Some time ago, Tomorrow's Romance Dawn was referenced in This Bites! Well, Cross-Brain, I take your reference and raise you this!

(Also, take this as an apology for not updating TRD in forever. I'm actually (hopefully) getting back to that in the coming weeks.)

Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece or This Bites. Only my respective OCs.

SPOILERS AHEAD IF YOU HAVE NOT READ THIS BITES! YET! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

Title: The Gift That Keeps On Giving
Rating: M (for Cross's dirty and unavoidable mouth)
Characters: The Baba Siblings, Carrion, Saffron, Erity, Vaughan, Siobhan and others.
Summary: When you have a transponder snail that can reach every other transponder snail, certain people are bound to start listening.

Honestly, when their ship's old transponder snail started making that strange don don don noise, Runo was expecting it to be some kind of malfunction. After all, they'd gotten it second hand from a trading post and Yari was too cheap to buy anything better- something about conserving their bounties so they didn't starve between jobs or in the New World or whatever nonsense she spouted. Still, it was strange enough that he chose to answer it, if only to see what the deal was.

And holy crap, was it a deal.

"... They can say whether we were there or not, they can claim credit for taking down Crocodile, we don't care. We didn't do it for glory, we didn't do it honor, hell, we didn't even do it for gold, and boy did our navigator give us an earful for that. The point is, the Marines can up our bounties, they can call us criminals, that's all fine, but there's one thing that they're saying that's crossing the line. One thing, one lie… that no matter what, no matter the reasoning, no matter the ends, we cannot—will not—stand for."

He had no idea who this Cross guy was, but calling out the World Government and the Navy like that took balls of wootz steel.

Totally suicidal, sure, but balls nonetheless.

And that was just the big mouth- his entire crew sounded freaking insane. One of the reasons he and his sister left Alabasta was because of how prominent Crocodile became there (no, it wasn't just their banishment, shut up). Skilled as they were, at the time they couldn't compete with a logia-powered warlord. They may have devil fruit powers now and he had already begun to develop the ability called Haki, but getting involved with that freak-nut in any way, shape, or form was just asking for the world to smite you for your stupidity. That was why they'd politely refused (HA!) Croc's offer to join Baroque Works- the fact they were still a little salty about him stealing their business may have also been a factor, but eh, whatever. Point was, they would have never considered taking him on.

The Straw Hats had not only taken him on, but won. The News Coo had not been by yet, but Runo was willing to bet there were going to be several new wanted posters ready for his and Yari's perusal. He'd been about to go fetch her and tell her to listen when Cross brought in another speaker.

Princess freaking Nefertari Vivi, who apparently left her kingdom, infiltrated Baroque Works, traveled with clearly not-right-in-the-head pirates (not that he was one to talk in the sanity department), stopped a rebellion, and now...

"And now…" The princess paused, taking a deep breath before continuing, her voice thick with emotion. "And now, that is no longer possible. Now, I am forced to flee my kingdom, to abandon my home and my people… to run away once more, with no hope of ever returning… because the World Government has unjustly and erroneously accused me of treason."

Ka-lick.

Runo jumped as a tapered hand hung up the snail.

"Hey!" he protested. "I was still listening to that-!"

"It is poetry. Pure poetry."

It was Yari- she was the only one capable of sneaking up on him. She had one hand still on the receiver and the other holding a stack of bounty posters. Runo glanced at it, and saw the top one was for "Corsair Princess" Nefertari Vivi, wanted "Alive" for 55 million berris.

"Three years ago, we were banished from that sand pit because we endangered Cobra's precious people," she went on, waltzing over to a nearby couch and lounging on it. She admired the poster. "Now his dear daughter must be banished because she helped Cobra's precious people. That, beloved brother, is poetic justice at its finest."

Runo was puzzled at her informativeness for three seconds before realizing she had been listening through the door the whole time.

He raised an eyebrow. "I think the banishment has to do more with the fact she willingly aided and abetted pirates rather than she helped take down a warlord." He paused. "... Then again, the World Government can be unbelievably petty when they want to be. And she's wanted alive to boot- the government only does that if the offender either has enemies in high places or did something especially piss-off worthy."

