I don't know how I'm supposed to feel at this moment.
Happy? For the reason that my father came back and remembered me.
Pity? That my father was truly suffering all these years.
Anger? As he seemed to expect forgiveness.
Guilt? That I never even thought to understand my father.

Despite all the emotions swirling around my head like a hurricane, none seem to fully soak trough, leaving me to feel nothing but emptiness. It's as if a hole was ripped out just where my heart is, and I'm not sure what I should be using to fill the empty gap.

Tears are still streaming my face, however, I don't cry or sob. I stand expressionless staring at the wooden door with my fingers tracing the wearing fabric of the dull grey baseball.

I stare down at the ball now.
It seems like he's been holding onto it for a while.
Did he have it every time he came home?
Every time he stood in my presence and beat me, did he have it with him?
Did he know in the back of his mind that he always wanted to give me this?
Or was this an excuse to see me? To ask for a hollow forgiveness, and build my trust just so he can break me down again?
My gaze falls from the ball and I stare down at the shoes thrown around by the door.
Daichi's and I shoes were the only ones there.
I wonder if he knew about Daichi's presence?
I wonder what he's doing now?
Everything is so, so quiet.
Yet so, so loud.
I could almost hear my brain churning with thoughts and questions.
I feel like I'm drowning, Why? Why did he come back?

As I stand there; my eyes drying and my hand gripping the ball tighter. I hear a quiet creak moan out from the old wooden floor behind me, straining to support the new weight that seems to cautiously walk over.
I don't turn though, not yet.
I dry my tears and try to feel something, anything. Some sort of emotion.

I could feel the perpetrator of the noise bore his eyes into the scene of empty thoughts. Standing there without a word, scanning the surroundings, maybe even expecting something drastic to happen before him. But nothing did.
It's quiet.
It's loud.
It's so very empty.

After a few moments the floor croaks again, and again, and again. From the shallow steps walking towards me. I feel myself becoming engulfed in a hug, arms around my tiny frame, while I continue to stand without movement.
I'm too tired to move.

"Oh God, Suga!... Oh God!" I hear his deep voice mumble into the fabric covering my back. "I was so scared just waiting up there! God I just wanted to cry the whole time!"
Daichi is a kind soul.
I turn myself in his tight grasp and ring my slender arms around his neck burying my face in his neck. He holds tighter, and I couldn't be more grateful.
I'm so tired of thinking.

We stand in a comfortable silence for a moment. However, I knew Daichi had so many of his own questions swarming his mind.
My throat is still scratchy and sore, I didn't think my first word would be to my father.
However, I know my second will be to Daichi.
It has to be.

I sling my arms down and trace my fingers along Daichi's clothed chest, not looking him in the eyes. I clear my throat as best I could before looking up into his worry filled eyes.
"I'm Okay..." I mumble in a strain. It sounds as if I haven't had a drink in years.

His heart seems to have either melted or stopped completely as he stood there with wide eyes and an unhinged mouth.
"I'm okay..." I mumble again looking down at my hands pressed into Daichi's chest. The baseball still grasped onto tightly in one.
I could almost feel his signature smile radiate from his face. He hugs me again.
"I'm so happy you're okay, you have no idea how fricken grateful I am. I heard all these horrendous cracks and crashes, I was terrified of what he might have done to you this time." Daichi sighs with relief into my sliver hair with a slight shake in his voice.
He doesn't say anything else.
He doesn't ask me anymore questions, and I am grateful.
We stand in silence.

Daichi finally unravels us and looks up at the damage behind me. "We can take care of that later I guess?" He says in almost a questioning tone. I just nod, not even daring to look back.
I know it's probably early, but I've never been so exhausted.
Daichi seems to notice as well.
"How about we go upstairs? We can rest for a bit." He says in a soothing tone. I nod without meeting his eyes.
He takes my left arm guiding me slowly up the stairs, I felt so lost.
As we make it to my room Daichi guides me over and gently lays me down. I make the mistake of catching his eyes, seeing the worry filling them. It only makes me feel worse then I already do.
"I'm going to go make you a glass of tea, alright?" Daichi says soothingly.
I nod staring emotionlessly at the white ceiling, which resembles the hospital room quite too much for my liking.

As Daichi exits the room with a soft click of my door, I could almost feel the speed of his pace radiate throughout the house as he rushes over to the phone, calling the police for what I assume.
Daichi really is a kind soul.
I swear he's too good for me.

