Chibi-Kari: I just wanted to write a funny little humor story surrounding Hiashi, Naruto, and Hinata. The idea wouldn't leave me, so I just went with it. One of my friends and I were discussing Naruto and Hinata's marriage and I was explaining why I thought Hiashi would get behind it and thus the idea was born! I don't own, but I hope you enjoy it. I'm thinking I may extend this a little with some other characters, but no definitive plan. And the next chapter of genjustu is almost done.

Of Kimonos and News

Hiashi narrowed his eyes as he stared at the two in front of him. It seemed like only yesterday they were in this same situation waiting to tell him something important. No, informing was the right word. All the years he spent trying to make his daughter tough and stubborn so that she would become a strong clan head backfired. He had never been able to groom her into the leader he wanted her to be, but at least she had shown him she was as strong as he always knew she was.

Flashback

For once his daughter wasn't fidgeting at the table in front of him. The normal timidness seemed to be gone and was replaced with a mix of triumph and determination. "Father, we have something to tell you."

Hiashi shifted his gaze from his daughter to the young man kneeling next to her. Hiashi was used to seeing an easy confidence in the young man, but currently he seemed a lot more timid than his daughter. The older man sighed softly. Their tea had gone cold and the duo still hadn't managed to tell him what he already knew. Although it was no secret around the village, they had yet to tell him they were dating. He was expecting them to come to him a few months ago with the news and then he would play angry for a while—he had to save face since she was dating outside the clan—and then make a grand speech giving in.

"Yes, we do have something important to tell you Hyuuga-sama." Naruto managed to force out.

Hiashi's eyes narrowed dangerously. The young blonde was never this formal. Ever. A slight panic started to rise in his stomach. This boy was able to unite nations and defeat the greatest threats to the world without faltering in his informality. And now he was distressed simply because he had to tell his girlfriend's father that they are dating? It didn't seem right.

"Father, we're getting married." Hinata's clear voice rang through the silent room.

Hiashi felt as if the floor had dropped away from under his knees. He couldn't have heard right. They were here to tell him they were dating. He'd make a fuss, he'd give in, he'd groom the boy on proper etiquette, and then one day many years from then the two would get married. They were a good match. The boy was going to one day be Hokage and Hiashi wasn't blind—the boy's lineage, while not common knowledge, was obvious. Any children the two had would be elite. And now he didn't have to worry about choosing between his daughters on who would be the next clan head. He had always known one of his daughters would be in a political marriage. He just always thought it would be with a section of the clan that wanted more power, but as soon as he realised his older daughter's more or less obsession with the blonde, he was rather pleased. And he would be rather pleased with the entire situation if they were older and things had gone as planned.

Hiashi cleared his throat and raised a delicate eyebrow. "When are you planning on having this wedding?" He internally prayed they would say in a few years. He could handle that. While he was harsh on his children, they were still his daughters. His tiny little girls. His last piece of their mother. And they were both still so young. He had many more years to protect them from the real dangers of the world. Loss of reputation. The harshness of adult life. Men.

Naruto sputtered for a moment but sat up straighter when Hinata flashed him a look. "Next Friday, sir. We're hoping you'll attend." The formality of the boy's speech was fading now that they had gotten the major news out of the way. Something Hiashi noted grudgingly.

The man tried to calm his warring emotions with logic. It was a good match. He did support it. Hiashi nodded calmly, but felt himself losing grip on that calm. His daughter was too young.

Hinata blinked a few times and allowed a small smile to grace her face. "So you'll come?"

That was the moment Hiashi completely lost his grip on his sanity—the one time in anyone's knowledge in which this happened—and said the first thing which came to his mind. "I didn't know you were even dating." The man internally grimaced at the slight lie that escaped him.

Hinata blinked as she sat back shocked.

"What?!" Naruto exploded looking between Hinata and her father in confusion.

Hinata shook her head numbly, "Hanabi told me you knew."

Hiashi tried to follow his own argument vainly. "You never came to announce it. All members of the clan need to announce serious relationships."

"That's only so you know what's going on in the other branches, father."

"It's still tradition."

"Not for the main branch."

Of course his daughter knew all the clan traditions. He had been the one to train her. Hiashi blindly tried to come up with another way to stall the wedding. He needed another year, maybe five, to come to terms with his daughter leaving. Not ten days. "This isn't enough time to plan a proper wedding."

Hinata furrowed her brow. "Kurenai-sensei, Hanabi, and I have been planning it for months. The last minute details were approved by the elders last week."

Hiashi's mind ran into overdrive. He had been absent from the last two meetings with the elders, but one of them should have informed him that they were going over the plans for his daughter's wedding at least.

Hinata's mouth snapped shut as realisation dawned. "You didn't know. I thought you knew and were just angry, so we came here to ask that you'd come to the wedding—my wedding." Hinata sat silently. "So if we hadn't told you, you might not have come not because you didn't approve but since you didn't know?"

Hiashi wanted to deny it. It reflected poorly on himself to say that he didn't know what was going on in his own clan, but if he lied it would devastate his daughter. Not even counting the later political implications, Hinata was his first born and he wouldn't break her heart. But he couldn't just answer that. He let the awkward silence coat the room before turning on his future son-in-law. "Starting tonight, etiquette sessions will be conducted every night after dinner here in the sitting room. You will be prompt, but it would be difficult to be late only coming from the east wing."

Naruto scratched the back of his head harshly as he glanced at Hinata. "Thank you for the offer; I'm not Kakashi-sensei, so I'll be on time…but we won't be living in the east wing."

Hiashi felt his knuckles go white. "What do you mean? You cannot expect to stay in your small apartment together." Hiashi barely refrained from shuddering as he thought back on the small apartment block that he was certain was only still standing to spite the city. It needed to be condemned. His daughter would not be living there and would not step foot there again if he had any say.

"No father, we thought we would get a small apartment close to the civilian academy." Hinata smiled. Her father was taking this rather well. "The rent is cheaper, but the places are a bit nicer-."

"No." Hiashi cut her off, standing. "That is a terrible area. The area nearest to the market is best. That's where you'll live. I'll find a suitable place by your wedding. No arguments. I am the clan head. And you'll be eating dinner here every night until I say otherwise. Both of you. And you'll wear your mother's wedding kimono." Hiashi flushed as he ran out of breath. He turned quickly and left the room so that he could deny any future lack of composure.

Naruto turned to his fiancé dumbfounded. "Did your dad just agree to come and buy us a place? The market's right across from the compound, right? That area is way too expensive!"

Hinata nodded with a shocked smile adorning her face.

End of flashback

Hiashi let his hand wander to the bridge of his nose for a moment. This déjà vu was too much for him. The two had barely been married a year, but Hiashi was quite content with what he could see of their relationship. "If memory serves me, last time we were in this situation you were about to tell me some serious news."

The two glanced at each other and nodded.

Hiashi could see how tense they were, so he tried to lighten the mood…something he rarely even endorsed. "Just say it. As long as you're not pregnant, nothing can faze me." Hiashi felt his blood run cold as they flinched. "No."

"You can't just say no, father. That's not how it works."

That was the second time in known history that Hiashi momentarily lost his firm grip on his sanity.