms. She blinked away the tears and stepped out of the car, shivering as the wind blew across the airfield. She held the baby closer and made her way towards the hangar.

The rear hatch of the cargo plane opened slowly, early morning sun flooding the inside. Jethro stood slowly, he clenched his jaw, trying to ignore the pain surging through his body once again. Grabbing his duffel bag he made his way to the back of the plane. He watched as fellow marines were greeted by their loved ones, he sighed softly, he was hoping to see Shannon amongst the small group of people.

Jethro twisted the straps of his duffel bag around his wrist and started making his way towards the large doors of the hangar. His shirt rubbed against his shoulders painfully, taking a deep breath, he tried to focus on how he'd be getting home. A gentle touch on his shoulder stopped him, closing his eyes he reminded himself that Shannon was gone, he turned around.

Lynn Kiley stared up at him, her eyes red and puffy, in her arms a pink bundle. Jethro dropped his duffel bag, wiping his hands on his trousers, he reached out for the bundle hesitantly.

Cradling the tiny baby close to his chest. He rested his hand on her chest softly, assuring himself that his daughter was in fact alive. He gently removed the edge of the blanket that was covering her face. His eyes were stinging again, and a lone tear slipped down his cheek. He traced her features gently, her skin soft under his callused finger tips. A proud smile graced his lips briefly, all he cared about in that moment was keeping his baby girl safe.

Jethro lifted the little bundle higher, kissing her forehead softly. The baby cooed quietly at the attention, her grey eyes blinking open briefly. He couldn't help but smile once again.

"I'm your daddy Kelly."

Jethro stared out the car window watching as they passed several base houses, his grip ever so often tightening around Kelly. The uncomfortable silence surrounding him was slowly starting to suffocate him. He hated the sympathetic looks Lynn occasionally cast at him, he knew she meant well, but he wanted to be alone for a while to gather his thoughts.

The small three bedroom house came into view, Jethro breathed deeply, steeling himself for what was coming next. Kelly fussed in his arms, sensing the change in the person holding her.

The car came to a slow stop. Jethro stared at the house, contemplating whether he could go in or not. His car door opened suddenly, jerking him back to reality. Swallowing, he held his daughter closer to him and struggled out of the car, ignoring Lynn's helping hand. Resting Kelly against his shoulder he grabbed his duffel bag and slowly walked towards his front door.

The house was a slight mess, evidence that Shannon had been there. His aching skin was nothing compared to the dull throb in his chest. He stared at the pair of slippers that lay near the couch, he pulled Kelly closer, trying to find comfort. He threw the duffel bag on the floor and made his way to the small couch that occupied most of the room. Kelly started fussing again, this time softly whimpering, Jethro looked at her helplessly.

Lynn stood next to him resting her hand on his back. He glanced up at her, she smiled reassuringly and knelt in front of him. She pulled Kelly from his grasp and he reluctantly let her go.

"She's probably ready to be fed again. I'll show you how to make her bottle, okay?" He nodded numbly and followed her.

He listened to her instructions intently, filing them away for later. He welcomed the distraction, it kept his thoughts from wondering into the dark corners of his mind. Lynn handed the little girl over to her father helping him adjust her in his arms.

Jethro watched intently as his daughter latched onto the bottle, her loud cries dying down. Her small hand wrapped around his pinkie, rooting him to the spot, his heart thudded unexpectedly. Jethro leaned down pressing a kiss to his daughter's dark hair. He said a prayer of thanks for the little bundle that was giving him strength.

Lynn rested her hand on his forearm, he looked at her, his eyes clouded. "Jethro, if you want, I can help you look after Kelly." Jethro considered her offer for a while. He looked down at Kelly who seemed to be content for the time being. He shook his head slowly, he appreciated the offer, but he wanted to be alone.

"I think I'll manage, Shannon didn't make me read those baby books for nothing." He declined the offer gruffly. Lynn gave him a watery smile, she took the hint that he wanted to be alone and scurried around grabbing her things.

