Author Note: Hello, everyone~ I posted this on here before, but I kind of screwed up some stuff :o No worries though, because I think it's okay now that I uploaded it again. Thank you for reading and sorry for the inconvenience!

...Self-destructive...

Hide had tried to help. He had tried to save him. He had done everything he could. But it still ended up like this. With him drunk and delirious in a dark room, because he could no longer stand the light.

He registered another knock on the door, but he ignored it. It was probably someone coming to tell him he needed to eat, or bath, or get out of this room. Something. Anything, but just wasting away like he currently was.

Why am I here?

Where's Kane-

Oh right. Kaneki was dead. Dead and supposedly stuck in the fancy urn he was hugging tighter than his current vice. There was definitely something in there. He'd checked of course, but he was only able to verify that it was indeed ashes. The CCG had told him they'd save Kaneki and that had been a lie. So when they handed him an urn of his friend's remains, he'd been skeptical. Regardless if it was Kaneki or not, he clung to it like it was.

It was too dark and Hide was too drunk to see shit, but he could perfectly envision the glorified jar Kaneki was contained in. It was grey – the same shade as his friend's melancholy gaze and gravestones. And neatly printed on the front, were the characters for his friend's name. There were no birth or death details. No details about the kind of person Kaneki had been. Not even a 'In Loving Memory'.

That didn't matter though, because Hide had all those little details burned into his memory. The gentleness of his eyes. The shyness of his smile. The way he could be so accepting of everyone but himself. Hide couldn't forget no matter how much everyone wanted him to.

He idly rubbed the engraving of Kaneki's name like one would rub a magic lantern. Maybe a genii would pop out and grant his wish of being reunited with Kaneki. Or better yet, maybe Kaneki would pop out and grant Hide's wish himself. He'd make a great genii with that desire of his to make everyone happy.

"Hey, Kaneki buddy," he whispered, rubbing the smooth surface over and over, "Wake up sleepy head. Come out and grant my wish."

He continued to stroke the urn as he began to offer bribes. "Come on 'Neki. I'll buy you as many books as you want. I'll take you out for burgers. Or coffee. Or people," he laughed a little, "Or me. Whatever you want."

He knocked lightly on the lid, but of course there was no response.

"Please," he rasped, "Please."

"Kaneki." He curled his body further around the cold stone as his energy dwindled. "Kaneki."

"Kaneki."

"Kaneki."

"Kanekiiiii."

His voice was beginning to slur and seize from a mixture of alcohol and emotions. Yet he continued to call out as if his friend would eventually answer.

But there was no answer. Just like there had been no answer to his text messages. Or emails. Or phone calls.

"I want to see you again," he pleaded, head resting against his best friend's name.

He could feel himself slipping off into a dream and he knew it would be a sad one.

"Rabbits can die of loneliness."

I'm so lonely without you.

Just like he predicted, his dream was a sad one.

In his dream, Kaneki had told him he hated him. He'd cursed him and blamed him with viciousness Hide had never seen before. And though Hide had cried and apologized ceaselessly in his dream, he woke up with a smile. After all, he'd gotten to see Kaneki even if it was only a nightmare.

Clinging to that bit of good, Hide decided today was a better day. Meaning he actually decided to venture outside for sunlight and sustenance. He took Kaneki along with him of course, not minding the stares in the slightest. Whether they were staring because of his disheveled appearance or his unusual companion, he didn't know. Either way, he didn't mind the stares, but he worried for Kaneki. His friend had always been one to shrink at too much attention. Hide found himself staring at the urn and thinking that if his friend shrunk anymore, he'd disappear. The thought made him grip the urn a little more tightly.

But today was a good day he had to remind himself. He plopped himself down on a bench, settling his tagalong down beside him. He tried to people watch like he used to, observing people and pondering what they were like beyond their public masks. But after a while of his attention continuously wandering, he gave up.

He thought about going back and holing himself up again, but he really didn't have the energy to drag himself off the bench. Besides, he reasoned, it's not like the weather is terrible. It was a bit too sunny and breezy, but Hide didn't really mind.

With a sigh, he switched his gaze towards the sky to idly cloud watch. He'd comment every once in a while when he saw a peculiar one, but he was growing a bit discouraged by the lack of response he was receiving. Not that this was Kaneki's fault of course.

His eyes tracked a cluster of clouds as they trekked across the sky and suddenly he was staring directly into the sun. Even as he felt his eyes burn with tears, he kept up his staring contest. It was probably bad for his eyes, he reasoned, recalling all the times adults had nagged him to be wary of the sun.

But at this point, he didn't really care. Let him go blind. It wasn't like there was anyone around he cared to see.

That was his problem these days. He couldn't bring himself to care for anything. He could feel himself fading further away. He didn't know where he was going, but he could feel himself leaving.

'Stop that,' he lightly scolded himself for being so melodramatic and pessimistic, 'What would Kaneki say?"

"NO! Don't go! Come back!" he heard Kaneki desperately yell.

