AN: Finally! RL got in the way of me finishing off the last couple of chapters as quickly as I'd hoped, so apologies for the delay. Big thank you to northernexposure for the beta read and for her advice and encouragement, and a big thank you to Photogirl1890 for reading every word of this 60k+ story without complaint, and for her advice and suggestions. Thanks again to everyone who has reviewed and favourited this story. I obviously hope you like the ending. Happy 50th Birthday Star Trek!

Chapter fifiteen

Seven months later

I think she knows.

I could see it in her eyes earlier. When she said she'd see me here later, I could hear it too, in the subtle inflections of her voice.

I'm guessing she already had a pretty good idea what was going on two days ago. Sekaya was just handing the perfect golden circle back to me when Kathryn appeared in the doorway. My sister said Kathryn was looking straight at it, and it glinted in the sunlight as I quickly dropped it into my pocket.

I had to get it made smaller. It took an early morning trip to the only jeweller here. I carefully peeled Kathryn's sleeping form from my side and slipped away. I took Gabriel with me. Our cover story was that we were fetching fresh bread from the new bakery that happens to be next door to the jeweller's workshop. Kalem makes his own delicious bread daily at the house though, so I doubt Kathryn was fooled for a minute.

Ever since I picked it up from the jewellers about half an hour ago, it's been burning a hole in my pocket. I told Kathryn I'd accepted Kalem's offer to show me around the kitchens and meet the staff at the restaurant before they opened for dinner tonight. My plan almost backfired when she said it sounded like an interesting offer and she'd come with me.

Luckily, Gabriel was in the room. As she was speaking, I caught his eye.

"Will you help me find Lousha?" he asked Kathryn almost immediately.

On our first day here, Gabriel won over the large cat-like animal with his quiet patience. I've had to lift her off his bed a couple of times this week, as she takes up more of it than he does once she stretches out.

"She went out back into the woods again," he went on. "If I don't go find her now, I won't get to play with her before we go."

Kathryn immediately agreed to help him find her. He's a smart boy. As soon as Kathryn's back was turned I winked at him and he shot me that smile that reminds me of Maiara.

I asked for a quiet table, and Kalem made sure I got one. It's in the furthest corner of the decking, beside the intricately carved wooden balustrade. The restaurant has three walls. Where the fourth would be, the room opens out and the tables continue onto decking that stretches out over the lake. There's a series of large translucent awnings overhead, in an interlocking pattern of elongated triangles. They remind me of birds' wings, but, knowing Marsadan culture, the designer was probably inspired by some indigenous fish.

As I sip my drink – the Marsadan equivalent of champagne – the whirring of my mind reminds me that I need to make more time to meditate. Life has been so full of activity recently that it's taken me most of this week of vacation to even begin to unwind. Sitting here waiting for Kathryn feels like the first time I've been left alone with my thoughts long enough to really take stock of everything that's happened since I was last in the Marsadan system.

I've been on several missions since we brought Gabriel back from DS9. So far, it's been possible for him to come with me on Voyager most of the time. The other times, he stayed with Kathryn, or Sveta has offered to have him. She's helped out whenever I've asked her. She and Kathryn are still pretty wary of one another. Whenever it seems hopeless, I remind myself that if Tom Paris and I can become friends, then it's not impossible that one day these two incredibly strong women might. But, it's safe to say, that day is still a way off.

Gretchen was the first person Kathryn told about our decision. She said she thought it was wonderful that Gabriel would be living with us. I suspect it was a different story with Phoebe. Kathryn eventually admitted to me that her sister had been pretty vocal in her objections at first. I wasn't surprised. She was probably worried for Kathryn that sharing her life with a child might not make her happy - she wasn't the only one. The first time we saw Phoebe when we got back, there was look in her eye that made me wonder if she wasn't just waiting for it all to blow up in our faces. But that was months ago now. She's been nothing but supportive ever since. I guess she must have come around to the idea.

