Hi everyone, I'm back along with the new chapter of the story. Finally, after four months this (tearjerker) story has finally got a new update, I hope your interest with the story hasn't cool down yet. Anyway, I'm sorry for the inconvience, life sure gives you some moments that you could never expect.

whwsms: In a battle or a normal converstation, never lower your guard down with the Kami-yan disease. You don't know how much contagiousness (and dangerous) the disease could get. If only the you-know-who could accept it and unleash its full potential.

wildarms13: Your guess is close enough, that small note he is using is a diary for many purposes. But for now, it would be mainly for recording the events of the day and reminding himself of what to do, the rest will be filled in as the story progress to some points. Knowing him, he might not have been the type to do something like this and yet he still did, it sure raises up a few questions.

Alright, that would be enough for my words. Well then, has everyone aboard the feel train yet? Let the trip continue.

Enjoy~.

Disclaimer: I don't own To Aru Majutsu no Index.

Chapter 5: A_Sorrowful_Tear (2)

"…."

The rain was still falling, heavy as it has always been ever since the unexpected tragedy occurred a few days back.

In a cemetery located in District 10, between the mixture of the roaring sound of lighting and the never ending splattering sounds of water hitting against the earth, the mourning and sorrowful cries echoed in the dreadful atmosphere.

Standing far away from a funeral, under one of the trees, was a figure of a young girl with short brown hair. Her eyes, which had so little emotion from the day she was given the serial number #10032, now lost all the catch light and become even more expressionless than before.

She stood there, all alone with an umbrella held in one hand and a black kitten lying in the other arm as she let the image of the coffin of a certain spiky haired boy embed deep into her eyes.

"…nyan…"

One small meow of the kitten was let out, it reached her ears but the girl still kept her gaze at the funeral. It wasn't enough to break the line of thoughts circulating in her mind.

Misaka Imouto watched as people moved from their spots and went to the coffin in turn to bid their last farewell to the unfortunate boy.

Due to her circumstance for being one of the "sisters", she couldn't go there and reveal herself to the public.

Even when things has turned out like this, she just couldn't find a suitable way to get near that place, near him.

The umbrella above her head gently shook, ever so slightly as her grip on it tightened.

How much she wanted to go there to do the same thing for the boy.

How much she wanted to see his face from up close one more time before it remains as a memory buried behind a thick layer of pictures.

How much she wanted to think that….all of this sight before her very eyes was just an illusion, a nightmare.

The kitten let out another meow, digging, rubbing its head into Misaka's Tokiwadai uniform when a cold breeze flew past both of them. Noticing the chilling coldness was getting to the cat, Misaka looked down at her pet and brought it closer to her, hugging it with her arm, letting the warm of her body protects the shivering kitten from the fury of nature.

The former clone then shifted her eyes back to the funeral. As she stared in silence, a few individuals from the gathering crowd began to leave the funeral and made their way back to the entrance of the cemetery. Probably because they had said everything they need to the boy who seemed to never wake up from his deep slumber again.

At one point, in the corner of her eyes, two silhouettes suddenly showed up in the heavy rain with an umbrella also above their heads to cover themselves from being soaked.

The girl quickly recognized one of them.

….onee-sama...

The Railgun and her roommate have arrived at the funeral of the boy. With one hand holding the umbrella, the pig tails level 4 teleporter's other hand grabbed hold of Mikoto's right wrist and slowly led the girl to toward their seat. While taking each step to follow her friend, Mikoto slightly stumbled on her feet a few time as she walked there with Kuroko.

The girl must still had been really shocked by all of this.

Still showing no trait of feeling on her icy expression, Misaka #10032 watched the two.

And…..

In that brief moment of observation, she saw it, the small trail of tears that glided down from the Railgun's teary eyes.

It has been a few days from when the boy was found in that horrible state. Yet, even now…..

Those tears of her still won't dry.

….onee-sama…..she is still crying…..

Like her, Imouto could hardly accept what was happening before her very eyes. But even though she had tried to deny, turning away from this "nightmare" many time, nothing will ever change.

Accept or not, reality will stay this way.

It was awfully unbearable.

Before the two finally blended into the crowd, the young sister's emotionless eyes flicked as she saw her older sister stood dead in track when she looked at the coffin of the spiky haired boy.

Her body trembled.

Her leg shook slightly and weakened as if she was about to collapse.

Mikoto covered her mouth as tear continued to stream down her wet cheek. While the image of that paled face reflected in her eyes, the chestnut haired girl couldn't take a step forward.

Upon watching, through a quick glance, one could see that so much emotions were swelling up inside the poor girl.

Noticing the reaction from Mikoto, the tawny haired teleporter took out a handkerchief from her pocket and gently helped wiping the tears on her onee-sama's cheek. The level 5 then gathered herself to gain back the strength in her leg. The two continued to walk into the crowd, to their seating place, trying to support on each other for the sudden lost.

Even from this distance, Misaka #10032 could clearly see the feeling that enveloped the two.

They look so vulnerable.

And….

…..ah…

Seeing such a heartbreak sigh, the short brown haired girl began closing her eyes, blinking several time when there was a sudden changed within her vision.

Why the view becomes so blurry?

