As Kara landed in her apartment, she felt so upset it was like a ball of lead in her chest. Which struck her as ironic since emotionally, she couldn't see a way through it. No more that she'd have been able to see through it if it had been physically there. The bottom line was that she'd scared everyone in the city. The absolutely worst thing was that, in only a few days, she'd managed to hurt her sister, her boss and one of her best friends.
Kara set a quart of chocolate fudge brownie ice-cream and a spoon down on an end table and went to her bedroom. She changed out of the all black outfit she'd been wearing and pulled on sweat pants and a t-shirt. It made her feel slightly more normal but the weight in her chest didn't go away. Even putting the clothes in her bathroom sink and using her heat vision to incinerate them didn't help at all. For a long moment, she leaned on her palms over the sink, letting her tears fall. Hank had been right. She now understood what he'd meant about what she was capable of doing if she lost her temper.
The young woman went back to the living room and sat on the couch, pulling her knees up to her chest and turning the TV on."…joining us for this breaking story. Supergirl has been stopped by some form of military organization and it seems as though National City skies are once more safe. But what really happened to the woman we've grown to love and depend on so much? There are many theories floating around… one that she was under the influence of some mind altering substance or worse, another alien influence but we have to face the fact that maybe Supergirl has just got tired of doing what she's been doing for months now. Maybe she's tired of saving us…"
Kara sat forward, pointing her ice-cream spoon at the TV screen. "No! That is NOT true!" Then she got up and returned the ice cream to the refrigerator. "I have to try to fix this," she muttered and she went back to her bedroom to put on her super suit. Minutes later, she was sitting on the balcony at CatCo just staring out over the city while she thought about her next move. Kara really wanted to ask Cat Grant for help but, considering only a day ago, she'd thrown her off this very balcony, she wasn't sure what Cat's reaction would be. Then the Queen of All Media appeared, drink in hand. She paused as she realized Kara was there but walked to the edge of the balcony and stared out into the night.
"I love this city," Kara began. The lights… all the windows. I love that behind every window, there's a story. Someone's eating takeout with their boyfriend. Someone's playing board games with their kids." She took a breath. "To me, every person in this city is a light… and every time I've helped one of them, a little bit of their light has become a part of me. I've never been happier than when I've been Supergirl." She took another breath. "I know that what happened wasn't exactly my fault… my… my brain was altered. But it brought something inside of me out that was… mean and horrible." She got up then and approached the older woman, relieved that she didn't try to back away. Losing Cat would have been a blow Kara wasn't sure she could handle. "What I did to you, Miss Grant…"
Cat lifted her drink. "Oh please. I've base jumped Mount Kilimanjaro. Do you really think you scared me? Well, ok, yes, you did scare me."
Kara shook her head. "I know. I scared the whole city and now I'm so afraid I'm never gonna be able to win them back." She stopped then and looked down. "Can you help me, Miss Grant? Please? Can you stand beside me live on air so I can reassure people that I'm not crazy and I'm not going to hurt them?"
"You do realize that I denounced you, Supergirl."
"I know… but if you can forgive me… and I really hope you can… maybe the people of National City can start to forgive me too?"
Cat thought about that for a moment and then nodded. "Firstly, on my side there's nothing to forgive. You weren't yourself, Kara and I still… appreciate you and have faith in you. I know that you're an amazing person and you have a heart as large as that symbol on your chest so I will set up a press conference and be there with you tomorrow. I'll have my assistant, Kiera, organize it for us."
And now came that moment that Kara had always feared. The moment where she had to make that decision that would change hers and Cats relationship forever. "Miss Grant, call her now if you would?"
"Sure." Cat speed dialed her assistant's number but, to her surprise, she heard a phone ringing. She stared at Supergirl as the young woman put on a pair of glasses and reached under her cape into the hidden pocket at the curve of her back to pull out her own phone. She held it up and showed Cat the screen on which Miss Grant and the older woman's picture was visible. "Well…" Cat smiled. "This is one for the books. I couldn't get you to take them off last time."
