She woke to find the space next to her empty, usually occupied by a certain Jedi Knight who was now nowhere to be found. She sat up, sense alert, but saw none of his clothes or shoes strewn on the floor, or lying folded on the chair. She stretched, letting the blankets fall back onto the bed before she got up, he had probably been called away by some early meeting or obligation, especially since Qui-Gon was due to return in days and they would be leaving almost immediately on a mission again. She stepped into the shower, realizing she would be lying if she thought that she wouldn't miss him while he was gone, his presence having been a steady pulse at her side for weeks now, since he had been returned after his injury.

Even after her conversation with Yoda, which she knew was manifesting itself in the guilt-ridden dreams she had been having. But always, she had woken with him sleeping next to her, his face eased in sleep, and she had gone back to bed. He was the only person she knew who could look so serious, even in sleep. She snapped the water off, drying off with the one luxurious towel she bothered to purchase with some of her discretionary money one odd month a few years ago, and turned her thoughts to what the day might bring.

Hours later and it had gone as she expected. Thousands of files were pouring in each day, an almost overwhelming amount for her and the senior initiates that would be working the archives as a piece of their training, but she was able to guide them with a steady hand and get their work done in time for the evening meal. She knew it was almost time for her to begin training apprentices, though she was young, anything was apt to happen and they needed to be prepared. Their training was unique, accompanying Sentinel Masters on missions of diplomacy and fighting, accompanying her to the libraries and temples spread across the galaxy, or occasionally on odd missions to gather information herself. She was leaving to one of the far temples soon, after this flood from the largely unexplored outer systems was fully archived, and it might be nice to take an apprentice on their first mission. But this path was not for all Jedi, though she thought that Zak, who even now was shelving returned Holobooks, had decided this was the path he wanted to take. She would speak with him soon, she decided, perhaps even in the morning.

But for now, she was a little confused. She closed down the main area of the library, leaving the dim lighting on for any Jedi who may have need emergency information in the late hours of the evening and night. Dooku had taken up the habit of meeting with her at this time each evening, usually accompanying her to the dining hall so they could share dinner and discuss the day. But he was nowhere to be found, the hall outside the library empty. She shook her head, choosing to ignore his somewhat odd behavior, and instead went to enjoy a dinner with other Jedi and temple staff.

She sighed over her soup, thinking about the past few days. They needed to talk, that much she knew, but every time she was in his presence, the urge to discuss their problems left her. Not simply for the physical relationship they shared, but he had become a constant comfort in her life that up unto now, she had not realized. She left dinner early, her soup unfinished, and went to find him. They needed to discuss the guilt that was pressing on her force connection, and resolve this concern before it grew too large and overwhelmed them both.

She wasn't sure what led her to the Room of a Thousand Fountains, maybe it was the subtle pull of the force on her mind, that connection to him that was becoming more and more ingrained in her body. The room was almost empty, save for him in the very center, seated with his legs crossed on a patch of grass. His tunic billowed around his shoulders in the wind that rolled off the waterfalls surrounding them. She approached him slowly, feeling the strong hum of the force that dimmed as he blinked his eyes open to look at her.

He didn't smile, in fact he seemed troubled, almost concerned as she sat across from him. "Hello." She said, watching him carefully. She was grateful that the room was otherwise empty as she didn't know how deeply this conversation might go, especially since his face remained entirely impassive, not even his usual glint in his eyes that seemed only for her. "You are upset."

"No." He said, and she took a seat opposite him, mirroring his stance. She held his gaze for a moment until he broke it. To her surprise, as he looked down, he gave a half-hearted laugh, and shook his head. "I cannot lie to you, can I?"

"What is bothering you, Dooku?" She had the strong urge to reach out a hand and lay it over his, entwine their fingers like she had grown used to them doing for months now. But something kept her from it, premonition perhaps, or her worry about his feelings.

"It is not I who is bothered, Jocasta." He said. She watched him as his eyes came back to hers, full of some strange emotion. It took her a few moments, but she recognized, in the crinkle by the lilt of his mouth, the folding of his eyes, that the emotion he was showing was pain. He was hurting. "You talk in your sleep."

"Oh." She recalled her dreams the night before. That the two of them were sacrificing their own ethics and codes and the Jedi Order was crumbling as a result. Every time he smiled at her, there was pain. She knew it was guilt from not having worked through their emotions, their relationship. What it was and what it meant.

"Or perhaps it wasn't even your words," He said. "I could feel you through the force, Jocasta." He closed his eyes for a moment, letting out a long breath through his nose. "Please, can we discuss what is troubling you. I didn't realize you felt so strongly."

She was floored for a moment, staring at him. She had assumed, after the conversation had started, that he might throw her words back at her, or say that they needed to stop their relationship before things progressed any further. But neither of those things were true. He only wanted to talk, to save this connection between them. She wasn't sure whether or not to be relieved or terrified, which she supposed was the problem.

"I worry about the depths of our feelings, Dooku." She said softly. "I think they extend beyond that of ordinary friendship."

"They do." He said. "We are also lovers, Jocasta."

"I don't mean by simple definition, Dooku. And I'm not referring to only our physical relationship." She said quietly. He waited on her to speak again, having nothing to add. "I remember during our first night together…" She paused and breathed. "Do you love me?"

He didn't answer. At first, she thought he was just considering his answer for a moment. But as his silence continued, she realized he was merely answering the question, unable to say the words that she now knew were true. After what seemed like a couple of very long minutes, he stood, extending a hand to help her as well.

"Qui-Gon returns tomorrow, and then we will be gone on another diplomatic mission in the mid-rim." He said, very matter-of-factly, seeming to avoid the issue. She almost interrupted him, but he continued. "Perhaps we should discuss this more once we return." He said softly, looking up at her from the floor once again.

She wanted to resolve it now, but her chest felt heavy, almost like she couldn't speak. "I agree." They walked out of the Room, the sound of rushing water fading behind them. He walked with her to her apartment, but for the first night in what felt like a lifetime, he did not come inside but turned to go to his own. When he was gone, she pulled the door closed and leaned heavily on it, running her hands over her face, letting her hair down from where it had been pulled back against her head.

The day had not gone as she had expected. Or wanted. But still, it was what it was. She didn't feel like doing much else besides getting ready for bed, so she did. She laid still in the sheets they had been sharing, still able to faintly smell him on the pillow next to her. She closed her eyes and breathed, feeling a tear come to the edge of his eyes. She thought of his voice, quiet as they came together, but strong and deep as always, saying that he loved her. And now, when she thought of his strong face, and his clear intellect, and his kind smile that he couldn't help when he saw her, she realized, quite simply, that she loved him too.