Disclaimer: I do not own Girl Meet World, Boy Meets World, or anything like that. I just had an idea this morning while I was trying to sleep and I had to write it.

Summery: Friends in High School drift apart and maybe it's that time for Riley to branch out. (Set after Lucas *apparently* tells her she is too much for him)

Rated: K+ maybe a curse word or two

Author's Note: This is not meant to be a Maya, Lucas, Farkle, Smackle, Zay bash. I like all the characters but this is just in my head.

XOXOX

(September)

They say in high school, friends drift apart. That it's very rare for friends from middle school to stay friends all through out high school.

For Riley Mathews, her drift was almost gradual.

It was a week after school started when Lucas told her she was too much for him and stormed away, only for him to go running to Maya that night to talk to her.

She was humiliated of course, but she didn't make a scene, she didn't cry in front of her friends, she just stood there; frozen and unable to move while the people she is suppose to be closest to walked away from her.

That night when she got home all the pain from the past year and a half caught up to her. All the times her parents ran to help Maya when she was in need, but bypassing their own daughter's pain. All the rejection she faced in school with her classmates and the cheer coach but expected to still have a cheery smile when things didn't go the way she hoped. Her Godfather loving her best friend but not her...Lucas telling Charlie they were an unofficial thing and yet as soon as he knew Maya might like him, he tried to make things work with her. Her own feelings being patronized time and time again.

The pain she was feeling was unbearable, she wanted to scream, she wanted to cry, she wanted to claw at her skin until all she could see was red! She wanted to do all those things but she was just too tired. She was tired of being the dopey sunshine girl her "friends" thought she was. She wanted to expand her horizon and find out who she really is. She wanted people to hear her and actually listen to her point of views and take them seriously. She wanted to be looked at like an equal to her friends and not someone to overlook.

As she climbed into bed that night she dreamed of new possibilities.

XOXOX

In middle school when she had an identity crisis, she dramatically changed her appearance and wanted to make people see how much they effected her with their hurtful words.

This time however, she did nothing like that; she didn't care if her friends or classmates noticed her change, she was doing this for herself. Yes, she went shopping and bought some darker cloths to add to her normal wardrobe, and yes, she started wearing a little eyeliner but nothing for anyone to notice unless they looked too closely. And of course, no one did.

In her father's classes, she was still there in the front row, taking notes but she didn't really pay attention when he got into his life lessons with her friends. Her dad was trying to subtly tell Maya that Shawn wants to propose to her mom and Maya was just not getting it. She'll figure it out eventually.

He hands back her last History quiz without a word and she stares at her D without emotion, trying not to remember when Maya did bad on her quizzes and tests, he would give her privet extra credit.

Maya looks at her confused when she sees her grade and Riley just shrugs and crumbles the paper into a ball in her hands, right in front of her father. She closes her eyes and tries to stop herself from screaming at her him; she just wants him to see her for crying out loud! Her pain gets so tempting she has to hold her wrist to keep from digging her nails into her skin until they draw blood.

He gives her a look but doesn't say anything. He never does.

The first couple days after her fight with Lucas, she still goes to lunch and sits with her friends watching them as Maya and Lucas flirt, Farkle and Smackle talk about their AP classes, and Zay looks between her and Lucas and Maya to see if she would say anything to cause a scene.

After a week, she decides enough is enough and goes to the library for lunch. It's a nice little school library where most of the people go during their study hall to finish writing papers that were due that day or go on their phone to do whatever... Riley however, immediately goes to the Fiction section of the shelves and looks around for something to read to pass the time.

She picks up "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" when she hears movement behind her.

"Oh I love that book! Have you read it?" She turns around and sees a dark haired Latina girl with glasses looking at her...or well looking at the book.

Riley holds up the book and shakes her head.

"Not yet. You said it's good?" She asks her politely.

"Oh yeah...it's one of my favorites. I just saw the movie too a couple weeks ago and it didn't completely suck." The girl laughs quietly almost as if she was surprised to be talking that much.

Riley smiles at her.

"I think I'm going to read it. Thanks for the recommendation. I'm Riley by the way." She says and holds out her hand.

The girl smiles back and takes her hand with a small shake.

"I'm Zoe, nice to meet you." She says as she plops her bag down in the corner and sits down.

"So do you like reading or just looking to escape reality for awhile?" Zoe jokes as she pulls out her own book from her bag that reads "Asylum" by Madeleine Roux

Riley looks at her for a moment before giving a shy smile.

"Definitely looking to escape for a long while. Can I sit?" She asks and Zoe nods and makes some room.

"Just so you know, once you get lost into the books, you never get out. Reading can get addicting." Zoe laughs and Riley smiles.

"That is something I can live with." Riley says and she finds herself actually looking forward to it.

And that was a start of a beautiful friendship.