Lowering the umbrella to her shoulder, the girl rubbed her eyes with her free hand. Little surprise that was showed in her lifeless iris as she saw a tiny stained on her sleeve.

There was something wet in her eyes.

Was this tear, she wondered.

Raising up the umbrella again, Misaka Imouto paid no more attention to it and moved her focus back on to the funeral happened in a far distance.

With one last look taking at the sight and the face of that boy, the former clone then turned around and silently made her way back to the entrance of the cemetery.

Waters rumbled on top her umbrella while the girl kept walking along with the small kitten that lied comfortably in her arm.

However, she halted her steps as the gate was right in front of her and looked down at the ground.

Now…

What will she do next after knowing that boy is no longer around?

Where should she need to go next now that she had taken one last look at his face and left his funeral?

What else can she do with this life now when it has become…less meaningful?

Misaka Imouto glanced down at the small kitten huddling itself further in her arm due to the cold rain. Her soft lip slightly moved but no voice escaped from the forming small gap.

It was wordless, the girl was thinking about something.

"….."

After a moment of pondering in silence, the girl began to move her feet and walked pass the gate. Her lifeless gaze scanned through millions of water crystals bead for direction.

Clearing the thoughts, the short brown haired girl continued her way to a location that appeared in her mind.

A location that marked the last moment of the meeting between Misaka Imouto and the boy named Kamijou Touma, the last time that she can still see the thinly small yet heartfelt smile he put on his face when he looked at her and talked to her.

A location that was also….filled with a painful experience whenever she, along with those whom the boy had set foot into their life, thought about it.

Misaka #10032 took a deep breath and shook her head, trying to discard this tingling pain in her chest.

Although this was just a random thought, she couldn't think of anything else to do beside from this.

There was no other way….

Still, she has to force herself to "accept" this cruel moment of life.

At this point, the life of Misaka #10032 has become meaningless.

Still, she needed to face, to embrace this horrible truth.

And moreover…

She will have to think of another way to get over this predicament.

But what else can she do?

This wrenching pain in her, no matter how hard she tried to suppress it, it just kept coming back and stayed there, waiting, seeking for a change to burst.

Her vision just kept getting blurrier and harder to see, perhaps this umbrella in her hand wasn't enough to cover her entirely from the strong, cold breeze of the weather.

And…

Since the former clone has no longer considered about the decision of shutting down her own life.

After this…..

What is there for her to look forward to when this moment pass?

Realizing the way the way her thought were turning into, Misaka #10032 quietly shook her head one more time and kept on moving.

….

….

….

A day ago…..

Inside the small room of a hospital located in District 7…..

A man with a face that somewhat resembled to a frog widened his eyes in bewilderment while he listened to a bizarre request from the person who was standing before him, bowing their head down.

"...are you sure about this?"

Heaven Canceller asked that person again with worry and anxious mixed in his voice, he wanted to confirm if he just heard right what that person said.

That person nodded, which made the doctor slightly frowned in response, deepened the troubled look that had already visible on his face. The old doctor didn't seem to expect this kind of situation would occur and he also didn't like where the conversation was going.

"I understand why you came to this solution but this is a serious matter." He sighed, the chair the man was sitting on creaked a little."It's your life we're talking about here, have you really thought this through?"

Giving another question in hope for a quick change of mind, Heaven Canceller seemed to try to persuade the girl who stood in front of him.

However, those words didn't seem to affect the short brown haired girl. The answer was still the same, her resolution won't waver so simply.

"Yes, Misaka says as she bows again to show the doctor her determination."

"But what about-"

"Misaka knows what the doctor wants to say. But there is no more reason for Misaka to stay here since the boy is no longer around."

"But that is just…" Heaven Canceller wanted to retort back but a moment of hesitation in choosing the next word of the frog-faced doctor had let Misaka #10032 interrupt him.

"Misaka has already made her decision and she won't take it back, that boy is the reason Misaka Sisters are still alive to this day. Thanks to him and onee-sama, we were able to enjoy this life."

Heaven Canceller blinked at her, his pair of eyes, which filled with many experiences he himself has gained throughout his life in saving people from the brink of death, looked straight into the brown pair of Misaka Imouto.

It was so lifeless, so empty, completely devoid of any feeling.

Without the catch light, the girl's eyes looked even more emotionless than before.

But that wasn't all, there was another change in her that caught his attention.

…they were able to enjoy this life….

Were…?

Past tense?

Did this mean this young girl in front of him and the remaining sisters are no longer carrying the will to live on because of what had happened with the boy?

Did they find this reality right now is filled with so much pain that they could not accept it and came up with this heartbreak solution?

A moment of silence enveloped the small room. Behind the old doctor, the window frame lightly shook as a strong wind hit it, pressing it with so little an impact that it can only manage to create.

Aside from the advancing yet blurred light above the ceiling, within a few seconds, another bright light came from outside the window brightened the whole room. Lightings struck down from the dark horizon alongside with many heavy water drops.

Ever since that event occurred in the past few days, the weather had become like this and it didn't seem to stop any time soon.

"….."

Breaking eye contact from Misaka #10032, the frog-faced doctor shifted his view back at the documents lying on his work desk while the short brown haired girl looked down at her feet, bangs covered nearly half of her expressionless face.

