Okay guys, this is a small fic about the civil war. I wrote an alternative to how it could have been. Just a warning, this is seriously angsty and there is not going to be a continuation because that would be too uptight and all you know...

I gotta be honest - I hated this arc. I mean, I loved Karma's badnassness and seeing Nagisa beaten up (I said before that I'm a sadist). But the way it ended - with Karma losing - was way too... forced. I just really didn't like it.

Maybe that's the reason I made Nagisa suffer in this one XDD Sorry.


Nagisa's P.O.V.

Kill.

Don't kill.

Kill.

Don't kill.

Kill.

Kill.

Kill?

...

Which was it again?

I was fighting, right? To save my beloved teacher. To save him, not to kill him. Don't kill. Save. And yet - this anger, this impatience, ache - why did I feel it? Was it because of Koro-sensei? Because of the fact that he would die? Or because the one who I considered my dearest friend was now my foe?

He hit me. Once, twice, ten times in row. I hit him. And it hurt, I know it did, because every time his jaw would tighten and he would smile, accepting the pain. He could have dodged all of them, he could have killed me any time he wanted. But he didn't. Karma-kun wanted to give me the chance, he wanted to give me the right to prove myself. Unlike me who just looked for the best way to assassinate him. And who was it that played dirty again?

My chest burned. I wanted him to understand my point, to at least acknowledge it. We could save Koro-sensei. We could find the way, for sure!

We haven't spoken a single word. Despite that, we knew what the other was thinking about. Karma-kun was determined to win, to win completly, no underhanded tactics anymore. But the will, the drive for that desire did not reach me. And neither did mine.

It hurt so bad. With every punch and every kick, my body felt heavier and heavier. He was also sore, panting and yet he did not stop.

"Why?!" I cried out, returning him the blow. The redhead stumbled but didn't fail to leave another bruise on my side.

"Why you ask?!" he hissed, rubbing off the blood on his cheek. "Because this is the only place we have!"

Our fists connected and I immediately backed off while he carried on attacking: "Because if we stop now, what meaning would the last year have?!"

I finally managed to land a hit on him but Karma-kun did not waver: "There's no guarantee that you will be able to save him!"

"We will!" shouting, I punched again but missed. My friend however succeeded.

"And if not?! He's just gonna explode like a bomb without ever feeling truly connected with us - not unless we are the ones who kill him!"

We were now on the ground with him pinning me down. I used all of my strenght to fight back but couldn't. I wouldn't have even noticed that he has been shedding tears if one of them hadn't fell on me. His face was one of true anguish, however, as much as it hurt him, it also hurt me.

"What you are sprouting here is nothing but dreams! Idealism! This is reality, Nagisa-kun! Wake up!"

It enraged me, to be honest. Why did Karma-kun struggle so hard? Why couldn't open up and just give it the chance? He was right that Koro-sensei wanted to take his last breath for us. But he was so wrong about the possibilites! He was the genius, wasn't he? Okuda-san was the science proffesional, wasn't she?! Itona-kun could create anything, machines, techonology was his forte. And Ritsu just needed to search on the internet! We had to at least try, because while assassination ability indeed was what we created for the last year, it was also the bonds with our teacher.

So I decided. I will win this fight. I will do so, no matter what it takes. Fighting my best friend. Getting beaten up. Using dirty tricks.

Karma-kun noticed that I stopped putting up a fight, suppossing that I was too tired and hurt (which I was), and landed the last blow - an axe kick. I was thankful for the vest because otherwise, I would have a broken spine.

Breathing heavily, he walked away to get his knife, and then returned. I waited for the right moment - when he put his all into that finishing stab. Exactly at that time, I raised from the ground and used my assassination technique.

Despite having bit his own tongue, the clap did affect him. Using my knife as a bait, I shoved him down to the ground and started the choke.

My opponent was strong. So very strong that with every of his punch, breathing got harder. However, I did not let go. I stayed like that, the desire to win controlling me - hold him, make him surrender, defeat him. Save Koro-sensei.

Adrenaline beclouded my mind, making everything from the outside disappear. Not even a sound, nothing to see - only the aim I set. Suddenly, Karma-kun somehow managed to switch to his side, slowly finding the way to free himself. I was scared. I panicked, afraid, and used all of my strenght left to push him down again.

That's when something disturbingly hot reached my fingers. Horrified, I realized that the boy under me stopped struggling altogether. And now that my eyes finally opened, the reality hit me. There was blood. Lots of blood.

"KARMA-KUN?!" Koro-sensei was the first one to notice and he came rushing to us, followed by the whole class and teachers.

I couldn't move. I just sat on the unconsciouss redhead, confused, terrified. What have I done? What have I done?!