XOXOX

It took the gang almost a week to realize Riley stopped coming to lunch. Farkle looked around frantically to try and see if she was sitting with other people but no, Riley wasn't in the cafeteria.

"Guys...where's Riley?!" He asked and everyone just looks at each other confused for a minute.

"I don't know...has she even been here at lunch all week?" Zay asks and everyone just shakes their head almost ashamed at not noticing their friend was missing.

"Maybe she's with her dad?" Smackle suggests and Maya shakes her head.

"No, he has a class now."

"Do you think she is mad at us?"

"I don't know Lucas, would YOU be mad if your friends didn't notice you were gone all week?!"

"Alright Farkle, calm down this isn't Lucas' fault!"

"You're right Maya, it's both of your faults right now!" Farkle exclaims before standing up and throwing his lunch away.

As much as he loves all his friends, he can't help but resent them for making one of his best friends so upset. He knew Riley was getting depressed but he didn't want to stick his nose into it like he did with her feelings for Lucas. He didn't want to cause his friend anymore pain, and yet he didn't notice she was missing either.

As he storms out of the cafeteria just as the bell rings he stops when he sees Riley with a couple girls and guys laughing about something.

Has Riley moved on from their friendship?

(October)

After everyone finally notices Riley isn't around as much as she used to be, they start looking at her and notice some changes. How her cloths were a little edgier and darker than they used to be. How she started carrying around a leather bound journal with her and would scribble away something at random, like she was constantly thinking of other things and never in what was going on around her.

They all see that during History she will say almost nothing when her father is talking, even when he is trying to engage her in the discussion. He doesn't say anything to her just hands her back her grades which are usually As and moves on.

And yet in English which she only shares with Zay and Lucas she is always involved in the group discussion of whatever book they are reading. They see that she passionately gives her views and even when someone doesn't agree with her, she would talk her point out until they could see where she was coming from; if they didn't agree with her, she accepted their opinion as their own and moved on. Their teacher Mrs. McLean would always compliment her insightful views and usually asks her opinion in every topic.

Science is a class she shares with Farkle and Smackle since it's her only AP class. She really took her STEM speech in middle school seriously and put a lot of effort into all her classes, but science especially. Since Farkle and Smackle are lab partners, Riley has some guy named Mike as hers and from what they can tell, they work well together and get along. Farkle noticed him as one of the guys she hangs out with in the library and wonders how well they got along.

She still talks to them of course, but now that they were paying attention they could see her heart was never into what they were discussing or doing. She almost never hung out with them after school and if she did it would only be for an hour and she would have to go do something.

They never saw her at lunch anymore and even though Farkle knew where she was, he didn't think it was his place to tell the others. If she was happy, he wasn't going to stop her.

One day after school Maya, Lucas, Farkle, Zay, and Smackle were sitting in Topanga's thinking about going to the movies when once again they noticed Riley was not there with them. When Maya texted Riley asking her what she was doing, she just texted back that she was home.

"Why don't we go and surprise her, she's probably bored at home alone." Maya suggested and they all agree. They climb up to her window, expecting her to be at the bay window but she wasn't there!

"If she's home, she's always at bay window!" Maya said in disbelief as they all pour into her bedroom.

"Maybe she's in the bathroom?" Smackle says and they wait a couple minutes to see if they could surprise her but she didn't come in.

"Come on, lets look to see what she's doing." Lucas says a little worried. He hasn't spoken to her in a long time and he really missed her. He knows he hurt her but she was still his friend. She was always one of his favorite people to talk to and he hasn't spoken to her in over a month. He never got to apologize for what he said to her.

They all walk quietly to the living room and stop when they see Riley laying in the living room bay window engrossed in a book! She was listening to some instrumental music with her phone on her stomach. This was definitely not their Riley!

"Hey Riles, whatcha doing?" Maya asks softly yet still making the young brunette jump. Riley looks around to see all her old friends in her living room so she closes her book and gives a little smile.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" She asks them softly as she gets up and moves towards the couch to sit down.

They all sit down around her and look at her confused.

"We are worried about you honey. You haven't been acting like yourself." Maya says softly and Riley looks at her blankly.

"I don't know what you're talking about, I'm fine." She replies and Maya looks even more worried.

"We know that isn't true. You disappear all the time, you're dressing differently. Is someone bothering you again?" The blonde asks and Riley's look hardens.

"That's your miraculous conclusion?! That because I'm not around 24/7, someone must be harassing me? Maybe this is who I am, and I'm sorry if you can't accept that, but that's not my problem." Riley asked them all in disbelief. She can't believe the nerve of them! They finally notice her after a month and think she needs to be saved?! Like poor little Riley has to be in trouble like the damsel in distress that she is.

"Riley, I know you better than you know yourself and I know something is seriously wrong right now!" Maya protests hurt at her best friend's actions.

Just then her phone rings making everyone look at her surprised when she smiles and answers it.