"Last time," Kara replied, "I was terrified of anyone knowing who I was. All I could think about was my family and how it would affect them." She shook her head. "But I know I can trust you, Miss Grant."
"Oh for goodness sake. If I'm going to be your cheerleader, you can call me Cat."
Kara smiled and in her tear-filled blue eyes, Cat saw some of her light begin to return. It made her heart jump. "Thank you, Cat."
"Press conference at 1pm, Kiera. Set it up, please and send Supergirl the details." She winked at the younger woman and headed back inside.
"I'm on it, Miss Grant," Kara murmured with a little grin.
"You told her?" Winn looked shocked. "I thought you weren't telling anyone?"
"It was something I had to do to make this work today, Winn. I can't organize a press conference for Supergirl and not be there. Miss Grant would never fall for that. Besides, she's doing something huge for me and I owe her the truth."
Winn nodded his understanding as he leaned back on his desk. "What are you going to say?"
"I don't know yet. I guess I'll decide when I get up there." Kara sighed. "I want it to be in the moment."
Cat stuck her head in. "Ready, Supergirl?"
"Ready? I hope so. Terrified? Definitely." But Kara squared her shoulders and followed her boss out to where the cameras were waiting. A small platform with a podium had been set up outside the door of Cat's office and Kara stepped up onto it. Camera flashes bombarded her and she lifted her hand to shield her sensitive eyes.
The Queen of All Media stepped up next to her and tapped the microphone to make sure it was on. "Ladies and Gentlemen, Supergirl would like to say a few words and then she'll answer a small number of questions... and please, let's be respectful." She stepped back and gently squeezed Kara's shoulder. The younger woman took a breath and cleared her throat as she stepped up to the microphone and adjusted it for her greater height.
"Hello, my name is Kara but you all know me better as Supergirl. I asked Miss Grant to help me with setting up this time because I owe the people of National City an explanation for what happened over the past few days." She took a breath. "I watched the news reports at home last night and one of the suggestions put forth to explain my behavior was that I've grown tired of…" She made air quotes. "… saving people. That could not be further from the truth. Five days ago, while helping firefighters to extinguish a roof fire, I came in contact with a substance called Red Kryptonite that had been deliberately planted there. It was chemically engineered to kill Kryptonians but, unfortunately or maybe fortunately in some regard, the chemist got the components incorrect and, instead of killing me, it altered my brain chemistry, the result of which was a side of me that was mean and awful coming to the surface. I had no control over myself." She paused a moment as she looked from person to person in the audience. "I'm not trying to make excuses. I did some terrible things and I scared a lot of people. I know I've lost your trust but I promise…" Tears filled her eyes and she tried to blink them away as she leaned her palms on the podium and looked right into the TV camera. "I PROMISE that I will do EVERYTHING in my power to win back that trust and keep you all safe. I love this city. I love the people who live here. I am YOUR Supergirl. Thank you."
Kara stepped back from the podium as flashes lit the room over and over again and Cat took the microphone from its stand. "Supergirl will take some questions now," she said, then handed the microphone to her friend.
"Supergirl! Supergirl! You said you were watching the news at home last night. Where is home? Do you have a lair or a Bat Cave or something like that?"
Kara chuckled, letting some of her natural sense of humor show. "No lair. I just have an apartment in the city. I even have internet access," she added in a joking conspiratorial tone. She stepped down from the platform and moved through the crowd, letting the photographers do their work.
"Which means you have a job? I mean one outside of being Supergirl? You have to pay rent, right?"
"Yes, I do. I have a great job and I love it."
"How can you justify that?" The new voice sounded bitter and Kara turned to look at a man with a voice recorder pointed at her.
"I'm sorry. I don't understand the question." She crossed her arms and waited for him to explain, tapping her thumbs against her biceps. From the podium, Cat just watched, swallowing every now and again.
"You're the most physically powerful woman in the world. You have a responsibility to use that power to help people, yet you spend eight hours of your day sitting behind a desk or working in a store while there are people out there who need your help and don't get it?"
