Hello everyone, it's me again :D so this was inspired by the Pixar film 'Inside Out' as I thought 'hey what if the homunculi from FMA lived inside Ed's head and piloted his every move'... this cluster-fuck that's what haha. Everything in italics is outside of Ed's head, everything not is inside. This is definitely a comedy so these guys aren't evil, just very dysfunctional. Hope you all enjoy :D

"Roy is not a sexy name," Ed said as he and Winry walked out of one of the University's lecture halls after their class had finished. "It's like a name you'd see on someone the wrong side of seventy."

"It can be a sexy name," Winry said. "Any name can be sexy, you just have to moan it right."

"Nope, no way. There are some names that just aren't sexy; Roy is one of them," Ed said. "It's a name you'd give a dog or a granddad name, not a name you call out in the throws of passion."

"And Edward is?" Winry teased, giving him a playful shove.

"I never said it was," Ed replied as they began climbing the stairs that led to the centre of campus.

"Hey do you think that's why we didn't work out?" Winry asked, grinning at him. Ed rolled his eyes.

"Yes it's because I have an unsexy name, it had nothing to do with my raging homosexuality," he replied.

"I'm with Ed on this one," I said leaning back in my chair and looking over my shoulder at Lust. "Roy is not a sexy name."

"Like Winry said," she replied, shrugging and smirking at me. "Any name can be sexy."

"Whatever," I said turning back to the huge screen that looked out through Ed's eyes allowing us to see everything he did.

Hey, my name is Envy and, along with my six friends, I live inside Ed's head. Our job is to make sure Ed's life runs as smoothly as it possibly can by how we get him to react to outside influences. This is often quite difficult (but that's because my co-workers are mostly idiots) but I just about keep everything together and make it work. I was content to turn my attention back to the conversation at hand when I felt my chair suddenly pulled out from underneath me.

I fell to the floor with a very undignified yelp, landing on my backside. I rubbed the base of my spine as I felt the dull throb of pain starting and glared up to see Greed smirking down at me. God I hate that dick-head! Out of everyone I live with in here he is the one I hate the most (mostly because he doesn't seem to do anything aside from annoy the ever loving fuck out of me and strut around like he owns the place).

"So what are we talking about?" he asked leaning back in the chair and placing his feet on top of the Control Panel.

"Whether Roy is a sexy name or not," Lust told him. "And don't put your feet on the Control Panel, you'll break something." As she spoke she gave him a clip round the side of the head and he obediently put his feet down. I always did wonder how she got him to just do things like that but it was probably because she kept beating him.

"Really?" Greed asked sceptically. "That's boring."

"Then fuck off out of my chair," I told him, getting to my feet. Greed glared at me then cast a glance at Lust over my shoulder and thought better than to do whatever it was he had thought about doing. He stood up, muttering under his breath. "Yeah that's what I thought," I muttered glaring after him as I sat back down. Now I was going to relax and go back to listening to Ed and Winry''s conversation.

"Hey Envy?" a high pitched voice asked and I felt my entire body tense up.

"Yes Gluttony," I said through gritted teeth.

"Is it time for lunch yet?" he asked.

"No," I replied. Next to Greed Gluttony is one of the biggest thorns in my side. Much like Greed he doesn't do anything aside from annoy me to hell and back by constantly asking when the next meal is.

"But I'm so hungry," Gluttony whined. I took a deep breath, counting to ten in my head so that I didn't turn around and rip his head off. I wasn't going to lose my cool because Gluttony was being an irritating shit-heel. A sudden thought hit me that would get him to leave me alone for a couple of hours at the very least.

"Hey Gluttony why don't you go see if Sloth has anything shiny you can play with until lunchtime?" I told him. Gluttony's eyes lit up (I'm telling you – attention span of a goldfish) and he ran off to go and find Sloth. I sighed and collapsed forward onto the Control Panel, being careful not to hit any of the buttons.

"You know Sloth is going to be really pissed at you," Lust told me, a hint of amusement in her voice. I looked up to see her perch on the edge of the Control Panel, smiling at me.

"Eh?" I shrugged. "He could do with doing something every once in a while." I don't mind Sloth. Sloth is alright; he doesn't do a lot but, unlike Greed and Gluttony, he isn't a fucking pest about it. He keeps himself to himself and occasionally comes out after a period of massive amounts of stress when the rest of us are too whipped to do anything and has Ed watching re-runs of Pingu in his boxers for an entire day.

"So has Winry convinced him yet?" Lust asked.

"Convinced him what?" I returned.