Hide chuckled. Yeah, his best friend would say something like that.

"My report! Shit, I need to turn that in!" he heard him yell again.

Hide frowned lightly. That wasn't…something his dear departed best friend would say. At least not something Hide would imagine him saying. But if he didn't imagine that voice then…

Brain fuzzy with confusion, he slowly tore his damaged eyes from its one way contest only to-

Only to be smacked in the face with a rogue piece of paper.

"What the hell…" Hide mumbled.

"Ah," he heard someone gasp, "I'm so sorry! So sorry, sir! The wind! It just tore it right out of my hand! Goodness, I'm so sorry!"

Feeling like he'd finally lost his mind, Hide willed his suddenly numb body to move. To take off his impromptu, paper blindfold. And to look upon-

"Kaneki."

The stranger blinked at him in confusion. So again, Hide repeated himself.

"Kaneki!"

And again.

"KANEKI."

By this point, he was scaring the poor guy. But the moment he saw the guy try to take a step back, try to leave him alone again, Hide's body acted on its own. And suddenly, he was latched onto the unfortunate stranger and crying all over him.

"Kanekiiii," he blubbered, "Thought you were dead, man! Missed you sooo much, Kanekiii!"

Kaneki was trying to say something, but his stuttering couldn't be heard over Hide's loud, relieved sobbing.

"Rabbits die of loneliness!" he reminded, before vowing, "Never let you go again!"

Seeming to relent, Kaneki gave a few awkward pats to Hide's trembling back, letting him just cry it all out. Unfortunately, Hide had lots of emotions to cry out.

But his year of inactivity was catching up to him, as he grew weaker and ended up having to cling to Kaneki as his body gave up on him. Luckily, Kaneki seemed to have no such problem supporting both of their weights. Gently prying Hide off, he lowered the emotional man to the bench he'd been sitting on before he'd attempted to hug-tackle him.

"Um I'm sorry, sir, but you see…" he coughed nervously, as the seated man's eyes locked onto him, "But I'm not Kaneki."

This took a while to compute to Hide, but luckily this man who claimed to not be Kaneki was just as patient as the man he claimed not to be. With disbelieving eyes, he trailed the man's form before him.

Sure, his hair was different, but it had been different the last time he'd seen him too. It looked like his black hair was growing in over the white, which had to be a good sign. His finger nails were also back to a healthy shade. And maybe he'd also started dressing in more professionally stylish clothes.

'Pinstripe pants?' he thought in a stupor.

But other than that, there was no denying this was his best friend. "You're not Kaneki?" he asked for clarification.

"I'm not Kaneki," the man reaffirmed. He gave a polite smile and offered his hand for a shake, "I'm Sasaki Haise."

Hide took his hand, but didn't shake it or let it go, even when Haise started to look uncomfortable.

Hide really couldn't understand what had happened to make his friend assume another identity, but he was sure it was Kaneki's hand he was holding.

'Memory loss? Brainwashing?' he pondered, his other hand coming up to join his other and hug the one he'd captured. 'Either way, I'll give him back his memories. Or I'll give him plenty of new ones.'

"I'm Hide and you're Kaneki," he introduced them both with a renewed determination, "We're best friends."

Haise's eyes darted away nervously from the intensity of Hide's, only to finally spot the urn. Upon reading the name, his eyes softened with sympathy. 'Kaneki Ken, huh? So he was talking about that Kaneki. And this must be his best friend?'

The dual-haired man seemed to wilt, sitting next to the distraught man who was still clinging to his hand as if afraid to lose him. Haise felt like they should both be sitting for what he was about to say, "I'm sorry, but I really am not Kaneki. At least, not in the same sense."

Hide could understand that was partially true, but he still chose to stubbornly repeat himself, "Trust me, you're definitely Kaneki Ken."

"I'm sorry," Haise repeated, seeming pained to do so, "That's just not possible. You see, I'm not human. I'm a – "

"A ghoul? A monster? I don't care about that, man," Hide waved off his friend's concerns, flashing a nostalgic smile, "You're still my best friend."

Haise, caught off guard by the absolute love and acceptance beaming from that smile, found himself stuttering through his denials. "Oh no, I'm not a – well, I guess in a way – but that's not what I meant."

"Hide-san," he sighed, his free hand coming to rest on the dogpile of hands. His grey eyes grew somber as he leveled him with a serious gaze. "I'm not Kaneki Ken, because…"

"I'm his clone."

A/N: And oops there it is~ Sorry to leave it there, but I'll try to update soon :')

So what did you think? Any faves, follows and/or reviews will be much loved and appreciated, so please let me know. Even a simple ":(" or ":)" will make my day~

This is also posted under my pen name TheLovers on A03. I'm saying that just in case you saw it there too and were about to attack me for the sake of me. I mean, if you still want to attack me on my behalf, go ahead. Kick my ass for me. You go bae, I'll hold your flower.

Anyways, thank you for reading this! I hope you enjoyed it and that you have a wonderful day!

~Dotti3