Supergirl nodded. "You lost someone. What happened?"
"My wife. A balcony collapsed two weeks ago during an office lunch. She… she fell…"
Again Supergirl nodded. "I remember that tragedy and, Sir, please allow me to offer my condolences."
"Maybe if you'd gotten there sooner, you could have saved everyone instead of just some of them. But instead you were doing your day job." He was crying now and looking down at the floor. Kara turned the microphone off and moved closer to him, taking him gently by the arms and ducking her head to look him in the eyes.
"I tried to save them all but, even with my speed, I couldn't do it. Every time I save someone, a piece of their light becomes a part of me. Every time I don't save someone, a part of me dies with them," she simply said. "And I have to live with that just the same as you."
The man sniffled and nodded. "I'm sorry."
"So am I," Supergirl replied. "I wish I could have saved her." She squeezed his arms and then turned the microphone back on. "Any more questions?"
"Supergirl, are you truly indestructible?"
With a little grin, Kara shook her head. "I wish. No, I'm just… VERY damage resistant. My name should be Kevlar, not Kara. I eat and sleep. I hang out with my friends when I can. I love Homeland. I mean c'mon! Who doesn't love Homeland, right?!" A round of laughs circled the room and Cat smiled. That's my girl. "I love donuts and puppies and ice-cream, horror movies and romance novels, not that I have much time for reading these days."
"Oh you read and write English?"
That pulled a genuine laugh from the Girl of Steel. "Yes, I can read and write. I went to school and college here on Earth."
"That makes you sound almost normal," came a snarky comment but Kara couldn't pinpoint where it had come from.
"You're right. Flight, strength and my other abilities don't make me normal. Being raised from age thirteen on Earth by a loving human family and living my life trying to fit in does. Don't we all just want to fit in?"
"Do you have a boyfriend… or girlfriend? Are you a virgin?"
Cat cleared her throat loudly as Supergirl crossed her arms over her chest and tilted her head. "Dude, seriously?" she said, narrowing her eyes at him. She sighed then. "I am not currently dating. Please see the previous comment about not having much time these days."
"Supergirl?" came a small voice and Kara turned around the find a young girl standing by her. "Can I ask you some questions for my school report?"
"Sure," Kara crouched down and held the microphone between the two of them. "What's your name and how old are you?"
The girl smiled shyly. "My name is Chelsea and I'm ten."
"Cool," Supergirl replied. "Go ahead, Chelsea."
"How old are you? And what size boots do you wear?"
Kara chuckled. "Compared to you, old. But I'm almost twenty-five and I wear a size eight."
"What's your favorite food?"
"Donuts. But I don't have to worry about being healthy. You shouldn't eat too many donuts."
"We love you, Supergirl, and we're glad that the red… stuff… didn't kill you… but how can we be sure that you won't turn evil again and hurt people?"
For a long moment, Kara was floored. There it was. Right out of the mouth of a babe. What could she say to that? So she gave the little girl a hug and straightened to her full height. "Chelsea asked the hard question, didn't she? I see a job with Miss Grant in your future, Sweetie." There was a deathly silence in the room. Even Cat seemed to be holding her breath. "The answer is… I can't be sure. I wish I could but I can't see the future. I want to say that I'll be perfect all the time, but the bottom line is, I'm not perfect. My promise stands though. I will do everything in my power to do good. And for those of you who are wondering, the organization that took me down last night is an organization that I work with regularly to help keep this planet safe. I've provided instructions on how to stop me if there's ever a problem again."
The silence in the room was broken only by the flashing and recharging of digital cameras as Supergirl went back to the podium and slipped the mic back into its holder. "Thank you for your time, Ladies and Gentlemen." And with that, she walked quickly into Cat's office and straight out onto the balcony where she buried her face in her hands and burst into tears.
After a moment, Cat came up behind her and put a hand on her shoulder. "That went better than I'd hoped. They'll get excited and print all the minor personal details you gave them and your little faux pas will be old news after that." But when Kara didn't say anything, Cat squeezed her shoulder. "Kara?"