"Nagisa!" Kayano cried out but as soon as she saw what happened, she covered her mouth in disbelief and tears started building up.

Nakamura grabbed my shoulder, pulling me away from the scene, her face somewhere between rage and horror: "What were you thinking?!"

My lips trembled, unable to utter a single word.

"Did you seriously smash his head against a rock?! He said he surreneders!" She screamed, attracking the attention of those who hadn't gathered around me by now.

"What were you thinking?! NAGISA!" This time, it was Meahara-kun. His look said it all - they couldn't believe I did something so horrible.

I felt tear drops streaming down my face: "I'm so sorry. I didn't want to, I didn't-"

Isogai-kun and Kanzaki-san stood up for my pitiful self: "We know you didn't... but-"

But Karma-kun was still lying there, pale and bleeding. Koro-sensei had brought bandage from who knows where and he with the teachers were now treating his wound. I didn't have the courage to approach them.

I don't know how long has passed. But my leggs wouldn't move. I stood there, motionless, feeling nauseus. My gaze was locked to the ground.

"He's awake!" Kataoka-san announced, making everyone run towards the redhead. His eyes were open, puzzled for a while and then remembering. About me knocking him out. About me hurting him. He touched his head and abrubtly sat up, earning protests from everyone around.

He didn't listen to senseis or to the class. He headed towards me, his stare making me want to disappear. Karma-kun was swaying, making everyone securing him. If the knife I had was real, I would have already slit my useless throat.

The teen was now standing before me and I lost it.

"I'm so sorry," I sniffled, the stream getting stronger. "I'm so sorry, Karma-kun! I didn't want to, I'm such a horrible person, please kill me, punish me, do something. Punch me, kick me, whatever is fine! Just kill me, please."

But what I got was completly different. Arms stretched out, he hugged me. He held me tight as if saying that it was okay.

"Why?" I asked, wetting his vest.

But I never got an answer.

Karma-kun was a strange one. He forgave me and yet, his eyes were those of hurt, of betrayal. I wondered if there was any way to make him stop looking like that.

I wondered if there was any way to save our friendship.

The answer never came.


Okay, this was must have been intense and horrible! I'm sorry, I'm pretty sure this disappointed you guys. So just to make sure, I wrote an alternative to this.

This is a different rote from when Nagisa pushes Karma down, thinking that he hurt him:


Adrenaline beclouded my mind, making everything from the outside disappear. Not even a sound, nothing to see - only the aim I set. Suddenly, Karma-kun somehow managed to switch to his side, slowly finding the way to free himself. I was scared. I panicked, afraid, and used all of my strenght left to push him down again.

That's when something disturbing reached my fingers. Horrified, I realized that the boy under me stopped struggling altogether. And now that my eyes finally opened, the reality hit me. There was blood. Lots of blood.

"Karma-kun?" I inhaled deeply, panic completly taking over.

"Karma-kun!" I let go and saw what I have done - there was blood coming from his head. The boy under me wasn't moving. He wasn't moving!

My head was a mess. What was I supposed to do?! What in the world have I-

"Ugh," the boy's eyes stirred and as he opened them, I started crying and wrapped my arms around him in relief. He wasn't dead. Karma-kun was going to be okay!

Poke

Suddenly, something pointy touched my back and I abruptly sat up to see a grinning redhead under me.

"Gotcha~" he sent me a kiss and I noticed that he was holding a knife which could have been what just stabbed my back.

"You didn't-" I hissed, my voice incredibly cold.

"Indeed, I did," he laughed, pulling himself up and showing me the bottle of red paint half empty. He... HE USED THE DAMN PAINT TO SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF ME AND STAB ME!?


Aaaaand that was a completle bullshit. You know what, if I'm on the bullshit spree what about this:


Even though I used my clapping technique, the effect it had on Karma-kun was minimal. He bit his tongue which helped him concentrate of the fight.

But still, this was a wonderful chance. Running forward, I was determined to finish this.

Suddenly, the redhead fell to his knees, barfing blood. Surprised and worried, everyone ran towards him. I did not hesitate to come to his side since he did not hold a knife.

"Karma-kun, what's wrong!" I asked, shaking his shoudlers. My friend finally raised his head.

The look on him was something difficult to describe. He was shedding tears while horribly swearing.

"FACK I ASAŮLSKJF&# ]#€§ ?!" He tried to say something but it wasn't comprehensible.

And a waterfall of blood came from his mouth.

That's when I realized he bit the tongue too hard.


Ahahahaha... .ha.

Ok, I expect fire. I expect lots of criticism because this was seriously horrible. I'm so sorry for disappointing you guys!