RUHLSAR000 Here! And this is the last chapter of I Don't Blame You. This feels really weird, especially given how different it is from what I intended. Originally, it was a trial based event where Finn had to prove he was worth to be a padawan. That would have been longer than the last chapter. And I am not writing another 40-page chapter for this thing. Though, depending on how this chapter goes over I may be persuaded to post Asha and Ben first meeting after the Temple. All that said, I kind of like this more especially after the chaos of the last chapter.

Phoenix Wren "watches" Finn practice as she instructed. To her back, the lifeforms of the base swarm in barely organize chaos. Flying insect's light swirl around them like shooting stars. It's moments like this she doesn't feel truly blind.

The Force swirls around her far stronger than it did a decade ago when she was first injured. It ebbs and swirls in and out of all living things causing them to glow with their emotions. Flying insect that once at one point annoyed her streaks all around her like tiny shooting stars and the once calming hum has turned into a song of comfort.

A familiar shimmering silver creature crawls up to her and hops into her lap, demanding pets. Asha smirks grateful that Loth-cat variate of the tooka species can live twenty plus years in captivity. Melia is still soul-suckingly adorable.

"Keep your guard up. Your melee training didn't teach you that?" Phoenix calls, out fumbling for the datapad she had left next to her.

"How does she-" Finn mutters.

"My ears work fine, Finn. Fifty more repetitions. And watch your back leg. It's coming out of the box." Phoenix rolls her whitish water-colored eyes, as she plugs an earbud into one of her ear to listen to the analysis of the data retrieved by her sister-in-arms, Skyla Wren.

But before she presses play she sees two orange humanoids approach her from behind. She smirks. "Hey. Sorry for stealing your planet for our new base, Master Jedi." She says sarcastically and is rewarded with a good-natured chuckle as the two sits down on either side of her. "Welcome to the Rebellion, Lady Isolda. We are glad to have your strategic insight." Phoenix smiles

Her greeting is met with a pinch to the cheek. "How many times have I told you, you don't need to use a title with me?"

"Uncle, Aunt Izzy's being mean to me." Phoenix whines.

"Good. It builds character." The old Jedi Master says. Isolda releases her cheek with a hearty laugh.

"I have plenty of kriffing character, Uncle Ezra." Phoenix jabs her elbow in his side.

"Oww! Really, Asha? Picking on a blind old man." Her uncle huffs good-naturedly.

"Asha?" Finn calls back.

"Ignore them or the fifty reps becomes five-hundred," Phoenix shouts to him, before turning back to her uncle. "I think you can handle being picked on, Uncle."

"You're starting him on form VIII," Ezra notes with a nod of approval. "Good. With his background, it would act as a good transition into lightsaber form."

"He actually already used a lightsaber in battle with decent results. Twice. And scored in the top ninety-nine percentiles of Stormtrooper." Phoenix corrects.

Ezra nods, knowing that is far more impressive now than when he was a child undercover at the academy. "So, the kid is more naturally inclined to physical manifestations…"

"That may mean having to have him meditate more on the more esoteric and abstract aspects of the Force…" Isolda mumbles, thinking out loud.

"Actually, I think he was more of an empathic nature, but his situation forced him to develop other skills. Much like someone else I know." Phoenix smirks. "He has been very much affected by the awakening."

Ezra nods, "Right, the visions. Why you brought him here in the first place."

"And why you verbally spanked my butt into manning up and taking him on as my padawan," Phoenix says.

"I wouldn't say that…" Ezra shifts, uncomfortably.

"You brought up Aki," Phoenix says. Isolda reaches over and smacks her lover on the back of the head.

"She needed the push," Ezra says rubbing the impact spot. "And OW! You've been wearing a wedding band for over a decade and a half. I shouldn't need to tell you to watch the ring."

"Yeah, well this one's new," Isolda smirks. "And that was a low blow. Now, going back to the awakening, any idea what caused it?"

