Chapter 1

It had only been a few minutes since his arrival at the Ritz, but Bertie felt like he had been waiting there for hours. This evening was either going to make his life complete or make him feel he'd ruined his own happiness forever.

It had been six weeks since he'd left Downton Abbey and his Edith behind. A move he regretted almost immediately, and every moment since that day. But he had had Tangiers to manage and by the time he got back, he lived in fear that he had ruined any hope of a relationship he might have with Edith.

He was wallowing in despair and dreaming of ways to win Edith back when he'd received a phone call from Mary Talbot.

"Hello Lord Hexham, this is Mary Talbot calling".

Bertie was surprised to receive a phone call from Lady Mary – he immediately began to speculate as to the purpose of her call, all possibilities scaring the life out of him. His first thought was that something bad had happened to Edith, the very idea of which made his heart jump into his throat with fear. The next thought was that Mary was calling to gloat about something, since she had clearly intended to hurt Edith that day at breakfast. He wasn't sure she was quite that unkind though to further throw salt in the wound. What would she gloat about? That she had triumphed over her sister? Or, perhaps she and Edith had made amends and she was telephoning to tell him that Edith had moved on with someone new – and she was reminding him what a colossal fool he had been to leave her at all. There would be no need for that though, he needed no help realizing what a fool he was. He knew this wasn't going to be a plea of any kind because if Edith wanted a reunion she was courageous enough to do it herself. A million other possibilities passed in his mind, before he finally responded:

"Good afternoon, Lady Mary. Please feel free to continue to call me Bertie"

"Right, Bertie. I'll get straight to it. I've devised a plan that I think should suit you quite nicely. I'm not convinced that things are truly over between you and my sister. Nor is my aunt Rosamund. And since I feel at least partially responsible for your split, I've come up with a plan"

"I should start by saying that Edith does not know this plan nor that I am telephoning you." She took a breath "Right, with that being said – here is the plan: I will book a table for two at the Ritz. Aunt Rosamund will invite Edith to dine with her at the Ritz and will accompany Edith to the restaurant under the pretense that it will be them two on the reservation. IF you wish to rekindle your relationship with Edith, I suggest you come to this dinner. Perhaps you should be there at the table waiting for her. If, instead, you choose that this chapter if your life is truly closed, and you really are finished then simply don't show up. Aunt Rosamund will dine with Edith directly and Edith will be none the wiser. She will simply spend the evening with our aunt and will never know that we spoke or that I invited you to attend."

Bertie didn't have to think. He was acutely aware of how miserable he had been over the last six weeks. He immediately cut in to the conversation "I will come. I'll be there at the Ritz. What time is the reservation?"

Lady Mary seemed taken aback. "Uh – You need not decide right now. Hence the brilliance of the plan, you see. It gives you time to decide-"

"I'll be there. Tell me when."

Mary waited a moment. "Very well then. I'll let Aunt Rosamund know that you plan to attend. I should warn you Bertie – I don't think Edith would agree to this plan if she knew it. She seemed quite resigned to putting things behind her, moving forward and starting anew. She might be difficult to persuade…. Right! Good luck Bertie!" And she immediately hung up without waiting for a reply.

And so here he was, two days later, having arrived early for the 8pm reservation, waiting nervously for Lady Edith Crawley to arrive with her aunt.

While Bertie waited, he rehearsed in his mind how he would phrase his plea for her to accept him back. He had a whole plan about asking her to give him another chance, he'd practiced the line so many times, he hoped he'd perfected its persuasive power.

As every passing minute dragged on, Bertie feared she wasn't coming. Somehow Edith had caught wind of the plan and she was too angry with him to attend this dinner. But just as his mind began to fear the worst, she walked in with Rosamund towing behind her. Bertie was taken aback – she looked even more radiant than he had remembered. He was acutely reminded of what was at stake at this dinner and became even more nervous. She was approaching the table but was turned backward talking to her aunt and had not yet spotted him, until finally she saw him and stopped dead in her tracks.

"What on earth! How did you know I would be here?"

Bertie wasn't sure how to answer. He didn't want to give Rosamund or Mary away, but Edith must have caught him looking at Rosamund because she immediately turned to her aunt and said in a desperate, barely audible fashion: "Are you leaving?"

