With You

Rose is back.

She came back once before, when you were forming. She helped you, she saved you, she saved the Earth, she bubbled you. She has been gone a long time- not long long long, but long enough- and now she is back. You are glad happy glad.

You cannot see her, but you can feel her, radiating through every facet of your beings. Grand and warm and gentle. Friendly, familiar, so familiar… not quite sure how, none of you are quite sure how, or why, none of you are sure of anything really, you think you might know Rose from Before but you're not certain.

But Rose is a friend. You know that. Rose helped you. Rose helped all of you. Rose is kind.

"Hello," you say. "Hellohellohellohellohello."

"Hey!" Rose says back. Rose is very small, but she seems big.

No. Wait. Rose is big, isn't she? No. Maybe? Maybe. You're confused confused confused.

"It's been a while," Rose continues. "How are you doing?"

"Good. Good better nice good better thank you better."

Rose beams. "Awesome! That's great!"

It is great. You are great. All of you are. Or most of you. It's confusing, sometimes. And scary. Sometimes that loneliness comes back, that incompleteness, the sense that something's missing, so many things are missing, and you want to reach out, reach out reach out reach out

But no. You don't need to reach out. You are here. You and you and you. All of you.

You can remember things, about yourself and yourselves. Fragmented and disjointed, but you've pieced it all together. Some of it. Most of it? There was heat and cold and Homeworld and space and Earth and Diamonds and duties and fear and fighting and rebellion and capture and death and and and and…

You flare, with fear and terror.

Too much, too much. Rose is screaming, thrashing, you're hurting Rose!

You clamp down. "Sorry sorry sorry."

Rose seems a little afraid. But mostly sad. Or worried? "Are… are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes yes. No. Yes," you say, after brief argument with yourself. "Not always good. But mostly. Sorry. Sorry."

Rose seems a little weaker, but she still shines with power. "No, don't say… don't say sorry. It's fine. I'm fine. But are you sure you're all fine?"

You're not sure. You flicker with thoughts. "Not. Not fine," you eventually manage. "But better."

You feel Rose smile. "You definitely seem more… put together. More whole."

You hum in wordless agreement.

Rose seems to bask in that hum, and then says. "Hey. I wanted to talk to you about something. About forming—"

"Can't form. Can't form. Nononono. Can't form. Earth. Will destroy Earth."

"Yeah! Yeah, I know," interrupts Rose. "But what if I was to… move you? Into space? Then, if we popped the bubble, and you'd be far enough away that you could form without hurting anyone. But only if you wanted to."

Move you? Into… space?

Space. Space. Gems come from space. You come from space. Most of you does, or did, at least. You think of stars and galaxies and spiralling nebulae and asteroids. Space.

You would like to see space. Again. For the first time.

But can you?

You are in the Earth. You are in a Bubble. You are not in space.

Wait wait wait wait. Memories pull at you. Bubbles. Bubbles can be moved, can be teleported.

To temples. Temples. Not space.

Temples in space?

"Can you?" you ask, with the roar of a thousand whispers.

"Yes!" says Rose Quartz. "At least, we think we can. But only if that's what you want."

What you want .

The words echo, again and again and again, so familiar, so new, what do you want?

"Yes," you say. "Yes yes yes yes."

Rose radiates with joy. "Okay! Great! I'll see you soon, alright?"

She vanishes. You are alone again.

No. Not alone. Never alone.

What will happen? What what what what? Nothing feels different. Same stillness. Same same same.

Did Rose lie? She wouldn't lie, you don't think, but maybe you're wrong. Wrong no no no space you want space, you want her to be telling the truth. Please, don't leave, not again, not again, want space.

The bubble breaks.

You don't feel it. Not exactly. You feel its absence, sudden and stark.

And with it, the old the desire. The pressure. The want to- the have to- the need to form .

Already you're stretching, arms, arms, arms, reaching, but wait wait wait, stop. Wait. Think. Take time, take time.

Already taken time! So so long!

More time! Patience ! Think, think, how you want to be, how do you want to shape yourself?

It is agonising. There is a pressure, a desperation, pressing on each of your shards. But you hold your minds together, thoughts spark, and an image forms; single and coherent. The light insides your shards shines with it, and you begin to stretch.

You stretch your legs. Only two of them. You stretch your arms— arm after arm after arm. You count them, one after the other— onetwothreefourfive- sixseveneightnineten-eleventwelvethirteenfourteenfifteen - sixteenseveneighteennineteentwenty- twenty. Twenty. Yes. Good number. Not too many. You stretch them up and out, flexing them, feeling their strength, your strength.

You open your eyes. And you see. You see so, so much, all around you, that for a moment you are dazzled. You try to make sense of it all, the shapes, the colors.

There is blackness. An infinite void. But there is light, too, distant prickling lights. Stars. You think you could name all of them, maybe, if you really focused. There is another star, closer, soft and yellow. You reach five of your hands out to it. It is far away still, but you feel its distant warmth, and a dozen of your eyes flicker closed with pleasure. So so so long since you felt sunlight, so so so long…

So many other things to see though. Floating rocks, asteroids; planets, far away, some so far they're barely visible and…

and

Green and blue and white. A beautiful sphere, hanging far above you. You gaze in wonder. Earth.