"That Roy is a sexy name."

"It's not."

"Do you even have a concept of sexy?" she asked.

"Of course I do," I replied. She snorted, looking me up and down.

"I'll be more convinced when you get better fashion sense," she told me. I gave her a playful shove and she returned with one of her own. I like Lust, she's fun. I mean at first I was a bit weary as she was the only chick in a head full of dudes but when Ed turned thirteen and she suddenly appeared I knew I was going to have to get used to her. She keeps me sane though; it's nice to have someone else competent on the team even if it did mean that Ed's choice of sexual partners led to him being bullied most of the way through his mid-teens.

"Will you two keep it down please?" Wrath asked from his armchair, looking over the top of his newspaper, interrupting our shove war. "I'm trying to read the paper." Lust grinned at me before smiling sweetly at Wrath.

"Sorry Wrath," she said. "We will try to keep the noise to a minimum."

"Thank you," he replied and turned back to his newspaper. I held in my chuckle as best I could. Wrath had mellowed so much in recent years he had basically become a middle-aged man (and he even looked the part too). In all fairness he had every reason to; he had basically spent six years working overtime.

When Ed was ten his mother died and his dad, who had proved to only be a useless fuck up until that point suddenly decided that he wanted to be part of Ed's life again. Ed wasn't having any of it but because he was too young to look after himself and his brother Al he had become this tiny ball of rage and anger. Then when Ed turned eighteen, and didn't legally have to stay with Hoenhiem any longer, he moved out and Wrath went on an indefinite holiday, the only thing bothering Ed these days are cracks about his diminutive height.

"Okay so how many sexy 'Roy's do you actually know?" I asked Lust turning back to the screen.

"Plenty," she replied.

"Okay name me one," I told her.

"Name you one what?" a final voice asked. I looked over my shoulder to see Pride standing behind me. Oh yay... this little douche-nozzle.

"Sexy 'Roy's," Lust told him.

"Oh... why?" he asked.

"Because Palm Tree over here agrees with Ed that it's not a name one calls out during the throws of passion," she replied.

"Ed never calls out names during the throws of passion," Pride huffed.

"You keep telling yourself that Squirt," I said, turning back to the screen. If Pride was here then I really was going to ignore everyone and return to Ed and Winry's conversation. While Pride actually does things in relation to the running of Ed's life, unlike some of the others, he's often more of a hindrance than a help (and by 'often' I mean all the fucking time). Plus he's a self entitled little shit and never listens to a word I say despite the fact that I'm supposed to be the one leading this operation.

"There are plenty of smoking hot people with not what you would consider conventionally sexy names," Winry stated.

"Like who?" Ed asked.

"Jason Donovan," Winry replied.

"Jason Donovan was sexy in the eighties," Ed said.

"Yeah but Jason still isn't a conventionally sexy name," Winry pointed out. Ed thought about that for a moment.

"True but I still don't quite see your point," he said.

"You're not thinking about all the ways in which you can make someone's name sound incredibly hot," Winry said.

"Whatever," he said shaking his head. "Point me in the direction of a sexy Roy and then I will believe you."

"What about him?" Winry asked pointing across the courtyard at two men standing near the entrance to the Politics Department. One of them had long, dark hair tied back into a sleek ponytail and a very smug look in his eye, as if he thought he was above everyone and everything around him. Ed certainly hoped Winry wasn't talking about him...

"Which one am I supposed to be looking at?" Ed asked. Please don't be tall, dark and creepy. Please don't be tall, dark and creepy.

"The one with the short hair," Winry replied. Thank god! Not tall, dark and creepy. Ed turned to the other man. He was tall, well built and had short black hair that fell in front of his eyes giving him a slightly dishevelled look.

"Oh my god, he's gorgeous!" Lust cried, slamming her hands down on the top of the Control Panel.

"Hey watch it!" I cried as she narrowly missed hitting a few buttons. Lust wasn't listening, she was too busy staring, open mouthed, at the six foot two beefcake Winry had pointed out. She turned to stare at me, a manic look in her eye.

"We have to go over and talk to him," she said.

"And say what?" I asked.

"You let me worry about that," she said waving me off. "I just want to see if I can get enough information to find out if he'd be interested in Ed."

"You can work out if he's gay from one conversation?" Pride asked sceptically.

"Believe me I can," she smirked pushing her breasts together. "You just have to learn how to use your assets."

"You realise Ed doesn't have tits, right?" Greed stated.

"Trust me," Lust said, ignoring him and turning back to the screen. "One conversation and I'll know if Ed's in with a chance."

