Aoba visits Noiz in the hospital as often as he can. Sometimes they have sex, despite Aoba's protestations of "The doctor says you should avoid strenuous activity!" Noiz's responses are invariably along the lines of "So I should relax. Help me relax."

Sometimes they just goof off or talk – about anything, really. Games, new tech, Granny's cooking, how was work today? The way Noiz asks – stilted, almost shy, as if he's just now properly learning how to be human – strangely makes Aoba feel like he's coming home, though his cute young "wife" is actually a bratty punk with a face full of metal and a multitude of thin, fading scars covering his hands.

The quiet visits are the best ones, where they just sit together without feeling like they have to fill all the spaces. Today is a quiet visit. Aoba sits on the edge of the hospital bed with a glossy new magazine opened up on his lap. Noiz is sitting up as well, chin on Aoba's shoulder and wiry arms wrapped around Aoba's waist.

It's a computer magazine geared more toward hardware, which is Aoba's specialty. He has to know how to build and fix computers for work, but he also likes learning how to take things apart and put them back together again, better and faster than before. He likes being the link between the physical and the virtual. Software is more Noiz's specialty – coding, hacking, speaking to computers to get them to learn new things or do things they wouldn't normally do. Still, he reads over Aoba's shoulder and sometimes taps at new chipsets or peripherals that he thinks are interesting. Just as much as he enjoys having a lover, Aoba also enjoys finally having a friend who gets his tech babble.

Thinking of Noiz as a lover or even just a good friend is new. It's only been a month into their relationship, after all, and Aoba still struggles to figure out where they stand. He can't help but wonder what will change once Noiz gets discharged. They'll finally have that Rhyme battle, and have dinner with Granny, and…? Aoba has never had a serious relationship before – that he can remember, anyway. He doubts he did anything more than fuck around as Sly, though, and it's not like Noiz has done anything more than fuck around, either.

This thing they have going on? Nowhere near 'fucking around'. So far into the uncharted territory beyond 'fucking around' that Aoba feels like he should be looking around for a map and compass to help navigate.

Both of them are completely new to this thing blossoming between them, and everything had progressed too quickly for him to properly analyze. All the same, the thought of Noiz brushing him off once he's not the only piece of ass available has Aoba's breath hitching uncomfortably. He knows, he knows Noiz wouldn't do that, but the doubts won't go away. Aoba knows he's not a model for mental health; split personalities and mind control powers aside, he has abandonment issues from his parents or something, and fuck. Noiz has abandonment issues from his parents too. What a pair they make.

"What is it?" Noiz asks.

"Huh?"

"Your hands are shaking."

"It's nothing."

Noiz huffs softly, obviously disbelieving. The puff of air tickles against Aoba's ear. "Yeah, that's why you've been staring at the same page for twenty minutes. And don't think I can't feel your heartbeat picking up when I'm like this."

"Respect your elders, kid. Don't pry into adult situations." The deflection is automatic. Aoba cringes immediately, mentally berating himself for his inability to be just straight-up honest for once in his damned life. But then, how can he be when he can't even put words to half the things he's feeling?

"Tch. You tell me to grow up, but you keep treating me like a kid. I shouldn't have told you my age."

"You only told me because I'd already guessed it from how bratty you act."

"Whatever."

Noiz closes his eyes, long lashes fluttering against Aoba's cheek. Crisis averted, Aoba thinks, though it doesn't make him feel relieved. He should have handled that better.

There are only a few days left before Noiz will be cleared for discharge. Only a few more opportunities for visiting this somewhat-tame version of Noiz who can't do anything crazier than letting Aoba ride his dick. It might even be the very last quiet visit before things inevitably change, and visiting hours are almost over. Aoba doesn't want to end the day on a sour note.

The room is silent but for their breathing while Aoba mulls over his choices. Even without using Scrap, his words have the power to permanently change things, and he won't know if he's made the right choice until after he's said them. That's a scary thought. Still, he has to try.

"Noiz?" he calls out. "I'm sorry."