"I certainly am. Goodnight darling. I'll telephone in the morning"

Edith looked very nervous. This made Bertie feel even worse. All he wanted to do was jump up and engulf her in his arms and whisper apologies and sweet nothings in her ear. But they weren't quite there yet. As she sat down, he smiled at her and got ready to start in on his well-rehearsed speech, but she spoke first.

"Is this all a set up? Someone tipped you off that I was in London. Was it papa?"

Bertie didn't want to discuss the plan. It didn't matter how they both got here, they were here together now and he was so eager to get started on his mission. "It was Mary"

"Mary! How? What did she do?"

"She booked the table and got your aunt to play along. They thought you might not come if it were me."

"They were right, there." Edith said, rather curtly. This surprised Bertie, and he felt a new wave of shame over how terribly he'd behaved the last time they spoke.

"Will you stay now?" Bertie asked. He needed her to be willing to at least have a conversation or this was going to go terribly awry, very quickly. "Please."

She said nothing. But didn't make any move to get up. The waiter took advantage of the opportunity to stop in: "May I bring you a menu, my Lord, and perhaps a drink?"

Bertie kept his eyes firmly on Edith. If she was planning on leaving, she would be doing it now, he thought, but she hadn't. So he took the liberty of ordering her a drink. "Thank you yes, we'll have menus and two glasses of champagne."

Bertie continued to look directly at Edith. He wanted to start in on his speech but he wasn't sure where her heart was and didn't want to rush her. He'd rushed her once before, with disastrous results.

Edith took her napkin and spoke firmly and resolutely "Bertie, I don't know what I'm doing here. You broke my heart".

Bertie hated hearing that. But he knew he deserved it.

"I'm not blaming you, exactly, I know why you felt you had to-"

Bertie couldn't take it. He blurted out: "I want you back."

Well, so much for that rehearsed eloquent speech he'd spent so much time perfecting

Edith looked a little taken aback but, not yet happy "Nothing's changed…"

"I've changed!" Bertie pleaded.

"Well if you have, you haven't said a word to me about it! I don't believe you would have spoken now, if Mary hadn't telephoned!"

Bertie deserved that too, he knew. From the moment Mary telephoned him with the plan, he knew that Edith would see the fact that he wasn't the orchestrator of this reunion as a weakness in his resolve. He chastised himself for not acting up sooner. He ought to have fought for Edith as soon as he realized his mistake of leaving her. But he was a coward. And he had never hated himself more than he did in this particular moment.

All he could muster up to respond was "I would have, I promise!"

"What's different? I still have Marigold. You have your mother..."

"I've never told her we'd split up.." He had hoped that this little confession would be taken by Edith to show that he wasn't ready or willing to let go of Edith yet and their story wasn't over. But that was not how she responded.

"But we have!"

Bertie began to feel helpless. He wasn't doing well. He started to fear that he might fail at this dinner. That very real possibility made him feel overcome with despair. He had no idea what he could say to persuade her that he loved her dearly. He missed her all the time. And he'd never been so miserable as he had been during the last six weeks.

"... W-Would you believe me if I told you I couldn't live without you?"

Edith immediately seemed dubious. "You've done a pretty good job of living without me lately!"

"I've done a very bad job". And with that response, Bertie felt his voice catch as his desperation to persuade Edith of his love for her hit the breaking point.

Bertie used the waiter's interruption with their drinks and menus to pull himself together. If he was going to convince Edith that she should share her life with him, he was going to have to do a better job of being worthy of her. Bertie was grateful too, because it seemed that Edith was starting to soften, at last. Perhaps the potential of having seen a grown man sob in a restaurant did the trick, Bertie wasn't sure.

"I don't understand what you want of me. What are you asking?"

Bertie told her the truth, the full, plain truth. "I want you to marry me" He smiled at her.

Edith looked touched, but still unsure of herself, and of the situation "Just like that?"

Bertie smiled at her, he dared to hope that maybe he was finally making a little headway "Whenever you choose, but... that's what I want."

Edith took a moment to think. "If I agreed…. Which is a BIG "if"…. Would we tell your mother the truth about Marigold?"

A fair question. She was clearly concerned about what living with Bertie would entail. Would it be a life of secrecy? Would she have to conceal her daughter even in her own home? Bertie wanted to have an easier answer for her, but he knew the situation was too complicated and nothing he said would be a true panacea for this concern.

"Let me put it this way, if we tell her, we'll have to break with her. I'd prefer not to do that".