"You are not wrong, but far from the point. The Nefertaris' overly altruistic and soft nature has effectively led to the end of their reign. There is no way the government will recognize a pirate as a legitimate ruler, so our former princess has to go." She grinned. "I warned Cobra that Alabasta was going under... and, granted, while this is not exactly how I imagined it, it is just as satisfying. I am sure that darling country of his will be ecstatic."

"I know Cobra won't. Wish I could've seen the look on his face when he got the news." Runo joined his sister on the couch and propped his arms behind his head. "Still, gotta give the princess and her pirate pals their props. Not just anyone can infiltrate or take down a criminal organization- especially one run by Crocodile."

Yari sniffed. "Please. If Crocodile allowed himself to be defeated by a group of rookies, then we clearly overestimated his abilities as both a warrior and a pirate. I would not be surprised if all that lounging around in Rain Dinners made his sand go as soft as Cobra's bleeding heart."

"Yeah, Alabasta's sand was pretty soft," Runo noted absently, not quite hearing his sister's statement. He noticed Yari glaring at him and quickly added, "Not that I miss it! I don't!"

Yari nodded and started leafing through the rest of the wanted posters. Runo looked over her shoulder and whistled when he saw Monkey D. Luffy and Roronoa Zoro's bounties.

"Rookie or not, you can't deny the Straw Hats' gumption. Those are some impressive second and first bounties," Runo observed. His smile gained a feral edge. "Whaddya say we pay them a visit? Maybe even say hi to the princess and let her know exactly what we thought of our banishment."

"No," Yari deadpanned.

Runo nearly fell off the couch. Yari didn't want to target possibly strong foes or get some long-desired payback? Yari?!

"Who are you and what have you done with my sister?" he asked seriously. "And when can I compensate you for your trouble?"

She smacked his shoulder, ignoring the wince that followed. "I was not finished, Runo. I meant no, we will not be paying the Straw Hats a visit for the time being. At this moment, they are still in Alabasta and it will not be long before we pass through Sabaody Archipelago. To go after them now would mean backtracking to the beginning of Paradise, and really, who has time for that?"

"... Fair point."

"Additionally, it would be far more advantageous for us if we wait." She pointed at the transponder snail. "That man who was speaking earlier. Cross, I believe? He is dangerous- he has no filter and is obviously not afraid of any backlash from the World Government. He will keep airing the Navy and the Five Elder Stars' dirty laundry and in turn keep digging his crew's grave deeper. He and his crew will be deemed a continually growing threat, and what does the government do with those they deem a threat?"

Runo thought about it, then his pupils became solid gold berri symbols with a loud ka-ching!

"Exactly," Yari confirmed. "Not only that, but by allowing them to transverse more of the Grand Line, they will all have the opportunity to grow strong and become a better challenge for us. We would not want to waste our time on weak enemies, would we?"

"Hell no!" Runo answered enthusiastically.

"I thought so. True, waiting runs the risk of the Navy getting to them first, but though Cross has a blatant death wish, I can tell he is somewhat intelligent. His brain and his captain's brawn should keep the crew afloat for awhile, at least."

"Does this mean we're not heading to the New World after all?" Runo asked.

"I am willing to discuss that further. Personally, I am for setting up shop on Sabaody for a few months," Yari admitted. "There will be plenty of pirates to fight and you will have more time to refine your Haki. When the Straw Hats inevitably arrive, we can take them on then."

"Hmmm," Runo hummed, ruminating the idea. "Not a fan of the idea of living in Celestial Dragon territory, but the pay off would be almost worth it."

"We do not have to decide now," she reminded him. "Like I said, we can discuss it further later."

"Sounds good to me, sis."

They did end up talking more about it at dinner that night, and made the decision to remain on Sabaody for the next few months to wait for the Straw Hats to arrive. Not long after their meal, a News Coo came by with the late evening edition which detailed what occurred after Yari hung up the first SBS broadcast; Cross (or more accurately, the World Government, but Cross did the whistle-blowing) had made Alabasta go revolutionary.