Ezra shrugs "The Force is myster-"

"It was my padawan and his friend. Both of who are Force-sensitive." Phoenix says, pointing to Finn. "FINN! You're out of the box start again." Finn sighs but does as he is told. "It is so weird that he doesn't grumble."

"Backgrounds. And how did he cause it? And where is this friend?" Ezra asks.

"Rey. Or that's what she is calling herself now. She was sent on a mission to get Master Skywalker." Phoenix smiles.

Isolda lets out a low whistle, "I don't envy her right now. Why didn't you just send her Ezra's way? Sure, he's pigheaded-"

"Hey!"

"But he won't ignore the awakening that has occurred," Isolda smirks at her husband.

"Because she is the only one who can succeed," Phoenix leans back, looking up at the sky. Her mind processes the ebbs and flow of the Force in colors she's forgotten, and maybe never knew to begin with, painting the sky like an abstract mural. Asha, for a moment, allows herself to think how Aunt Sabine would have loved it.

"Doubtful…" Isolda sighs. "I spent a solid month with Leia trying to convince him not to bugger off in an X-wing."

"Guys, she's Ria," Phoenix whispers, softly so that Finn can't hear her. They both shoot up straight as a rod and stare at her gobsmacked. "I only was able to maneuver myself to speak with her for a minute but I'd know that Force signature anywhere. It's her."

"Then why didn't you look for her before?" Isolda asks.

"I didn't think there was anything to look for. Aki said…" Phoenix lets her voice trail off. And then arms encircle her from either side. "I think Ben took her there and hid her. To Jakku, that's where she is reportable from."

"Poor girl, that's almost as bad as Tatooine." Ezra scrunches his nose.

"But it's hidden…" Phoenix says. "From everything."

"Asha…" Ezra says, recognizing that something is off.

Phoenix sighs, "I… My last mission didn't go well… I was captured. Not necessarily anything unusual there…"

"But?" Ezra prompts.

"Ben was there…" Asha says, barely more than a whisper.

Ezra goes still than squeezes her tighter. "What did he do?" He all but growls. Isolda squeezes his hand and tries to send calming waves to them. This is hampered a bit by her own anger.

"He… let me go…" Asha says. "After five minutes of staring at me, he handed me my lightsaber. Told me to wait two minutes and the guard would sound the alarm in twenty-five minutes."

"Twenty-five minutes? You must be losing your touch…" Isolda tries to joke but it falls flat.

"You've been hanging out with him too much." Phoenix jabs a thumb in her uncle's direction. "And it only took me 17.5 minutes to get out of there. What do you take me for an amateur?"

"And that's it?" Ezra asks.

Phoenix deflates as she is brought back on topic. "Yeah, that's it. Uncle, he was so conflicted. His emotions were swirling around so much I couldn't tell up from down. He… I can't imagine he isn't doing much better. Do you think we could… that it's possible he could-"

"No." Ezra says flatly.

"It's possible, Uncle. It's possible for everyone. Vader proved that. Karabast. Revan proved it." Asha says, with a huff.

"But it's hard. You know that. Probably better than most." Ezra sighs. "And what would you do if he did?" Ezra asks, harshly, his own pain echoing in his words. Isolda leans over and squeezes his shoulder.

"I'd wager it would involve a good right hook, but after that I don't know," Asha sighs, admitting her complicated feelings for him. The best friend she has ever had still stolen everything from her, after all. "But, didn't Vader return because Luke loved and believed in the light within him?"

"Yes." Isolda response with a cringe.

"And didn't you return, Uncle, because Mom and Dad saw the light in you?" Asha asks, again.

"Yes." Ezra nods with a sigh.

"And you believed that light was still within me." Asha finishes. "You didn't give up on me. I can't give up on him. Especially after seeing the light within him." Especially, since it's her-

Her uncle squeezes her hand as if sensing her thoughts but says nothing regarding it. They've had that conversation enough to know where the other stands. And, frankly, it involves enough self-blame to make a therapist cry. "And with that light in him, he killed his father."

