Chapter 3: The great "You pulled a gun on me more times than I puled a gun on you" debate.

Like many disasters that could have easily been avoided but ended up happening instead, it starts with an offhand remark by Ray, because of course it does.

And like Mick with a matchstick standing in an endless meadow, everything soon goes up in flames.

Stein hears the heated argument all the way from his room, and makes his way to the control room to see what the commotion is about this time. Just a minute of listening to it silently, and he can't take it anymore. He is ready to condescend, and this needs condescending desperately. "You know, Clarissa and I used to fight over whose turn it is to do the dishes, or who said what about the family, or perhaps where to have a Christmas dinner." He shakes his head to emphasize his disbelief, and leaves before he becomes the target of the quibbling couple's misdirected anger, but not without one last comment- "I honestly never thought I'd ever see a couple who fight over who tried to kill the other more times. Congratulations."

Leonard nods proudly and Sara grins before they return their attention back to the argument at hand.

Mick, for the most part, is thoroughly enjoying this. He sips on his beer and watches the evidence of how Leonard Snart has finally met his match, in every possible way- someone who can press his buttons and get him to argue and keep up with him during the argument. After the first half hour though, it is clear that the situation will not escalate and neither will blow anything up, and it gets a little boring. "Let it go, Barbie. Snart and I have pulled our guns on each other more times than we can count. You don't see us whining about it."

Sara answers that by directing her deadliest glare at him. He might be Len's long time partner, but he's her friend too, and he's not supposed to be picking sides.

Also, she might pull a gun on him just for calling her Barbie.

Mick instantly corrects his mistake. Well, the one he notices anyway. Neutrality is his friend here. He turns his focus to his partner. "Since when do you lose your cool, Snart? This is a dumb fight."

Leonard too answers with a glare of his own. Couples do start to resemble each other after a while after all.

With a shrug, Mick returns to his very important business of getting drunk while watching the live reality show.

Jax stands between the two to make sure neither actually draw fire, just in case. Ray wanted to do it, but everyone knows how that would have the exact opposite effect on Snart, so no. He has been ordered unanimously by everyone to stay in the corner and keep his mouth shut. He is mostly quiet, except for his loud munching on a bag of chips.

Kendra is, as usual, the only one actually trying to stop the fight and resolve the issue and make sure nobody is hurt.

So far, so bad. Here's how the scorecard looks:

Leonard threatened to kill Sara when she turned the thermostat in their room up to an unpleasant degree of warmth, used his precious cold gun for the trivial task of adding ice to her vodka, stole his wallet because how dare she steal from a master thief, used his Carmen Electra poster for target practice, and most importantly, used the sleeves of his parka to wipe her smudged mascara on their second date.

Sara threatened to kill Leonard when she found him using her shampoo for his non-existent hair, her knives as a bottle opener, her bed as a trampoline for Ray (don't ask), and that one time he teased her about the waitress she was flirting with.

And the further they go down memory lane, moving from arguing over one thing to the next, the more it seems like this conversation is never going to end.

Finally, it's Ray who breaks. "Okay, okay, stop! So that's your thing! It's kind of cute. Well, in a completely dysfunctional way. Threatening to kill each other is your way of saying I love you."

Mick, Len, Sara, and Jax collectively groan at hearing that.

"I'll kill you if you ever bring up the l-word again," Snart warns.

"Aww, you love Ray," Sara coos.

"You love Martin then," Leonard shoots back, reminding her of her death threat back in the 1950s.

"You love Barry," she counters.

"Here we go again," Kendra mumbles, hands up in the air in defeat, as Ray's offhand remark starts off yet another fight, because of course it does.