Yari almost choked on dessert and Runo laughed until he ran port side to puke.

If the top brass in the Marines didn't want Cross and the Straw Hats' heads on a collective pike before, then they sure as hell would now. And given their overall character, it was only going to get worse from here.

The Baba Twins couldn't wait for the next broadcast to see.

三

"... Let's start at the very top of this horror show. I speak of Level 1 of 5... The Crimson Hell."

Rear Admiral Savage Carrion's face was carefully blank. Saffron watched him with a similar expression; only hers carried a hint of concern. That was the most outward emotion she was capable of.

"Sir?" she spoke up.

Carrion said nothing. His focus remained entirely on the transponder snail, which bore an infuriatingly smug expression.

"You hear that? That sound was a million and one Marine officers around the world simultaneously voiding their bowels. Surprise, you sons of bitches: I'm not bluffing."

"HOW YOU like us NOW, HUH?!"

At that, Saffron discretely glanced down at the seat of Carrion's chair.

"I did no such thing Saffron," he said at last.

"Of course not, sir," Saffron said, straightening out. "If I may be frank, you are being oddly calm about this, sir."

"... I'm okay with this."

"You are?"

"Yes. While the fact he's airing private information deserves some consternation, the public learning this could make for a powerful deterrent," Carrion replied. "If potential criminals know exactly what awaits them should they turn to piracy, then they will be discouraged from doing so. It's a silver lining and the Navy should embrace it."

Saffron gave her superior a wary look (or about as wary as she could manage.) It wasn't like the Rear Admiral to be so optimistic, especially where pirates were concerned.

"... Seriously?" she asked cautiously.

Before Carrion could make any sort of assurance, Cross did what he apparently did best- open his damn mouth.

"... Before we resume our documentary, I felt it only appropriate that we offer a tip of the hat and a flip of the bird to the primary wardens of the Government's illustrious negative-five star human roach motel. Domino, Saldeath, Hannyabal, Sadi, all of you sadistic fuckers take a bow! But, of course, let's not forget the king of this shitshow, the good Warden Magellan! Without this fine, upstanding bastard's inventive applications of the Venom-Venom Fruit—again, that is the Venom-Venom Fruit, which allows the user to produce a myriad of poisons and toxins from their body—I imagine that countless individuals would have suffered much less painful and much less agonizing demises. Let's give the demons of the World Government's man-made hell a hand, folks, a big big big hand!"

It took every ingrained reflex Saffron had to dodge the rain of splinters that erupted when Carrion smashed his desk.

"SCREW SILVER LININGS, I AM GOING TO VIVISECT THAT BASTARD MYSELF!" Carrion roared.

Saffron lowered the clipboard she had used as a shield. "So... not seriously then?"

Carrion ignored her as he stepped over the broken remains of the furniture and grabbed his Navy coat off the rack in the corner. "Hold my calls, Saffron! I refuse to let this little turd get away with dragging the Navy's good name through the mud like this! I will go after him myself if it means I can shut his bloody mouth!"

"You seem to be unusually passionate about this, sir," Saffron said with her best approximation of confusion. "I know Jeremiah Cross has released very sensitive information, but in all the time I've known you, I've never-"

"I'm passionate about this, Saffron, because men like that? They're matches in an oil refinery," Carrion growled. "He's going to set everything ablaze and soon enough the Marines will have more dissenters than we can deal with. We do not yet have the weapon needed that can prevent this. Thus Cross is a flame that must be snuffed out whatever way possible."

With a dramatic flutter of his coat, Carrion marched out of his office, slamming the door behind him.

Saffron blinked a couple times, trying to process the conversation. She then shrugged and sat down to listen to the rest of the broadcast. Cleaning up the desk's remains could wait, and despite everything Cross was a very entertaining speaker.

Meanwhile, as Carrion made the long trek to Sengoku's office (and blocked out the sound of Garp's uncontrollable laughter echoing through the halls), he allowed a calculating smile to grace his lips.