"And it ripped him apart enough to be beaten by his cousin who does remember any of the basic lightsaber lessons."

"Wait. What?!" Isolda asks. And Phoenix can already see her academic mind racing for precedents and explanations. "A Force-suggestion? Maybe. Ben is powerful, but Ria wasn't exactly weak minded and Force-sensitives have natural shielding to that…" She begins mumbling under her breath.

Asha rolls her eyes. "Yes, she doesn't remember. I don't know if the general recognized her or not. Look I am not going to actively try and bring him to the light, but if he's there and willing I am going to help."

Ezra sighs. He's been doing that a lot these days. "I suppose that all I can ask is to be careful. I can't lose anyone else."

"You've been saying that since you were half my age, Uncle. We both know it isn't true." Phoenix rolls her eyes. "But I'll be careful."

"Good." Ezra nods.

"What was that about Leia not recognizing her niece?" Isolda asks, tilting her head in the way she did when she had a difficult translation or confusing piece of something she is examining. "I know Leia's a bit gung-hoe about the Resistance, but…"

"Hey, I just found out she can't name, let alone recognize, her son's best friend and childhood crush. I need a few months before I build up that confidence in her ability to handle her family relationships back up. Maybe after Chewie and Rey stun Skywalker's butt and drag him back here." Asha huffs, grumbling something about needing a drink.

Isolda groans, "What is with Skywalkers being emotionally constipated?"

"I don't know." Asha shakes her head. "It'd be funny if the galaxy didn't hang in the balance every time one of them has a temper tantrum."

Ezra nods, standing up, "Well, I need to go prove myself as the grouchy old neighbor and yell at Leia. I just came out here to see how you were."

Asha tilts her head, "Is that a good idea?"

Ezra chuckles. "Don't know, don't care. It's not like I can be court-martialed by her anymore." Asha laughs, as her uncle hugs and kisses her head.

Asha returns the hug. "And don't do anything crazy. My boyfriend already thinks you're crazy."

"Well, I did threaten to hurl him into the nearest star if he hurt you." Ezra chuckles.

"Wouldn't it be stranger if you hadn't?" Isolda shakes her head.

"I don't know. Probably." Asha shakes her head. "We'll be in soon. Or we would IF FINN DIDN'T KEEP HAVING HIS LEG OUT OF THE BOX!"

"You've got to be kidding me." Finn groans in the distance.

"We'll come and get you if you're still out here in an hour." Ezra smiles, before turning toward Finn, "Worry not, Finn. Take weeks to learn this, 'Phoenix' did." Ezra leans heavily on his old cane. "Love you, Sweetheart."

Isolda hugs her as well, "And don't forget."

"I won't" Phoenix chuckles. "Now, go. You have someone to yell at." And they do. Asha doesn't call Finn out on a limb exiting the box a little. He still learning and her uncle was right about how long it took her.

"Finished," Finn smiles as he finishes. He steps out of the box, wiping sweat from his forehead.

"Nicely done," Phoenix nods.

"Master Ezra didn't do that weird backward speaking to you," Finn says, approaching her.

"Yeah, he only does that to make sure people listen to him." Phoenix smiles, offering him a bottle of water. "And I always listen."

"That makes no sense," Finn says, taking the water bottle.

"Of course, I listen to him. He's my uncle and was my teacher. How does that not make sense?" Phoenix tilts her head, amused.

Finn rolls his eyes getting used to the weirdness of the Jedi. He pauses, "Phoenix?"

"Yes?" Phoenix smiles.

"What was that about Rey?" Finn asks.

Phoenix sucks in a breath, "She… Her real name is Sotiria Skywalker, the daughter of Jedi Masters Luke and Mara Jade Skywalker. I used to babysit her when she wasn't even up to my knee for holo-drama cash."

"I take it you didn't tell her," Finn says, clearly confused and mildly accusing.