I sigh deeply closing my eyes. I roll my fingers along the leather and string of the baseball.
Of all the times my father came home and beat me.
I have never once felt this horrible.
I never felt this broken and lost.

That night was one of my worst.
Daichi came back with a glass of tea and though I drank it, I had no motivation to do anything else. We spent the rest of the day lying in bed. Daichi tried his best to start a conversation away from the droning subject of my father hanging in the air. However, I never got into it. I answered with either a mumble of a yes or no, or a nod, but I felt to tired to keep the conversation, and my throat made it hard for me to talk just yet.
I felt like garbage, not only for the reason of my father's presence, but because of letting my questions and concerns affect Daichi.
Whenever my eyes catch Daichi's I almost always see them glazed with worry and question. Daichi doesn't deserve to feel like that, but I can't bring myself to talk, not even through writing.
The night was horrible, the phone rang a few times, while the police came for some questions. Daichi seemed to have taken care of everything, while I sat in my bed feeling useless and lost.
I wish this would just end.
I still don't know what to think of my father, all I know is that the police are out looking for him.
It's now the next day, and though I still feel like crap, I feel a bit better then yesterday. I've gotten maybe 3-4 hours of sleep at best, but it's alright because Daichi kept me company the whole time. He held my hand throughout the night and woke up several times just to check that I was alright.
I really do love him with all my heart.
What did I ever do to have him by my side?

I'm laying in bed next to Daichi now, watching him closely as his breathy snores echo throughout the room. His one hand is loosely tangled into my left and his other is strung along my waist.
It's so quiet, and I'm loving every moment.
He looks so calm, and without worry.
He's the opposite of yesterday.
His hair is already a mess, and the closeness and protective grasp he seems to hold me in makes my heart flip.
He really is one of a kind.
I look down at our intertwined fingers, staring at my promise ring.
He really does love me.
I love him back so much.
I make it my goal today to relief Daichi from all his worries. It's not much, but I hope he feels better today.
For now I watch him sleep calmly.
I softly trace my fingers along his warm cheek, feeling how alive and real this really is. After a few minutes with my hand placed on his cheek, Daichi begins to stir. He stretches out widely causing the bed to moan and shake, before retracing back in and pulling me in closer. I wonder to myself if he fell back to sleep, but his eyes slowly flutter open staring back into my own.
"Hi" I say softly with a slight croak in my voice. I drag my hand down to his neck.
"Hello" he replies with a soft smile.
"How are you feeling?" He asks with concern seeming to fill his head again.
I press our bodies closer together, feeling my nose press into Daichi's own.
"Better" I say with exhaustion quiet obviously present in my voice.
Daichi smiles back in response, happy with my answer. The air feels so light. So delicate and so oddly magical. If I could I would want to stay like this forever.
The room is bright with the sun pouring out of the window, the shine seems to make Daichi glow, emphasizing his features and curves. It almost makes me forget all my lost feelings and empty worries.
I wanna kiss him.

"Can I kiss you?" Daichi says softly. Taking the words right out of my mouth, I smile in response. He slowly lifts his head up and draws his arms up to balance himself on his one elbow. He bends over and presses his lips softly onto my own. It's delicate and innocent. I love every moment of it.
He pulls back for a moment only to lift himself higher leaning over top of me now one of his hands pressed into the covers by my waist, while another pressed into the close sides of my head and neck. He towers over me, trapping me underneath him in a protective manner, he is careful not to press too much weight into me.
I never really thought about how much I love to be under Daichi's control. He seems to act upon everything with safety and caution, he is careful on how he speaks and with his tone. He really is such a kind soul.
He places another sweet kiss against my lips. My hands automatically grasp his cheeks, pulling him closer. His lips are warm and delicate.
He lifts his head back up and looks down at me with a deep gaze full of love and lust, leaving me wanting more. He cranes his neck downwards and rubs his nose against a particularly sensitive spot behind me ear. I giggle softly in response, my hands squeezing his cheeks harder. It tickles.
I grin wider as he continues his actions before replacing his nose with his lips, before replacing that with a slight graze with his teeth. My laughter becomes more breathier, and I feel my face heat up as Daichi bites down quite hard. An involuntary moan escapes me along with a big grin as he licks the now swollen area. It hurts, but at the same time feels so good. It feels good in a sense that he's marked me, he has claimed me as his. That thought leaves me feeling a rush of energy tingle throughout my body. Daichi lifts his head back up and my fingers delicately slip off from his cheeks to either side of my head. Daichi's own face is dusted red and I assume mine is similar if not worse, however, at this point I don't care. Daichi smiles fondly and pecks my lips again.
"I'm so happy you're feeling better." He says deeply, and I know his words are genuine. I clear my throat, attempting to rid it from the dry desert state it's in. "Thank you for-" I cough slightly and clear my throat again. "...for helping me." I finish with a loud croak. I see Daichi's eyes shine. Like a parent watching their child score their first goal, Daichi's eyes shine with such a fond, proud glaze making my heart rise with joy.
Thank you Daichi, for making me happy despite this situation.