The girl continued, her voice was deeper than the usual monotone.

"If he is….gone…..then Misaka can't think of any others reason to continue on with this life. Onee-sama has cried a lot ever since she heard of his predicament." A hand placed on her chest, gripping the pendant as she looked up." The Savior is the whole world to all of us. Without him, there's no meaning in pursuing this human life any further, it feels so empty. Even now, this beating heart inside Misaka is still aching so much from that emptiness."

"…."

"That is why….Misaka begs you, please put Misaka to sleep, a very deep slumber that her conscious mind won't have to wake up from, says Misaka as she once again bows her head, hoping the doctor to fulfill her selfish wish."

"…."

The frog-faced doctor remained silent at the request, he exhaled deeply then turned his head back to the bowing short brown haired girl.

"…..your sisters…."

"…..?"

"Are they having the same thought as you right now?"

"….yes…" She nodded lightly."Currently, most of the Misaka Sisters are sharing the same decision. However, since the Network is needed to perform calculation by that person, the Administrator of the Network has been against this decision of ours. As a result, some of us are still hesitating to accept what the majority had agreed upon at the moment due to the situation of that person, Misaka replies truthfully."

"….."

"But….."

"….?"

"But even if that is the case, Misaka…this Misaka would prefer to keep her decision." The short brown haired girl wasn't finished and this time, she was referring to herself directly.

The pendant before her chest sparkled a bright light of thunder as another one struck down from the dark sky outside the window. Misaka Imouto gently held it up, the small heart shape accessory reflected in her emotionless yet visibly downcast eyes.

"That boy had stepped into Misaka and onee-sama's life, he saved us all and we had decided to protect his dream altogether after that. Without him on this Earth, it is very unpleasant, very meaningless if Misaka's life filled with nothing but her memories of him."

"…I see…."

The conversation stopped.

The atmosphere grew cold, even though the air conditioner had been switched to warm mode.

It was chilling to think about the choice the sisters had made.

Heaven Canceller closed his eyes and leaned his back on the chair.

Despair.

The kind of emotion that could easily pushed an individual over the edge of the abyss.

The kind of feeling that could sometime drive every mind into an unsettling, narrowed way of thinking.

If a person has already felt this emotion swelling up inside them, a small influence from any type of negative event or factor from the outside next can truly make them turn their back on the safe coastline instead of the deep dark abyss that once you take a step forward, you will forever sink into the deep of the eternal darkness with that final single step.

It was this emotion.

It was because of this type of feeling that they had become this way.

Considering how things had turned out in these recent days. Perhaps, it was alright for them to feel like this.

…..but…..

But was it all right for them to no longer choose to continue to walk on the path, to live with the meaningful life that the boy had showed them?

"…"

…..then again…..

If the loss of that boy had made them think and came up with this anguish choice.

Then….perhaps…

To them…..to the Misaka Sisters, that spiky haired boy is…..

…..he must had meant a lot to them...

A thin smile formed on the old frog-faced doctor, it was somewhat happy and sad at the same time yet also simple and less broad than a normal one. The expression was somewhere in between but bittersweet perhaps didn't really make itself the best word to describe his expression.

An understanding smile.

Kamijou Touma, the boy who suddenly moved on and parted from this world, had left behind a deep impression to those who connected to him.

Now, without him around, those impressions are still there but shattered and tainted with tears along with the memories of his time with them.

It affected them so greatly to the point that this unexpected course of event has driven some of them to this circumstance.

However, when looking at a different aspect, this very fact also proves how precious that boy is to them.

…he really is important to them…..

The doctor known as Heaven Canceller then slowly opened his eyes and looked at Misaka Imouto who was waiting for his response. At this moment, he saw her hands was trembling slightly.

Then he noticed more, Misaka #10032's arm, feet and body was shaking so weakly that one can hardly see with just a brief glance.

Did the young girl feel nervous by the very decision that she and her sisters had made up their mind and chose?

By any chance, if the answer from him is yes, she, along with the remaining 9969 clones will be put into a very deep hibernation that their subconscious mind would forever accompanied with the darkness and never saw the day light again just as they have wished. Did that kind of scenario is playing inside her head and is the cause of such reaction?

No…..

Since her emotion had been suppressed, was it possible for her to be able to display such reaction through her body language asides from the usual blank expression and monotone voice?

If so…then…..

Heaven Canceller leaned back on his chair once more with a creaking sound. The answer came…

"Even so, I can't do that."

Misaka #10032 widened her emotionless eyes at the response, words slowly slipped from her soft lip.

"Why? Misaka asks you…"

"It's because of Kamijou-kun."

Another small reaction came from the girl as she began looking up to the frog-faced doctor at the mentioning of the boy's name.

"I know what kind of person that boy is, he was a regular patient of this hospital after all. The nurses and the doctors who work here are all familiar with him." The doctor brought a hand to his chin, thinking again about his statement."….hmm….no, perhaps it would be more right to say that we all know that boy too well."

"….."

"And knowing him, I'm sure he would never want this to happen. That boy is your savior, isn't he? He and your sister have tried their best to create a new path in your life so you and the remaining sisters could walk on that path and live like a normal human being. And now, you yourself are still standing here because of that very same reason, is it not?"