Matches and oil aside, one has to wonder how that boy is so well informed, he thought. Could he have a contact in the Navy? Or does he have some other source? What else could he possibly know? Hopefully Sengoku will allow my request to go after him. I'd like to... speak with Jeremiah Cross one-on-one, if possible. If he's going to start the fire, I'm going to make sure it burns in our direction.

The smile grew until it became near-maniacal.

It's a long-shot, but depending on what else he knows, he may be the key to my promotion and the end of the Great Pirate Era.

三

"Wait, you mean the whole wowld's been wistening to this nightmawe!?"

"What the hell, slimeball!?"

"I'm sorry, I was too busy with the fact that MY BEST FRIEND WAS GETTING TORTURED AND ALMOST DIED!"

"Might still die if you don't all shut up and let me work in peace! AND NO, I'M NOT AMPING AGAIN! Give me that!"

Ka-lick!

"Ms. Shakuyaku, do you ever feel inadequate?"

It was such a random question that it took Shakky several seconds to realize it had been asked. She was still reeling from the live-broadcast of Cross's life-saving surgery and thankful someone finally noticed the mic was still on. She glanced to the stool in front of her bar counter, where Enoch Vaughan sat and stared into his mug presumably to avoid making eye contact with anyone. It was easy enough- he and Shakky were the only ones in the bar at the moment.

"Sorry, Enoch-chan, but I'm not exactly sure what you're asking me."

Vaughan gestured to the Rip-Off Bar's transponder snail without looking away from his alcohol.

"I'm asking if you've ever felt inadequate because of what someone else has done. What they did make you rethink all of your life choices up to that point- and once you've rethought it, it makes every action you've ever taken feel freaking cheap. Therefore you feel like an inadequate excuse for a human being because you didn't have the will to do what they did and you regret it." He finally looked up and gave Shakky a dry glare. "Have you ever felt like that?"

Shakky thought about it, then shook her head. "I can't say that I have. Why do you ask?"

"I ask because that's how I feel right now thanks to Jeremiah FREAKING CROSS!"

He stood up and without warning he hurled his mug to the ground, shattering it. He started pacing around the bar, agitatedly running his hand through his hair. It was a sight to behold- Vaughan had never lost his temper in the entire time Shakky had known him.

Shakky glanced down at the ceramic shards. "... You're paying for that."

"Not the time!" Vaughan barked.

Shakky crossed her arms. "No need to snap. And if you don't want me to throw you out for property damage, I'm going to need a better answer. What does Cross-chan have to do with anything?"

"That... that... arghh, I don't they've invented a word to describe someone like him!" Vaughan took a calming breath before pointing at the snail. "That whatever didn't give up. He was being tortured with electricity- which I know from experience hurts like the grandstanding queen of bitches- and he just kept. On. Talking! Death was staring him in the face and he didn't give up!"

"And that's a bad thing?"

"Of course not! What pisses me off is if his own imminent demise won't make him quit, then what does it say about me that I let something as asinine as discouragement make me quit?!"

Having made that declaration, Vaughan dropped to ground, sitting cross-legged and squeezing the bridge of his nose. He looked both tired and as if he had aged ten years in ten minutes.

Shakky listened to him mutter angrily to himself for a few minutes before getting out from behind the counter and joining him on the floor. She placed a hand on his shoulder, prompting him to look up. His normally vivid red eyes were dull.

"What did you quit?" she asked gently. "Are you regretting leaving the Navy?"

Vaughan gave her a bitter smile. "Nah, after I learned what they did I was happy to go. I never should have joined them to begin with."

He frowned in contemplation, obviously trying to decide if he should continue. Shakky hoped he would- though the young man was a bounty hunter and an ex-Marine, she and Rayleigh had grown rather fond of him in the years since he came to Sabaody. He never talked about his past unless he was drunk, and even then it was never much. He had a right to his privacy, but right now he was clearly hurting because of whatever memories Cross's ordeal had brought up.

And he did. Vaughan told her everything- about the mysterious island of Kāla (why did that sound familiar?), of his family's goals, and how he came to give up on those goals. They must have been sitting on the ground for hours, but Shakky didn't move or speak until Vaughan had said his piece.

