A/N: And now we have the third request, for my good friend FUBARinbound. When he asked for some comedic Mistonzo fluff, I was a little nervous since I've hardly ever seen anything of them from which I could draw some inspiration, but I ended up having a lot of fun with this one, and I hope you enjoy it!

It's tragic how often two people can know each other for so long and yet pass each other by like ships in the night; completely unaware that the other was there. Thankfully this story is not one of those stories, rather, it is a story of two ships that just needed a little helping hand to finally find each other. Oh. Wait. Probably shouldn't have told you that yet. S**t...

Well I guess at this point I might as well scrap all the poetic crap I had lined up for this intro since I've already made a complete mess of it. So yeah, now you know what's coming and I guess we might as well get on with it then. To use the old cliche, it all began when Mistoffelees paid me a visit one morning not so very long ago...

"Munk...? Munk? Could I have a moment?" I looked up to see the tux's head poking through the entrance to my den.

"Sure, what's on your mind?" I replied, setting down my crocheting and gesturing for him to enter. He was obviously very nervous about whatever it was he'd come to speak with me about, so I sat myself down next to him and gave him a friendly nuzzle.

"It's... It's Alonzo." The poor tux could barely manage to get the words out of his mouth without choking on them.

"What's wrong? Has he done something to you?" I'd never known Alonzo to be the sort who would do such a thing, but whatever was going on was enough to thoroughly affect the cat most known for his aloofness.

"No, no he hasn't..." At this point he was trembling and on the verge of tears.

"Everlasting, what's the matter then? I've never seen you like this before Mistoffelees."

He buried his face in my shoulder and began sobbing. "I- I love him. I hardly even know him and somehow I've fallen completely in love with him."

"What's wrong with that? Why would that have you upset? He hasn't rejected you has he?"

"It's not right! It's not the way things are meant to be."

I sighed inwardly at this. I knew at some point I'd be having this conversation with someone, but I'd hoped it wouldn't be someone as delicate as Mistoffelees. As I mentioned before, he had a reputation for being aloof in the junkyard, but I'd noticed him slip on more than occasion and came to the conclusion that his aloofness was a coping mechanism for his sensitivity. Tragically it appeared I was right, and I put my arms around the weeping tux.

"Mistoffelees I need to you listen to what I'm about to tell you. It is what it is. All things that are, were meant to be that way. You wouldn't put yourself through this kind of pain voluntarily. It may not be the way most of us are and as such may not be normal, but that doesn't make it wrong, just different. Nobody here should ever have a problem with that. If anyone does, I'll deal with it." I took a deep breath, considering my next words carefully. "There's something else you should know. But I'll need you to promise that you'll never tell anyone else."

"...ok..."

"Everyone knows Tugger is the yard flirt. He flirts with everyone, including you and the other toms. What everyone else doesn't know is that just as many toms as queens have graced his blankets."

"But he's Tugger..."

"I've done it too Mistoffelees. Right around the time we became toms, you're too young to remember, Jerrie and I had a short-lived affair. Eventually we realized it wasn't going to work out and we both went on with our lives, but neither of us regret it in the slightest."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. I wouldn't go shouting it from atop the junk piles, but it's nothing to be ashamed of..."

We stayed there together until Mistoffelees was able to collect himself. He'd returned to his normal aloofness by the time he left, but I knew he was grateful for my having been there. I stayed a few minutes more, considering the conversation I'd just had. Despite my better judgement, I decided I'd seek out Alonzo and have a chat with him.

Now some may call me a busybody, but I like to think that I'm just good at bringing people together. After I found Alonzo and had struck up a conversation, I casually began leading him to a certain spot where a certain tuxedo tom and white queen just so happened to be dancing together. Of course that was entirely coincidental and not at all my plan all along.

"Stunning aren't they?"

"Huh? What?" Alonzo shook his head, obviously not having heard what I'd said.

"I said, they look absolutely stunning."

"Yeah... stunning." He was completely gone again, staring off at the two dancers, completely enthralled.

"See something you like?"

"What?! No! What gave you that idea? Of course not- huh?" He looked as if I'd just told everyone about that rather embarrassing encounter he had with the Siamese queen that turned out to be a rather promiscuous tom.

"Easy, easy! There's no shame in finding a queen like Victoria attractive."

"Sure yeah that's it. Totally got a thing for Vicky. Yup."

"Now say it like you actually mean it Lonz."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh nothing... nothing at all..."