"…..Misaka…"

The short brown haired girl muttered quietly, she wanted to say something but unable to as those words circulated in her mind seemed to stuck in her throat.

No, that's not it.

She knew she couldn't retort back to what the doctor said, a part of herself also didn't want to.

It's is….

The doctor was right.

The reason she can still stand here was because of the effort of that spiky haired boy and her onee-sama. If their didn't intervene the event happened on that day, she, the Misaka Sister with the serial number #10032, would have been cease to exist till this day.

While thinking back on that moment and letting those words from the doctor ran through her mind, Misaka Imouto once again diverted her expressionless gaze at the floor, remaining silent in the progress.

Seeing how his words from earlier had an impact on the girl, Heaven Canceller continued in a soft, caring tone.

"Moreover, as a doctor, my job is to help people and look after them, not the other way around. Among the rules which define the duty that I am carrying on my shoulder, there is an oath that we all share in our own community."

The frog-faced doctor then brought up his hand and pointed at his left chest, which was where the heart laid, with his thumb.

"To the best of his/her abilities, a doctor must put all their skills into helping their patients and tread them with care like it is a matter between life and death of themselves. As a person who works in the medical field, I myself value that oath deeply to the bottom of my heart. With all my abilities, I can only help my patient to get better with their recovery so they can continue to keep going on their own "path" instead of harming them."

"…"

"So, not only because of Kamijou-kun, it's also because I am a doctor that I can't fulfill that request of yours, I can't afford to help you to shut down your own mind and leave you while you stumble on your path like that. I'm sorry, I just can't do something like that to my patient."

Misaka #10032 weakly moved her head, nodding at the doctor. Heaven Canceller looked at the girl for a moment then he left out a small sigh, the thin smile on his face slow faded away.

"And also….I'm sorry I can't bring him back to all of you."

"….eh…?"

All of you…

Misaka Imouto somehow felt that word alone didn't really aim at her and the sisters. The apology of the frog-faced doctor must had seemed to be directed at not just them.

It was directed to everyone who knew that unfortunate spiky haired boy.

"Even with the title Heaven Canceller I received from those who were once under my care, there is always a limit to my abilities." The frog-faced doctor brought up his hands and gazed down at its palm."Just like any normal doctor, I can't save someone who has already passed away. Sometime, working in this field is like charging into a fierce battlefield, each time performing surgery is each time you race through a battle with the odd of 50/50 is that either you may unexpectedly get hit by a stray bullet or you eventually make it out alive."

Turning his view back to the documents scattered on the desk, with a creaking sound, the chair Heaven Canceller was sitting on moved close to it and the frog-faced doctor began flipping through pages as he picked out a profile lying underneath one of the documents.

"During the whole time while working in this city of science, my experience has helped me to never stumble across such a boundary and thanks to that, I has successfully saved many patients and made it out alive from my own battlefield."

"….."

The flipping sound halted, it was no longer repeating the moment Heaven Canceller stopped moving his hand.

"….that is…until that morning came….." The doctor spoke to a halt while looking at an image in the file."When the nurses informed me about the boy's unfortunate circumstance and he had been sent here, I rushed to him to check his condition, thinking that maybe he was involved with another accident and just got himself some bruises and injuries like usual."

The picture of Kamijou Touma, which was copied from his student ID card, fitted neatly at one corner of the page in his patient record. Right under the boy's info was a long list of history, the dates when the boy visited or was transported to this hospital to seek treatment were displayed.

The detail was trivial and short but some of the reasons for being hospitalized of the boy could give quite a chilling feeling to the person who read his record.

Brain damage, broken bones, severed arm, loss of blood, etc.

Upon reading, anyone would think that the boy was extremely endurable. But a single last line of that long list had marked the end of that thought.

The frog-faced doctor continued.

"But on the contrary to my thought, by the time I arrived there, I realized that everything was worse than I could imagine. I had never expected to see Kamijou-kun in such a critical state…no, at that time, it couldn't be called critical anymore." The doctor slightly narrowed his eyes as if a sour flavor was flowing in his mouth."They said that his heart has already stopped beating when his body was found, that boy has already passed away even before the ambulance took him to this hospital. I believed so too when I tried to feel his pulse."

The sensation lingered around the boy's lifeless form on that morning, Heaven Canceller still remembered it very clearly upon touching his skin.

It was dreadfully ice cold. Moreover, the frostbitten mark that spread from the wrist to the entire hand added another heavy mental blow to any person who saw it.

"At that very moment, I saw myself stumbled on the line that I have never stepped on before. The odd of saving that boy wasn't a 50/50 anymore, the chance was lower than that. It was slim, too slim for a miracle to happen even if such a thing does exists in this kind of city."

Misaka #10032 looked down at the ground, the girl felt something in her chest started aching as she heard him but still listening carefully.

If a person's heart has stopped beating for a day, then there is no chance to save them.

If the odd of a person to survive with many fatal wounds on their body is a 1/100, then there is no hope of trying to take them back from the reaper's grasp.

So…

Since Kamijou's case was the combination of both "if", in the end, nothing could be done to bring him back.

"Reviving his heart in such a state is impossible….it would be meaningless to send him into the emergency room."

"…."

But even so….