Without turning around, Aoba can still tell that Noiz is frowning, confused, his brows furrowing in a way Aoba has come to think of as cute.

"Why?"

"I like being with you like this. Before, I was just… worried, I guess, that things won't be so simple for us once you're fully recovered."

"Oh? Were you wanting to keep me permanently bedridden? Kinky."

"God you're gross sometimes. I'd punch you in the mouth for only thinking about sex all the time, but then I remembered it's not your fault for being a hormonal teenager who probably hasn't left puberty yet."

"Only makes you seem like a pedo when you keep bringing up my age."

"Fuck," Aoba says, smacking his palms over his face. "Fuck me—"

"Gladly."

Aoba whirls around to glare at Noiz. "Let me finish my apology!"

"Unless what comes after 'fuck me' are requests for how you'd like the deed done, I don't want to hear it." Noiz's lips are set in a stubborn line. He looks close to being upset.

The whole point of the apology was to smooth things over, to take more steps to clear things up and try to be more honest with each other. Well, fuck if it isn't botched now. Aoba sighs.

"Will you at least listen to a request of a different kind, then?"

"Depends."

"On what?"

"I'll listen, but I'll only comply if I want to."

"All right, sounds fair," Aoba says. He wipes his sweaty palms on his jeans before leaning back in to take Noiz's hands, running his thumbs over the piercings there. "I want to be there for you. Whenever you need someone, I want you to know you can count on me. You can even call me in the middle of the night; I won't get mad."

"Not even a little bit?"

"Well, I'll be pissed if you're picking fights again, but I won't be mad you called." Aoba continues at Noiz's amused snort. He babbles. "So… I hope it's not too much to ask you to be there for me, too. Stay with me, be by my side, become someone I can rely on. I'm not asking for forever, just for as long as you're willing." The words come rushing out before his thoughts catch up, leaving him flushing in embarrassment.

Noiz leans in to breathe his answer into Aoba's parted lips.

"Okay."

They kiss lightly, pulling back just in time. A nurse knocks on the door to announce that visiting hours are over.

"Okay," Aoba says, "I'll see you tomorrow."

You were about to say 'love', weren't you, Aoba?

"Yeah."

You are asking for forever, aren't you, Aoba?

"It feels like it could be a forever kind of thing."

Coward, coward, coward~

"I'll tell him next time. Next time…"

Noiz is gone. He hasn't been responding to coil messages for days. Aoba worries incessantly, then berates himself for worrying. What if Noiz just left? No, it's an insult to Noiz to think he would be that fickle. But what if he's hurt again? No, it's also insulting to think he wouldn't be able to call for help. He'd said "okay" to being there for Aoba, and Aoba had sent messages saying "I just want to talk. Are you free?" To refuse to respond to even those… In some ways it hurts less to think Noiz is incapacitated in some way.

Thinking like that makes him feel even worse about himself. If Noiz doesn't respond soon, Aoba's going to round up a search party. The logistics of it – all the favors he'll have to call in – are giving him a headache before he's even started.

Granny notices the change in Aoba's mood the very first night when Aoba's "friend" doesn't show up for dinner even though he'd been expressly invited. And Tae knew who this "friend" was; she knew how much of her cooking had been going to the hospital over the past month. Hell, she was the one who'd told Aoba to extend the invitation in the first place.

Aoba brushes it off, saying, "He's probably still sore that I beat him at a game this afternoon," but Noiz's childishness had never been this petty, and Aoba doesn't want to think Noiz is deliberately being cruel, not after everything they've been through together.

Some nights later, Aoba gets embarrassingly drunk and sends a slew of ranting voicemails that alternately go from, "Fuck you for toying with me!" to "Please call me back, I really think we can work things out." In the morning, Granny just frowns. She doesn't yell. She even brings up breakfast and checks him for a fever like he's ten years old again.

He grabs her gnarled old hand as she's about to pull back and says, in a fit of melancholy nostalgia, "You know I'm never going to leave you, right Granny? I'm not like Mom. I won't just pack up and leave everything behind for a whirlwind romance."

"Hmph. Don't make promises you can't keep."