"You do realize your and Cross's situations are hardly similar, right?" Shakky asked him once he finished.

"I do. Doesn't change how I feel, though," Vaughan admitted. "It's the principle of the thing. He didn't give up and more or less did his crew proud. I gave up and dishonored my entire family and everything they'd spent centuries working for."

"I see." Shakky stood up. "What are you going to do about it?"

Vaughan squeezed the bridge of his nose again, remaining on the ground. "I don't know. I need time to process this. It's not every day my entire life view as I know it goes through a massive upheaval." He let go of his nose and rest his chin in his palm, frowning petulantly. "I swear, if I ever meet that loud mouth in person, I'm decking him for putting me through this."

"If that will make you feel better, by all means, deck away. Just be sure to let me and Rayleigh-san serve him and his crew a drink first," Shakky said with a smile. She reached behind the bar and pulled out a dust pan and hand-broom. "While you're on the floor, mind cleaning up the mug you broke?"

It wasn't actually a request, and both adults knew it- Vaughan accepted the cleaning implements and got to work. After five minutes of silence and tossing the mug's pieces in the trash, he sat back at the counter and slapped down a wad of berris. Shakky took the money and got him a fresh mug of rum.

"So, when's Dark King coming back?" Vaughan asked with faux-casualness.

"Who knows with him?" Shakky said with a shrug, leaning on the counter. "But he's been coming round more often since the SBS started up, so it could be any day now."

"Good. I have to ask him something."

"Is that 'something' about that legendary island you're so interested in, Enoch-chan?"

Had she asked this even a couple hours ago, Vaughan would have twitched in irritation and denied it, while also grunting that it wasn't any of her business. Today, however, he just smiled wearily and sipped his booze.

"It couldn't hurt," he said. "At this point, all I have left to lose in pursuing my goals is my life. If a filthy pirate can wager that much against a pseudo-god, I can at least do the same."

It wasn't long after that Shakky's transponder snail started going don don don, announcing another SBS broadcast. She answered it and the pair was greeted with the most beautiful, haunting sound either had ever heard, coupled with Straw Hat Luffy's excited declaration that the City of Gold had existed all along. Whoever Cricket was, he had to be overjoyed.

Vaughan had to admit, overall the Straw Hat crew wasn't half-bad. For pirates, anyway.

Even that big-mouthed jackass.

The bounty hunter still had much to consider, but thanks to the Straw Hat's third mate, his life felt like it was going somewhere for the first time in years. He was genuinely grateful for that, and would pay it forward when the time came.

Vaughan was still gonna deck him, though.

三

"Yuhahahahahahahaha! Yuhahahahahahahaha!"

"How long has she been like this?" Substitute Queen of Kamabakka Kingdom, Caroline, asked with a yawn. It was truly an abysmal hour.

"Since the start of the new SBS broadcast, your queenliness," Tibany answered. "The minute Cross-boy said his crew was attacking Enies Lobby, she started howling with laughter. She hasn't even stopped to breathe."

The howler in question was the lovely blond okama on the floor in front of the castle Den Den, who was guffawing and pounding the tiles with her fist. Her long, luxurious honey locks hung around her face like a curtain and she was still wearing her teal slip pajamas. She was red-faced and obviously oxygen-starved, but she showed no signs of ceasing.

"Yuhahahahahahahaha!" she went on, her baritone laughter resounding across the room. (With Ivankov gone, poor thing hadn't been able to make the complete transformation she desired yet. Caroline didn't think she needed it, but it was what she wanted.) "Yuhahahahahahahaha!"

"Erity, it's shocking but it's not that funny!" Caroline chided her. "Cross-boy's crew is taking a huge risk-"

Erity, at long last, stopped laughing long enough to listen to what Jeremiah Cross had to say next. Caroline and Tibany could hear her wheezing in between his words.