"Yet…even so, despite the circumstance, I still did that. Do you know why?"

"…?!"

Misaka Imouto raised her head up, her emotionless, blank pair of eyes slowly widened in wonder as the question intrigued her.

There was no point in saving that boy since he had been in such a horrible state, but the doctor known as Heaven Canceller was still willing to try his best to revive the boy's dead heart despite knowing his action was entirely useless.

Why is that?

"Perhaps, it maybe because of my age that I start seeing things. But in all those years of working here, I know my eyes will never deceive me. Saying this might be really strange, it's not even making much sense in the least but….." The doctor rubbed his chin and looked up the ceiling as he recalled."The true is…..while I was checking his body condition….."

"….."

"At one point, I thought I saw his right hand was twitching slightly."

Misaka Imouto was confused at his words.

Something as bizarre as that, did it really happen?

It was hard to believe…

"Such a story, anyone who heard that would find it hard to believe. Everything surrounds that piece of fantasy is truly a mystery, it caught me surprised a few time."

The short brown haired girl was starting to become more confused as she didn't really understand the way Heaven Canceller referred to a certain mysterious power that resided within the right hand of that boy.

"After witnessed such a sight, I quickly sent Kamijou-kun's body to the emergency room for an immediate surgery, in hope that something may happen. When a heart stops beating, every part of the body will cease functioning. Normally, that right hand was not supposed to move or even has the strength or the force to twitch the fingers."

"…"

"And yet it did, so what did that mean?"

Although Heaven Canceller saw it as an unexplainable thing that stood outside the border of this world and the knowledge which can only be explained by science, it was still a part of the spiky haired boy.

This fact itself is undeniable.

And knowing it somehow still able to "function" and twitch, a single ray of hope rose up in the frog-faced doctor.

"I thought the surgery might cause something to happen if I try to revive his heart."

He tried…..

But in the end, the surgery wasn't able to change anything.

Nothing had happened, the outcome was still the same.

The window frame shook again as another strong gust of wind hit against it thick glass. Silence took hold the room once the doctor finished.

Misaka Imouto did not know what to say and remained still.

Heaven Canceller then closed the document and placed it back on his desk, he inhaled deeply.

"In my entire career, I never thought there would be a moment I want a miracle to happen in one of my patient's surgery. It made me wonder if I was really that desperate."

Standing up from his seat, the medical genius frog-faced doctor approached the window, which frame was still emitting those rumbling sound continuously. Both hands behind his back, the doctor stood straight as he watched the rampage of the bad weather.

His words continued.

"Or was it the desperation at time that was the cause of making me see such an illusion about the right hand of that boy."

Illusion…..

Whether it was real or not.

The doctor wasn't even sure himself, he couldn't really tell what he had seen on that morning was true or just simply an illusion filled his vision due to his desperation of trying to bring that boy back from the other side of the Sanzu river.

He didn't have anything to clarify or back up for what he just spoke out. But he still told this to a young girl in despair.

Perhaps, there was more to the story than it seemed. There was something else that Heaven Canceller wanted to tell Misaka #10032 through this story of his.

As the two stood there, letting silence filled the room once more, several knocking sounds echoed from the door behind Misaka Imouto. It opened as another person outside pushed the metallic slide door to the side and walked in.

That person was another young girl with short brown haired, the Tokiwadai uniform she was wearing could be seen soaked wet at several places.

"Nyan~."

In her arms, lied a black kitten who was quickly let out a soft meow at one of its caretakers as two pair of emotionless eyes met.

"#10909."

The frog-faced doctor turned around to look at the new comer once he heard the name, blinking in surprise.

"Oh, if I recall correctly, your checkup is supposed to be in this afternoon."

"Yes, it is, replies Misaka."The Misaka with the serial number #10909 spoke with a polite nod."According to the schedule, Misaka should be here in the next 3 hours for you to perform the regular physical examination. There's still a few time left before the meeting arrangement with the doctor."

That emotionless gaze of her changed as she faced forward and casted it on her sister, despite her words kept directing at Heaven Canceller.

"However, this Misaka is not here because of that, she's here for a different reason, says Misaka as she informs the doctor."

#10909 approached Imouto when she finished her speech, the little kitten in her arms reached out its paw toward #10032 as if wanting to get back to its owner as the two sisters stood close. But the latter didn't seem to pay any mind to that while her emotionless eyes reflected a hint of surprise at another clone's unexpected arrival.

"Misaka wishes to talk to you."

"?"

Before Imouto could even speak up, #10909 continued.

"Misaka knows that she could have communicated with you via the Misaka Network at any time instead of going all the way here. But as she has stated earlier, this Misaka is here for a reason and she wants to convey it to you directly. A face to face conversation would be the best choice for her to make her words clear."

From the way the girl put it, whatever it was, this "reason" must had been really important. Heaven Canceller and Misaka Imouto couldn't help but stood there in silence, wanting to hear her words as #10909 equal monotone carried a big weight behind it.

Hugging the small kitten closer to her chest while those pair of emotionless eyes was casted down to her feet, #10909's lip moved.

"Misaka wishes to live."

"?!"

"Because of this event, the aching sensation inside ours body won't go away despite so many time we tried to make it so. It is very unpleasant yet we have no other option but to acknowledge this, ignoring and rejecting the pain won't lead us, the Sisters, to anywhere."