Edith, for her part – couldn't help but feel a glimmer of excitement at Bertie's use of the word "we". She loved the idea of the two of them being a pair again. But she wasn't ready to jump back in. Not just yet.

"Even without your mother. There are people out there who know the truth. There could be gossip. Are you ready for it?"

"I hope to avoid it, but I'm ready if we can't" He laughed. She seemed to be processing it. Bertie chose his next moment very wisely.

"The only thing I'm not ready for – is a life without you".

Bertie stared at Edith intently. She seemed genuinely touched by his last comment, as he could see the emotion on her face. He desperately hoped he was making headway in persuading her to take him back, but she seemed to still be hesitating.

"Edith, you still have a trepidation. Please tell me what it is, and I will do everything I can to assuage your fears"

Edith hesitated. Bertie was quite worried. She seemed almost on the verge of tears and she couldn't quite meet his eye for longer than a moment. He had no idea if she was upset, or nervous or genuinely sad.

"Bertie… Last time we spoke. You said you didn't feel you could trust me…"

Realization set in for Bertie, he may have felt a little betrayed that she didn't trust him enough to tell him about her daughter. But in the process, he had hurt her. Badly.

"Right." Bertie looked down at his plate for a moment. "And for that, Edith… I'd like to beg your forgiveness."

She couldn't have looked more shocked at his last statement. She was clearly anticipating that bringing up trust was going to take this conversation in a vastly different direction.

Bertie continued "Edith, I believe you would have told me about Marigold. I do. When I left you, I replayed all of our last conversations over and over in my head. Several… HUNDRED times over, if I am being honest" he let out a chuckle. He stole a glance at Edith, she was not yet relaxed enough to laugh with him, so he continued on.

"I realized that you had been working up to telling me. It was there in so many of our conversations, your repeated remarks that you weren't sure you were worthy, the fact that Marigold was the first thing you brought up after I proposed. You asked for time, and I said I would give it to you, but I forced you into an answer to my proposal before I left for Tangiers, and that wasn't fair of me." Edith looked quite verklempt, but Bertie was far from finished.

"Had I waited, I believe you would have told me about Marigold. What's more – your timeline for working up to telling me was interfered with by …" Bertie struggled not to throw Mary under the bus, "… by an outside influence."

Edith started to speak although it was evident she was fighting back tears "Bertie, I'm so sorr-"

He cut her off. "No. I must be the one to apologize. It must have felt awful what happened at breakfast that day. I have thought about it a lot since then. You must have hesitated to tell me for fear I might react badly, and that's exactly what I did. For which I am so ashamed. Mary's forcing you to tell me about Marigold like that. Well… that was a test of my honour, and I betrayed your trust."

Bertie paused for a moment. "You should have told me about Marigold sooner. That's true. And I was hurt that you didn't. But I let my emotions cloud my judgment, which led to me making a terrible mistake when I left you. One I've sorely regretted every single moment since. One I am trying to rectify now."

Bertie hadn't taken his eyes off Edith the entire time he spoke. She looked quite emotional and he desperately hoped she was softening toward letting him back in her life.

"I love you, Edith. And I think you love me too. I realize now that when I asked you to marry me in your aunt's drawing room and you asked for time… that was most likely in part influenced by Marigold"

It was then that Edith interrupted, while shaking her head "No, it was entirely influenced by her. I love you too, Bertie. So much. I would have accepted you the instant you asked me had it not been for my daughter".

Bertie smiled. It made his heart triumph with glee to hear her finally say the words. She loved him too.

"And I am sorry for not telling you sooner, I really am."

Bertie just shook his head lightly. He hated that he had been the one to cause this consternation. So he powered on. He looked her in the eyes, and let the love and admiration he'd been dampening for the last 6 weeks pour through his gaze and into his words. "I only met her briefly on my two visits, but she seems like a wonderful little girl. I only hope I'll be granted the privilege of meeting her again." Edith smiled widely at that comment.

"Edith, my darling. I love you, with my whole heart. Will you do me the honour of being my wife?"

Bertie looked at Edith and the second that followed his proposal seemed to last an hour. His heart was beating in his throat and he only hoped he had sufficiently conveyed his love and wish to spend his life with her.

Edith hadn't been able to keep her eyes off him since the proposal. Within an instant, she felt her face erupt in a smile as she quietly responded "Yes, I will".