Authors Note – I finally got around to writing a new chapter – Really super hope you all enjoy.

"I just… I can't believe it" she murmured, tugging him into her office and slamming the door shut behind her, "nine months Barry… I was honestly starting to believe you wouldn't wake up"

"Lost faith in me?" he teased with a cheeky smile but as much as she tried to smile back she just-she couldn't. Seeing Barry was a massive shock to the system, a good one, sure, but her life had gone downhill so much in nine months that having something actually good happen totally knocked her off her feet.

"Oh hey, no, I'm sorry" Barry swept forward, bringing her into a gentle hug as she started crying, "that was totally insensitive and I should've called first – please don't faint on me"

"I'm just so happy to see you, that's all" she cried, clinging to the back of his shirt, "you have no idea"

"I'm sorry" he whispered again, "if I could've woken up sooner, I would"

She pulled back, blinking past the tears threatening to fall, "at least you're okay, that's all that matters to me" she said honestly, "you're all that matters to me… uh… heh, I mean, you and all the other people in my life" she laughed awkwardly, "you're not that special Allen"

He grinned, showing his dimples, "it's so good to see you Kez. What's been happening these past nine months? With you I mean?"

She froze, shifting from foot to foot, "Honestly? I…" she paused, craving opening up to him but wondering if she would just open that massive can of worms, "some pretty bad stuff" she admitted honestly, "stuff I'm not proud of. It's been pretty rock bottom lately"

He frowned in worry, reaching out for her hand, "Kenzie, you can talk to me. I'm here now"

"I know" she nodded, "but I… I don't want you looking at me any differently"

"I would never" he vowed, guiding her to sit down on the leather couch, perching next to her, "you're my best friend Kez"

She sucked in a deep breath, running her hands through her loose hair and peeking over to him, "I uh… I got kicked off my PHD programme-" his eyes widened a little in shock at that, "-lost my flat, had way too many drunken nights out and made some questionable decisions with guys – some whose names I didn't even find out – and all because I couldn't deal with loosing you. How pathetic is that?"

He looked at her sadly, "It's not pathetic" he disagreed, softly shaking his head as he reached up and caught some loose hair that had slipped out in front of her face, gently tucking it behind her ear, "you were hurting… didn't Iris help? Or Joe? You could've spoke to your mom?"

"Yeah, kinda hard when she's moved halfway across the world" his eyebrows raised high in shock, "I don't know, she met some rich guy, took off on his private jet to Germany – we skype but it's just not the same, y'know? And Iris and Joe… they've been great. They have" because it was true, she couldn't fault their support, "I just…" she didn't know what she was trying to say, how she could even begin to explain the hell the last nine months had caused her without appearing weak and clingy and way too needy. She literally couldn't function until now, talk about co-dependant much?

"Kez?" he gently prompted and she just shook her head, plastering a smile on her face.

"Nothing. Everything's fine now" she nodded, "I'm so glad you're back" she added, not even giving him a second to prepare himself before she pulled him into another tight hug, grabbing at his clothes and not preparing to let him go, "please don't ever do that again"

He chuckled against her neck before sucking in a sharp breath at how hard she was squeezing him but he didn't mind, not one bit, "you have my word"

And that was all she needed to hear.

She pulled back, discreetly rubbing at her eyes to rid them of the tears and smiled brightly, "oh and by the way I moved in to your apartment"

He laughed, "I'm glad you finally took me up on my offer. Only took getting struck by lightning to do it"

She slapped his chest playfully, "I was homeless. Plus I tried to keep the place as tidy as possible. And yes, before you ask, you still have the master bedroom, relax"

"Sweeeet"

She smirked, "hope you don't mind me as a roomie"

"You always initiate the pizza eating compititions, of course I don't mind you as a roomie"

"Oh so it's for the pizza is it? Not because I'm one of your best friends?" she teased, nudging him playfully.

"That too" he quipped, "speaking of pizza, tonight, our place?"

Our place… kinda had a nice ring to it.

"Of course" she smiled, "I need someone to fight over the extra pepperoni with"

He laughed, sending her a wink as he jumped to his feet and despite being out of commission for nine months, he still had that lanky, athletic yet overly clumsy feel to him and she smiled as she realised that things hadn't changed. Not one bit.

"It's on Kez" he leaned down, pressing a light kiss to her forehead, one that he never really thought about but she still quirked at eyebrow at but let it pass, not bringing it to attention, hell she wasn't even sure he realised he did it himself, "I'll see you later okay?"

"Sure thing" she nodded, watching his spaztic-self leave the office in a haste of lanky limbs and smiled at the image, finally feeling that continuous uncomfortable knotting in her gut loosen.

Maybe things were finally looking up.

She left her office that same day to grab some lunch, a bounce in her step and an unwavering smile on her face as she did so, that constant worry and panic now no longer there.

She felt happy… for the first time in months. Months.