"Finn, you'll find that the right timing and the right people mean a kriffing lot in this life. I had five seconds to talk to her as she was heading out." Phoenix shrugs. "Not really something I should have sprung on her when she's already nervous about meeting Master Skywalker, the legend." Phoenix snorts. "Legendarily emotionally stunted more like it. Fair warning, Finn, Skywalkers are fiercely passionate, but they rarely know how to deal with those passions."

"Speaking from personal experience?" Finn asks, his shoulder far too stiff for Phoenix's liking. He's nervous around her.

"I've known all but the founding matriarch, Shmi. I even spoke to Jedi Master Anakin Skywalker after the Fall of the Second Jedi Order." Phoenix admits.

"And that includes Kylo Ren," Finn says harshly.

Phoenix breathes, wondering how to approach this with the needed nuance. "No, I don't know Kylo Ren. But he wasn't always Kylo Ren. I met Ben Solo when he was nine years old. He left the Temple when he was sixteen. During that time, he was impatient, quick to anger, and socially inept. But he was also kind, loyal to his friends and rarely had his nose out of a book. Life isn't simply black and white as much as we'd like it to be. There are bad guys that think and do good things. There are good guys that do bad. And every shade in between. Not black, not white, not even grey. It's a technicolor mess of color that will make you nausea, cry, or laugh. Sometimes all three at the same time. I should know it's literally all I can see." Phoenix smirks. "My relationship with Kylo Ren is just as messy. Yes, he let me go. But he also gave me this." She points to the scare covering her eyes.

"Do you think he can be persuaded to leave the First Order?" Finn asks.

Phoenix gives a non-committal shrug, "You tell me. You know Kylo Ren as well as I do. As for Ben, I don't know. Maybe, that depends on him. Though, if he wants to I will give him a helping hand. After all, no matter how I deny it, that's what I am."

"What?" Finn asks, confused.

"A Jedi." Asha smiles a little. "Now, are you done interrogating me or should we turn this into a game of two lies and a truth?"

Finn is silent for a moment before responding, "Aki?"

"Drop it." Phoenix glares at the ground. "She's gone and that's what matters." She goes to finger her old woven bracelet turned white with time. She doesn't feel. Phoenix feels her entire arm. "Finn, is there a bracelet on my right wrist?"

Finn looks at her confused. "The one you were wearing yesterday? No, you haven't been wearing it all day. I assume you didn't put it on today"

Phoenix takes a deep panicked breath before Aki's words drift into her mind so clearly that it could have just been whispered into her ears. "Right… I didn't need it anymore." She takes a shaky breath. "You heading back?"

"Yes, I am heading on a mission with Poe early tomorrow so we're getting briefed tonight," Finn says, putting his jacket back on.

"Right," Phoenix nods, "When you see my boyfriend, tell him I'm going to be late for dinner."

Finn nods, "Sure." He begins walking away.

"Finn!" She calls after him. He turns back to her. "FYI, if you steal him, I will come after you." She teases.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Finn says.

"Sure. Oh, if you ask out Rey, well, expect a conversation you won't enjoy." She says, unable to keep the smirk off her face.

"I am leaving now." Finn shakes his head exasperated, causing Phoenix to burst into laughter.

Asha smiles her loth-cat curling into her lap with a comforting purr. The galaxy is a disaster field. And they're the cleaners. But that isn't anything new. Life's messy and short, especially for them. Casting blame for that does nothing but cause more hurt and pain. There's already too much of that. So, she's not going add her own to the pot. "I don't blame them anymore." Asha whispers and she can't tell who the "them" she's talking about are. The Force takes away her anger, frustration, and blame. It leaves her tears and her laughter, her shouts and huffs, her sighs and her smirks.

Thank You Time! And thank you, everyone, for sticking with this to the end. It's been an awesome ride.

Thank you, Jedi Master Seth Skywalker, for favoriting and following. Thank you, Midnight Luna, for reviewing. So now that you've processed the last chapter did you like it? What about this one? Also, I've been meaning to ask, why haven't you gotten your own account after all this time?

Thank You, Everyone!