Disclaimer: Official Fanfiction University belongs to Miss Cam. Various SCPs mentioned belong to their respective authors on SCP wiki. Containment Breach Game is created by Regalis, and credit goes to (The Great and Loveable) SunnyClockwork for creating the GOI Balls comic.

I don't own any of the above.

-Oneiroi is an awesome part of Foundation-verse. Those that say otherwise can violate themselves with 297 on its highest setting.

-CHILDISH.

-Where do all these GOI balls come from? I believe that not many people will have their subconscious avatars as balls in a satirical parody comic, except for one particular individual.

-That's not corporeal or free consciousness, oaf. It's non-con, dream elements!

School was hell. Life was shitty. And Virginia wondered if it was because she spent her math lessons daydreaming about various ships than actually listening as she faced her C-ridden grade reports.

But she wondered only briefly, because she managed to drown out the sorrow with five hours of internet and Deviantart. After all, she had fanfiction to write, even in her darkest times.

Of course, "darkest time" referred to the past period when her Creepypasta OCs were flamed by haters who kept throwing stupid insults like "Mary Sue" and "Emo" into the review section. Those people just didn't have a heart, right? They called a girl whose family was brutally murdered when she was only three years old, raised by a bunch of Creepypasta monsters "whiny." It was just cruel, so she had to defend herself.

Burying her face in her knees, Virginia sighed, before reaching out to grab the laptop that was dangerously tilting on the edge of her bed. Its screen was already cracked at the corner when she threw the bag with her brick-thick English textbooks inside on top of it; she did not want to further abuse the poor computer.

All those people, pretending to be so clever and tearing stories she was so proud of apart…...that's why she found the SCP Fandom to be a better place. At least the fans were fewer, and it had the exact same atmosphere, being a horror game!

The moment she stumbled upon Markiplier's video on the game, she fell in love with it, despite being scared shitless by the Sculpture and Old Man. The best SCP was of course, 049, and gosh, his voice was so sexy that she could get high on his gentle British accent…

Grinning, she picked up her new laptop, and started typing.

Y/N is the only female scientist in Site-[REDACTED], who can also be a MTF agent due to her fighting skill. What will happen when the mysterious Plegue Doctor (SPC-049, if you dunno) encounters such a beautiful young woman with a tragic past?

Of course, that was just the summary for her 049 X Reader story. There would be so much more to write about this story! Like her first day at the site, and the heart-wrenching discovery about her being depressed, and how 049 fell love at first sight when she was assigned to interview him…..

Y/N pout unhappily as you walked into the big white building. You are only in this science place because your step-mother convinced Director [EXPUNGED] to give you a job…...and you HATES them. They never understand you, no one will, well….except for her pet dogs…...

Sniffing, Virginia swept the candy wrappers on her bedsheet off onto the floor, and continued. One good thing about living in a dorm was that she no longer had to listen to her mother's ranting about keeping her room neat. That was to say, if her bitchy roommate last year didn't complain to the student dean and force her to clean up everything.

She brushed her fringe to the side. Every good love story needed a villain, and who could be better suited for this role than her heartless control freak of an ex-roommate and that stupid dean?

That's right, she would add a preppy, whiny researcher who wanted to break apart the TRUE LOVE between her character and 049 because of some silly rules, and the bad MTF leader-slash-Chaos-something spy who supported her!

What's even worse is that your mortal enemy, (e/n), who has been a cheerleader btich that bullied you since high school and laugh at you for being emo without knowing that you are depressed, is also working in the same site. This place still fascinate you, and you want to be friend with all the SCPs, but…...

Virginia started a typing spree as she assaulted the keyboard with a series of clicks. Her reader insert character was an unhappy, depressed person who got panic attacks, just like her; well, maybe without the panic attack part. How she wished she could have really bad anxiety problems, so people would actually care about her for once instead of treating her like another antisocial freak.

But no worries, because 049 would fall in love with her character at first sight, and protect her with the most tender love ever known to man, because they were soul mates, and she was the only person immune to his deadly touches!

