"Maya?"

I could feel her delicate fingers against the middle of my back.

"It's going to be ok," she whispered.

I didn't notice when I closed my eyes, but I did notice that for the very first time, I didn't believe her. The smile that graced my lips was maybe a little forced , but this is what I do and for her, I'd pretend.

"I hope you're right Riley." I looked over at Riley for the first time since she dragged me to the bay window. Her eyes were full of guilt, regret, pain, love, and compassion. The capacity and depth of her feelings always did amaze me.

"Would I ever lie to you Peaches?" Her lips pulled back into a smile and I almost believed her, almost. I knew though and so did she that nothing and I mean nothing, would ever be the same. Gentle taps against the door diverted her attention if only for a second.

"Riley?"

My posture stiffened and a sour taste was left in my mouth at the sound of his voice.

"Oh, hi Maya."

I hadn't realized I had my eyes clamped shut. I didn't even realize I was clutching onto the cushions of the bay window until I felt Riley's fingers gently run over my knuckles trying to ease out the tension coursing through my fingers. I opened my eyes and looked at our hands swallowing the pain. My eyes shot up to his.

"Huckleberry." His name came out as a forced whisper. I couldn't bring myself to fake a smile for him the way I could for Riley and I couldn't tell you why. I dropped my head and closed my eyes. I tried to regulate my breathing. I tried to fight the overwhelming sadness that just consumed me, the sadness that came now with looking at both Riley and Lucas. I tried to fight the urge to cry. My grip on the cushions tightened as I felt the tears building behind my eyelids and the weight on my chest.

I didn't even hear Riley calling out for me as I pushed myself out of her window before either of them could see me cry, see me be weak. My feet met pavement at the most rapid rate my legs would allow. I had no idea where I was going, if I was even going anywhere until I ended up on the subway. I sat alone brushing away silent tears from my face while staring absently out the window.

"Maya?"

I wiped furiously at my face even though I'm sure he's already seen my disaster of a self. I couldn't even look at him. I held my hands together after rubbing my face and forced a smile at my hands.

"Maya."

I felt him slide on to the seat next to me, shifting his fram to face me. I bit my lip and closed my eyes. I let out an unsteady breath before letting out an irregular sounding chuckle.

"You know I'm starting to think you live on the subway." A timely silence followed almost as if he was calculating his next move. I opened my eyes after the silence began to become unbearable.

"It's the best place to catch ferrets, well here and my brother's place." He smiled at me as I let out the first genuine chuckle of the night. His thumb slowly ran against my cheek wiping away one of my stray tears.

"Want to talk about it?" He asked removing his hands from my face with a dazed look on his own.

"High school sucks." He laughed lightly at my observation.

"Well it is almost over." He noted running his hands through his brown locks.

"Not soon enough." I muttered fixating my gaze out the window.

We stayed in silence for a few seconds before I sighed, "does college suck less?"

His dark eyes observed my face for a second before answering.

"It can."

My eyebrows scrunched together.

"Sounds promising." His lips pulled back slightly.

"Maya, it is what you make it. Don't like something? Change it." He shrugged as if it was merely that simple.

"Mr. Matthews says that change comes from people, that people change people." I answered fixing my eyes on his once more. He gave me a lop-sided smile and responded, "He's right. People do change people, which is why some people come and go Maya. People can change people for better or worse. It's just up to you to decide which people are which and where to start making your changes."

"I don't think I like change. Growing up is so difficult." I whispered. I didn't really think he heard me until he lightly touched my arm.

"Well change is inevitable," he got up and went around to the door, " and guess what? Maya you're still gorgeous, so maybe growing up is difficult but worth it." He rubbed the back of his head throwing me the trademark Matthews smirk before walking off of the subway.

I smiled at his retreating form and forgot even just for a minute why I was upset in the first place.