The young woman sniffled and took a breath. "Sorry… I… um… I'm just feeling kinda overwhelmed right now."
Cat slid in between Supergirl and the wall of the balcony and looked at her for a long moment. Then she ran her hands slowly up Kara's arms, over the curves of her muscles to her shoulders and then around her neck to give her a long hug. The young woman just closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around Cat's waist. She didn't let herself think what this might mean or whether it was ok. She just held Cat close and when gentle lips brushed over hers, she didn't resist at all.
"In case you haven't noticed in all the time we've known each other," Cat whispered. "I am very attracted to you, Kara Danvers, but if you are not attracted to me… just step away."
Kara didn't move away. Instead, she ducked her head and kissed Cat gently. Then she pulled back and smiled. "Don't hate me in the morning…" and with that she rose into the air taking Cat with her.
"I'm just… I… Kara is going to freak out when she sees this." James and Winn were staring at the front page of the Daily Planet online. "It HAS to be a great Photoshop job."
Kara had stopped by to apologize to James for her comments about Lucy but she stopped short when she saw her friends staring at James' computer screen. "Hey Guys, freak out about wha…" She stopped dead, her mouth hanging open.
"I know, right?" James replied softly. "I can't believe that the Daily Planet would stoop to publishing Photoshopped pictures."
Kara couldn't take her eyes away from the perfectly high-resolution still photograph of her and Cat kissing that was gracing the screen along with the cheesy headline. GAY SUPERGIRL DE-CLAWS CAT GRANT. "Um… they're… they're… not actually Photoshopped," she replied quietly.
Winn put out a hand. "You kissed Cat Grant?!"
The young woman shrugged. "Well… teeeechnically she kissed me first but… yes."
"Ok, well you guys kissed. It was an emotional moment… understandable, right?"
"Right," James agreed. Kara cleared her throat and looked away, straightening her glasses and pursing her lips. "You didn't just kiss," he added in a flat tone with a sigh. "Kara..."
And with that, the young woman crumbled. "Oh my God. I have no clue how it happened. I was there and she was there and we kissed and she told me she was attracted to me… Kara Danvers me… and I just… it's been SOOO long and…"
"KIERA!"
Kara closed her eyes and sighed. Then she turned without another word and headed towards Cat's office, her latte in hand, which she quickly warmed with her heat vision as she entered the room.
"Good morning, Miss Grant," she said softly, placing the coffee next to her boss's hand but as she moved to take her hand away, Cat's fingers brushed it.
"Good morning. Are you ok?
Kara nodded with a little smile. "Yes, are you?"
Cat chuckled. "Yes. Although I was a little disappointed to wake up alone this morning."
"I'm sorry. I actually had to leave shortly after you fell asleep. There was an apartment block fire I had to take care of."
"I understand, of course" the older woman replied as she kept writing on her pad. "I just wanted to make sure you weren't…" She looked up with a smile. "Freaking out or anything."
"Well, I kinda am…" Kara began. "Have you seen the front page of the Daily Planet this morning?"
"No, I try not to ruin my day before it gets started."
"You should look."
Cat sighed and opened the Planet's website… and dropped her pen as her mouth dropped open. "Oh my… interesting…"
"Interesting? This is bad!"
"Why?" Cat got up and closed her office doors. Then she went to the sofa to sit down, patting the seat next to her and waiting for Kara to join her there. "It's a little surprising but let's face it, Kara, it's a good thing for myself AND Supergirl." She sucked in a breath for a moment. "The two most powerful women in this city are interested in each other. We're making each other look good."
Kara shook her head. "But I'm not sure that I want my love life to be front page news like this, Cat."
The older woman nodded. "This is not the first time I've been front page news like this but I know it's all new to you. I had such a great time with you last night, Kara, but I understand if this is not what you want. It was kind of… sudden."
"That's not it. There's something else you haven't thought of. I'm two separate people, Cat and this puts limits on us," Kara replied, visibly upset. "Now that everyone has seen you kissing Supergirl, we can't let anyone see you kissing me." She got up. "Which means that Kara Danvers can't be with you and if Kara Danvers can't be with you, neither can Supergirl. Excuse me, I need some air."
