Alex took a seat at the table, tears flowing down her face. She ignored them, refusing to even swipe them away as she grabbed her fork and took a small bite of the meal she had spent hours preparing. She had made everything from scratch: pierogies, a baked ham, lima beans, and lemonade. Olivia's favourite foods, because she had assured her that she'd be home for supper tonight. Alex had looked forward to seeing her. But she had forgotten, and Alex was determined to at least pretend to enjoy the meal she had worked so hard on.

It had been weeks since they had really seen each other. Olivia had been working overtime and Alex had had quite a few demanding cases. But they agreed that tonight they would make an effort to see one another because it had just been way too long since they had spent any time together. Sure, they had seen each other in passing. How could you not when you lived in the same apartment? But as far as actually spending time together went, well… they had slowly become one of those couples who just drifted apart without even realising it had happened. Now, Alex was lucky to get an exchange of more than three sentences with her girlfriend.

When they first got together, Alex had been afraid that this would happen, that their jobs would get the better of their relationship. They had such high stress, demanding positions that it was almost inevitable that they would drift apart. But they were so in love, so sure it would work. Even with all the over time she was pulling in the first few years of their relationship, Olivia still came home nearly every evening for supper. Sometimes supper was at 10pm, but it was still a reasonable enough hour that Alex could wait up for her. Now, seven years in, it had gotten to the point that Alex just stopped making supper altogether. Olivia was rarely home, so there was no point. Alex ate alone, eating something simple like cereal or toast, if she bothered to eat at all.

But tonight. Tonight was supposed to be different. They were supposed to eat together, slowly, and catch up. God. Alex had been so excited when she brought it up earlier that week. A date night. They hadn't had one in so long, she genuinely couldn't remember when the last time had been. And she missed Olivia terribly. They rarely had breakfast together anymore and it had been almost a year now that Alex had been taking the subway to work instead of being driven in by her girlfriend.

God, she missed Olivia. She missed their relationship. They never went to bed at the same time anymore and when Olivia finally did get home, she would collapse in bed next to Alex. Their bed had become a "your side/my side" territory, with no crossing in between. It had never been like that before. But they did have stolen moments, on occasion, and tonight was supposed to be an entire evening of stolen moments.

Alex shook her head and brought her plate to the garbage. She couldn't eat; she felt sick to her stomach. So she threw everything out, plate included. She grabbed the pans and did the same, a fresh wave of tears tracing new lines down her cheeks as she looked down at her hard work, all for nothing. She felt overwhelming hurt, sadness, and worst of all: disappointment. Olivia had once been her rock, her comfort, her safe place. She had been the only steady thing in her life, the one person on whom she could depend. And now? Now she couldn't even depend on her to come home for supper like she promised she would.

Enough was enough. She couldn't do this anymore. She couldn't survive on the occasional kiss and fleeting text message. Alex needed more, and she had thought that Olivia understood earlier this week when she said that she missed her and wanted to share an evening with her. She thought her girlfriend understood that she needed to reconnect, that she needed her, but apparently not.

So she sat at the table and waited. And waited, and waited. She waited until the sun went down. She waited until she heard her neighbours come home from their weekly Friday night dinner. She waited until she heard the neighbours upstairs do their nightly river dancing routine, indicating that they were headed to bed. (She wasn't sure what the hell they did, but my God they made a lot of noise). She waited until she could feel her body tingle, urging her to go to sleep. She waited until the clock on the stove changed from PM to AM. She waited until she finally heard the click of a key turning in the door.

She finally looked up, watching as Olivia snuck into the apartment, no doubt expecting her to be asleep. She saw the surprise on her girlfriend's face as she made eye contact. Olivia walked closer, entering the kitchen with a small frown. Alex pushed down the emotions stirring inside. She had to have this discussion, there was no way around it. They had to have this talk. There was no more delaying it. They needed to talk because she couldn't do this anymore.

