Closing her eyes, she stretched her arms for Meredith to put the red dress on her. It is her favourite dress. It is her wedding day. Yet she is not wearing a wedding dress, she is not even wearing white.

She told everyone she doesn't want a white wedding dress, because it is racist and sexist. She told that to herself too, but she knows damn well that it is a lie. She doesn't want a white, fluffy wedding dress because she is not marrying him. She will only wear a wedding dress for him. And he is not him.

'Owen is a great guy. You will be happy with him, and he will love you as hard as he could.' This is the one thing she kept telling herself since he proposed. She agreed almost instantly because she loves him. At least it should be. She does not regret. Cristina Yang will never regret.

She passed out right after placing the last suture on Derek's chest. When she collapsed on the OR floor, a faint hope appears in her mind. She wanted to see him. She want him here. She dreamt of waking up to him warm embrace, telling her he is sorry for leaving and sorry for making her go through all those crap with Erica Hahn, his mother, Teddy… And most importantly, how regretful is he for fleeing on their wedding, destroying their happily ever after, and not giving her a chance to show him how much she loved him.

Then she woke up, only to find a pair of blue eyes instead of the pair of brown eyes she had been dreaming of. He stroked her hair and kissed her hand, she closed her eyes, imagining him doing the exact same things to her. Then he said, "Marry me Cristina. Do you want to marry me?"

She blinked confusedly, he looks delicate, like he will break into pieces if she said anything other than yes. She nodded her head. He sighed in relieve and hugged her happily. She put her arms around his wrist, smelling the scent of Owen from his hair. She knows she could be happy with him, just that she doesn't want to.

She lied on the hospital bed for three days before being discharged. She spent those three days trying to picture a future with Owen. But she couldn't. Human's mind is a ridiculous system sometimes. When she is with HIM, she could imagine living in a beautiful house in the suburb of Seattle, raising three lovely children and a dog. She will become a renowned surgeon, and he will be the chief of Seattle Grace. They will become a kickass cardio dream team, and they will be happy. Now, when she is with Owen, she can't imagine what their future would be like. She couldn't even tell whether they will be happy.

Her inner self keeps yelling to her, saying that this marriage is a mistake. She thinks she loves Owen, just not as much as she loved HIM. Although the idea of HIM is thrown to the back of her mind most of the time, she knows she will run away with him immediately if he come back and ask for her.

If he would ever come back.

"Cristina! You look so beautiful!" April Kepner, Meredith's perky new friend, seems like she is going to cry when she walks into the room. She smiled slightly as a response.

"Okay, we are ready! Cristina, are you ready to go?" Meredith asked her. She looked at her best friend, who looked happy and worried at the same time. Meredith can always see through her. She definitely knows that she has someone else in her mind right now.

"Why wouldn't I be ready? Let's go." She grabbed Meredith's hand and stood up. April handed her the bouquet and walks down the stairs. She took a deep breath and followed April.

She saw all her friends standing in the living room, all smiling and grinning happily at her. And then she saw Owen standing in front of the fireplace, waiting for her. She walks towards him, and stopped next to him, staring at the man she is going to marry.

And all she could see is HIM. The red hair is replaced by black hair, the ocean blue eyes are chocolatey brown, and Owen's pale skin turns into dark skin. She recalls last time when she stood in a chapel with him, she felt excited and nervous, but she is happy. Happy for becoming the wife of the man she loves, happy for finally becoming Mrs Burke, although she would never admit it.

And now she stands in Meredith's living room with Owen, and she feels wrong. She loves Owen, but she is not sure whether marrying him would be a correct thing to do.

"Cristina, do you take Owen as your lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish until death do you part?

He looked at her eagerly, waiting for her response. She opened her mouth, wanted to make a sound, but she couldn't. She looked across from Owen's shoulder at the door of Meredith's house. For one second, she hoped to see HIM walk through those doors, come into the living room, hold her hand and take her as his bride.

Yet, nothing she imagined came true. The door was closed and no one is walking in. Her glaze moved back to Owen's face. He is still waiting for her to say the words. Owen's face overlapped with Burke's face. In this split second, she feels like she is at the chapel standing next the love of her life again.

"I do." She said. Owen grinned happily and slipped the ring onto her finger. Her friends clapped and congratulated them. She couldn't hear a word they say. She is drown in her own world, picturing what it would be like if they proceed on their wedding day. They would then left for a honeymoon in Hawaii, they will have a lot of sex, maybe then she will get pregnant with a baby. She will be frantic at first, angry at him for making her pregnant during her residency. But she will be attached to the baby very quickly, and she will love her kid more than everything in the world.

Owen pushes one strand of her hair to the back of her ear, and kissed her on her lips. She closed her eyes, a drop of tear dripped down her cheek. Her imaginary world break into pieces. A voice inside her keep screaming the same phrase over and over:

He is not the one.