"... you touch one of ours?" Cross asked rhetorically. "We fuck you up. This goes beyond a mere rescue mission, this… this is nothing short of a crusade. We are going to pummel the men stationed here. We are going to take back our archaeologist. And besides making the World Government look like the idiots they are in the process? We are going to burn this fucking island TO THE GODDAMN BEDROCK AND CAST IT INTO THE FUCKING ABYSS IT'S HANGING OVER, SENDING IT RIGHT BACK TO WHERE IT FUCKING BELONGS! WHO'S WITH ME!?"

"YEAH!" the veritable chorus of distorted voices cheered simultaneously.

That did it. With renewed fervor, Erity broke into another fit of laughter, even louder and more obnoxious than the last.

"YUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

These hysterics would eventually quiet down and Erity would be able to fully relish the madness that was the Straw Hat Attack on Enies Lobby. But for now, Erity was ignoring her acting leader and savoring the moment.

The Straw Hat Pirates (those amazing, wonderful, improbable people) were laying siege to Enies Lobby, and they going to totally obliterate it.

Never had Erity been more assured about her "decision" to leave CP9. She would not want to be on that crew's bad side. She only wished she could see the look on Spandam's face right now- she'd heard from Iva-sama's associates that that spoiled, panda-faced bastard became the leader of CP9 after her "departure," and now his precious island and precious CP9 was going to be torn from his greasy little hands.

Erity continued to laugh. This was going to be epic.

三

She hadn't thought much of it at the time.

All sorts of crap washed up on Kāla; clothes, jewelry, bits of technology, furniture. Siobhan once found an entire chest of scholarly textbooks on the beach and had been giving herself an education ever since.

So when a cage carrying a big, miserable-looking snail turned up, Siobhan barely batted an eye. She cleaned the seawater off it and it's odd mechanical parts, and once she decided eating it was a major no, she kept it in her treehouse as a pet. Though utterly silent, little creature had a wide range of emotion and a degree of sentience, making her feel a little less lonely. (Not that she was. She wasn't lonely and you couldn't convince her otherwise.)

Then one day, something changed.

She had been weaving a basket in on her balcony when Gary (the name she gave the snail) started vocalizing the oddest sound. Sort of a don, don, don noise emerged from it's mouth. Siobhan had briefly panicked, thinking something was wrong, when Gary, with his eye stalks, pointed at the boxy thing on a wire that was attached to him. She'd lifted it off its hook and Gary started speaking in a completely new voice.

That was first time Siobhan listened to Jeremiah Cross... and learned that Gary was actually communication device. Who knew?

The broadcasts themselves were a tad sporadic, given Kāla's inability to stay in one place or time. Additionally, she might have been either hearing them out of order or missing some altogether, but she got the gist of what Cross was talking about.

Through Cross she learned about the Great Pirate Era, the World Government (jerks), surfing octopi, sky islands, that the terror of the Lily Carnation still existed in the "Grand Line" (that was what they were calling it now), and the close-knit crew that was the Straw Hat Pirates. Each adventure was more wondrous than the last, and soon enough listening to the SBS became Siobhan's favorite part of any day.

It was obvious these broadcasts were coming from a faraway point in time, as when she brought the SBS up to some of her visitors they had no idea what she was talking about. The SBS also never came on whenever she had visitors, which was disappointing. Cross could be an irritating SOB but he was someone that needed to be shared.

However, as much as Siobhan loved the SBS and the Straw Hats, listening also made her hypothetical loneliness increase- such as now.

"Gather up all of the crew, it's time to ship out Binks' brew. Sing a song, and play along for all the oceans wide..." she sang along with the snail.

She had never heard this song before. She only knew the words because it had appeared in one of the books she'd found over the years.

There were so many things she had never heard. There were so many things she'd never seen. Things she'd never done, places she'd never gone, people she'd never met. Cross, his radio show, and by extension all the visitors she had ever received reminded her of that.

...She wanted those things. She wanted to sing pirates songs and visit sky islands and surf and kick Navy butt and everything and more, just like Straw Hats had done. Just like the Straw Hats were doing.

"After all is said and done, you'll end up a skeleton. So spread your tale from dawn 'til dusk upon these foamy seas!"

But she couldn't. Siobhan couldn't do those things because she had to stay here and guard Kāla's damn "treasure." By herself. Alone. It wasn't like any of her visitors could stay, and with every passing day Saatatya's promise grew ever more unlikely.