Giggling, she wrote even faster, a mad fervency burning inside her eyes. Before long, the first chapter was done, and she opened her Wattpad account, ready to post her best work as of now-

The moment her finger pressed down on the mouse, everything on her screen disappeared into a pitch black. Virginia frowned; did her computer decide to leave this miserable mortal coil for Electronic Heaven…...and break down at the shittiest moment possible?

She almost fell off her bed in shock when a purple triangular symbol appeared in the center of the screen. Right in the middle of that symbol was a tree, or an eye; a dark orb, in the middle of this white tree, was casting an eerie gaze at her.

Without any warning, it came straight out of the screen, and lunged towards her face. Her scream was choked in her throat as the surrounding room fell into a fragmented, churning mess of colors and shapes. An excruciating sensation, as if her brain was whacked by a chainsaw, or thrown into a blender before being set on fire, seized her mind-

Then everything faded to an empty blank.

How would a piece of tissue paper feel if it was used to wipe someone's snot, torn apart, and glued back together by some mysterious forces?

That was the exact state of mind Virginia was in, from the moment she regained consciousness.

She could not feel anything, all her senses blacked out. Only a godawful headache and some voices, whispering incoherent words that made zero sense remained. What in the world just happened, she had no idea, but holy mother of god, if she was she dying or dead now-

Greetings, young lady.

As the familiar, sexy British accent rang through the darkness, the pain suddenly went away, and Virginia yelped as a bright light entered her eyes. Squeezing her eyes tightly in discomfort, she blinked before she started looking at her surroundings, propping herself up with one arm while she looked around.

She was in a white concrete room, clean and simplistic, just like those in the CB game. She gasped when she spotted the three-arrow Foundation logo on the door, near the observation window. This could not be real. The game was fictional, no matter how she wished for it to be real, and being teleported into a fictional world only happened to bad fanfiction OCs, right?

But it did not feel like a dream. She could feel the cold floor, smell the scent of disinfectant in the air. Shakily standing up, she glanced across the room, and her jaw dropped as she saw the figure in the black robe, sitting in the corner.

It turned towards her, eyes concealed in the shadow of its porcelain-white plague doctor mask.

"H-Hello?" She stuttered. This felt way too surreal, seeing her most favorite character of all time, just in front of her. But damn, if this was a dream, she better not wake up anytime soon. On second thought, if it was a dream and she was deemed to have the "disease", she wouldn't really die even after being touched…...right?

Her hands trembled as she thought of those zombies in the game, all those bloodied, gutted guards that shambled towards D-9341 in the Let's Play videos.

The humanoid figure did not reply; it simply walked closer, without a word. Instinctively, Virginia moved back, step by step, until her head bumped into the metal door, and she realized that she could not retreat any further.

"Oh gosh, uh, I, I r-really, um…..." Desperately searching for words, Virginia shivered, her legs shaking uncontrollably as the anomaly continued to walk towards her; she could see its grey, lifeless eyes behind the beaked mask. Contradictory to her writing, it was not full of love or any heartwarming emotions.

"I-I'm n-not…..." Panicking, she stuttered even harder and squirmed, pressing herself tightly onto the metal surface behind, before she realized that they were now only a few feet apart. All escape routes were blocked in this small room; even if the door behind her could be opened, she would not have enough time to run before being grabbed.

Its gloved hand reached out, and her eyes widened, like a cornered prey about to face its demise. In the face of the incoming, and likely painful death, all squishy fangirl feelings towards a certain good doctor vanished without a trace.

"PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!"

She shrieked with all her strength, and closed her eyes as her right wrist was grabbed. That was it, her short, unsatisfying life would end in a few minutes-

Do not be afraid, love. I do not sense the Pestilence in you.

The soothing, calm voice snapped her out of the panic. Opening her eyes again, she stared at the figure in front of her, then at her right hand, before realizing that she was indeed, not dead. She was…...actually immune to his deadly touches?

The moment this realization shone through her mind like a brilliant firework, Virginia squealed like a five-year-old, and jumped into the air. She was just like her character…...only that she got to actually meet the sexy British Bird-doctor, and oh god, maybe she could have the first and only romance she needed in her life!

She closed her eyes in sheer ecstasy, and lunged towards the plague doctor in a crushing hug.

However, instead of the gentle embrace of the tall humanoid, what welcomed her was a slimy mass of tentacles and meat in its place.