"I'm serious. Even if I move out, even if it's to someplace far away, we can still talk through our coils. I know you don't like to use yours, so I'll write emails and send postcards too, not like them, who only remember you once a year at best."

She smacks him over the head. "Don't badmouth your parents, either."

"It's just the truth," Aoba says with a pout. "At the very least I'd never adopt a kid only to drop him off at your doorstep and expect you to do all the actual work of being a parent."

Granny sighs. "Take it easy today."

And Aoba does. He has the day off from Heibon, so he checks in on Mizuki, then loiters around downtown. It's been a while since the last time he's just hung out with Ren. They look at new Allmate models and discuss possible upgrades to Ren's aging components.

It's nearing dusk when he powers off Ren and slides himself into an empty alleyway to make his first and only call to Noiz for the day. He's in Benishigure territory, so it's safe enough, but Aoba still checks to make sure he's alone because what he wants to say is private.

The call goes directly to voicemail, as expected. "Noiz," he starts, then takes in a shaky breath before gaining the courage to continue, "I didn't want the first time I said this to you to be through a voice message while I'm hiding in a dingy alley… Well, that doesn't matter. I'll understand if you don't feel the same, but I just thought you deserved to know why I've been blowing up your coil all the time. I worry about you because… because I love you."

It feels like the words have been caught in his throat for so long. Aoba laughs now that they're finally free. The dam has broken. Screw timing and screw romance. To hell with pride and propriety. What Aoba loves most about Noiz is his honesty, so honesty is the currency with which he'll pay him back. "I love you, love you, love you," he says hysterically. "I'm sorry, I can't help it, I just felt like saying it. Love you, Noiz. Love you…"

He clutches his coil to his chest long after the message has been sent. Then, the unexpected happens.

He gets a reply.

It's just one line: an address.

Aoba's mind goes blank. All he remembers of the trip are labored breaths, his legs pumping along concrete, the sound of blood rushing through his ears. When he gets to Noiz's apartment, he pounds so hard on the unlocked door that it slams right open and sends him sprawling to the floor in an undignified heap, Ren's bag luckily making a soft landing on the doormat.

It's a small studio apartment. Junk is piled high in the corners, but it looks like most of the stuff's been packed away. Noiz stands in front of the bed, and suddenly that's all Aoba sees. He only vaguely registers something different about Noiz before he scrambles to his feet and rushes to wrap the younger man in an embrace. Clinging desperately to Noiz, Aoba chokes out, "I'm so glad you're safe."

Noiz's hands come up to grip Aoba's, but he doesn't say anything.

Feeling his lover's heartbeat under his palms calms Aoba down. He's real. He's here. Aoba hesitantly glances up and finally takes in the difference he'd noted earlier. Or, rather, differences.

There's an expensive looking suit laid out on Noiz's bed, tags still on. Noiz himself is only wearing black jeans and a thin white undershirt – no neons, pastels, or mismatched accessories anywhere to be seen. Even more jarring is the lack of metal on his face and hands. Looking closely, Aoba can see the tiny holes where the piercings used to be. He reaches to trace the missing snake bites only for Noiz to catch his fingers for a kiss.

If the feelings are still there, Aoba wonders, then why would Noiz disappear like that? Their eyes meet and drift away.

"I made a mistake."

"Damn right you did! What were you thinking, worrying me like that!"

"No, I shouldn't have listened to your messages. I shouldn't have contacted you," Noiz says in his infuriatingly calm tone.

"What?!" Aoba clenches his hands, willing himself not to give into the urge to deck this bastard like he deserves. After that mortifying babbling love confession, Noiz reacts like this!

"Me too, I… Now that I've seen you again, I don't think I'll be able to go through with it."

"With what? Ditching me without a word?"

"I want to take responsibility. I'm going to become someone you can rely on."

"Huh?!"

None of what Noiz is saying makes the least bit of sense! Something must be getting lost in translation between Aoba's human speech and the language of whatever-the-fuck species Noiz belongs to. Taking responsibility, in Aoba's world, means staying in contact with your lover to build a life together. Similarly, being able to rely on someone means that someone has to be there, and Aoba tries to explain as much.