Jethro walked her to the front door, his knee starting to protest from all the walking. He opened the door for her and stepped outside as well. He cradled Kelly in one arm while giving Lynn a hug. The little girl grumbled at being moved around the whole time. Jethro held his daughter close to his chest, trying to keep her calm. Lynn rested her hand on his cheek.

"If there is anything you need, I'm only two doors down." She spoke softly, Jethro's only reply was a nod. She walked down the steps, stopping on the last one, turning back to face the man on the porch. "I really am sorry Jethro." He only stared at her.

Jethro stood on the porch for a while, he was reluctant to go back inside the house. Things were the way Shannon last left them, it felt like she was only out to run a few errands. He looked down at the little girl in his arms. Her large grey eyes stared up at him, she cooed softy before grabbing his finger again, pulling it towards her mouth. She was oblivious to the heartache that surrounded her.

Jethro lay across the small couch, his burned shoulders pressing into the cushions. His eyes were closed firmly, listening to his daughter's soft breathing as she lay asleep on his chest. He'd been reluctant to let her go, he'd seen her as the only thing that kept him focused, taking care of her occupied his mind enough to prevent him from thinking about Shannon.

He rested his hand on her back softly, feeling the rise and fall of her chest. He'd developed a fear of losing her if he let her go, a fear that she was an image his mind created in order for him to cope. Kelly groaned softly.

Jethro heard the slam of a car door, followed by heavy footsteps. He adjusted Kelly to rest her head against his shoulder. He stretched his knee out in front of him before standing. There was a short, loud knock on his door. He limped across the small room coming to a stop in front of the door. He rested his hand on the doorknob, contemplating whether he should send whoever was on the other side away. He'd done it to the last few people who had knocked on his door. Deciding to see who it was first, he opened the door.

Mike Franks pressed his cigarette against the heel of his boot, killing it. He turned around just as the door opened, revealing a young marine with a baby cradled close to him. He cleared his throat roughly and offered his hand to the young man who was glaring at him.

"Special Agent Mike Franks, NCIS. You must be Gunnery Sergeant Gibbs."

"What do you want?" Jethro asked flatly, he didn't know why NCIS was at his door anyway.

"May I come in?" Mike couldn't give the news to the young man on his doorstep.

Jethro stepped to one side, allowing the older man to enter. He walked straight to the living room, sitting down on the couch once again without offering the older man a seat. He looked at the Special Agent as he stood awkwardly in his living room.

"What does NCIS want from me?" Mike stepped closer to Jethro sitting in front of him on the small coffee table.

"It's about your wife's death. I don't know how much he know, but it wasn't an accident." Mike was silent, watching as the young man clenched his jaw, he clearly didn't like him stalling. "She'd witnessed a murder, agreed to testify against the SOB, said it was the right thing to do. She was due to testify today. There was an agent assigned to her and your daughter for protection."

Mike stopped again clearing his throat, "Three days ago, they were coming back from a doctors appointment when her driver was assassinated. The car spun out of control, causing it to roll. She was killed on impact."

Jethro gripped Kelly tightly against him, his jaw clenched. His blood ran cold, anger surged through his body. He'd do anything to get his hands on the bastard who took his wife away from him. He met Mike Franks gaze.

"You get him?" His voice was a low growl.

"No, the bastard fled to Mexico." Mike didn't miss the murderous look that crossed the other man's eyes. He'd seen the young Gunny's files, knew he was a sniper. "I need you to come down to NCIS field office. There's still some things we need to discuss."

Mike stood and pulled his card out of his coat pocket, he placed it on the table before making his way to the front door.

"I'm sorry Gunny." Mike met the young man's eyes, he could see the hatred and anger clouding them. He briefly wondered if it would matter to let the young man get his revenge.

Jethro stood in the small kitchen, trying to make a bottle while soothing his daughter. The girl hadn't stopped crying from the moment she woke up. He felt more than just helpless since he couldn't ask her what the problem was. Taking off the cap of the bottle he offered it to the tiny infant. She refused to take the bottle and kept crying.

He rocked her in his arms softly, hoping the movement would calm her down so she could take her bottle. He tried to offer her the bottle once more, but refused again to take it, her cries getting louder by the minute. His hands were itching to pick up the phone and call Lynn. He held off on the thought a while longer.