She jolted and immediately drew back, her stomach churning as she felt some of the slime getting into her mouth.

The room around them turned into a barren landscape of ice and snow, and she gasped in sheer horror as fleshy tendrils curled around her arms. She tried to break free, but these things were insanely strong; behind the writhing tentacles, many eyes blinked at her on what could only be described as a cancerous blob of tumor.

It pulled her closer and closer. The membrane on its surface burst, exposing faces beneath that were still vaguely human, mouths opening and closing, each of their pained gasps spitting a rain of saliva and sticky blood onto her body.

She screamed with an intensity that would make 1048-A cry in shame.

"You know, you can really stop screaming right now."

The star-shaped thing with two blank eyes rolled past her for the third time, and, covered in stinking mucus, she ignored it and continued shrieking her lungs out in despair.

"I mean, 610 is disturbing, but even the guy who kissed a cut-up Ronald Reagan didn't scream half as loud as you! Ah, fanbrat lust and despair is tasty, but it gets bland after awhile." It chirped, and floated up in the air.

"Y-You don't know…...tentacles, oh god tentacles, I-I'm not even into hentai, sweet Jesus….." Virginia shivered, hugging her knees even tighter as the nauseating sensation of multiple tendrils caressing her torso flashed back.

"Of course I know. I made you go through all of that." In an ever cheerful and annoying tone, the star-shaped thing whizzed right past her face, dispersing a mist of shiny dust in the air.

"The fuck?" She frowned, and stood up to face the weird being.

"You fangirls won't know the meaning of disgust until you have a taste of your own medicine." It sneered, and if it had a mouth, Virginia was sure that it would be smirking.

"What? Y-You little shit! "

A scorchingly hot sensation rose within her core, burning away whatever little bit of sanity she had after all the suffering she went through. With a yell, she punched at the star-shaped thing with all her strength, only to have her fist phasing right through its form. Losing her balance, she fell onto the ground with a surprised yelp, slamming her face against the hard surface underneath.

She groaned, feeling blood rushing out of her nose. Turning her face to the side, she glanced up, and found the star-shaped thing looking down at her, its eyes rolling in disdain.

"C'mon, really?"

"Fuck you," she gritted her teeth, and only managed to squeeze out a few word from her throat. "Why do you do this?"

"Kinda because you are an awful fanfiction writer. Yeah, I know it sounds unfair, like having your favorite cake presented to you, only having it swapped with a steaming pile of excrement at the last moment." It hummed, before continuing its nonchalant speech.

"But have you ever considered how you have been treating the characters, and the universe they originated from? You are gods to them. Even your typos can make their life hell. Except for the character you spoiled as your fictional avatar."

"It's fanfiction, so I can write whatever I want!" She retorted in indignation. This thing was being such an asshole just because she wrote something for fun? It was the only comfort she had when she was depressed!

"If you think so, you aren't a good writer. But it's not my job to teach you how to face criticism, since at least ¾ of the time, I'm offline." it paused. "Now, let me start the actual explanation."

"First, where are you? In a dream. Yes, it is all just a dream!" It laughed, and Virginia's eyes lit up upon hearing it.

"Oh. Can I wake up yet?" She asked, desperately hoping that it was just a really, really bizarre nightmare. She would climb up from her bed tomorrow, Saturday morning, and continue her story as per normal.

"Nope. I will decide when."

Her heart sank upon hearing the reply. So she was going to be trapped in an eternal sleep with this annoying star-shaped thing…...who could seemly shape dreams at will?

"But there is one way you can get out. It is just that you won't be able to write SCP fanfictions anymore, after you wake up. When you log into your writing profile, you'd end up deleting the account." As if reading her thoughts, the being added, "no matter how many new accounts you create."

Damn. She really couldn't cheat her way out of this.

"In fact, if you type a Foundation-related story with the intention to post it online, it will become incoherent word salad the moment you start, and you will forget what you are doing halfway through the writing."

With a pop, it summoned a green, star-shaped stone, and sent it flying into her palm.

"Just hold this stone and say a few words with me; you will complete the Geas, and immediately wake up." The star-shaped thing cajoled, "but you won't want to give up writing stories forever, as a true Foundation fan, right?"