"OH MY GOD DID YOU FINISH THE BOOK YET?!" They all hear a female voice ask her and she laughs a little.

"No I didn't yet. Some people stopped by." Riley answers. They all looked at each other upset, Riley has never referred to them as "some people" they were supposed to be her best friends. What was going on?

"WELL HURRY UP GIRL, I'M FREAKING OUT OVER HERE!" They girl laughed and Riley laughed with her.

"Don't worry, give me like ten minutes then I'll call you okay?"

"Okay babe, bye!" Riley hung up the phone and saw everyone looking at her.

"What?" She asked.

"Who was that?" Farkle asked politely making Riley smile at him. No matter what happens when them, she knows out of all her old friends Farkle is the one who supports her the most.

"Oh that's my friend Zoe. We are in book club together." She answered and Zay smirks.

"Book Club? What are you eighty?" He jokes and Riley glares at him.

"Not just old people read for fun Zay, maybe you should try it some time!" She says as she stands up.

They could all see she was getting upset and they didn't know what to do. Riley has never been like this before. She was always the ray of sunshine making everyone else happy.

Riley looks at everyone blankly and takes a deep breath to calm herself.

"Okay guys I'm going to give you some real talk right now about why this is happening. Maya, I'm so tired playing second fiddle to you. Everyone in my life chooses you; my parents who notice every emotion on your face yet can't tell my fake smiles from my real ones, my godfather who never tried to bond with me until he met you and even now only talks to me about you, Lucas, Farkle, our classmates, everyone! Yet, despite that, it's sunshine Riley that's suppose to turn everyone's frowns upside down! It's so hard trying to make everyone happy, especially you, in this group of friends when you couldn't see MY pain! Farkle would have but after what happened on New Years, he backed off and while I appreciate that from him, I do, but in doing that I lost him too! Zay, you were so supportive of Lucas and Maya flirting all the time, not giving a shit that it hurt me, because why would it!? It's only little Riley with a crush, Maya's feelings are REAL; we need to support her because she hasn't had the best life. Meanwhile, my life and my feelings were constantly being pushed to the side by you guys and for a long time I let you but I'm done with that now." She takes another breath about to say more.

"Riley, I know things have been weird between us, but can me and you just talk alone for a second?" Lucas asks her softly hoping he could talk to her and calm her down. She was so important to all of them; they don't want to lose her but it seems like Riley is just pushing them away.

Unfortunately that just made Riley get angrier.

"You know what Lucas, no, we can't talk. When you were in the middle of Maya and I and you tried choosing friendship then changed your mind, I accepted that but I'm done caring who you like more. I'm not naive enough to think that you'd choose me when you can have her. You said I was too much for you and that's fine; I hope you and Maya are happy together; but stop dragging me back into your charm. This is me choosing myself and my happiness for once in my life. Now, I'm in the middle of something and I think it's time for you all to leave." She says calmly and walks towards her front door and opens it for them, closing the conversation.

They all slowly walk out and look at their friend that they don't even recognize anymore. Maya and Lucas look especially pained when Riley closes the door on them.

"We need to talk to Mr. Mathews." Maya says strongly before walking away.

When Riley goes back to her book she's so angry that even when she finishes it, she's not as excited as she knew she should be. Zoe calls her later but she was too upset to talk and asked if it would be okay for them to talk tomorrow at the library.

She goes to her room and lies down in her bed. She knows where they are coming from but she can't help but be so angry at them all for only noticing her now. She is supposed to be their friend and yet they haven't noticed her silently screaming for over a year now. It's only when she starts thinking of herself that they think she needs help.

We accept the love we think we deserve. Ever since she read Perks of Being a Wallflower, that quote has been swirling in her head. For so long she thought it was her place to make everyone happy, even at her own happiness' expense. Yet now, when she starts doing things that make HER happy, they just want her to go back to being the goofy little ball of sunshine. She feels like they want to put her in a cage when all she wants to do break free.

She knows they are going to talk to her parents which only makes it worse. Her dad hasn't noticed and he sees her more than anyone. Her mom hasn't noticed either, only when she asked where Maya has been. It pains her that her mom can call her "best friend" an Amazon Warrior when she was upset and yet when her own child's armor has shattered she doesn't bat an eye.

She picks up her phone and sends a message to her Uncle Josh and her Uncle Eric who she's been talking to more and more since she started high school. Unlike everyone else, both her Uncles have been more than supportive of her branching out of her comfort zone to figure out who she is. During this month she has gotten closer to them and appreciates them as her family. Uncle Eric has been especially helpful in making her feel better when it comes to her drifting apart from her old friends. He tells her that she is not her mom or dad, who were lucky to stay friends with each other and Shawn all their lives but not everyone gets that. It's okay for her to make new friends and as he says "spread her little bird wings and fly like no tomorrow"

After encouraging words from both of them, she calms herself down and gets ready for the day tomorrow.

TBC!