We All Fall Down

Chapter One – September 5

"France has a new sustainable energy plan… want us to… conference at the end of the month…"

Elizabeth could hear Jay speaking. She could. The problem was she was having trouble focusing on the words. That had become annoyingly common in the last few weeks. No matter how much sleep she got – which admittedly wasn't very much – she still felt exhausted, and exhaustion didn't promote concentration. She could feel herself drifting and scrubbed at her eyes to try and pull herself back.

"Sorry, Jay. Could you…" She waved her hand vaguely. "Repeat that for me?"

Both Jay and Blake looked at her closely. She could sense them reading her, evaluating her. It hadn't escaped her notice that they'd all been keeping a closer eye on her than usual. Thankfully none of them had mentioned anything. Not to her at least. She figured they were likely discussing her among themselves though.

"The sustainable energy conference at the end of the month. France would like our support."

"Right. Right," she mumbled even though she had no idea what this new plan was. Jay might have mentioned something about it, but he also might not have. "I'm sure they sent a copy of this new plan of theirs."

"Of course, Ma'am. Right here."

He handed her a rather thick report which she flipped through once before nodding.

"Blake, let the French ambassador know that after I read their proposal I'll decide whether the United States will back them at the energy conference."

"But you suspect we'll support them, correct, Ma'am?" Blake asked.

"Yes, Blake. I do. I seriously doubt there's going to be anything in their plan that we will disagree with that strongly."

"I will let them know then."

Blake turned and left the room, Jay right behind him. Neither said a word until the door to Elizabeth's office was closed. The second it was Jay rounded on Blake.

"You have to say something to her!"

"About what?" Blake returned with total nonchalance as he sat down at his desk.

"About…"

Jay couldn't believe Blake was trying to sweep all of this under the rug when it was so obvious. It wasn't like Blake had been absent from their discussion a few weeks ago, and nothing had changed since then. He spent more time near Elizabeth than anyone else. There was no way he couldn't see it.

"About the fact that she'd exhausted, not paying any attention, and paler than the goddamn walls!"

"Yes, we've discussed all of that before."

"And you still haven't done anything."

Blake nearly rolled his eyes when he looked away from his computer and turned his attention toward Jay.

"Because it's not my place. When she over-works herself the best I can do is make sure she eats and gets home on time."

Despite his words Blake didn't fully believe working too hard was the root of Elizabeth's problems. Their schedule wasn't any heavier than usual. Blake knew when the Secretary was overworking herself, and she hadn't been. Even if she had pushed herself too hard, usually one easy weekend with her family was enough to recharge her. Whatever was going on this time had lasted for weeks though, and she'd had weekends off. The rare kind where nobody had needed to call her in.

"You might want to start considering doing more than that, Blake."

As Jay left Blake couldn't help thinking that he might very well be right.

O . o . O . o . O

When Blake stepped into the secretary's office a few hours later to inform her it was time for her meeting with the President he found her still at her desk. The document with France's new sustainable energy plan remained open on the desktop, but she wasn't reading it. Instead her head was tipped at an odd angle against the back of the chair and her eyes were closed. Blake wasn't sure if she was asleep or merely resting given the fact that he'd found her engaged in both at least once over the past weeks. It was fully possible that she was merely thinking with her eyes closed too. He'd seen her do that before, though admittedly less often than he'd witnessed the other two possibilities.

"Ma'am?"

He barely needed to touch her shoulder before her eyes flickered open.

"I'm awake. I'm awake. Sorry, Blake. What is it?"

"It's time for your meeting, Ma'am."

"Meeting. Right."

Elizabeth pushed her chair back and stood. Immediately the world shifted. Desperate not to fall she automatically reached out for her desk to try and stay upright. Blake saw her waver and grabbed her arm to steady her.

"Okay, let's get you sitting back down," Blake told her in a voice that did a good job of concealing his panic.

He was rather impressed with himself for that.

"Yeah, sitting down would probably be a good idea."

Elizabeth clutched at his arms as he helped lower her into a chair. She was far too dizzy to be of much help. Once she was reseated she dropped her head into her hands and prayed the spinning would stop. It did, eventually. Blake waited quietly at her side, one hand resting lightly on her shoulder until she lifted her head. He didn't think she could have gotten much paler, but somehow she'd managed it.

"Madam Secretary?"

"I'm alright, Blake. I just stood up too fast."

The line of Blake's mouth tightened, and Elizabeth could tell he didn't believe her.

"Really, Blake. It was nothing. Don't worry about it," Elizabeth pressed.

"I wouldn't say you almost passing out was nothing, Ma'am."