Tears began to drip down Siobhan's cheeks.

"Yo-hohoho, Yo-ho-ho-hoooo! Yo-hohoho, Yo-ho-ho-hoooo! Yo-hohoho, Yo-ho-ho-hoooo! Yo-hohoho, Yo-ho-ho-hoooo! Yo-hohoho, Yo-ho-ho-hooooooo…"

She shook her head furiously, scrubbing away the salty droplets with her wrist. Without a moment of hesitation, she snatched up the receiver and punched in a number she'd memorized several broadcasts ago. She had no idea if it would actually work, but...

"Dot dot dot dot!"

"Hold up, looks like we got a caller!" There was a click. "Hello, you're live on the SBS! Here to join the party?'

Siobhan stared at the snail, not saying anything for several long moments.

"Hello? Anyone there?"

"... Jeremiah Cross?"

"Yeah, that's me!"

Siobhan swallowed, and despite her efforts tears spilled out again.

"... Thank you, for all of this. I hope I get to meet you guys some day."

"What-?"

Siobhan hung up the receiver and Gary closed his eyes. She then turned around and threw herself onto her bed, sobbing into her pillows. She stayed this way through several night and day periods until she had no more tears to shed.

Finally, Siobhan got up and left the treehouse. She went to the nearby waterfall and splashed cold water in her face. She continued to do so until all puffiness around her eyes faded and the only redness left was from the icy water.

"Pull yourself together, Siobhan," she told herself. "You're allowed one breakdown a year, and this was it. No more. Pull yourself together."

She stood and dried her face on a giant leaf. Though she was much calmer now, her nerves still felt frayed from the downpour of emotion she just experienced. She needed something to distract her thoughts. She supposed she could get to work on the backlog of chores she undoubtedly had now, but she knew it wouldn't keep her mind occupied for long. She needed something interesting, something mentally stimulating, something...

... Oh.

... Oh.

... Man, did Kāla know when to deliver or what?

Grinning like a loon, Siobhan ran through the jungle, taking all her special shortcuts, until she found herself on the pink sands of the beach. Just as she arrived, the form of a large ship emerged through the distant fog. She shielded her eyes from the sun in order to get a better look. It was a large ship with three masts, burgundy-painted wood, and two mermaids as the figurehead. It's jolly roger was a cartoony-looking skull with an impressive curly mustache.

She waved her arms in the air and shouted, "Ahoy there!"

There were multiple unintelligible calls in response. Siobhan went on waving her arms and laughing as the ship sailed closer. She may never do the marvelous things Cross and his crew did, but at least she had her island, her snail, and her visitors.

For now, that was enough.

(And maybe one day she'll even believe it.)

三

BONUS

三

Cross blinked stupidly at the scene before him.

One minute he, Soundbite, and Lassoo were being chased through Sabaody Archipelago by a pair of psycho purple-haired bounty hunters. The male one had somehow knocked Funkfreed out and nearly did the same to the third mate if Soundbite hadn't cut off the sound and he hadn't used a flash dial to distract him. The pair had plugged their own ears with wax and were able to dodge Lassoo's shots with ease. They had to have Observation Haki or Cross would eat his hat.

Then all of a sudden the hunters had fallen to the ground, unconscious. Before he could fully react to that, a fist came out of nowhere, punched him in the face, and knocked him to the resin-coated ground. Now standing over all of them and giving Cross a pleasant smile was a tall, pale man with red eyes and dark cloak.

"Sorry for the delay!" he apologized, helping Cross stand and handing him Funkfreed's sword. "I wanted to see how well you could handle them before I stepped in. I'd also apologize for decking you, but trust me, you had that coming."

"Uh..." Cross groaned with confusion, rubbing his aching nose. Even Soundbite had nothing to say for the first time ever.

"I call that move Head Rush. As the name implies, I make all the blood rush to their heads and they pass out. I typically try to avoid manipulating blood while it's still in the body, but I figured this was quickest way to save you." He pointed a slender finger at Cross. "Now, if I'm correct, you are 'Voices of Anarchy' Jeremiah Cross and Soundbite. Huge fan of the SBS, by the way. I believe you may have some information for me."

