Author's Notes: Behold! An epilogue. A year and a half later is better than never! Happy Infinity-War-Trailer Day!

The Empire Strikes Back

PenPatronus

Epilogue

"Disappointing my kids. I'm supposed to go waterskiing."

-Clint Barton

THREE WEEKENDS LATER

Green vines with brilliant red, peach, and yellow flowers crisscrossed a white sign that read, in flowing black letters: Monongahela Manor. Beyond open cast iron gates, at the crest of a cement driveway that zigzagged up a shallow hill of healthy grass, stood the largest mansion the Barton family had ever seen. Three stories of pristine white bricks. A five-car garage. A dozen chimney stacks. Balconies across the entire length of the house. Three elevators that they could see. An outside spiral staircase that led up to a crow's nest at the highest point of the roof. More windows than they could count.

"Holy shit!" Cooper shouted. "This place is as wide as a football field!"

His mother was too shocked to correct his 'bad' language. "Whoa. You're sure we're in the right place?" Laura asked her husband.

Clint chuckled. His smile was as bright as the afternoon sunlight. "Were you expecting a two-room cabin? This is on Tony Stark's dime."

"I bet this place has a pool!" said Lila.

"Bet this place has a zip code," muttered Laura. She looked down at her outfit and scowled at her faded olive-green t-shirt and jeans ripped at both knees. "Are we… Are we underdressed for this?"

Clint rolled up the long sleeves of his button-down plaid shirt. Mud caked his farming boots and his jeans had grass stains like polka dots. "It's a vacation, honey. Anyone not wearing casual civvies is weird."

In the back of the small navy car, between his big brother and big sister, a baby woke up and squealed. "Nathaniel says we should go inside!" Cooper translated. The front doors opened right then. The family recognized Natasha, who wore a black bikini underneath denim shorts and a white tank top. She waved them forward. Clint put the car into gear and pulled into the last spot in the garage.

It was like walking into a luxury hotel. There was even a man wearing a pressed tuxedo who insisted on taking their suitcases to their suite. Natasha gave Laura a hug and a peck on the cheek, greeted 'Traitor,' then grabbed the kids' hands and escorted them through the gigantic living room to an open-air veranda. Clint and Laura followed with Nathaniel only after they ordered drinks at the fully stocked bar. Outside, Cooper and Lila jumped up and down at the sight of the west side of the mansion. Three swimming pools. Two hot tubs. Padded picnic tables beneath wide umbrellas. Palm trees, outside showers, a cage the size of their car full of exotic birds. A mini golf course to their left and a basketball court to their right. And all of it was directly on the shore of the Monongahela River. Two pontoon boats and three motor boats were docked along a wide oak pier.

Natasha, her red hair in a tight ponytail and her eyes shaded by wide sunglasses, sat in the center of a padded bench and gestured for the Barton's to join her. Once the group was situated, she slipped a SHIELD-issue communicator into her ear and reported, "Birds are in the nest. Mission is a go."

"No, no," said Clint with a sly grin. "No missions! No farming, no training, no missions for a week!"

"It's probably not that kind of mission, Dad," said Lila, rolling her eyes. "Not one of your stupid arrow tournaments!"

Natasha's palm covered her mouth, muting a snort-laugh. "How old is she now?" she mouthed at Clint.

"Not old enough," Laura mimed back.

Clint pretended to lift a bow and fire an arrow. "Let her believe I'm training Olympians for a few more years!" he whispered. Natasha gave him a thumb's up.

Cooper, who followed the entire exchange, pointed proudly at himself. "I know!" he whispered behind his sister's back. "My dad's a superhero. He saves the world!"

Lila heard him. "Iron Man is a superhero!" she said after a laugh. "Daddy and Auntie Nat are just his friends."

Rumbling in the distance. The kids sat up straight when a motor boat zoomed in from the south. And trailing from the boat at the end of 25-foot rope, exactly like in the drawing Lila made for Tony in the hospital, was a waterskiing Iron Man. Both kids stood up on the bench, raised their arms, and cheered.

Nat leaned past Cooper and said, "Look at the name of the boat."

Clint did. "That's a coincidence. Stark owns a boat named 'Laura'?"

"No," Nat said, "you do."

All ten of Laura's fingers cupped her own cheeks. "He didn't… He—He—It's ours?"

"No more renting." Natasha had to speak louder to be heard over the kids' excited shouts when the motor boat passed close enough to splash the dock with water. "Don't give me that look, Clint. I got a present, too. Everyone did."

Clint aimed his thumb at the building behind them. "Don't tell me you got the house."

"Pretty sure that's for Pepper."

Down on the water, Tony lifted his right arm into the air. Instead of activating the repulsor, he launched red and gold fireworks into the cloudless sky. Lila twirled around and hugged her father's neck. "Daddy, you have the coolest friends!"

The doorbell rang at 9pm. Tony's hair was still wet from his dip in the pool with Pepper. He still wore his swim trunks and nothing else but a sleeveless t-shirt. Steve stood on the front porch wearing jeans and sheepish look. "This place is like a dream," he said. "And look at you—on your feet. Not even using a walker."

"If I need one I'll just borrow yours, Grandpa." Tony shut the door behind Cap and then pulled his friend in for a quick hug. "Glad you came."

"Me, too. Can't remember the last time I had a vacation… Probably because I've never had a vacation."

Both of Tony's eyebrows popped up. "No trips to the beach when you were a kid? Fishing? Hiking? Nothing?"

Steve shrugged. "Went on a Ferris Wheel once."

"Well, then consider this the first annual vacation. From now on, we're doing this every year."

The living room was beyond crowded. Spread out among half a dozen couches arranged in a circle were the Barton's, Natasha, Pepper, Maria Hill, Fury, Phil Coulson, Scott, Sam Wilson, Bucky, Wanda, T'Challa, Rhodey, Sharon, and Vision. Nathaniel, Lila, Cooper, and Scott's daughter, Cassie, were upstairs in bed. Everyone held up their glasses to greet Cap. Steve sat between Bucky and Sharon and greeted both by patting their knees.

Tony held his hand out for Pepper. She took it, and stood up beside him. "A toast!" Stark announced. Pepper raised her appletini and Tony his Scotch. "To the best vacation of our lives!" he said. "To SHIELD, to Earth, I guess! And to…" Tony cleared his throat. His eyes shone. "To all of you. You've each, in one way or another, saved my life. I owe you more than I can say and, you know me, I love to hear myself talk." The room chuckled. "So…Cheers! Cheers to the Avengers—cheers to us!"

"To us!" everyone agreed. Glasses clinked. Shots were swallowed. Hugs were exchanged. And the Avengers family settled in for a well-deserved vacation.

The End

…Seriously!