I wish I could say my thoughts to Daichi out loud, however that would have to wait for a bit. Daichi sights in exhaustion, realizing we have indeed just woken up. Judging by the large amount of light in the room, I assume it is quite late in the morning. Daichi lifts himself off of me and sits on the edge of the bed. I lay for a moment admiring his toned back, blushing at the realization that he slept with me without a shirt on.
No wonder why it was so warm.

I smile to myself. I hope we sleep together like that a lot more.
I shake my head inwardly, trying to erase the thoughts of the naughty actions that could result in sleeping together like that again. Daichi turns to me and smiles again, "how about we go down for some breakfast." He offers eagerly. I nod in response, realizing that I am indeed quite hungry. I begin to lift my self up into a sitting position as Daichi speaks up again, "um...if you want I can make you something and bring it up..." He scratches the back of his neck, worry now replaces his once carefree lit eyes. I tilt my head in confusion. Why does he want to make me breakfast in bed? I'm not sick. My eyes trail over his face before I spot the door to my room in front of Daichi.
Thoughts of yesterday night rush through me like a storm and I immediately feel sick to my stomach.
"You can wait here if you like, I'll try and make you something edible." Daichi reasons. I contemplate the situation, before shaking my head slightly. "I can go." I croak out after a moment. Daichi looks to me with concern, a question of 'are you sure' glaze over his eyes and I nod in response. He sighs and smiles before getting up and offering me a hand.
What a gentleman.
I laugh to myself and return Daichi a wide smile, one made mostly for a confidence boost for myself. To be honest, I'm not quite sure I really want to go down stairs to see the carnage. However, I know if I put if off any longer and coop my self in my room it'll only get more difficult. Daichi hoists me up with his left hand, I smile softly at the sight of his own ring placed on his finger. Whilst the broken red threat of fate dangles lifelessly at his pinky, the promise ring seems almost if it's glowing. It makes me thankful that we gave this relationship another chance; that we can make this work without fate's control.
I stand up noticing that I am in my pjs consisting of my baggy sweat pants and a loose white tee, which I don't quite remember putting on. I push the thought aside and walk hand in hand with Daichi out of my room. We stand at top of the stairs. I can feel my confidence begin to diminish, God, he was right there yesterday. I don't want to go through that pain again.
I am still left confused as to how I should feel about my father's visit, and the more I think about it the more lost I become.
I feel my head begin to turn with questions and thoughts before Daichi squeezes my hand tightly waking me up from my slight trance. He smiles warily, "Are you okay?" I look down, not sure of how to respond. Am I okay with this? Can I go back to the area of conflict? Am I brave enough to?
As if Daichi can read my thoughts he squeezes my hand again. "Just remember, I'm here every step of the way." Daichi says soothingly. That's all I needed to boost my confidence. I smile to myself, Daichi is all I need to survive this trauma.

I take the first step and Daichi follows in suit, never letting go of my hand. My breath hitches as the front door comes into view. The dent in the wall is still present and everything in that area seems untouched since yesterday as dirt is still scattered and my white board and marker lay discarded. I stop and stare, the empty emotions are on the verge of returning as I look longer. To most people an entrance would signify the beginning the bringing of a family. The place where families come to welcome each other back and to invite others to join. A place of nothing evil. However, it's all too different for me.
This doorway holds all the biggest traumas of my life. The place where my father beat me and my mother left me. The place that ended my family.
I feel myself shake, tears on the verge of falling.
Why? Why did it have to be my family?!
Daichi pulls me into him, turning my sight away from the door. His arms wrap around me like a shield, it's warm and ever so comfy. This seems to be the only place left that I feel protected in.