Jethro rested Kelly against his shoulder again and bounced her lightly. Her cries were now directed straight into his ear. He cringed slightly at the high pitched sound.

Jethro walked around the house trying to calm the crying baby down. He could feel his resolve not to call Lynn slowly start to slip. He'd checked her to see if she was dry and found that it wasn't the cause of all the crying. He marched up and down the hall, rocking her from side to side. His body was starting to protest from all the moving, his shoulders were raw and his knee was making it impossible to walk.

He stopped his pacing as Kelly seemed to quiet down, he looked at her as she stared back at him. He was more than relieved that the crying had stopped. He shifted her slightly in his arms, trying to relieve the burning sensation in his shoulders. Kelly's lip started to quiver, another cry filled the house. Jethro pulled her against him, resuming his pacing and rocking her slightly.

Jethro was clutching the phone in one hand, holding his daughter in the other. He punched in the number. He waited, rather impatiently, for the phone to start ringing. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to concentrate, the screaming in his ear was making the simple task impossible. He breathed deeply.

"Lynn Kiley-" She was cut of by the screaming.

"It's Gibbs, Kelly hasn't stopped crying since she woke up." She could hear the tiredness in his voice as he spoke.

"Give her a nice hot bath and she'll calm down, it seems to work. Afterwards take off your shirt and hold her close, the skin to skin contact makes your bond stronger." The line was quiet for a while, the only sound coming from the small infant. "Jethro?"

"Thanks." He spoke gruffly, and she wondered if reality had finally sunk in. He'd been pretty closed off and had held his daughter as if she was his only lifeline.

"Jethro, I can take Kelly-"

"No!" His voice was harsh, Lynn was slightly taken aback with his sudden hostility. There was a sigh, barely audible above the cries. "I just wanted to know how to stop the crying, thanks." The familiar click of the call ending was the only sound she heard.

Jethro watched as the small bath tub was slowly filling up with water. Kelly had tired of screaming and was whimpering softly. He dipped his hand in the water to feel if it was the right temperature, satisfied that it wasn't too hot, he leaned down and took Kelly out of her car seat. He undressed her swiftly, trying to prevent another bout of screaming.

He placed her in the small tub gently, watching as she stretched out as she came in contact with the hot water. Her whimpering died down as she seemed to relax. He breathed a sigh of relief as she quieted down. Her large grey eyes met his blue ones, he stroked her cheek and she gurgled in reply.

He was fine in watching her enjoy the relaxing heat of the water. He took one of her hands in his, resting it in his large palm. He counted her tiny fingers one by one, doing the same with the other one. He moved down to her feet, counting each toe. There was a lump in his throat as he wondered if Shannon had done the same thing.

The little girl reminded him of her mother so much. She shared her mother's nose and crooked little fingers. Her hair was dark, like his with a tinge of red in it, and he was more than sure that they would be curly the older she got. If she was anything like her mother she'd be fighting the curls every chance she got, forcing them to relax and be straight.

Washing her quickly, he lifted her out of the tub and wrapped her in a soft towel. He dried her and made quick work of putting on her diaper. He lifted her so he could find something for her to wear, only to have the diaper slide right off her. He rolled his eyes at himself, it was the third time it happened to him. He was sure the diapers were too big for her, not ready to admit that he didn't seem to fasten them tightly enough.

Jethro paced around his bedroom, cradling Kelly in on arm while the other held her bottle. She looked at him, he hummed quietly, trying to get her to sleep. Kelly pushed her bottle away, her cheek resting against his hot skin. She cooed softly as he sang the words of the lullaby, he could hear Shannon teasing him for being off tune. He smiled softly as Kelly smacked her lips and cuddled into him. Her breathing evened out as she fell asleep. He stopped pacing and laid her down in the bassinet that stood right next to the double bed.

They hadn't bothered to turn one of the other bedrooms into a nursery since their house in DC was already set up with everything. His deployment would have ended early anyway. Jethro scrubbed a hand across his face. The burns on his shoulders were aching along with his knee.