True.

It has never been easy for them and for those who knew about the fate of that boy, facing it was the only way to help them overcome this tragedy. But what will be left for them now that they has lost one of the most important parts of the purpose of their existence?

What else can they see in the world now contained nothing but a dark, gloomy future for the Sisters and the Original?

The "light" which shined the path they walks has gone, it became pitch black and broken. What more reason could they have to keep on moving in that total blackness?

Having no road to continue, no light to lead the way, it was no different than meeting a dead end in life. Even for someone who had their emotion suppressed to a minimum, the feeling was indeed more than what a person can take.

"Even though it's unbearable and difficult to handle this dreadful feeling, Misaka still want to keep on living this life that her onee-sama and that boy had spent so much effort to show us on that night. She hates to throw it all away, therefore, she couldn't find herself to accept the decision that you and the rest of the unit have come up with. Forever shutting down our consciousness and living like a lifeless vessel, it feels so sad and painful to be in such a state, Misaka doesn't want that."

"….but we failed our reason for living this life, aren't we, #10909? That boy is gone and onee-sama is in pain. There is nothing else we can do to make her feel better, there is nothing else in this life that's worth for us to pursuit further...….."

At #10032's respond, #10909 outstretched both arms with the black kitten now held in between her hands toward #10032, handling him to her sister. Noticing this, Misaka Imouto hesitantly let out her palms for her pet to jump in. The cat seemed delighted and curled up cutely with his head rubbing against the girl's brown vest.

"It feels empty, Misaka understands your feeling. However, if the Misaka Sisters decide to end our life right here, what will onee-sama think about this when she found out that we, her little sisters, have given up the will to live?"

"…"

"Who else will comfort onee-sama if her friends and everyone around her is having the same lost as her?"

"…."

#10909 pointed a finger at the black kitten.

"And who else will play with Dog if we aren't there to look after him? Wouldn't it be too cruel to selfishly abandon him and leave onee-sama behind like that?"

Another question was spoke yet silence struck the room as Misaka #10032 couldn't find any word to reply back. They all hit in the right spot, it made a lot of sense.

While Imouto was looking down at the kitten with her mind lost in deep thought by those words, Misaka #10909 took a step closer to her until their distance was merely an arm's length away from each other.

Having caught attention by the girl's shadow which entered her view, Misaka #10032 slowly faced forward and the pair of emotionless gazes met once more.

"This aching sensation here….." The little sister with the serial number 10909 brought a hand to her chest as she spoke in the usual monotone but soft."…is what everyone in the Network is experienced. As a person who also has her emotion being suppressed due to experimenting purpose, Misaka is still having some troubles in understanding what these feelings truly mean. She couldn't grasp it full meaning like a normal human being yet."

The hand started to form into a fist, gripping the Tokiwadai uniform tightly.

"But there is one thing that she knows about this feeling. Just as we all feel it, it's hurt, it's empty. It's a wrenching pain that we must endure when we lost something important in our life. This…..is a heartbreak….or how they call it, Misaka presumes."

Heaven Canceller raised his eyebrows at the two girls as somewhere in that conversation had caught his attention and a thought silently formed in his head.

Never seem to mind the observed gaze the doctor was giving, #10909 pressed on.

"For a single emotion to be this hard to bear, even every units in the Misaka Network could not handle it well. Yet unlike us, onee-sama doesn't have any restriction in displaying her emotional feeling, she could convey it and understand it easily, more than we could. Such a negative emotion like that to cause havoc inside your mind and body. How do you think onee-sama will react if she knows about this? Asks Misaka in hope her words would make you and the other units to reconsider this matter."

The answer was obvious.

Misaka Imouto knew, she knew that this solution would cause more pain to the Original. In this moment, they all were suffered the same lost.

This lost brought despair to them.

This lost was more than they could take, even for those whom emotion was not opened to a standard extent like a normal person.

So what would happen if more pain was added to someone who was already on the verge of despair, broken-hearted like Misaka Mikoto?

If this happens…

If they really give up this life….

"Onee-sama will have a mental breakdown…"

It would only make things worse.

"…..yes, that would likely be the case. Knowing onee-sama, that is what will happen to her if the Sisters still selfishly decide to let go of this life. This situation has become too much for onee-sama to bear….."

"….so are we….." Imouto added in with a weak voice.

Was this the right choice?

That question began to form inside Misaka #10032's mind and as a result, it was processed and sent straight into the Network.

The Misaka Sisters who had agreed with the decision to be shut down their conscious mind started to wonder about their choice, asking themselves whether it was right or wrong to come up with this solution of this life.

The Misaka Sisters who had went against that same decision remained silent and gave no comment.

The life they had lead so far, the path they had walked so far.

Up to this day, it was thanks to the effort of their sister who was the third strongest level 5 esper of this city of science and a certain piky haired boy on that fateful night back in August that they were able to stand here.

It was thanks to Misaka Mikoto and that unlucky boy that they can be freed from that horrible Level 6 Shift project and a new path opened before their eyes.

By taking this path, they were able to get closer to a normal life of a normal human being step by step, little by little.

By walking this path, they were able to experience the feeling that a normal person always have during lifetime.

