Title: Quiet Me ~ EdRoy
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood/manga
Author: Batsutousai
Rating: Teen
Pairings: Edward Elric/Roy Mustang
Warnings: Ed's potty mouth, threats of violence, established relationship
Summary: "Just because you're a little kid doesn't mean you shouldn't watch where you're going!"

Disclaim Her: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by Arakawa Hiromu and various publishers. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

A/N: From a list of (drabble) prompts on tumblr, both airilymusing and an anonymous user requested "Quiet Me" Ed/Roy.
Rather than trying to write two quiet me fics, I went ahead and just combined them. Sorry, not sorry?

Posting for 520/RoyEd Day, because that's half the reason I went asking for prompts.

-0-

"What did you just call me?!"

Roy closed his eyes and resisted the urge to start laughing, because previous experience said that very much wouldn't help the situation.

"I called you a little kid," the man who had just run into Edward said, his tone haughty.

Roy debated the ethics of just letting Edward knock the man down a peg or two for about half a second, before remembering he'd have to deal with the fallout.

"I'm going to 'little' your–"

Roy opened his eyes just in time to reach out and catch Edward's wrist before he could punch the man in the face. "You might want to leave," he suggested the the man, whose eyes had gone wide, as though he hadn't really realised what sort of demon he'd just unleashed until it had actually made a swipe at him. Which wasn't an unusual response to Edward, and Roy sometimes wondered if Alphonse's jokes about a warning sign shouldn't be taken a bit more seriously.

The man fled.

Edward swung his free fist at Roy, his eyes blazing as he snarled, "The fuck'd you do that for, you fuckin' bastard."

Roy ducked the swing, then used his grip on Edward's wrist to pull him in close enough that he could duck down and press a kiss to Edward's nose. Because he'd learnt long before they'd started dating that trying to talk Edward down would just make him angrier.

Edward let out an irritated noise and landed a rather pointed but extremely gentle – for him – punch to Roy's side. "Bastard," he muttered.

"You promised no incidents on date night," Roy reminded him.

"He called me little," Edward reminded him, scowling at Roy's collarbone, as though it were the one at fault.

Roy very firmly kept any hint of his amusement hidden. "I'm sorry. Should I start informing everyone I meet exactly how not small you are?"

Edward flushed and lifted his head to glare at Roy properly. "You're such a fucking bastard."

Roy allowed a smile at that, because Edward's tone had eased into something a little less inclined to murdering unsuspecting bystanders. "I'll buy you dinner to make up for it?"

"You always buy dinner," Edward pointed out, eyes gone narrow with suspicion.

"I have a lot to make up for," Roy replied, couched like a joke, but so serious it hurt, sometimes.

Edward's expression cleared. "Damn straight," he agreed, tone matching Roy's, because he knew. "Speaking of food, though..."

"You're a bottomless pit," Roy muttered, loosening his grip on Edward's wrist, so Edward could slip his hand through Roy's and then fold their hands together, the move easy and familiar.

"Shouldn't have offered to pay," Edward returned with that shit-eating grin that warned of explosions and massive piles of paperwork on Roy's desk in the morning.

Roy just sighed and pulled Edward's hand up to kiss the back of it, inwardly delighting at the way pink brushed out over Edward's cheeks each time he did so. "Yes," he said, utterly deadpan, "that was my mistake."

Edward laughed at him, eyes bright and the previous incident completely forgotten.

Roy didn't bother with a sigh of relief; the calm never lasted long with Edward.

.