We stay like that for a few moments, calming me, protecting me. Daichi's even breathing soothes my own shaky ones, allowing me to calm down fully, and avoiding tears from falling.
"Let's go into the kitchen." Daichi mumbles. I nod into his shoulder and allow him to pull me by my arms.
As the scene slowly fades from my sight, I release a breath I never realized I was holding. I look up at Daichi who is currently urging me to sit at the small table in the middle of the kitchen. His eyes are desperately searching for way to calm not only me, but himself down. I smile inwardly to myself watching as he sits me down on one of the old white chair, and circles around to rummage through the fridge with a very emphasized fake skip in his step.

I love watching Daichi's odd methods of trying to cheer others up.

"How about we have some breakfast!" He declares rather loudly, he turns to me and I nod with a sloppy smile plastered onto my face.
How is he able to make me smile in a matter of seconds?
"You must be really hungry Suga. Well don't worry as today is your lucky day, where I will be making breakfast for the two of us." Daichi explains, over enthusiasm dripping from his voice, making me laugh in response.
I see his eyes glitter as I laugh and he continues on his little 'show'.

"How about cereal? Or maybe some oatmeal? What do we even have available?!" Daichi sings in a shaken upbeat manner. Strangely his methods seem to work as I slowly forget the scene moments ago.
I giggle, hearing my own new croaky hum from my throat. "Maybe cereal" I mumble as loud as I could. My voice is quite hoarse, it's sounds almost as if I'm going through a second puberty, I laugh at the thought.
Definitely not as bad as voice breaks throughout puberty.

Daichi dances around the kitchen scrummaging through the shelves trying to locate bowls, spoons, milk, cereal, etc.
His show is cheesy and full of life that gives me no choice, but to laugh at.
I can tell exactly what he's doing, acting all silly and emphasizing his movements purposefully so make me giggle, and that's exactly why I love him so much.
Red thread of fate or not. I wouldn't want anyone, but him.

As Daichi continues to dance and 'create', as he describes, a bowl of cereal. The loud ring of the telephone interrupts the 'ceremony'.
I notice that Daichi's hands are full at the moment, so I decide to get up rather slowly towards the opposite end of the kitchen where one of the phones are placed on the counter.
I haven't had a chance to trying try using my voice, so perhaps this could be of help.
I take a deep breath and clear my throat, locking eyes with Daichi and nodding, a silent understanding of I'm okay went through my mind and I peered down at the number. Confused at the fact that the phone number shown in the tiny screen was not registered, I pushed my uncertainty and answered.

Hello, this is chief officer of the nearby police station, and I am calling in regards of the incident that took place yesterday late afternoon. I would like to speak to Sugawara Kōshi.

My eyes widen. Why are they calling? Did they find my father? Was he captured?
Thoughts raced in my head.

"This is him speaking." I say in a rather less puberty like hoarseness.

Ah, Hello Sugawara, I'm calling in regards about your father. We spent the past couple hours on search for him and we finally came back with results.

My heart began beating faster. They found him right?! They finally found him and caught him! He'll never bother me again right!? I can love free?! Right?

I keep quiet, and the chief goes quiet as well. He's been found, right? Is something wrong?

I'm extremely sorry Sugawara.

My heart stops for a moment. What's going on? Has he not been found yet?

The line is quiet again for a moment, there is a confusing heavy atmosphere laid between us.
Should I know what's going on?

The officer continues on, realizing my full attention is on him.

I'm sorry. We found your father last night Sugawara.

-silence-

That's good right? He's been found! He won't bother me anymore right?!

-Silence-

We found him dead at the bottom of the old bridge near the edge of town.

Your father has committed suicide.

IM SO SORRY! (╥﹏╥)!
I KNOW I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN FOREVER AND THEN I DECIDE TO WRITE THIS JOKE OF A CHAPTER. I SWEAR I'M SORRY!
PLEASE FORGIVE ME!
ಥ_ಥ

Other then that flop of an update, I hope you guys enjoyed my chapter. I tried making it a bit longer, (as a sort of sorry for being such a bad updated) but it didn't turn out as long as I thought it would be.

I swear I try my best to update faster, but school is never friendly to me. And writing blocks are appearing everyone's day, giving me no motivation to get up and write. Hopefully you guys can forgive me.

Other then that, please comment and vote on my story if you enjoyed it, I love seeing those notifications. Also pleas, please, PLEASE let me know if you find any errors. I'll be more then happy to fix them.

Also check out my other stories as this one is coming to and end (if I actually update)!

Right now I'm going to be working on my new story "Philly's Phlower Shop" which is still a work in progress, but I hope you guys still enjoy that one as well.

Thank you for all the support guys, and please message me if you have any questions or suggestions.

THANK YOU!

-Alex