Chapter 8

What I've Done

"Today this ends
I'm forgiving what I've done"

-Linkin Park, "What I've Done"

Lucy barely managed to catch the next train to Clover. She hadn't even stopped by her apartment to collect anything so she had only her key pouch and whip with her. Lucy placed the two new charms on the bracelet and played with them absently as she watched the scenery pass. Not nearly soon enough for her, the train finally made it. She leapt up and made it to the solid ground of the station before realizing that she had no idea where to go next.

"Lucy!"

The blonde whipped her head to the right as she heard her name, and she smiled widely as Pantherlily dropped down for a hug. After squeezing him tightly, Lucy held the Exceed out in front of her so she could look at him.

"Okay, Lily, what's going on?" Lucy asked in what she hoped was a stern tone. The Exceed smiled at her, but he shook his head.

"All I can tell you at the moment is that Gajeel took a job building a statue to commemorate the new mining operation. Apparently it's going to do wonders for the town's economy so the mayor is throwing a bit of a celebration. Come on."

Lily slipped out of her grip and flew behind Lucy to grab onto her back before lifting into the air. He flew them both over the town buildings to a small square to the east which was crowded with people. There was a large object in the center where a fountain would normally go; it was covered in a beige tarp. Lily set Lucy down towards the front of the crowd and settled on Lucy's shoulder. A small man in a suit, who Lucy assumed must be the mayor, stood next to her former client in front of the tarp. Lucy let her eyes roam over the crowd as the mayor gave a short speech about the coming economic boom. She didn't see the distinctive spiked hair of the iron dragon slayer anywhere.

"So, without further ado, here is the statue, created by one of the mages responsible for our good fortune, which will grace this square henceforth!" As the mayor concluded, workers behind the statue pulled back the tarp. Lucy's hand drifted to cover her mouth as she took in the sight.

A giant dragon, fashioned from the metal found at the mine, huddled protectively over a bunny resting between its forelegs. Though the work was far larger and even more detailed, Lucy recognized the artistry from the charms on her wrist. The statue gleamed in the late afternoon sunlight. The crowd clapped politely before dispersing to continue their day, but Lucy stayed transfixed. She was so caught up in trying to remember each detail of the piece that she didn't notice Lily leaving her shoulder.

"Do you like it?"

Lucy whipped around to find the slayer who had been so carefully avoiding her finally standing in front of her.

"It's beautiful," she whispered. His red eyes met hers, and she was as captivated by his gaze as she had been by the metal dragon moments before, but she couldn't read his expression. She fought the urge to tackle him until she figured out what he was thinking.

Gajeel felt as though he just jumped from a high building and wasn't sure if he could survive the fall or not. He'd put everything into those charms on her wrist and the statue behind her, but he didn't know if it was enough. He doubted it was. But he didn't know how else to show her his fierce need to claim and protect her despite his deep-seated belief that he had no right to do either of those things. His eyes dropped to the bracelet at her wrist as she fiddled with the charms. He liked seeing his metalwork on her arm, and that scared him. Before he could talk himself out of it, he held out his hand to her.

"Come on. There's something else I want to show you," he said. Lucy placed her hand in his, and he marveled that she hadn't shown the slightest hesitation. He didn't deserve that level of trust for many reasons. Still, he entwined his fingers with hers and led her through the town to the forest. They hiked in silence through the woods for a while before Gajeel stopped and turned to her.

"It'll be quicker if we move through the shadows," he said.

Lucy nodded and moved forwards to wrap her arms around his waist as she tucked her head against his chest. His arms wrapped around her back, and she felt the tingle of magic as her body became nearly weightless. Throughout the brief trip, she felt Gajeel pressed firmly against her. Even when they came to a stop, she wasn't ready to let go. She wanted this for just a little longer; something deep within her whispered "safe" while she was huddled in his embrace. Finally, she drew back. She was surprised that Gajeel hadn't made the first move away from her, but he didn't even comment on the extended hug. He just held out his hand again and spun her around so she could take in the view.

He had brought her to the foothills surrounding the mountain. From their vantage point at the top of one of the hills, she could see the forest stretching out for miles with the sun just beginning to sink below the horizon as it painted the treetops in red and gold. Lucy took a deep breath of the fresh forest air, which immediately left her in a whoosh as Gajeel pulled her to the ground. He had propped his back against a tree, and Lucy found herself sitting in between his legs with her back against his chest. He didn't hold her there, so she could move away if she wanted, but Lucy definitely did not want to. As she settled against him, his arms came to wrap around her. He held another of the jewelry boxes in his right hand.

Lucy opened it to find a silver bunny; it was a miniature version of the one from the statue. Lucy clipped it with the others at her wrist before leaning her head back against Gajeel's shoulder. She held up her arm so she could look at them all shimmering in the light of the sunset while her other hand rested on Gajeel's arm around her waist.

"I'm sorry, Bunny," Gajeel whispered. She shivered at the breath on her ear, but she turned slightly so she could look up at him.

"It's okay," she said. "Well, okay, it's not okay."