Mackenzie pulled back the door and almost in her haste to buy some greasy fatty food from the burger truck downstairs, amd almost tripped over something laid on the carpet directly outside her door and frowned, glancing both ways suspiciously before picking up the bouquet of flowers gingerly.

She hadn't been on any dates in months, the most she had done was got drunk and got laid, end of story. Wasn't exactly romantic.

She noticed the twelve perfect red roses in her grasp, an uncomfortable shiver running down her spine as she carefully tried to unstick the card from the plastic wrappings but just ended up pricking her finger, the pad of her index finger welling up with blood.

"Ouch" she cursed, bringing it to her lips to soothe before unsealing the envelope, not feeling any better about this whole situation.

The only person that had ever bought her a dozen red roses was her ex, Tom Hillson. The one she broke up with and who pestered her for months. The one she, coincidentally, hadn't heard from in ages. Months even. Nine to be exact.

Her gut churned, her eyes carefully reading over the block letters.

'I'll see you very, very soon'.

She dropped the roses, hating the sudden unease spreading through her veins as she glanced once again at the near empty corridor, as if searching for a pair of eyes looking back at her.

Maybe she should've listened to Barry and recognised his, then, harmless pestering could turn into something much more sinister.

"Okay so I can run real quick and now, what? Miraculously heal myself? What the hell is going on?"

"That is what we're wanting to find out" Caitlin reassured, giving him a brief half smile before glancing back down at her tablet and resuming tapping, "don't worry Barry"

Easier said than done, he felt like saying but kept his mouth shut, absentmindedly rubbing at his wrist as he stepped up from perching at the end of bed but Cisco stepping in front of him blocked his way.

"Okay so now the serious crap is out the way, be straight here with me brother okay? Were you or were you not hooking up with that chic? You know, the one with the great body and amazing pair of – uh… eyes" he fumbled with as Barry shot him a glare, "eyes, yeah, I totally meant eyes there. So blue"

"What?"

"I have a bet with Caitlin"

"You most certainly do not" the scientist shot back, alarmed.

"Do too. You got fed up with me speculating so you agreed to take me up on that bet to shut me up"

"I wasn't being serious about it"

"Too late now" Cisco laughed, popping the red lollipop back in his mouth and grinning widely at Barry, "So do please tell all"

"Uh…" he flushed a little under Cisco's intense stare, "um no. Kez is just my friend"

"I'm not convinced" Cisco stated, shaking his head in disappointment, "liar"

"I'm not lying"

"Liar liar, pants on fire"

"Cisco-"

"Sorry, but just friends don't visit their just-friend every day for seven months straight and always leave in tears – just sayin'"

"Wait she…" Barry murmured, frowning thoughtfully, "every day? For seven months?"

"Without fail" Caitlin chipped in, smiling a little, "you have some really great friends Barry"

"Girlfriend" Cisco coughed under his breath, shooting Barry a devil winning smile as he shot him a look like 'really, dude? C'mon', "get in there before someone else does cos' trust me dude, you'll regret it if you don't"

Barry blushed a bright red, turning away from their stares and changing the topic of conversation. He didn't like venturing into 'feelings' or 'attraction', especially with his best friend who told him everything. It was wrong. He shouldn't go there.

And despite being fast, he totally missed Cisco's knowing smile to Caitlin who just rolled her eyes and got back to work.

"We're doing everything we can but it's going to be a long process, I'm going to tell you that now" the surgeon warned glumly, standing there in his scrubs drenched with sweat, patches of blood drying on the green material, "if we stitch her up too early there's a chance she won't be strong enough to make it through another surgery so as long as she's holding up, we're going to keep going"

"What… what kind of injuries are there?" Joe asked tearfully and Barry was hanging onto every word, slowly, piece by piece, feeling himself breaking.

The surgeon paused and that was when Barry knew, for sure, the situation was dire… there was no good to come out of this… he had failed.

"Broken bones, lacerations to the spleen and kidneys, collapsed lung… there also appears to be multiple breakages in the spine" he said delicately, "upon further inspection, we noted this was present in both the cervical and thoracic sections and… and if she pulls through, the likely prognosis is she'll be paralysed from the neck down… I say if very carefully because, the way things are going, I don't think she will make it off the table. But I have seen miracles, and I will try my damn hardest to perform one now, you have my word on that"

Barry hardly heard the last words he spoke, sinking back into his seat and retreating back into his shell.

There was no good ending, he was right.

Either way he had lost her, all because he was too slow. Because by the time he regained his speed he was too late, already hovering over her broken and battered body on the sidewalk. If he was just half a second faster then all this could've been stopped.

Half a second and he could've saved her.

Half a second.

LOL well aware I haven't updated, lost my muse but if everyone still wants me to continue I will happily do so excited where this is headed ha so pleaseeeeeeeeeee review it would mean so much to both me and my muse ha see you all soon I hope