Cross said nothing, still in a kind of stupor.

The man raised an eyebrow. "Huh. You're a lot quieter in person. Okay, I can work with that." He placed his hands on his hips. "At any rate, allow me to introduce myself. My name is-"

"Enoch 'Blood King' Vaughan," Cross interjected in a dead tone. "Wielder of the Blood Blood Fruit, bounty hunter, former Navy Rear Admiral, and overly literal."

Vaughan's eyes widened with surprise, then he sighed with acceptance. "Yeah, I should have figured you already knew of me. You're crazy-informed and honestly, I'm banking on that. I was hoping that- what are you doing?"

Cross had set down his animal companions and was marching over to the nearest mangrove trunk.

He stopped and gave a Vaughan a weak smile. "Just... just give me a minute."

Vaughan could only watch in extreme bewilderment as Cross proceeded to bang his head against the tree. He didn't stop for half an hour, and the whole time muttered under his breath about someone called B.R.O.B.

Vaughan made the wise decision not to ask.

I'm not the best proofreader, so if you see any other errors, tell me in a PM please!

This was really fun to write! I always ask myself how my characters would react to Cross and Soundbite's shenanigans, and after the "Fluffy McFluffmeister" shout out I got a million years ago, I decided to run with it. This has been half-finished for weeks, and now that I'm on my summer break, I was able to complete it. Assuming my schedule remains clear, I should be getting back to the main story after I'm done with the edits! Stay tuned!

Oh, and Cross-Brain? I dare you to outdo me on this.

Notes

I warned Cobra that Alabasta was going under... and, granted, while this is not entirely how I imagined it, it is just as satisfying...

See TRD's 200 Review Special for details!

I was not finished yet, Runo. I meant no, we will not be paying the Straw Hats a visit for the time being. At this moment they are still in Alabasta and it will not be long before we pass through Sabaody Archipelago.

At the end of that review special section, Yari told Runo they were heading for the New World. In the last three or so years, the twins thought it would be prudent to build up their strength before going, so they traveled around Paradise to do so. As Runo mentioned, they got their devil fruits and have learned Haki. In the original timeline, they went into the New World not long after the Straw Hats beat Crocodile. Here, they decide to wait thanks to Cross altering story canon.

It's a long-shot, but depending on what else he knows, he may be the key to my promotion and the end of the Great Pirate Era.

In the original timeline, Carrion- at this point- did not think much of the Straw Hats beyond "Garp's damn grandson is going to be a pain in our asses." However, Carrion both wants to annihilate pirates and rise in the ranks, the latter so he can get the resources he needs to track down the Star of Kāla and destroy pirates even more. Now he sees Cross as a resource to do all that. You know, provided Cross doesn't make things worse for him.

And he totally does. Let's just say Carrion was at Enies Lobby and leave it at that.

And he did. Vaughan told her everything- about the mysterious island of Kāla, of his family's goals, and how he had come to give up on those goals. They must have been sitting on the ground for hours, but Shakky didn't move or speak until Vaughan had said his piece.

I left this vague on purpose. The exact circumstances of Vaughan giving up on his goals will revealed in the main story in due time. And while I'm here, Cross confronting Eneru jumpstarted Vaughan's realization by a few months. In the original timeline, Vaughan didn't regain his resolve until after Marineford. Also in that timeline, he never got the chance to talk to Rayleigh about Kāla. In this timeline, on the other hand...

Siobhan once found an entire chest of scholarly textbooks on the beach and had been giving herself an education ever since.

If any of you have been wondering why a twelve-year-old sounds so mature and knowledgeable, this is why. Siobhan has always been mature for her age, and she reads a lot. Her visitors also teach her things sometimes.

Vaughan could only watch in extreme bewilderment as Cross proceeded to bang his head against the tree.

The members of Cross-Brain have read my fic, so I think it's safe to assume Cross has read it as well. And it would absolutely kill him to see one of my OCs are actually real.