"No, it's not," Gajeel agreed. He glanced down at her before returning his gaze to the sunbathed trees. "The past two weeks were bad enough, but nothing I've done since I met you has been okay."

"Gaj, I already told you—," Lucy started to say, but Gajeel cut her off by placing one of his hands on her lips.

"Just let me get it out, Lucy," he said. "I'm bad enough at this as it is. That's why I wanted to give you the bracelet and the statue. Levy suggested the quotes since I'm so bad with words. But I know it's not enough to make you understand on its own."

Gajeel sighed. His fingers lingered at Lucy's lips for a moment longer before dropping down to her waist again.

"The hardest part was figuring out where to start. There's so many reasons you shouldn't want me."

Lucy started to protest again, but he fixed a red glare on her, and she stopped.

"Phantom Lord's the obvious one. Both hurting you and hurting your best friend. And I know you already forgave me for that. Ain't the point. It's still there for me. Always will be. But that's not it."

He shifted behind her. She was trying to concentrate on his words, but it was difficult being so close to him. Even before he started completely avoiding her, being held by Gajeel like this was just a fantasy. He'd been too wrapped up in Juvia to give her a second glance. At least, she had assumed he hadn't noticed her.

"It started when Jose sent me after you," he murmured. "I told the others I was beating you because I was bored of waiting. Wasn't it, though. I felt it as soon as I saw you; I knew you could be the one, and it pissed me off."

Lucy's brow furrowed in confusion as she turned to face the nearly vanished sun. He'd lost her somewhere in his attempt at an explanation. Gajeel sensed the tension that appeared in her body, and he knew he was fucking it up again. He hooked an arm under her legs and swung her around so she was sitting sideways in his lap where he could actually see her face.

"How much do you know about dragon slayer mates?" Gajeel asked.

"Just that the slayers are fiercely protective of them," Lucy said. Rogue had told her about his suspicions, but she didn't really believe it at the time.

"It's a weird situation," Gajeel said. "There's some choice involved, but Metallicana told me there are only a handful of people you meet in life that will fit the bill. Something inside of them just calls to the slayer part. I'd never met somebody that did that to me. Until you. That's why I was angry."

"I still don't understand," Lucy said. Gajeel groaned.

"There's no way for me to say this without making you mad, but I got to get it all out there. I want you to understand me, and that's something I've never wanted from another person before." Gajeel was agitated, but he managed to keep eye contact with her as he continued. "You were weak. A scared little bunny rabbit being protected by her guild. A rich princess who ran away from home. There shouldn't have been anything to make me want you, but my magic said there was."

"So you lashed out at me to prove your magic wrong," Lucy whispered. Her chin dropped to her chest. The sadness in her voice twisted Gajeel's heart, and he pulled her closer as he curved his body more around her.

"Yes. But turns out, you just proved it right. You fought me. Not physically, but you were still fighting. That's when I chose you. Didn't even realize it at the time. From that day on there was no one for me but you, but I still fought it. Denied it."

"So, Juvia?" Lucy asked. She risked a glimpse at Gajeel's face, and her heart clenched at the pained look she found there. She ducked her head again.

"That ain't what you think, either," Gajeel said. He moved his arm from under her legs to bring a finger to her chin. Once she was looking at him again, he said, "I wanted to believe there was something there. Mostly because I knew I didn't deserve you. I'm still not sure that I do, but there wasn't anything between me and Juvia. Not really. I realized it when—."

He broke off abruptly, and by the hard set of his jaw, Lucy knew he was thinking of their mission together. She brought a hand up to his cheek and smiled.

"Thank you for telling me all of this," she whispered. As she stared up into his eyes, she saw the pain and regret he still harbored, and she wanted nothing more than to remove that look. She wanted to show him that deserving her or not had nothing to do with her feelings for him. She used the hand on his cheek to guide his lips to hers. She tried to pour all of her feelings for him into the kiss: The safety she felt in his arms, the warmth in her chest when she saw him, the forgiveness she'd been harboring for so long. When she finally pulled back for air, she smiled at the slightly dazed look on his face. She gently traced over the piercings on his face with her fingertips, and he closed his eyes with a sigh of contentment.

Things weren't perfectly tied off with a pretty bow like the packages he had left for her, but it was a start. She had a chance to really be with him now, and that was really all she had been hoping for to begin with. There were still many things that she didn't know, but she felt confident that he wouldn't just run away from her again. She laced her fingers with his as Gajeel opened his eyes again. They both turned to look at the sky, which was now coated in stars. She felt the pulse in his wrist where their arms were pressed together, and it slowly fell into rhythm with hers, or perhaps hers fell in with his. She breathed in the night air with the slight metallic musk of the man she'd loved for so long with so little hope of having the affection returned. She sighed happily and nuzzled closer to him.

It wasn't perfect, but it was pretty damned close.

A/N: I'm going to go ahead and mark this as complete, though I may include an epilogue to fill in any blanks left by this chapter. Let me know if there's something in particular you'd like to see!

Thanks to everyone who's followed and faved. And thanks to Marsfish, MistressAva, HimePurpleHawk, jj, and Merble for reviewing the last chapter. You all seriously make me smile :D