"I don't know how much I like the look of this guy," I stated.

"You don't like the look of anyone Ed becomes romantically involved with," Lust scoffed.

"I do too!"

"No you don't," she laughed.

"I like Winry," I stated.

"Winry doesn't count," Pride pointed out. "Ed dated her for a week when they were twelve and he doesn't even like girls."

"Can it Squirt," I told him.

"What about Russell?" Lust asked.

"Russell was an arse," I replied.

"Russell was perfectly nice," she said. "He just moved across the country and they wouldn't have been able to make a long distance relationship work."

"Could have done if he really wanted to," I pouted and turned back to the screen. She wasn't wrong; there was no way that Ed and Russell would have been able to make a long distance relationship work at fifteen when they probably wouldn't have been able to see each other until one of them learnt how to drive. The whole conversation had been really hard on Ed though because Russell had been the first guy that Ed had really been attracted to. He had told everyone that he was fine (thanks for that Pride) but I had asked Lust to cool it for a while after that; not quite so hard so fast next time. Apparently she thought she had behaved for long enough. "This is going to suck..." I muttered.

"Who's he?" Ed asked.

"That is Roy Mustang," Winry said smirking at Ed's slightly slack-jawed expression. "He's a second year PHD student."

"How do you know second year PHD students?" Ed asked.

"I met him during Fresher's Week," Winry replied shrugging.

"When? I was with you all of Fresher's Week," Ed said. "I'm sure I would have remembered someone who looked like that."

"It was the night I went to the Art Exchange and you went to some physics thing in the SU Bar," she said shrugging. "He was there and we ended up chatting about the exhibit. No idea who his friend is though."

"His friend looks a bit creepy," Ed observed.

"Let's go say hi," Winry said grinning. She grabbed Ed's hand and pulled him in the direction of the two men. "Hey Roy!" she called, waving as they got closer to them. Roy turned and smiled when he saw who was calling him.

"Winry," he said. "It's nice to see you again."

"Okay," Ed muttered softly so that only Winry would hear him. "Now that's a sexy Roy."

"Told you," she smirked back. She smiled warmly at Roy as they reached him. "You too, how have you been?"

"Very well, thank you," Roy replied. "And yourself?"

"I'm great thanks," she told him. "This is my friend Ed." She gave a Ed a small shove in Roy's direction. Ed shot her a look of surprise before turning to look shyly up at Roy. Roy looked him up and down as if appraising him, drinking every inch of him in, and a small smirk spread across his lips. Ed swallowed.

"It's nice to meet you Ed," he said, his voice like silk. "That would be short for Edward I imagine?"

"Y... yes," Ed replied a little breathlessly. The way his name sounded spoken in that rich, deep voice was stunning. Someone cleared their throat beside them and Roy seemed to snap back to reality.

"Sorry," he said turning to Winry and the other man. "This is Solf J. Kimblee, second year PHD like myself. This is Winry Rockbell, first year, and her friend... I'm sorry I didn't catch your surname."

"Elric," Ed said still a little more breathless than he would like. "My name is Ed Elric, I'm a first year."

"The genius?" Kimblee asked raising an eyebrow at Ed.

"I wouldn't say that," Ed replied, shuffling awkwardly. Why did this keep coming up when people found out who he was?

"Really?" Kimblee asked. "Because I heard you were taking third year modules as part of your first year course."

"Okay well that is true," Ed admitted. Roy raised an eyebrow and turned to Ed, smirking again.

"Well I had no idea I was in the presence of a genius," he said smoothly. "You must allow me to watch you work sometime. I imagine seeing that brain at work is surely a sight to behold." Ed felt his face begin to heat up.

"O... kay..." he said softly.

"Okay this guy clearly wants to stick his dick in Ed and I'd be quite happy to let that happen," Lust said.

"You're terrible," I told her.

"This guy has a way with words and look at this!" She pressed a button on the Control Panel and brought up Ed's stats in the bottom corner of the screen. "Elevated heart rate, shortness of breath, blood rushing to his face; Ed's already reacting to this guy I just need to give him that extra little push."

She leaned over the Control Panel and was about to start fiddling with the buttons that I knew would fill Ed with an attraction towards Roy. Before she could though, I stood up and placed my hands in front of hers. She sighed and looked at me with a raised eyebrow. She didn't even have to say anything, she just had that look in her eye that said she was going to do what she wanted no matter what I said but I felt I should at least try and talk some sense into her first.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" I asked.

"Why wouldn't it be?" she countered.