Walking under a bright, heating sun in summer.

Letting a cold breeze gently grazed the skin during winter.

Getting that mysterious "doki doki" sound from inside the chest whenever the image of that boy comes to mind.

Just by accepting this path, they had had many enjoyable moments of life and freedom.

And now, with the "sad end" of that boy, with the light complete lost forever in the darkness and no longer shines the path again, the road can't no longer be continued.

Everything had become meaningless.

But was it alright to let it all go? Was this the right choice?

Letting this life go would also mean let go every precious thing they had experienced and cherished so far. It would be the same with throwing away the effort of onee-sama and that boy after everything they had done to them into waste.

…..yes, that would be too cruel…

Misaka #10032 herself didn't want this and she knew, the other Misaka Sisters also knew that this kind of solution that they came up with was just a desperation to escape from this pain, this reality.

It was wrong, what they did was no different from running away.

The path that had collapsed right in front of their feet, they wanted to continue to walk on it, to keep on living this life they were offered.

However, by doing so, they would have to overcome this aching sensation of lost, they would need to accept a life without that boy, a path without even a tiny source of light to lead the way from this point on.

"…this is harsh, isn't it, #10909?" Misaka #10032 muttered in a low tone.

"It is, Misaka admits." The other former clone nodded her head softly as she heard it."It would not be easy to move forward from here. It might take time to recover from this sudden lost. We don't know how long it will be but this Misaka will make sure to endure and overcome this. This life is precious to her after all, says Misaka as she shows #10032 her resolution."

"…Misaka…"

Imouto looked to one of her many sisters and uttered, trying to say something while having no idea formed in her head. She was still feeling conflicted about her choice of life.

#10909 and some of the other units didn't have any intention to be shut down and wish to keep on with this life. The other Misaka Sisters in the Network had also begun to change their point of view toward the suicidal solution from before and aimed for the same purpose as the girl.

Words had been spread throughout the Network and the change was quick to take effect, the thought of asking the doctor to shut down their conscious mind was no longer available in the Network.

However, there was one thing left they would need to breakthrough.

The only one thing left that needed to be dealt with was to face this reality, the heart-wrenching pain in their chest.

They all realized it would be the most difficult thing to be done. Since to overcome this sensation, they would need to start accepting the fact that Kamijou Touma is no longer around in this world.

"…Misaka….."

Misaka #10032's word stopped there, her body started trembling so lightly that she didn't aware of it.

…it hurts…..

It hurt more whenever the short brown haired girl thought about it. She couldn't understand.

Why was it so hard to accept this?

Why did it hurt so much….more than before?

"You should take it slow."

At this moment, Heaven Canceller spoke up as he sat back on the chair.

"As your sister has already said, it will never be easy enduring and trying to accept the loss of someone important to you. A scar may never fade through time, but time will ease the pain it causes. What happened to Kamijou-kun was very sudden and we are all still struggling from his lost so you don't have to force yourself to accept this fact so soon, just let the time heal your wound. As long as you and the rest of the sisters didn't let yourself stray from the path that boy had set up for you, everything will be fine. And besides, I'm sure that boy would have said the same thing to many of you."

Both sisters turned their eyes to the frog-faced doctor when they heard that.

"Kamijou-kun was a good boy, perhaps a little bit stubborn with his injuries but still, he wouldn't want something like this to happen to his friends. If he knows the Misaka Sisters and everyone around him to end up becoming depressed this much because of him, he would feel sad and blame himself for it, no?"

"…"

Yes, they could imagine it. For someone like him, that could happen.

"By the way, I see each of you has begun to develop your own individual personality, hm."

Hearing such unexpected words, the two girls slightly widened their eyes in surprise.

"Based from the earlier conversation of both of you, the change might not be much, perhaps out of consciousness but I think I could see a few hints." A thin smile showed on the doctor's face."You started expressing your own opinion more openly on an emotional level. Even though the facial expression didn't show much, you feel hurt because of what has lost and you can still show such sadness inside you in a clearer way, and due to this unfortunate event, you let it pushed you on edge and those negative thoughts soon took over, yet there are a few exceptions with opposite thoughts, too."

Heaven Canceller was addressing to both of them, what had happened from earlier.

"I may not be a philosopher and never aim to be one but let me tell you this, sometime, life could be so unpredictably hurtful. Aside from the enjoyable moments you all had experienced, there are also the moments it will bring you pains such as this. Along with happiness and joy, hurt can be a part of those emotions."

The chair let out a small creaking sound as the doctor turned to them, with an advice, he pointed up a finger.

"Remember these feelings, it is because of these type of emotions that makes you a true human being. It hurts but you cannot deny it anymore, you have become more human than you could ever realize."

"…"

"So now, that much is everything I can say to you for now. What will you do next with these feelings is up to you. I'm sorry I can't follow your wish." Heaven Canceller awkwardly rubbed the back of his head, the thin smile on his face didn't seem like it will fade away.

"No, Misaka understands what the doctor says, Misaka replies as she feels grateful at his words."

Misaka #10032 gave a light bow after that and the doctor just nodded, he glad that the atmosphere had become lighter, not as tense as the beginning.

The Sisters were no longer think about that heartbreaking solution, everything seemed to have work out peacefully.

