It's been a while since I've written something so here's a short one shot. Meant to be a simple hurt/comfort. No boxes. Not beta read so sorry for any shitty grammar .
"Everyone I've ever loved has died because of me," Peter murmurs, holding Deadpool's hand to his cheek. Deadpool remains silent, his heart hammering away in his chest as he watches the younger man hold back sobs. Peter blinks rapidly, hoping to keep the tears that threatened to fall at any moment at bay.
"Hey, don't blame yourself," Deadpool responds after watching his favorite hero squeeze his eyes shut. "Yeah you could have prevented it somehow, you had choices and you just happened to be unlucky, but that doesn't mean what happened was completely...well pointless."
"People died Wade. Because of me. I failed them. I don't want to fail you too."
"I know that baby boy, what I'm saying is that everything that's happened so far, no matter how terrible or amazingly perfect that experience was - and I know this is going to come out extremely corny but it's true- everything that happens has shaped you into the person you are. You're gentle and shy, selfless and brave, scared and loving; all at once. That's you. Everyone's a little fucked up, but hey that's life. No one's perfect. No one's life is sparkles and rainbows. I mean look at me, I'm a giant pile of fucked up with a side of crazy."
He pauses and watches Peter wipe away tears, leaving his cheeks damp and flushed.
"You can't save everyone Petey. If you keep trying to save everyone, you're going to fail eventually and when you do, you're going to be disappointed and hurt. You're going to feel worthless just like how you feel right now. But hey," He reaches out a finger to Peter's chin and guides the boy's eyes to meet his own, "Look at all the lives you've saved. Keep doing you."
Silence ensued and Deadpool added, "You don't need to worry about me, I'm practically immortal." He beams at this, hoping to remind the other that there was no need to fear Deadpool's death.
"I know...gods I know, but even so I can't help but worry that maybe, somehow you'll end up like everyone else. L-like maybe some villainous organization comes up with some form of weapon to counteract your healing factor. It could be like any other day where you use your body to shield me, or even you just being reckless. You can wind up dead and I would just think, Hey he'll be fine, he's always fine. He'll come back, his healing factor will save him. But you won't come back becauseā¦.because you're dead!" He sobs, "It'll be my fault because I could've gotten you to stop putting yourself in harm's way. I'm...I feel like I'm just using your ability to my advantage without second thought about the consequences."
"No, no baby boy. You're not using me, I'm using me. It's my choice, you're not making me do anything. I've been at this for a very long time. I've never cared how many times I died because I've always, and I mean always came back. I've thrown caution in the wind because I no longer need it. If someone comes up with an anti-healing factor or anti-mutate whatever, then we'll just take them down like we always do."
"And if they get to you before we even realize it?" He whimpers, bringing his knees to his chest and hugging it tightly.
Deadpool doesn't have an answer for that. He knows that there will probably be a time where someone would best him, because there's always someone better than you- some are just lucky never to have run into that person.
"It hurts doesn't it?" Peter adds, grabbing at one of Deadpool's scarred hands, "No matter how many times you get shot, stabbed, killed...it still hurts?"
He nods slowly.
"Promise me you'll be careful from now on? Stop putting yourself at unnecessary risks when we can prevent it. I can't lose anyone else, I can't lose you...please." He pleads, glancing up at the taller man, tears finally making it's way down his cheeks.
Don't go where I can't follow
The unspoken thoughts echoed in both of their minds.
Deadpool pulls him into a hug and rests his chin on the younger boys head.
"I promise."