~Name Calling~

"You do understand that this isn't a game, right?" Helen said, watching her children earnestly. It was the Thursday after Violet's eighteenth birthday and they were all sitting down at the family dinner table. Violet grinned knowingly from her place, while Dash was, literally, humming with excitement in his.

"Dash," Helen said, distracted. "You're quivering again; it's making me nervous."

"What?" he glanced down at himself and realized that his edges were blurring. "Sorry," he said, not looking sorry at all, and trembled to a stop. "I'm just excited about this is all."

Helen pursed her lips and wished yet again that she hadn't made that promise to them all those years ago.

'Fine! When Violet turns eighteen you can fight crime without us.' When the kids were still in middle school and the baby was still a baby, this had seemed like the farthest off date she could think of and if it shut them up for the time being, then all was well. 'No Mom and Dad, you can do your own thing together. Unsupervised superpowers. And you can't complain at me until then.'

"Mom you said they could do it," came the squeaky voice to her right. Jack-Jack, always happy to back someone up in a fight, whether or not he knew what was going on, blinked up at her with innocent eyes. "You did said…"

"I know what I said," Helen replied, cutting her eyes to her husband at the other end of the table for help. But Bob only blinked at her in confusion. She sighed.

"Bob," she said evenly. "If the kids are going to start fighting crime on their own, don't there need to be some parameters?"

"Mom," Violet spoke up and Helen cringed inside. Violet always had the best arguments. "We've been doing this as a family for years now," she said. "We know procedure. …After all, we were taught by the best."

"Flattery will get you nowhere young lady," Helen deadpanned. She cut her eyes at Bob again and he blinked once; she nodded in Dash's direction; he shrugged.

"Bob what do you say to their going out Friday night on their own?" she prompted, tone steely. His brow cleared and he fixed Dash with a stern look.

"Oh yes," he said importantly. "It's very dangerous stuff. You're going to have to be careful.

"And you will be fighting angry, desperate people," Helen continued. "People who will not see you for human beings but as powerful people with masks on."

"Mom," Dash said, giving her what she assumed was meant as a charming grin but came off as a teenaged grimace. "We've got this. We once took down a volcano island single-handedly. Remember?"

"Yeah, remember Mom?" said Jack-Jack. The echo and troll of the family, he really only got away with things because he was cute.

Violet rolled her eyes at Dash across the dining table. "When you say single-handed, you do mean all eight hands involved, right?"

"We just want you to understand the dangers," Bob said. "You can get back to volcano islands soon."

Helen felt the conversation getting out of control. "You'll only be stopping little crimes," she said. "And you will stick to that for a good, long while before returning to any volcano islands."

"But Mom, we dominated—"

"Petty thefts only," she said, raising her voice slightly. "And if you argue anymore I will revoke this privilege altogether. It is not a right." Violet visibly kicked her brother under the table, knowing that their fate was a double sentence no matter what the verdict, and Dash lowered his eyes.

"Yes ma'am," he said.

"And you have to stay together," Bob said.

"Yes sir."

"And Violet is in charge."

"What!" But a quelling look from all sides had Dash subdued again. "Fine," he said.

Bob noted the slouch in his son's shoulders and elbowed him.

"Hey," he said. "It's crime fighting with no mom and dad over your shoulder anymore. Perk up."

"I'm fourteen now," Dash muttered. "You were twelve when you put on the cape."

Helen giggled with a sudden memory.

"Right, right twelve. Ah, what was the name for that identity, honey?" she asked innocently. "Back when you were a boy?" Bob's eyes widened in fear and he shoved a fork of potatoes in his mouth to avoid answering. Violet lit up with a wicked gleam in her eye.

"'O idee," Bob said quickly, and if he'd had heat vision Helen knew her head would have been incinerated by that point.

"I don't know this story!" Dash shouted, affronted. He glanced at Violet, who seemed very satisfied with herself. "You know this story?" He whipped over to his mother. "How come she knows this story!"