Blake did have a point. She'd dealt with dizziness a few times before, but it had always been minor and rather short lived. As far as she knew nobody at work had even noticed her occasional unsteadiness. This time had been a little more severe to be sure, but she still doubted it was anything to cause true concern.

"It's already passed, Blake," she insisted as she went to stand up.

There was no way he was going to let her do that though. With one hand clamped firmly on her shoulder he kept her in place. She shot him a dark glare that nearly made him release her. He was, after all, overstepping his bounds. Blake had to picture that terrible moment when she nearly went down to convince himself that this conversation needed to happen. At the moment he didn't have a choice but to go against her wishes. It was for her own good.

"I'm sorry, Ma'am, but that? That's not something that I can ignore or say has passed. You haven't truly been yourself for a while now. I think it's time for you to consider seeing a doctor, unless you've done so already."

Elizabeth's face closed off even further.

"Blake," she said in warning.

"I'm concerned about you, Ma'am."

That brought a smile of amusement to Elizabeth's face. She could tell he wasn't going to back down on this, and there was no way she could blame him for his decision. The thought had been drifting through her own mind occasionally as well, though she didn't want to admit it.

"Concerned… So basically you're more like terribly worried about me."

"That's probably a more appropriate description, but really, Ma'am, you look terrible. You have for a long time now. Something could be seriously wrong."

He'd appeared mildly sheepish at the beginning but had quickly become more determined. If Blake had finally decided to broach this subject with her then maybe it was time to see a doctor and determine if this was more than simple exhaustion. The thought rather scared her. She couldn't really avoid it much longer though. Not only would Blake not let this go now that he'd brought it up, Henry had mentioned similar concerns to her. If quite a few people were seeing it and had been for a long time – it would have taken Blake days of careful consideration before he decided the topic needed to be brought to her attention – then she was probably past the point of needing to do something.

"I get it, Blake." She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "I'll call for an appointment after I get back from my meeting with the President, which I'm probably already late for."

Blake glanced up at the clock and winced visibly. Elizabeth took that to mean she was indeed very late.

"That will be fine," Ma'am," he hastily replied. "Thank you."

She smiled at him and squeezed his arm in appreciation before getting up with a steadying hand resting on her desk. At least this time there wasn't any wobbling or lightheadedness. That was good. She couldn't afford any more delays. Blake let her go without argument, though Elizabeth could tell she would likely need to talk to him later so he didn't blame himself for making her late.

O . o . O . o . O

It turned out that Blake wasn't the only person she had to content with that afternoon. After she'd told her doctor what she'd been experiencing and how long the symptoms had lasted she'd gotten an appointment right away. Obviously Blake and Henry weren't the only ones who thought she should have called sooner. The reprimand didn't exactly improve Elizabeth's already low mood any. Neither had the massive battery of questions and tests she'd been forced to undergo since arriving. As she sat waiting for the results of her blood test to come back she tried to drag herself out of the near perpetual fog she'd been drifting in for days. Despite her efforts she couldn't quite manage it and eventually leaned her head back against the wall and gave up. There was really no reason why she would need to focus or do more than drift at the moment anyway.

Elizabeth wasn't sure how long it had been before she heard the door open. Normally she would have been able to read her doctor's expression as she walked in, but today she didn't even bother trying. It was too much effort. She would get all the answers she needed in a few minutes anyway – whether she really wanted them or not.

"Well, I got your blood results back," Elizabeth's doctor explained as she sat down. "A few things came up."

Elizabeth nearly moaned. She'd suspected there was some cause of her symptoms, but finding a few things in her blood tests didn't sound good. Well, she might as well get the bad news over with.

"Alright, hit me with it."

She gave the doctor a quick "come on" motion with her hand and sat back to hear the results.

"You have anemia, Elizabeth."

"Anemia?"

"The iron levels in your blood are incredibly low, so it's having trouble carrying oxygen throughout your body."

All of that was rather difficult for Elizabeth to process, and it was even harder for her to understand why it had suddenly happened. She hadn't changed her diet recently. Granted she didn't exactly have the best track record for eating well or even regularly, but it had never caused serious problems before. At least not as far as she knew.

"So what do I need to do to fix it?"

"Eating foods that are high in iron will help. I will give you a prescription for iron supplements as well."

That didn't sound so bad.

"And that should solve the problem?" Elizabeth asked.

"Hopefully, but we need to discuss what caused the anemia in the first place."

Elizabeth quickly took back her previous assessment that the situation didn't sound too bad. As if anemia wasn't bad enough, there was apparently more to come. A sick feeling settled in her stomach at that thought. She really did not want more bad news, and whatever her doctor had to say was inevitably going to be bad. She just knew it.