The hot water cascading down would have been a relief if it didn't sting so much. Jethro stepped out from under the spray so the water hit his chest instead. The burns were already healing but they were sensitive and raw from rubbing against his t-shirt all day.

He let the hot water run over his face. Up until he put Kelly to sleep he hadn't thought about Shannon being gone. Mike Franks had only caused him to close up and ignore the pain and heartache by being angry with everyone who had lied to him since the moment he found out. It was in the silence of the shower that he realised that some good-for-nothing bastard had not only taken his wife from him but also the mother of his child.

Jethro balled his fist and clenched his jaw, fighting the urge to yell in anger, in pain.

He slammed one fist into the tiled wall of the small shower, causing one of the tiles to crack. He didn't care for the two knuckles that were spilt open and bleeding freely. He rested his forehead against the cool tiles. He could still see Shannon's face the last time he said goodbye.

Shannon pulled the coat around her tighter, a small shiver running through her as the wind blew. She bit her lip to fight the tears from falling, the lump in her throat becoming more unbearable. She wiped her nose with the over used tissue. She watched as Jethro loaded his duffel bag in the bed of his pick-up. She rested her hand on the baby bump, rubbing soothing circles.

She wanted to blame the tears on all the hormones, but she knew that she was afraid of losing Jethro, now more than ever. It wasn't his first deployment, in actual fact it was his last, but since Desert Storm she'd been more than paranoid that he'd never come back. She felt the baby kick her hand softly, causing her to smile, at least she'd have company while he was deployed.

Jethro walked towards her, smiling sadly, she knew he'd been upset when he'd received word that he'd be shipping out. They both knew that he wouldn't be back before Kelly was born. He came to a stop in front of her, pulling her as close as possible. She rested her head against his chest, relishing the last few moments of being close before he left. Resting one hand on the baby bump, he looked at Shannon, trying to hide his own emotions. He pressed a soft kiss to her hair.

"I'm sorry I won't be here when she arrives" Shannon laughed softly wiping at the tears that were now running freely.

"Breaking your own rules Gibbs?" He laughed with her before kissing her again.

Jethro rested his forehead against hers, her bright blue eyes met his. She tried to convey how much she loved him, that she wanted him to come back in one piece. She opened and closed her mouth a few times, the quiet sobs preventing her from saying anything.

Jethro hugged her against him, trying to comfort her. He knew the thoughts that were running through her mind, he'd spent the most of last night thinking about what would happen if he didn't come back. Shannon drew a ragged breath, trying to calm down. Resting one hand on his cheek she looked him in the eye again.

"We've said it all before." Jethro nodded, leaning into her touch.

"I will be safe. I will come back." Jethro spoke softly, trying to draw out their time together as long as possible.

"I love you." They declared in unison, both smiling slightly. Shannon pressed her lips to his, savouring the taste of coffee that seemed to cling to him all the time. They broke apart, holding each other a little while longer.

Jethro rested both his hands on Shannon's expanding abdomen. He met her eyes, "Tell her that Daddy loves her when she gets here."

Jethro pulled out of the driveway, staring at his wife in the rear-view mirror. He could see the tears staining her cheeks, every fibre in him wanted to comfort her, tell her that everything was going to work out just like they had planned. He swallowed heavily as she disappeared out of his line of sight, he hoped that he would be returning home to her.

The cold water hitting his body brought him back to the present. He felt slightly nauseas. He did return home, but not to her. She had been the one to leave him. His grit his teeth as another wave of nausea hit him. Seeing her face, remembering her lips pressed to his, it was all becoming too much for him to bear.

Shutting of the water, he stood in silence for a while. His heart pounded in his ears, his head spinning slightly. He fumbled with the shower door, trying to force it open, he grabbed a towel quickly. He slipped on the tile floor, but made it to the head in time.

He heaved, but there was nothing in his stomach.

Jethro sat down on the floor, his head resting in his hands. He desperately wanted a stiff drink- wanted to drown the heartache in bourbon. The cool metal from his wedding band pressed into his skin.

He pulled the perfect circle off his finger, holing it in his palm. He clutched it tightly in his hand. Silent tears streamed down his cheeks. He wanted all this to be a bad dream, a side effect from heavy pain medication. He felt lost without her- knew he was lost without her.