"You know, don't you? How did you figure it out?" His tone changed quickly from accusatory to sheepish.

"Know what Lonz?" Ok maybe that was a bit cruel, but I wanted to hear him say it, just to be sure. His response was completely unintelligible. "What did you say?"

"I said I have a crush on Misto, ok? There it is! You happy now?" In truth I was very happy, but I didn't want to give up Mistoffelees' secret.

"Is that all? Everlasting you made it sound like you were planning to murder them both!"

"You're- you're not upset?"

"Why would I be?"

"I don't know. I guess I thought people wouldn't take to kindly to this kind of thing."

Oh great. Here we go again, I thought to myself, preparing for a repeat of the morning's conversation, and repeat it I did. Alonzo, luckily, was nowhere near as weepy as Mistoffelees, but he was just as agitated. I left the part about Tugger out that time, since he obviously didn't need as much reassurance as Mistoffelees and Tugger would kill me if I ever let it out. Thank Everlasting he doesn't have any literary inclinations and will never read this.

Anyway, the moment Alonzo confessed to me the wheels in my head began turning, but it wasn't until we'd parted ways when I really began formulating my plan. At first I had all kinds of schemes, most involving seven jars of marmalade, a stick of dynamite, my crochet needles and three thousand origami cranes, but I decided it would be too difficult to guarantee the safe return of my needles so I abandoned those ideas. Eventually I realized the key to getting the two lovebirds together was simplicity. Neither of them is stupid, and one or both would've seen straight through any convoluted machinations I could have come up with.

My plan was beautiful in its simplicity. All it would require was a little smooth talking on my part in order to convince the two of them, then they'd do the rest. Simple, right?

The first part went exactly to plan. I approached both of them individually and told them I had an idea. I told them I could arrange for them to be alone on a special made-up guard detail so they could have some time alone together. Both were hesitant at first, but wound up warming to the idea and agreeing to it. Obviously I didn't tell them that I already knew they both had feelings for each other; I had to leave part of it to them!

Unfortunately however, things sort of went downhill from there. They were both a bit nervous when they met me in the clearing behind the TSE1 and neither seemed to stop fidgeting as I gave them their instructions. After I sent them on their way I followed them for a while and watched over them until they finally seemed to be getting comfortable with each other.

When I checked on them later, though, it was obvious neither of them had made any progress, so I decided to give them a little nudge it the right direction. I started gently, dropping in from time to time to ask Alonzo to help me lift something or have Mistoffelees conjure something up for me. As the day progressed I became increasingly desperate as neither of them was taking any of the opportunities I was giving them. By the time they met me back in the clearing to report on everything, I'd had enough.

Alonzo had just finished telling me about how they'd completed some utterly pointless task I'd given them when I finally cracked.

"Oh for the love of Everlasting would you two just kiss already?" I hollered in annoyance. Mistoffelees' face grew red as he stared at the ground and Alonzo's eyes grew wide with shock. "How do you think I managed to get both of you to agree to this? Mistoffelees, Alonzo thinks you're gorgeous. Alonzo, Misto is madly in love with you. Just get it over with already!" I somehow managed to get all of that out in one breath, but by the end I was panting heavily.

"Munk... There's something you ought to know..." Mistoffelees began sheepishly.

"Misto and I... Well..." Alonzo continued.

"We're mates now," finished Mistoffelees before pulling Alonzo in for a kiss.

My mind went blank as I processed what I was witnessing. "Wait what? When? How? Huh?"

"Munk, we love you, but you're not exactly good at stalking people."

"Yeah, Lon and I clocked you following us early on and I ended up spilling to him."

"Then what was all that I saw?"

"Well obviously we couldn't let you get away with trying to baby sit us, so we had a little fun," Mistoffelees said with a smirk.

"It was all Misto's idea really," said Alonzo, pulling the tux in close to him. "We figured it would drive you absolutely mad if you thought we were both to scared to make a move."

"And we were right! You should've seen yourself trying to get Lon to show off his muscles and hoping my magic would inspire him to say something." By this point the two were doubled over laughing.

"So all that was just an act to mess with me?" The two nodded, both still laughing. "Fine then," I said with a grin. "I guess you two will be working the late shift for the next two weeks while I take some time off to get some beauty rest and catch up on my crocheting."

"Oh gee, how will we ever pass the time?" quipped Alonzo, before giving his new mate a long and passionate kiss.