Sekaya said that the spirits must have had a hand in me giving Gabriel the tiny replica of Voyager years ago, because it planted the seeds of our future together. B'Elanna just hugged me and said it was about time I wiped my fair share of runny noses. Then she told me that the Klingons say quiet children usually make the most bloodthirsty warriors.

Gretchen has looked after Gabriel once or twice. He's learning what to expect from whom. Gretchen and Phoebe spoil him rotten, while Sveta treats him like a small adult. Sometimes it's meant complicated logistical arrangements, and sometimes it feels like Kathryn and I are playing tag-parenting. But, all in all, I think things have worked out pretty well so far.

That's not to say there haven't been some hair-raising moments, or moments when I've questioned whether I wasn't selfish to want him with me. A case in point would be when I woke up in sickbay on our last mission. I'd had a front row seat for the accident in Engineering. Just after I came around, I turned my head to see Jarem leading Gabriel towards me. The sickening rush of guilt I felt on seeing him white with fear was almost enough to knock me unconscious again. Thankfully, I'd only been out for about an hour. He's a tough kid though. He seemed to bounce right back within minutes.

He's grown quite a bit and he's filled out a little too in the past few months. He's still kind of angular; I'm convinced that, one day, he'll be as tall as the men on Maiara's side of the family. By the time he's a teenager, I suspect I'll be getting a crick in my neck looking up at him just like I do when I'm talking to Mike Ayala's towering young giants. I see Roberto in his eyes sometimes, and I hear echoes of Maiara's laughter when he's excited. His favourite bedtime stories are the ones I tell him about the brave Starfleet officer named Roberto and the rebel with the beautiful smile who won his heart.

And he's made a friend. The son of my new transporter chief. A fireball of a kid, a year older and twice as boisterous. I like him a lot. He reminds me of Kohana as a boy. And when he's around, Kathryn and I stop worrying that Gabe spends too much time with adults and is growing up too serious.

It took him two full weeks to tell us he prefers Gabe to Gabriel. Sveta knew all along, but somehow forgot to mention it. He's spent a fair amount of time with her so far. She's taken him on some fantastic trips to Europe and he's come back each time with some very special stories to tell.

We've yet to travel to my colony, but that's on the horizon for the next time we take an extended vacation. I've wanted to take Kathryn there for a while now, and it feels important to introduce Gabriel to his mother's cultural heritage, even if he doesn't remember her or feel a connection to the tribe. He may never decide to embrace that part of his identity, but I want him to experience it at least. Sekaya has begun researching Ichante's family, Gabriel's maternal grandfather. It's slow going, but we're both convinced that at least one of his descendants must have survived.

When we talked about planning a trip to my colony, Kathryn asked whether I'd ever want to buy one of the houses that have been built as part of the reconstruction project. I told her no. I lost too much there. And I carry those people in my heart. I don't need to be there to feel close to them. We've actually been talking about buying a holiday place here on Marsada – somewhere big enough for the three of us and a few guests too maybe.

The apartment we chose in San Francisco is probably larger than we really need, but I'm not complaining. It's in the building next to Kathryn's old one and has the same view out over the bay. The amount of stuff Kathryn seems to own more than makes up for the fact that I still have very few material possessions. Every time she visits Gretchen's house she seems to come back with yet another Janeway family heirloom we can't live without.

Professionally, I've been on an even keel for the past few months. I've continued to navigate my way through life as a Starfleet captain the only way I know how. I approach each day with the same commitment to challenging the organisation whose colours I wear to be the best it can be.

I grew up a contrary, and I've lived most of my adult life as an outsider. I reclaimed both those terms years ago. Now, I wear them as proudly as I wear my uniform. Whenever Kathryn catches me tugging on the collar or at the cuffs, she chides me, and tells me I should customise the replicator program. But I doubt it'd make any difference. I doubt any uniform would really fit me properly. And I've actually grown to respect that slight sense of discomfort. It helps me stay sharp.