"Home."

You say it with a dozen mouths. You are in the void, there is no atmosphere, no air to carry your words, yet somehow, you feel them reverberate.

"Wow ," Rose says.

You cannot see Rose, only feel her in the back of your minds. She says, "Look down."

You do, your head tilting, eyes searching. Below, you spot a spaceship. A small spaceship, you think, you could cup it in your hands. You reach out, pick it up, and you are right. It sits easily in one of your palms.

Maybe the spaceship is not small, it is simply that your hand is very big.

"Do you see us?" asks Rose, still in your minds.

You focus. At the front of the spaceship, there is a window. You hold the ship up closer, closer, closer to peer inside.

There are Gems inside. They are very very small.

You strain to recognize them. One is blue. Sapphire turquoise aquamarine lapis larimar moonstone. Which one? Slender. Winged. A lapis lazuli, then. You have known lapis lazulis, parts of you were lapis lazuli, a different one, not this one, you don't think.

For a moment you're seized with the urge to reach out, to take this gem— but no, no, no, that will not help. The lapis in the ship looks scared. You don't want to scare her.

You do not need her. You only need yourselves.

You smile.

There are other gems inside, as well. Who, what, are they? One is even tinier than the others, bright green. You filter through your many, many memories. Do you know her? No, no, you do not.

Another one is big. Big and orange, a quartz, a jasper. Again, you have known jaspers, you are part jasper. Do you know this jasper? Maybe— you remember smoke, a fire, a screaming, a battle, you roar, roar roar roar. You fought this jasper, she killed you—

"It's okay !" Rose's voice is back, holding you, but you still can't see her. "We're all friends, it's okay!"

Okay? Okay okay okay. Friends.

But friends are people you know. Do you know these gems? You're not sure. You look again.

Another quartz. Purple. An amethyst. Very small. Too small? You do not know her.

Next is a pearl.

No. Not a pearl. The Pearl.

You can see her forehead gem, you can feel her, bright and sharp, you have fused with her, parts of you have, at least. You could never forget.

Renegade fighter rebel warrior general leader fearsome terrifying friend .

"Pearl!" you say. You see her eyes widen. Fear? Surprise? "Pearl. Hello. Hello hello."

She can hear you, you are certain. But when she opens her mouth, you cannot hear her.

"Do you remember her?" Rose asks.

"Yes yes yes, we remember, I do."

Pearl's hand flies to her mouth. She is crying, you think. It is hard to tell. You wonder why she is crying. Did you make her sad?

"She says hello," says Rose. Her voice is so warm. You feel so warm.

There is someone else next to her, taller. For a moment, you cannot recognise her. But then, it slots into place. She looks so different. Or maybe your memories are just wrong. But. No. Her resonance is the same. "Garnet?"

The gem smiles. She takes off her glasses, stares at you with three eyes.

Yes! Yes yes yes! It is her! The first fusion. Two of your hands clap together in excitement, you can't help yourself. The spaceship shakes with the force of it.

"Woah ," says Rose. "Careful! Garnet's happy to see you, too!"

"Happy," you murmur. And then, "Rose, Rose, where are you ?"

Hesitance. For the first time, Rose is hesitant.

"Rose?" you ask.

In the spaceship, someone steps forward. You had not noticed it before. Not a gem, you think. A human? Or…?

The someone is small. It is almost as small as the green and purple ones. It is red and pink and yellow and brown and blue. It looks right at you, and waves.

"I'm… I'm not Rose Quartz," the voice in your minds says. "I'm her son."

"Sun? Sun sun sun?"

"No, son ," the voice counters, pressing against the image of a star your minds had conjured. "I mean like 'child'. A human, with her gem. That's… that's why you thought I was her. But, I'm not. Not really. My name's Steven."

You frown. Your mind is filled with chittering confusion, it is hard to focus. Finally, you think you reach some sort of understanding. "Part human… part Rose?"

In the ship, Steven nods. In your mind, he says, "Right."

Ah. Ah, ah, yes! Yes, now you understand. "Fusion! You're a fusion!"

"Err, well, sort of?" Steven's body shrugs. "I don't… I don't have any of Rose's memories, or anything…"

You nod. That's okay. You don't have all of your memories, either.

"Fusion," you say. Definitive. You press one of your arms to your chest. "Like me."

Slowly, Steven smiles. "Yeah. Like you."

You smile back, with all dozen of your mouths.

You hold the spaceship close, watching your friends, old, new, while your other eyes stare into the distance of space. Another watches the Earth, protective.

The Earth is still here, after all this time. And so are you.

All of you.

oOoOoOo

Author's Note: This was definitely a bit of an experiment for me, and a challenging one at that. But I couldn't help it. Gem Drill gave me so many different feelings, especially when the Cluster called Steven 'Rose' and got so scared about destroying the Earth by accident.

Thanks to LadyRavenEye for beta'ing this beast!