Spiraling out of control chapter 19

Anakin was startled awake late in the morning hours by loud cry sounding from across the room. He stood up quickly making his way to his padawan's quarters where he found her thrashing violently in her bed. Making his way over to her side he kneeled down and began shaking her "Ahsoka, Ahsoka wake up" he said. The emotions rolling off his padawan were a mixture of fear, disbelief and anger "He's alive why won't you believe me" she said loudly. "No he's not dead I know he's not!...you abandoned him" she continued as her body continued to thrash.

"Ahsoka it's just a dream wake up" Anakin said shaking her harder. "You…you left him…I thought you cared…" she whispered. "Ahsoka wake up!" Anakin yelled. "I have to find him…you..you wont stop me" Ahsoka said, Anakin shacked her even harder "You wont stop me!" she yelled startling herself wide awake. Her lightsaber flew from her nightstand and the crimson blade came to life and flew toward Anakin's neck. Stopping only millimeters from his throat her eyes went wide when she realized it was Anakin.

She pulled the lightsaber away "Master…what are you doing in here?" she asked. "You were yelling so I came in and found you having a bad dream so I tried to wake you up" he said. She turned the lightsaber off and placed it beside her "Sorry…I didn't mean to wake you. I'm fine it was just a dream" she said. Anakin placed a hand on her shoulder and gave her a comforting smile "Alright Ahsoka just try and get some rest ok" he said before standing up and heading back to his room.

Ahsoka looked over at her crono, it was only 2300 hours and she didn't think she'd be able to sleep again if she tried so she waited until she was sure her master was asleep. Ten minutes later once she was sure he would not catch her sneaking out she stood up grabbing her cloak and lightsaber and snuck out of the room. As she walked quietly through the temple halls she began to wonder why she was even a Jedi anymore. It was something that had crossed her mind since she first pleaded with the council that Anakin was alive. It was obvious that they didn't care, about her about Anakin and probably about the other Jedi even. She though they had, thought they would have tried harder, she had believed in them and they did nothing to help her find Anakin. It made her wonder who else the Jedi council would abandon.

Her blood boiled with anger at the thought of the council now. Once she had looked up to them as the most noble and caring members of the Jedi order. She would often seek out Master Plo or even Master Yoda when she was troubled because she had believed that they had all the answers but oh how she was wrong. They were liars, traitors and just cold hearted. She couldn't trust them, couldn't believe them not anymore and never again not after they had left Anakin to die.

After a ride from the temple she arrived at the usual bar in the lower levels that she went to and walked inside. At least here she wouldn't be chastised about her sour mood like she would have been at the temple. She wasted no time once her drink had been brought to her, picking it up with one hand she began downing the content inside. She downed half of the liquor inside of the cup before sitting the glass down and resting her head back against the wall for a moment. The burn in the throat and the numbing in her mind felt good, really good.

As the late hours of the night turned in to the early hours of the following morning Ahsoka lost count of how many drinks she had. For the past thirty minutes she had been drawling quiet a bit attention to herself as she raved about the Jedi council. "Bunch of stuck up self righteous snobs. The high and might Jedi council knows best…well they can shove a dreadnought up their asses because…they left my friend to die" she slurred out as she downed the last bit of liquor in her glass. Looking up at the bar tender with glazed eyes "Bring me another" she said. "Miss I think you have had enough" the bartender replied shaking his head.

It took her a moment to focus her eyes on the man before she stood up and stumbled her way over to him "I said another" she snapped. "Ma'am your drunk and you're disrupting my other customers. You've had you share now go home" the bartender replied firmly. "I wasn't asking, you get paid to serve drinks not tell me when I've had enough" Ahsoka replied in a low threatening tone, a firm hand was placed on her shoulder "You've caused enough ruckus for the night its time you left" a deep voice said from behind her. "Take your hand off me if you want to keep it" Ahsoka said attempting to shrug the hand off of her. The hand simply tightened and began to turn her around, Ahsoka hand began to fumble inside of her cloak for the lightsaber that hung from her belt.

It took her longer but her hand grasped around the curved hilt and the blood red black sprung to life and not a moment later that hand that was grabbing a hold of her suddenly fell to the floor. Who she guessed was the bouncer or some kind of guard staggered back clutching his wrist and cried out in pain. Being that this was the lower level of Coruasant violence was common in bars down here so the other members paid little attention to the chaos.

Her eyes turned back to the bar tender and the crimson blade still held to her side "Another" she growled. Quickly another glass was placed in front of her and more liquor was poured in half way. "More" she snapped and the bartender filled it three quarters of the way full. She stared at the glass then glared at the bartender "Unless you want your head removed from you shoulders then fill it up!" she said. The bartender filled the glass to the brim and quickly began to move away from her "leave the bottle" she said. The man looked at her for a moment before sitting the bottle down next to the glass then quickly walked to the other side of the bar to tend to his other customers. She turned the lightsaber off and put it back on her belt then pulled a stool up and sat down. She took the glass and continued to drink for some time.

She stumbled out of the bar taking another drink from the bottle she had in her hand before throwing it at a near by wall "Stupid Jedi council!" she said. She arrived back at the temple as the first rays of sunshine began to peak above some of the lower buildings on Coruasant. Stumbling down the halls of the temple she made it to her shared room with her master and walked inside. Her hands fumbled around for the button that opened her room but she eventually got it open and staggered inside.