Sometimes it's easier for me to examine Starfleet and the Federation's priorities and actions with a cold eye. What happened here on Marsada last year with the Breen is still fresh in my mind, as it is in the minds of the people I hold most dear. But, that doesn't change my conviction that people like me, whose loyalties straddle more than one world, are blessed, rather than cursed, with our own unique perspective. The way I see it, there'll probably always be times when we have a duty to ourselves, and to others, to voice some of the insights that perspective affords us. Especially when some of those around us seem to find it hard not to accord Earth a privileged status, rather than see it as no more or less important than the other members of the Federation.

Since the Marsadan affair, I think Kathryn and I have found more common ground than ever before. I know that if the Federation looked like it was about to choose a similar path again, she'd be one of the first to object, as publically and as vocally as possible. I also know that, as a last resort, I'd resign again if I had to. But, long before it came to that, I know that I'd stand beside her, working as hard as I could to convince anyone who'd listen that there's always another way.

She's been a success at the Academy so far. She's found preparing classes more time consuming than she'd anticipated. And she's had to work hard at honing her teaching skills, but she's been very much up the challenge. I'm glad she's also had the project with Picard. It's provided her with the light relief she needed when the semester seemed too long and too demanding. I don't honestly know how much real work the two of them do. I suspect most of their time is spent entertaining each other by swapping stories over long 'working' lunches. But, she always comes back renewed, so as far as I'm concerned, it's been a success as well. I'll admit I do have to remind myself sometimes that he isn't competition. They certainly have quite a rapport.

Her confidence has taken a few knocks when it comes to parenting Gabriel. There've been moments of confusion and tears, but she's survived. Sveta says the life he's led so far means that he's already a man's man – which always makes me laugh, given he's still only a boy. It may be that it's taken him a little longer to feel totally comfortable around Kathryn than it seemed to with me. There was a tricky period the first time I couldn't take him with me on a mission. Kathryn was convinced he was miserable. All I know is that he seemed fine when I got back. And he never once said anything bad about his time with her.

Voyager was in spacedock for four days in December, and Kathryn was very pleased that it meant Gabe and I were able to spend Christmas Day at Gretchen's house, experiencing some of their Christmas traditions and meeting some of her extended family. They certainly made us feel welcome. And we got to know a few of the family characters – like Aunt Martha. She's one truly formidable woman.

The day after Christmas Day, I had to leave on a mission without Gabriel. We'd only just gone to warp when I got an urgent message from Kathryn. She told me that he'd gone out to play in the snow at Gretchen's and he'd slipped and fell when he was climbing over an icy gate. He broke his wrist. I spoke to him not long afterwards and he seemed fine. The whole thing seemed to shake Kathryn up far more than it did him. She said she couldn't stop feeling guilty that she hadn't supervised him more closely. The same way that she pretty much had kittens on Christmas Day when he opened one of the presents she'd wrapped for him – a little penknife that used to belong to her father. He loved it. But, the very first time he pulled the blade out, he promptly sliced his thumb open. Then Aunt Martha clucked her disapproval and Kathryn took it to heart.

It has to be said that her Aunt Martha takes the Janeway propensity for stubbornness to new heights. Once she discovered Gabriel's middle name, she started calling him Gabriel-Edward. Whenever anyone pointed out it's actually Eduardo, after his grandfather, and it's not a hyphenated first name, she seemed to grow significantly more hard-of-hearing. She told Gretchen several times how glad she was Kathryn had named him after her father. Later, Gretchen took me aside. She apologised, saying that no matter what anyone said, Aunt Martha had gotten it into her head that Gabriel is our secret love-child from our first seven years in the Delta Quadrant. She seemed intent on telling anyone who'd listen. And she kept giving Kathryn knowing winks and telling her she needn't be ashamed. It drove Kathryn crazy that her aunt wouldn't listen to reason. Can't say I really minded.