"So what will you do now?"

A short pause came as Heaven Canceller and Misaka #10909 waited for a respond from the girl.

"…..Misaka…"

#10032 looked down at the black kitten who was waving its paw around to reach the pendant on her neck. The girl tried to search for an answer but she still had no idea what to do after this, the conflict inside her mind hasn't died down.

"Misaka…..don't know."

But at the very least, she knew what she should do in order to take a step forward in this path.

"Misaka don't want to let go of this life he gave us."

At the moment, that was all she could say…..

…..

…

…

Watching the rain fell heavily outside the window, an old doctor poured a good amount of hot tea into his cup before turning back to his working desk and flicked open some of the pages of a single document placed on it.

Heaven Canceller's eyes surfed through the details of a certain black spiky haired boy's patient record one last time before finally closing it back. As the flipping sound stopped, another bright light of thunder struck down from the sky caused the window frame to shake slightly.

The roaring voice of the weather's rampage brought an uncomfortable feeling to the entire room.

It never stopped, the weather has been like this for several days.

This time, with a short sigh, he placed the tea cup on his desk and put the boy's record back onto a large size cabinet next there. As he was about to close the glass door and lock it, the words that spelled the name of that unfortunate boy on one side of the document entered his view.

"…."

Staring at it for a few minutes, the doctor eventually closed the door frame and returned to his desk with the cup of hot tea while he reached to it.

His eyebrows slightly narrowed as he took a gulp.

…it's lukewarm…..

For some reason, he felt both the taste and the smell of this tea has become less attractive to his appetite recently, not like before.

Perhaps knowing today was that boy's funeral, he has unknowingly let such influent thought to affect him.

…who would have thought the day I stop looking at your patient record would be this kind of day, huh….Kamijou-kun….

He would expect it to be something different.

Like any other patients that had and has been under his care, he would expect the boy to be back to his own path and continue it with his best.

But at this point, such expectation would never become true and nothing can change it.

While the frog-faced doctor seemed to have lost in his own reminiscence, several knocks on the door pulled his mind back to reality. The door that lead to his office opened halfway and a nurse revealed herself to inform him.

"Sensei, a new patient has just got transported in, the emergency room is ready for the operation."

"I see, I'll be on my way immediately."

The nurse nodded and left the door for him.

Heaven Canceller stood up from his chair and began to leave the room. At the final step before he closed the door, the doctor took one last glance at Kamijou's patient record.

Then, something like a melancholy feeling rose deep within that gaze of his as the memory of that morning came back to his mind.

The frog-faced doctor closed the door and walked away.

On that morning when he performed surgery to check the condition of that boy, perhaps for the first time in his medical career…..

...It seems like….I didn't really make it out alive from my own battlefield this time…

Heaven Canceller had lost against a battle of his own.

The heavy rain went on as the doctor footsteps slowly descended its sound along the long, dark corridor.

[Between the line]

While making her way toward a certain destination in her mind, something caught her attention.

"W-wait! You dropped your umbrella!"

A loud voice came from somewhere, making Imouto turned her head to look at the source.

On the other side of the road, some pedestrians tried to call out to someone from the distance. Next to them was a wet umbrella that was rolling on the ground due to the strong wind.

Misaka #10032 then shifted her emotionless eyes to the direction where they were looking.

And….

Through the hazy view, she only managed to see a few strings of hair with chocolate color floated in the air before it disappeared behind a corner.

The young girl stood there and watched in ponder, she didn't catch on what just happened.

Did someone just drop their umbrella and leave it there for good?

Little did the short brown haired girl knew.

A second ago, there was a girl who ran past there with tears in her eyes, with her clothe completely soaked in wet due to a sudden fall.

A girl with chocolate haired that fluffy like a cotton candy….

Author's note:

Well, that would be the end of the second part of Misaka Imouto's story. I hope the decent length (in my opinion) of the chapter satisfied you after that long break.

At first I thought I could make this chapter as the end of her story, but after that (tick mark pops out) moment of life that filled with misfortune like a certain author with a question mark had once commented in the other story. The plan has changed, Imouto will have a three parts story of her own so the next chapter will be a "little bit" short.

Although I said Misaka #10032's story consists of 3 chapters, this chapter seemed to focus on a small story of Heaven Canceller, too as you has seen. For the intention of moving the plot a little, I added the frog-faced doctor's point of view and showed how it worked toward the sad end of the spiky haired boy. Although this is an alternative universe, I'm still not quite sure if I had portrayed his personality in a suitable way as shown in the cannon or not. I guess I will leave this to you to decide.

By the way, in case you might not have noticed yet, the [Between the line] I added in was to remind us that this chapter takes place during chapter 3, the story of the Misaka Sisters happens before a certain girl takes her final step into the infinite so please be at ease and don't worry, the truth will be revealed in about [ ] chapters. (wink, wink)

So that will be the end of this note, the next chapter might take some time but I'll try to shorten the gap.

/

Next time: The so called "date" between her and him.

Kamijou: "Now I just realized this, not all ojou-samas are acting all elegant and gentle like we all know. The moment you turn your back to them, it was like leaving yourself full of opening in front of a predator's claw."

/

Well, I'll see you in the next note.