CHAPTER 3:

Three months. That's how long it had taken Elliot to bring some kind of order to his life. The morning he had spoken to Kathy had been emotionally draining. She had cried and screamed at him. She believed it was an over reaction to the shooting. He still isn't sure she fully believes the reasons he gave her but he told her the truth. That he only went back because she was pregnant, because of Eli. He hadn't mentioned Olivia; he deliberately kept her name out of the conversation.

That night he had gone to see Cragen to hand in his notice. His Captain didn't seem too surprised when Elliot told him he was leaving the unit but he did express his dismay when Elliot said he was leaving the NYPD all together. Elliot tried to explain that he felt it was time to go. Even though he was nearing 50 he felt he needed to do something different. He just couldn't deal with these cases anymore, day in, day out.

He shocked himself at how quickly he found an apartment. He figured when you don't have a job that has crazy hours it makes a lot of things easier to do. Life becomes a little bit easier when you aren't constantly thinking the phone is going to ring, that you are going to be called out to another horrific scene.

The apartment was nice, it had 2 bedrooms (fairly large) a good size living room and a well equipped kitchen. He knew he had a bit of money coming from his retirement so he used some of that to furnish the place. It actually looked like a home, rather than his old apartment which was just a miss match of tatty second hand furniture.

He was able to put bunk beds and a regular single bed in the spare bedroom. Not that he expected the kids to all stay at once but he wanted a nice space for Eli, somewhere he would feel comfortable.

Telling their kids about the divorce had been quite easy. Both he and Kathy had called the two older girls. It wouldn't affect them too much, they were hardly ever home anyway and when they were they both would pick up on the tension. They understood that both their parents deserved a shot at happiness and the divorce meant they are free to try.

The twins had been a little more difficult. Lizzie was very quiet. She had always been the more awkward of the two, Dickie, sorry Rick, was the more outgoing. Liz seemed to know that the divorce was Elliot's idea. She had asked them if there was anything they could do to stay together. Kathy just stayed quiet and let Elliot field the questions. He explained to them both about the shooting and how it brought a lot of issues to a head.

Rick had glared at Elliot the entire time. He wonders if he is thinking back to the time he asked Olivia "How about you, ever sleep with your partner, Detective?"

She had answered him with a firm no; Elliot had watched from behind the glass of the interrogation room and was shocked at his son. The boy had changed so much and it made Elliot realise how much of Dickies life he had missed out on.

After the four of them had finished their conversation Elliot took Rick aside and assured him once again that nothing had ever happened between himself and Olivia. It wasn't like he was lying, physically at least, nothing ever happened.

Eli had been the hardest; because he is so young it is hard to explain the reasons why Daddy won't be living at home anymore. They both just tried to reassure him that Mummy and Daddy love him very much and even though Daddy isn't going to be home they will still see each other all the time. Eli didn't seem overly concerned, it wouldn't hit until he starts sleeping at Elliot's new apartment he thinks. The only thing he really wanted to know is if there would be toys at Daddy's new place.

A few weeks after he had moved out Elliot met with an old friend, Jo Marlowe. Se had heard on the grapevine about him leaving and she had told him she had a proposal she would like him to hear. The Police Academy is in the middle of setting up a new training course dealing with special victims, specifically the very young and the elderly.

Jo reveals that she s on the panel to help pick lecturers and tutors for the classes and she had thought Elliot would make an excellent choice after how long he had spent with the unit. He told her he would give it some consideration and call her.'

He kept his promise and called a couple of days later to say he was interested. Jo gave him a time to meet with the rest of the panel the next day. They would discuss the training process and what it would involve.

The meeting had gone well, they wanted him to teach couple of classes and go through case studies. It would involve techniques to interview the victims. Techniques used with young children to make them feel at ease. The case studies would be actual cases that had been investigated, not necessarily by his old unit. It was regular hours, three days a week and amazingly good pay. No being woken at midnight to go out, no missing weekends with his kids, just a regular job.

He had attended the mandatory therapy sessions directly after the shooting. Even though he had resigned the NYPD had still insisted he attend all the sessions they had made available. After these had finished he found his own shrink. He had been able to open up about a lot of things and knew he still needed help to navigate the transition from cop to citizen.

He talked to the therapist about a lot of things, his failed marriage, 20 plus years over and how he felt. The pressures he had felt on the job, dealing every day with some of the worst crimes imaginable. He talked about Olivia. The more he and his shrink had discussed his relationship with Olivia the more determined he was to prove his love and commitment to her.

The divorce was almost finalised. They still had the original papers that had been drawn up, a few things needed to be added. Kathy and Elliot sat down with their respective lawyers to add visitation arrangements for Eli. All they had to do then was re file the papers and just wait.

So here he was he felt ready to start the new chapter of his life. He had a new home, a new job and now he wanted the love of his life to share it with him. Elliot wanted Olivia.

The nights had started to feel colder; he pulled his coat tighter around his middle. He walked down a street he had become very familiar with over the past 12 years.

He stood outside the building and looked up at one particular window. The lights were off but the blinds were still open, that meant she hadn't returned home yet. He smiles slightly as he remembers conversations they have had here when he used to bring her home.

"Blink your lights when you get inside". He always told her to do that, no matter what time it was, he always made her blink her lights. That way he knew that she was safe. Nearly every time she would call him a stubborn son of a bitch, but from the smile on her face that reached her eyes he knew she was glad he cared.

So Elliot sits down on the front step of the building, Olivia's building and waits.