"Alex? What are you doing awake?"

"Do you remember what day it is?" she asked, ignoring the question.

Olivia, exhaustion radiating from every pore, looked around the kitchen, desperate for some kind of clue. She fought as her body screamed at her to sleep, knowing she had to be up in a mere four hours. But she could tell something was wrong. She felt the tension in the air. And she knew that tone. That tone meant nothing good was coming.

So she looked around. The kitchen looked as clean as it always did. They rarely cooked in here anymore. She scanned the counters, the fridge, noting nothing out of the ordinary until she noticed the lid of the garbage can propped up by something underneath. She blinked away her sleepiness and forced herself to focus. It looked like… plastic? Black plastic? A handle or-

Oh no.

It was a frying pan.

The dinner.

"Oh fuck, Alex, I'm so-"

"Save it, Olivia."

She wasn't angry, and that was what scared Olivia. She should be angry, but she wasn't. She just looked… sad.

"I can't do this anymore. I can't… I can't live like this anymore, Olivia."

"What?"

Olivia took a step closer, all thoughts of sleep suddenly gone.

"I can't do this anymore," she repeated.

That wasn't good. That was so definitely not good.

"What are you saying?" Olivia's heart was pounding in her chest. She was terrified. She couldn't be saying what she thought she was saying.

Alex was quiet for a long moment, clearly working something in her mind. Olivia knew that look. She was deep in thought, and that scared her. She watched Alex's brows furrow, her lips form a firm, thin line. She finally seemed to work out what she needed to say and spoke.

"I'm not happy. I haven't been happy…for a long time."

"Alex-"

"When was the last time we had supper together?"

"I…" Olivia couldn't answer, because she just didn't know. "I know it's been a while-"

"Our anniversary, Olivia. The last time you and I sat down for supper together was on our anniversary," she let out a wet laugh, the tears starting up again. "We haven't had a dinner together in seven months. And the last time we tried to have breakfast together you left halfway through because Elliot called you. Every time I suggest an evening in, you have to cancel because you stayed at work or, like tonight, you just "forget". This isn't the first time you do this to me, and I can't do this anymore.

We haven't seen each other in months. Not really anyway. You come in at all hours of the night and pass out next to me when you're finally here. You're asleep when I wake up for work. We haven't touched each other in … God. I don't even know how long. And I'm not even talking about sex, either. I'm talking about a damn hug. You haven't hugged me in months," at this, Alex's voice broke and the flood of tears restarted. She was so hurt, so hurt. "I tried to tell you that I missed you, that I missed us and Christ I thought you understood. I thought you got it because you told me you missed me too. And you promised, Olivia. You promised me that you'd be home. That we'd get together and have an evening. That you'd pretend like you had some kind of interest in my life. But you don't. You have other priorities, that are evidently above me because you couldn't even come home to have dinner with me. What's worse, you didn't even text me to let me down. You just didn't even show.

I feel like I don't know you anymore. You never would have done this to me before, but we've gotten to this place where you're just too comfortable with me I guess. But we aren't in a relationship. Not anymore. And we haven't been for such a long time. I feel like I'm living with a stranger. I have no idea what's going on in your life anymore because all you do is work. You don't know what's going on in my life either because we don't talk. You don't know me and frankly, I'm tired of it. I'm tired of being lonely. I'm tired of being sad. I'm tired of missing you and wishing you were home. I just can't do this anymore, Olivia. If I'm going to live my life like I'm single, I might as well actually be single and save myself the pain of knowing that I love someone who just doesn't have time for me anymore."

Alex got up and shrugged off Olivia's attempt to stop her. There was a time when Alex would have stopped, would have allowed Olivia to comfort and console her, would have allowed her to fix things between them. But that time had come and gone. Too much had happened between them. Too many lonely nights, too much disappointment. Too many forgotten dates.

Alex wasn't sure what she wanted anymore, but it sure as hell wasn't this.