He could hear her scolding him for spending too much time in the basement. Could see her disapproving look as he drank straight from the milk carton. Her voice echoed in his head as she told him she loved him. The look of excitement as he stepped off the cargo plane, home from deployment.

He'd forever be haunted by the guilt, that maybe, he could have done something to save her.

Special Agent Michael Franks leaned back in his chair, cigarette between his lips and his feet propped up on his desk. The hectic buzz of the small field office filtered through the slightly cracked door. He listened intently as the two women who sat close to his door exchange the latest gossip. He rolled his eyes as they gushed about some guy.

Women. He'd never understand them.

He looked around his desk hoping to find something to keep him busy. He was itching to get back to Washington, where the real action was. He briefly wondered if his latest team members knew what they were suppose to do. Pulling the thick file towards him, he flipped it open, revealing a young woman with soft blue eyes.

Mike sighed and closed the file again. He'd seen countless cases like these, a marine on deployment coming home to an empty house, but this case was different. There was no jealous lover or greedy friend, it was a woman who tried to do the right thing. When he was first asked to handle the case he approached it like he usually did, no personal involvement. But the look in the young Gunny's eyes when he was told the truth made him rethink his decision, would it really make a difference if it was someone who wasn't an agent who pulled the trigger?

The two women outside seemed to have quieted down, much to Mike's disappointment, but he could still hear the occasional whisper. He strained to hear what they were saying, no doubt it was something he would have enjoyed hearing.

The slightly cracked door opened fully revealing the young Gunny. Mike quickly pulled the cigarette from his lips and killed it. He dropped his feet off the table and stood quickly.

"Come on in Gunny." He watched the Gunny limp into the small office, the small baby cradled in his arms, fast asleep.

"It's Gibbs." Jethro grumbled, loud enough for the older agent to hear but also not to wake Kelly.

Mike moved back behind his desk, sitting in the squeaky chair. He pulled the file from earlier towards him, flipping it open once again. He cleared his throat, causing him to cough.

"Why am I here?" Jethro broke the stiff silence.

"We need to finalise the paperwork, and we need to know where we should send your wife's remains." Mike looked up from the file.

Jethro looked down at Kelly, he stroked her cheek softly. Things had hit him hard last night and this morning when he realised he'd have to say goodbye to his wife. Kelly leaned into his touch more, seeking more attention.

"Washington." His voice was gruff from holding back his emotions. He glanced at the older agent.

Mike nodded, scribbling on the bottom of the piece of paper in the file. He closed it and pulled another file towards him, he thumbed the edge, contemplating his next decision.

"What happens now Agent Franks. Does my wife die for nothing or is NCIS going to hunt down the bastard who did this?"

Mike placed his hand on the file he was looking at. He slid it across the table before he stood, the young Gunny had made his decision easier than he thought. He stopped in front of him, leaning back on the desk. He looked at the young man then at the baby girl in his arms.

"NCIS can't do anything. The last we heard Pedro Hernandez was just outside Mexico City in Cuautla." Mike looked at Jethro pointedly, hoping he'd get the message. Mike indicated towards the file with his eyes, "I'm going to the head."

Jethro waited until the Mike was gone before pulling the file towards him. He opened the file slowly. He stared into the inky black eyes of his wife's murderer. He studied each aspect of the man's face, storing it for later use. He scanned through the information in the file quickly.

He heard the grumbling voice of the older agent as he came closer. He shut the file and pushed it away. Jethro stood and adjusted Kelly so she rested against his shoulder. He held her close finding comfort in her heavy breathing, pressing a kiss to her hair he closed his eyes. There was only one thing left for him to do before he could think about moving on.

A life for a life.

A/N: Hope you've found it enjoyable. The first three chapters will be like a sort of 'pre-series'. I apologize for some characters coming across as OOC, but stick around and you'll see why. Small spoiler alert, well meet a certain red head in future chapters. If reviews are good I will continue.

To those who've reviewed my previous stories, thank you so much.

Please review. Feedback is much appreciated.