People who don't know us obviously presume he's our son. I'm comfortable with that, but Kathryn seems to feel the need to offer an explanation more often than not. As for Gabriel, it's hard to know how he feels yet. The other day at the end of class, while I was listening to his teacher telling me about his work, I could hear one of the younger boys talking to him behind me. They didn't realise I could hear. The younger boy said, "Wooah! You never said your dad was a captain!" Then I turned just enough to surreptitiously watch Gabe. He didn't say anything in reply; he just smiled and shrugged.

We've been pleased that he seems to have settled okay in the 'fleet school he and Miral and the other Voyager children attend when we're on Earth. The teacher tells us he seems to live in his head quite a bit and he's often rather serious and quiet, but he's well-liked by the other children and he's a good student. We've been told to keep offering him opportunities to talk about his grandfather's death, and his life on Bajor. We do, but, so far, he hasn't said much to either of us. He'll answer questions about his life there, but he doesn't volunteer information. He's healthy though, and, as far as any of us can tell, he seems happy enough. I was scared at first that he'd miss the community he grew up in. But so far, my fears on that score don't appear to have been realised.

Kathryn scared the hell out of me just after we decided to have Gabriel live with us though. She suddenly took an uncharacteristic interest in maintaining her own health by voluntarily taking herself to Jarem for her overdue routine physical. She'd been in there about half an hour when he called me down to join them. That was one long 'lift ride. My heart was pounding in my ears. The minute I walked in, however, the look on Kathryn's face banished any fears I had.

"Look, Chakotay!" She gestured towards the data still on the screen of Jarem's workstation. "No wonder I've been feeling good."

Jarem moved so I had a clearer view.

"Dr Kaz tells me that these readings suggest that I have the metabolic age of someone approximately ten years younger than my chronological age."

I looked between the screen and the two of them in surprise.

Jarem pointed to the rows of data on the screen. "All her internal organs seem to have somehow rejuvenated slightly, and her bone density, her hormone levels, reproductive system are more like those of a woman of thirty than one who's closer to fifty."

Kathryn had beamed back at me. "I know when I first returned, I was told I was in excellent health, but this… Well, it's remarkable!"

"How is it possible?" I asked.

"I have no idea," Jarem replied. "All I can tell you is the state of things now. And I wanted to see you too, Chakotay, because as soon as I saw these readings, I realised there was a connection."

"How so?" I frowned.

"The improvement in your health has obviously been noticeable too," he replied. "But I put it down to your renewed interest in maintaining your fitness levels for the past couple of years. But, now that I have the data from the Admiral's physical, I compared the two." He leans in and pulls up the results of my latest scans. "You can see that exactly the same vital systems have been affected in exactly the same way. The rejuvenation goes deeper with the Admiral, but still, it seems like far too much of a coincidence to me. I think Q did you both some pretty big favours."

"Isn't it extraordinary?" Kathryn marvelled.

"It is."

"So," Jarem told her, "if you ever wanted to try to beat Chakotay at hoverball, Admiral, now's the time to try. He may be in pretty good shape himself, but, right now, I'd fancy your chances."

Kathryn smirked a little and poked me in the ribs. "I might just follow the good Doctor's advice on that one. Fancy a game later?"

I was still lagging behind though. "Do you mean to say we've somehow stopped ageing?"

"No," Jarem replied. "Your cells are decaying exactly as I'd expect now. But, it's as if someone simply turned the Admiral's body clock back almost ten years – and yours five maybe – and then set them going again."

"I have been feeling pretty good this past year," I mused.

"And I've noticed that ever since my return, I seem to be able to go without sleep the way I often did on Voyager the first time," Kathryn added, "but without having to pay for it in the same way the next day." Then she turned to Jarem and smiled. "Thank you, Doctor. You've given us a lot to think about."

I walked back to deck three in something of a daze that evening. It was a couple of weeks after she'd invited me back into her life – and her bathtub. So, once I'd regrouped, I suggested it was only right that we tested our unexpected gifts of youthful health and vigour to their limits straight away. I convinced her that I could think of far better ways than playing hoverball.

