Title: Texts from Jane
Rating: K
Author: tika12001 (aka Katie)
Summary: short and funny (I hope). Maura receives a series of texts from Jane, who might be in hospital.
Disclaimer: not mine, never will be. I credit the original creator Tess Gerritsen, as well as Janet Tamaro for creating their tv alter egos. I make no money so please don't sue!
Author's notes: eh. Felt like writing a little something. Enjoy!
R&IR&IR&I
Jane: So... uh... I might be in the hospital.
Maura: You MIGHT be in the hospital?
Jane: Well... I'm in a bed. The blankets are all scratchy, it stinks like it's way too clean for my liking, and some bitch keeps poking me with a needle. So either it's hospital, or the drug lords manors are way different to how I remember.
Maura: You were in a drug lord's manor?
Jane: You know so little about me, Maura.
Maura: HA! So, are you going to tell me why you MIGHT be in hospital? Also what hospital and where in it I might find you?
Jane: no no, yuo dnt need t come here Maurys
Maura: Jane
Jane: ...Maura?
Maura: Oh, so my name is Maura again, is it? Why don't you want me to come there?
Jane: Because you don't need to?
Maura: But you're in the hospital.
Jane: ... I haven't entirely ruled out the whole 'drug lord's manor' thing
Jane: you reeeeally don't need t come. 'm fine
Jane: why aren't you answering?
Jane: look, I just told you about the whole potentially being in hospital thing cause Frankie made me
Jane: In fact, this is Frankie. Hi Maura. My name is Frankie. I am Jane's annoying little brother.
Jane: no, really, I stole her phone. This is all a prank, cause I'm an ass. Jane is at home on her couch.
Jane: did I mention what an ass I am?
Jane: helloooooooo
Maura: You really should learn some patience, Jane.
Jane: ... I'm Frankie.
Maura: No, you're not.
Jane: ... am too.
Jane: Maura?
Jane: what are you doing?
Jane: I'm not in the hospital!
Jane: I mean, Jane's not at the hospital
Jane: fuck.
Jane: I'm bored
***30 seconds later***
Jane: Ok, this is seriously taking like 20 years. Where are you? Why are you not talking to me?
Jane: dum de dum, here I am, just sitting at home, NOT AT THE HOSPITAL.
Jane: except don't come to my house cause I'm going out
Jane: ... I ran out of milk
Jane: and don't tell me you'll bring some over cause I need a special kind
Maura: A special kind of milk?
Jane: SHE LIIIIIVES
Jane: yes. I need a special kind of milk.
Jane: it's hard to find
Jane: Maura?
Jane: I also ran out of bread. And peas. And meat. This might take a while. It's gonna be a loooong shop. So don't come over.
Jane: Okay?
Jane: Cause I won't be home
Jane: cause, you know, I'm at the shop.
Maura: I'm getting into the car
Jane: Why are you getting into the car?
Jane: I'm not home
Jane: at the shop, remember?
Jane: I need milk
Jane: Maaaaaurraaaaaaa
Jane: so... asking for a friend... if my friend happened to, say, try to photocopy something (not her ass) and the glass broke, injuring her ass (even though it was not her ass she was trying to photocopy)... you'd be sympathetic, right? Especially considering she was NOT trying to photocopy her ass?
Jane: asking for a friend
Jane: could be a him too.
Jane: you would be at my place by now
Jane: you're still not answering
Jane: Maura
Jane: MAURA
Maura: Oh Jane, you didn't.
Jane: Where are you?
Maura: I'm at the emergency ward.
Jane: I'M NOT HERE
JANE: I MEANT THERE
Jane: AND IT WASN'T ME
Jane: though, in other news, I am about to get stitches on my ass. COMPLETELY UNRELATED TO ANYTHING I WAS SAYING BEFORE. So... how was your day?
END