"Of course not!" She fumed, throwing the stone back at it. The object visibly slowed in its flight, before grinding to a halt, and just floated there in mid-air.

"Then you are choosing the alternative." It replied.

"What is it, then?" She inquired. Even if it would not be pleasant, she still wished to continue all her work, no matter what, and if this star-thing thought it could scare her into submission, then fuck it!

"Join the Official Fanfiction Summer Camp Programme. The OFSCP. In three months, you will learn all about the SCP Universe, inside a dream-scape that is close to a real Foundation site. Upon completion, you won't be a shitty writer anymore."

"Three months? Wait, you mean I'm going to be asleep for three months? That's ridiculous! They would think I fell into a coma or something!" She protested. Going through whatever hell that awaited her in a weird dream, only to wake up in some hospital bed was not a pleasant image.

"Nope, time passes faster, or slower in dreams. Three months inside our collective would at most equal to seven hours in physical world. You would just wake up next morning when the course finishes."

"Alright, I accept." She huffed, and confidently declared, "it is just a game. I won't need to learn much, anyway."

The star-thing sighed, a sense of defeat in its voice. "You really know nothing, do you, Virginia Johnson? Come and fill this form."

A pen and a piece of paper just appeared in front of her, out of nowhere, and she started reading.

"What kind of dumb questions are these?" Virginia cursed, furiously scratching down a row of I don't fucking knows onto multiple questions in the Universe Knowledge section. Once she passed the first four questions, it descended into a confusing mess that she had never seen in any Let's Plays of the Containment Breach game.

"This is what the real Foundation is like, the writing site that the CB game is based on." The star-thing, humming a weird but rather beautiful tune, stopped and answered her. "Having troubles with all the GOI questions?"

"What's that? Like, I only know Chaos Insurgency, the bad guys that appeared in the Gate A ending!" She yelled back, exasperated at the difficulty of the questions.

"Well, you aren't the only one. In fact, I'm really disappointed that all of my GOI questions seem to have the least number of correct answers compared to others!" The star-thing frowned….or made the facial expression closest to a frown, with only two eyes.

"Oh, so you came up with these. No wonder." Virginia commented, rolling her eyes at the thing before turning back to the form. "By the way, what the hell are you?"

"You mean my current form, or my true nature?" It asked, tilting its body slightly with a teasing tone.

"Whatever." She grumbled.

"I'm an Oneiroi, more specifically, a Corporeal one. Taking the form of a GOI Ball." It answered, before making a 360-degree turn in the air.

"I have no idea what that is." Grunting, she wrote down a huge RUN LIKE HELL on one of the questions about some SCP she never read before.

If an SCP did not appear in the game, why would anyone bother to read it anyway? It was probably not good enough. Virginia mentally nodded at her logic.

"Can't blame you. Oneiroi is a really obscure group, and Sunny hasn't updated her comics for quite some time." Noticing her confusion, the…...GOI Ball added, "you will know what I mean when I teach Groups of Interest 101."

So this sadistic star-thing would be her teacher. Great. She could not wait for the marvelous future ahead.

[By signing this form, you have waived away all personal rights and freedom willingly to OFSCP personnel. You will be subjected to a three-month summer camp as a D-class personnel, and agree to accept all susceptible risks in the camp, including but not limited to: verbal, mental, and emotional abuse, physical harm, death, insanity, [DATA EXPUNGED], exposure to memetic material, cognitohazard effects and multiple Euclid and Keter class objects (all just a dream, of course), donating 2% of your Ghostian Doots (0.0007 Solar Years) to Oneiroi Collective every day, and 27 of WAFFLES & BACON to Oneiroi West. Your everyday clothing, diet and activities will be controlled by OFSCP personnel, and by signing this form, you indicate no objections over this. ]

Signed: Silvy Silverfish

Course-Coordinator

CAPTAIN PUGILISM, Tse Kin Chang, and SCPersonificator

Faculty Manager

Your Signature: Virginia Johnson

Virginia gave up trying to read the fine-print after five minutes of futile attempt. Sure, when something was written in almost invisibly small letters, it usually meant that this was a fishy contract, and she had to read it carefully…...but all she could make out was [DATA EXPUNGED].