Ever since then, things between us have been very good. Better than very good. I'm so grateful the fates have granted me yet another chance at happiness with Kathryn. What was it Tom called me the other day? Chief of the Tribe of Second Chances? And people object to my sense of humour… Anyway, I don't intend to waste a minute of the time we have together from now on.

We've been here at Sekaya and Kalem's now for a week. It's been the best vacation I can remember – although it's not as if I've actually had any in the past decade I could compare it to. We spent a part of every day swimming. It seems as if there are beaches and lakes of unparalleled beauty at the end of every dirt track on this planet. And it's been great that Kathryn and I have been able to spend some time alone together while my sister's family entertain Gabriel.

Kalem is great with him. They seemed to bond instantly. It was only a matter of minutes before Kalem announced to everyone that Gabriel's kind and patient manner with the girls makes him a great big brother, and it's time Kathryn and I started to work on providing him with siblings. She usually laughs off comments like that one with an elegant swish of her hand, but this time, she surprised me.

"Well," she'd said, smiling an uncharacteristically shy smile at Kalem. "I have to confess I've had the same thought myself."

Then she turned my way and leant in, dropping her next words close to my ear. "What do you think? For my part, I might consider having our own child, as long as you can promise me one at least as gorgeous as my goddaughter or her brother, or as adorable as these two," she added, looking at my little nieces. She smirked a little at the surprise on my face. Then she shrugged, adding, "Neither of us were only children, after all. Perhaps a sibling would be good for him."

I think Sekaya overheard though, because she laughed and said, "You are an inspiration, Kathryn. You have overcome so many obstacles. No amount of upheaval seems to throw you off course!"

Kathryn quirked an eyebrow. "Oh I don't know about that," she'd replied. "But, my life has been far from uneventful since I returned, and it was far from uneventful before. These days, I can't imagine why I ever thought that would change."

XxX

I'm brought back to the present by movement at the entrance to the restaurant and a flash of blue as she walks in. I've barely taken my eyes off the door since I got here. From my seat I have a clear view of the area where diners are greeted as they come in, so I see her the minute she arrives.

I won't deny the spirits are dancing a little in my belly. This isn't something I've ever done before.

Given we're already parenting a child together, we own an apartment together and I know she has nothing against the institution per se, and, most importantly, we're happy – very happy – I've been telling myself that there really shouldn't be much chance she'll say no. The only thing that might make her cautious would be what happened with her previous relationships. But she doesn't usually hold with superstition of any kind. I'm hoping she won't decide to start now.

She takes in her surroundings, nods to Kalem behind the bar and makes her way over to greet him. As I watch her, I know I'll never tire of admiring the confident roll of her slim, shapely hips – accentuated right now by that fitted blue dress she knows I love, and the tilt of a pair of elegant stilettos. I'm not the only one whose eyes are tracking her progress across the room. I wouldn't mind betting she's the most class this restaurant has seen in a while. What's amazing to me, still, is that someone like her chose someone like me.

Kalem comes out from behind the bar and points me out to her. A wave from her hand tells me she'll be over in a minute. I can see that she's curious to cast a quick eye over the kitchens as per Kalem's earlier invitation. She disappears from view for a moment, only to reappear again immediately in my mind's eye, divested of all her clothing, as last night comes back to me. She's stretched out lazily on the bed, bathed in the light of the Marsadan moons and welcoming the slight breeze as it rustles the thin muslin-like drapes half-drawn over our open window. The strong sun here has dusted the delicious cream of her skin with specs of caramel – or toffee maybe. I haven't decided which yet. I need to conduct some more thorough research. Then my mind's eye decides to add tonight's stilettos to her slender feet in this picture. And I can still hear her playful drawl, telling me that I'll probably never get to see her new nightgown because the nights on this planet are so damn hot. Can't argue with that.

I look up again to see her walking towards me. There's a smile playing around the corner of her mouth before she's even made it to the table. I smile back. As she gets closer, I see our future in her eyes and I allow myself to fall willingly under her spell.

She knows. No doubt about it. She knows.

[The End]