"But you already are… aren't you? It's not like you fucked and ran, at least not until recently. We're together now; we're something. I thought that was what it meant to take responsibility. I can't rely on you if you aren't here for me!"

Noiz glances to the side in embarrassment. His speech comes out slowly, carefully metered as it does when he's thinking very deeply over how to put his thoughts into words.

"My family, in Germany… At least my brother will have been looking for me. He'll give me a job, I'm sure."

"And you… miss your home?"

"It was never home."

"Then you… just don't want to stay in Midorijima anymore?"

Noiz shrugs, tilts his head to the suit on the bed. "Not a lot of respectable jobs on the island."

"I, uh, never pegged you for the type. I mean, I didn't think your goal was to become a… businessman?" Just having the words leave Aoba's own mouth is enough to confuse him. Noiz. In a suit. And a proper length tie. Possibly with a briefcase. Oh god.

"Don't particularly want to be," Noiz says with another shrug.

Aoba sighs in complete exasperation. He can't stay mad when Noiz is just being his usual not-quite-human-yet self. "I know the hospital TV was shitty, but I sincerely hope you haven't picked up any weird notions from daytime soaps."

"You would know, wouldn't you. What's the new show Yoshie-san is forcing you to watch now? Darkest Passions? Confessions of an Office Lady?"

"It's 'Love Destination: Tokyo', and it's not my fault Heibon's TV is also shitty. But my point is that you're pretty much a computing genius. Any software company around would be glad to hire you if you wanted a proper job. I don't care either way if you want to change your aesthetic, but… I just hope you didn't think you needed to have a complete makeover because of what I said."

"You deserve someone better than this," Noiz says. He sweeps his hands across the room, gesturing to the computer parts and takeout boxes strewn across the floor.

"I think that's my choice to make, and returning to Germany is your choice. Just don't shut me out of the decision process, okay?" Truthfully, the thought of Noiz leaving for foreign lands puts a sting in Aoba's chest, but what is it that they say… It's better to have loved and lost? If you love someone, let him go? Something like that.

"I wanted to… I was going to ask you to come with me once I had settled down in Germany."

"You mean for a visit? You want us to continue as a long distance relationship?"

"No, I mean for good. If you wanted, I would… try to provide a normal life for you there."

Okay, this. Now this, there's something totally wrong with this line of thinking.

Aoba fixes Noiz with a sarcastic grin. "I don't know how well I would have taken it if you'd just barged in after what – months after a sudden disappearance? And then you'd say, 'Hey Aoba, drop everything and move halfway across the world with me.' Really, Noiz? That was your plan?"

"But you would have said yes. Isn't that what everyone wants? Rich foreign prince comes riding in on a Maserati, saying, 'You're the only one for me'. Can you honestly tell me you'd say no?"

"Ah, so that's where you get your weird notions: fairy tales. In that case, I call dibs on prince since I princess-carried you. Also, a Maserati in Midorijima wouldn't look so cool because it'd be stuck in traffic all the time. What are your opinions on electric scooters?"

"But you would have," Noiz insists, green eyes intent on a proper response.

Aoba scoffs. "If I would have, it'd be because it was you who was asking, not just any prince. Honestly, you should know me by now. I've never been after your money. You could come to me dressed as a hobo or covered in full-body tattoos to go along with your piercings and I'd still go with you as long as you were still Noiz."

"You'd… You think you could be happy with me even when I'm like this."

"I already am."

"But wouldn't you be happier if—"

"No! I wanted you to grow up a bit, yeah, but you don't need a three piece suit and an office job to be a dependable guy in my eyes. I think it's sweet that you're willing to change for me – you don't know how happy I am just to hear it – but I'm already in love with you. I love you," Aoba says again, "I love you. Just the way you are."

"…Okay. Okay, then."

The piercings are sitting ready in a bowl of saline, having been placed there upon their removal. Slowly, meticulously, Aoba helps put them back in one by one.