It was always the [DATA EXPUNGED]. Ah, the signature phrase of Foundation.

"I'm done." Passing the form back to that GOI Ball, she heaved a sigh of relief. This form was painfully long, almost like one of those English quizzes at school that she barely managed to pass, and to finally get this over with was probably the best thing that happened to her this wretched day.

"Alright, see ya'. Just close your eyes, and have a good, long sleep."

Sending the piece of paper away with a blink, the star-shaped GOI Ball sped up into a burst of glittering green light, and vanished into the dark void that surrounded them. The moment it disappeared, all the light went out; Virginia found the solid ground beneath her suddenly gone.

With a yelp, she fell down, into the endless darkness, and her consciousness soon blacked out.

A/N:

This is a rebooted version of my original story, which has major aspects I'm unhappy with, especially the world-building part. In fact, it is almost cringe-inducing, looking at it now.

You can say that the rebooted version has many more obscure references in it; hard not to when the world setting changed from "SCPersonifications teaching under two self-righteous people who somehow pulled this thing off" to "Four Oneirois, entities that live in dreams, pulling fanfiction authors into a small, but uber-real dream world for their education."

My GOI Obsession has grown too much, I know.

As always, you can submit students for the story via Private Message by filling out the form provided in this chapter. I would be making up most of the students anyway, but if you want to add your fangirl/fanboy into OFSCP, it is also fine.

Application Form Rebooted:

Names:

Genders:

Ages:

Appearances:

Races:

[We do not accept any races other than baseline human, unless you can provide evidence (from articles and tales) that the race of your choice exists in Foundation-verse; still, it will be judged with great caution, and accepted on a case-by-case basis.]

Weapons:

Your favourite SCP objects or Foundation personnel:

Do you lust after any of them:

Your least favourite SCP objects or Foundation personnel:

If you could be a Foundation personnel, what job would you take? (Researcher, MTF officer, etc.)

Universe Knowledge:

-How many SCP articles have you read?

-Please write out the numbers of all the Keter-class SCPs you remember, as many as possible.

-What is the difference between Security Clearance Level and Personnel Classification?

-Explain the meanings of Safe, Euclid and Keter.

-What is memetic?

-Have you read anything from the Guide Hub on Foundation wiki?

-What do Type Green, Type Red and Type Grey refer to, and which Group of Interest in the Foundation universe uses them?

-What are the three branches of the Church of the Broken God? State their differences if possible.

-Where is the base of the Serpent's Hand located at? Bonus for methods of entry.

-Do you recognize any of the following names: L.S, Nobody, Doctor Wondertainment, Robert Bumaro, Grand Karcist Ion? Bonus for descriptions of each.

-What is Chaos Insurgency's true origin? Which orientation discussed it?

-Prime Minister Sinister threatens to harm you. What should you do?

-Can the "Telekill" Alloy protect you from memetic influences?

-How long will it take before SCP-1548 finally reaches Earth?

-Clef and Kondraki's duel in Site-17 was about which SCP? What happened to it in the end? Who did it?

-What is the difference between black chocolate and white chocolate? Explain using examples from the Foundation.

-What do Object Classes Explained, Joke, Neutralized, and Archived mean?

-Can Slenderman/Game characters/Anime characters be SCPs? Give reasons for your answer.

-What are the types of SCPs that are the most difficult to write? Why?

Writings and Fandoms

-Have you ever shipped SCPs or Foundation personnel before? What pairings?

-Do the pairings you ship actually have interactions, as stated in their respective articles?

-Do you do SCP humanizations in your fanfictions?

-Have you ever written SCP smut or lemons in any settings?

-Have you written about Foundation personnel in your fanfictions?

-Have you created crossovers involving the SCP Foundation? List the canons involved.

-What GOIs have you written about, other than the SCP Foundation?

-What type of stories do you create?

-Is the Containment Breach Game canon?

-List the inaccuracies commonly seen in fanarts and fanfictions about the SCP Foundation.

-Do you know about Mary Sues and their natures, and have you ever written one?

-Are you from a foreign branch of the SCP Foundation, like SCP-RU? Write down the branch you are from if applicable.