"I know this story!" Jack-Jack put in.

"Shut up Jack, no you don't."

"Don't tell your brother to shut up," the parents deadpanned.

"No come on!" Dash cried. "I didn't know Dad had a secret identity when he was a kid!"

"Das cosh 'e didun," Bob insisted, glaring at his wife and daughter. "I didun."

"Wasn't the name…oh…?" Violet said, tapping her chin in put upon ignorance.

Her father swallowed. "Don't do it, Vi," he growled.

"Oh, that was it!" she cried, splaying her fingers in the air. "Wasn't it…Muscley Kid?"

Bob put his head in his hands as the family burst into laughter, Dash slapping his palm on the table and Jack-Jack sliding beneath it in an effort to outdo him. Helen easily slipped and stretched a hand below to wrap him up and hoist him back into his seat, and even then she had to elongate a few extra feet to dominate the five-year-old into sitting still.

"Thank you for sharing that Violet," Bob said as they finally grew quiet, "Really, you're my favorite daughter."

"You mean even more than Dash?"

"Hey!"

"Yes, even more than Dash."

"Hey!"

"That does bring up a good point," Helen said quickly before a fight broke out or Jack-Jack felt compelled to fall apart again. "You two are going to have pick out new names if you're working solo."

"What!"

"Really?"

"But," Violet faltered, looking nervous. "Don't you…do you not want us to be Miss Incredible and Boy Incredible anymore?"

Helen realized her mistake a second too late but before she could back-peddle, Bob had spoken up.

"Of course honey," he said, poking her gently. "You'll always be in the Incredible family when you want to be; but Edna made those alternate suits for you last year in case you wanted an extra set and, well, if you want to forge a new identity with those clothes and without us, it seems like that identity should get a new name too."

"But they'll know it's us," Violet said. "Everyone in the city knows our powers and basically what we look like."

"That's true; but it's a statement. You are growing up, whether or not any of us like it. We're not kicking you out, but here's your chance to prove your own stuff rather than being lumped in with me and your mother."

"Unless you like being included with us dinosaurs," Helen piped up. "You could always wear the red and yellow for the rest of your life."

Violet swallowed.

"What were you thinking for names?" she said.

Helen grinned. "Well, it ought to have something to do with your powers. Random adjectives don't really make much sense."

The barb sailed down the table and straight over Bob's head; only Violet grinned.

"I've been thinking of one," Dash said. He glanced around to make sure they were all listening. "Speedster."

"No."

"Absolutely not."

"Dash I will abandon you."

"I like it."

"Shut up Jack."

"Don't tell your brother to shut up."

"Sorry."

"Thank you."

"Never mind I don't like it."

"Thank you Jack."

"Hey!" Dash cut in, crestfallen. "What's wrong with Speedster?"

"The same thing that was so very wrong with Muscely Kid," Bob muttered. "No. Next. Vi? You got one?"

Violet glanced down at the table. "I don't know, I was thinking…Ghostfield?"

"Jeez Violet," Dash howled, still embarrassed with 'Speedster.' "Ghostfield? Could you be more goth?"

"Fine," she said, blushing. "Then you're…Turbo Boy."

"What, no!" he cried. "Fine, then you're Nobody Girl."

"Hey—Bullet Butt!"

"Invisible Spook!"

"Jiffy Kid!"

"The Phantom Teen!"

"Shelterfunk!"

"Sir Runsalot Sweatsalot!"

"Hey!"

They both turned to look at their mother who, she realized, how raised her neck up six inches with her voice. She settled back down into normal dimensions and fixed them with a look.

"You can't give each other stupid names for fun," she said. "Names are important. I've only ever had two and you want to pick them wisely because you can only start over so often. You've got to work together on this."

"Especially since you'll be working together on the streets," Bob put in.

The kids glowered, but glanced at each other with good-natured grimaces.

"Okay," Violet muttered. "We'll figure something out."