"Because..." I began but I couldn't think of a better reason than I just didn't like the look of him. Lust smirked triumphantly at me.

"He's tall, he's hot, he's smart, he's got a silver tongue that is more than likely useful for way more than just words and he's attracted to Ed."

"Yeah but..."

"Have you seen how hot this guys is?" she asked as if that was the deciding factor.

"Can't we just think logically about this for a second?" I asked. Lust smirked at me,clearly meaning 'no we can't', and began typing in a sequence on the Control Panel. She finished typing and held her hand over the button that would enter the sequence making Ed properly attracted to Roy. She smirked at me again and I raised an eyebrow at her. "Hoe don't to it."

"Too late," she sang hitting the button.

"I hate you," I stated. She just laughed.

"So Ed would you like to maybe get a cup of coffee with me sometime?" Roy asked. Ed blanched, shocked that someone as stunning as Roy seemed to be interested in him. "Because I'd very much like to get to know you and even discuss the fundamentals of science if you're up to the challenge."

"Um..." Ed began. He could barely think; his head was spinning and Roy's voice was all he could focus on. He snapped back to reality as he felt Winry's elbow digging into the middle of his spine. He jumped, shooting a glare at her over his shoulder. She gave him a pointed look that said 'answer him you idiot'. Ed turned back to Roy and tried to smile despite his nerves. "Yeah that would be nice."

"Wonderful," Roy said smiling. "I would certainly be very interested in seeing that brain of yours in action, along with the rest of you as well."

Did he just...

Ed's face caught fire. No he couldn't have meant anything like that; Winry and Kimblee were still standing right there! Kimblee rolled his eyes. So clearly he was used to Roy's antics, he was sick of Roy's antics and Roy had meant exactly that.

"Well I..." Ed spluttered. He was blushing right up to his ears and he could feel his knees shaking a little.

"Hey Mustang..." Kimblee said almost reminding Roy that he was still there. "Class." Roy simply smirked, amused with the reaction he was eliciting. He pulled a pen out of his coat pocket before taking Ed's hand. Ed could feel his skin tingling wherever Roy touched as he pushed the sleeve of Ed's jacket up and wrote his phone number down onto his forearm.

"Give me a call sometime and we can sort out a date for that coffee," he said.

"Okay," Ed said softly, unable to do anything other than stare, wide eyed, up into Roy's impeccably handsome face.

"Come on Mustang," Kimblee said in a bored voice. "We're going to be late for a lecture if you don't wrap it up."

"Fine," Roy sighed theatrically, as if leaving was such a chore. He released Ed's arm and gave a loose lock of his hair a gentle tug. "See you around Ed. Bye Winry," he added, the timbre of his voice changing, becoming lighter and less sultry as he smiled at her.

"Bye Roy," she smiled at him, waving as he and Kimblee turned and went through the doors into the Politics Department.

"Oh wow!" Ed whispered letting out the breath he didn't realise he had been holding. God, he hadn't been this affected by someone upon first meeting them since he was fourteen and had bumped into his gorgeous next door neighbour; a guy named Jean Havoc who was twice his age, smoked like a chimney and spoke to Ed like he was an adult rather than just another awkward teenager.

"Changed your mind then?" Winry asked smirking and giving him a playful bump on the shoulder. Ed jumped back to himself.

"About what?" he asked trying to hurriedly compose himself.

"About Roy being a sexy name," she chuckled.

"Okay," Ed said. "I will admit that one was rather sexy."

"Rather sexy?" Winry asked incredulously. "You should see the colour of your face right now." Ed pressed the back of his hand to one of his burning cheeks.

"I'd rather not thank you," he mumbled. "Can we talk about something else?"

"How about all the implications behind asking someone out for coffee?" Winry suggested grinning wickedly as they began to make their way away from the Politics department and towards the outskirts of campus.

"I hate you," Ed stated. Winry cackled.

"Oh my god!" I said, slamming my face into the Control Panel as Lust laughed behind me. "That could not have been any more embarrassing!"

"Look on the bright side," she said whipping her eyes. "At least we know there is a chance that Ed's going to get some."

"You have no idea just how much I hate you right now," I stated glaring at the screen. I wasn't even going to give her the satisfaction of turning around and letting her see just how annoyed I was although I was pretty sure that she already knew. She gave me a playful slap on the shoulder with the back of her hand.

"Oh stop being such a spoil sport," she told me. "Everything is going to be fine, just you wait and see."

"If you fucking say so," I replied. Her only response was a chuckle. I hate my co-workers sometimes...