Cat leaned back and huffed out a breath as the realization of what Kara meant hit her. "Damn."
Agent Alex Danvers, lead agent at the DEO and older sister, made a sad face and handed her a bag of ice-cream and donuts when Kara opened the door. "Photoshopped?"
The younger woman shook her head and went back to the sofa where she was already working on ice-cream. "No," she grumped.
"Then how…" Alex joined her there but paused as her sister tilted her head and gave her a meaningful look. "Ohhhh… wow…. Ok." She was quiet for a long moment. "Was… was it planned?"
"Not at all," Kara replied. "It just…"
"Happened." Alex finished for her. "What are you going to do now?"
"There's nothing we can do," the younger Danvers replied with a frown. "I told her that I can't just be Supergirl in this."
"Kara are you… are you saying that you want this? You and Cat, I mean?"
Tears filled Kara's eyes and she nodded. "Yes, I do… I… being with her was amazing… it made me feel… like I'm a real woman and not just a caricature of one." She started to cry and Alex scooted closer to wrap her arms around her.
"This is more than just a kiss," she murmured. "You slept together." The blonde head nodded and Alex sighed. "Kara… I'd be happy for you if I couldn't see that this is making you miserable. Haven't you had enough drama for the week?"
Just then there was a knock and Kara sighed as she looked through the door. "It's Cat." She got up and went to open it again. The older woman was dressed in jeans and a plain t-shirt. Something Kara had never seen her wear before. "Hi."
"Can we talk?" Cat asked as she came inside but she stopped when she saw Alex. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize you had company."
Alex came over with a smile and held out her hand. "Alex Danvers. I'm Kara's sister. It's nice to meet you."
"Cat, Alex, Alex, Cat," Kara stated then shut the door and went back to her ice-cream.
"Oh boy," Cat breathed. "I'll… go… I'm sorry…"
With a glance back at her sister, Alex shook her head. "No," she replied, touching the other woman's arm. "You guys need to talk. I'll go. Call me later, Kara."
"Ok," the younger Danvers called from the other side of the apartment. "Love you."
As Alex headed out, Cat stalked across the apartment and stood with her arms crossed in front of her assistant. Then without a word, she took the ice-cream out of Kara's hands and sat herself squarely in the younger woman's lap with her legs stretched out the length of the sofa. "I know I can't hurt you by sitting on you so deal with it." She leaned her head back on Kara's chest and sighed. "I don't like this. I don't like wanting you and not being able to have you."
The blonde's arms closed around her loosely. "Why did you come here, Cat?"
"Because I realized that I didn't know where you lived and I wanted to know." She looked around. "I have to say that this is exactly what I pictured. It's very Kara Danvers." But her tone wasn't critical. It was more wondering.
"That's because this is my home as well as Supergirl's. In fact, it was mine long before hers."
"That's why I've decided to break up with Supergirl." Cat turned and looked into Kara's frightened eyes. "I was yours long before I was hers."
"Wh… what?"
"Kara, I thought a lot about what you said today. Even if this doesn't work out between us in the end, I want us to be able to go and be seen together in public. I want you to come to dinners and award shows with me, not as my assistant but as my lover or partner or whatever the kids are calling it these days. I want to be able to show you off because you're beautiful and smart and funny." She chuckled then. "And let's face it, I can still have Supergirl in private."
The younger woman grinned and hugged Cat tighter. "I think you're smart and beautiful and funny and pretty damn amazing actually," she replied. They spent a few leisurely moments kissing until Cat looked at her watch.
"Time for the news." She took the remote, flipped the channel and unmuted the sound. "Here we go."
"Wait, you gave LOIS LANE an interview?" Kara asked, completely floored.
"Yes," Cat shrugged. "This was important to me. I was flying back from Metropolis while you were eating ice-cream."
The focused back on the TV. "So, Cat Grant. The biggest story of the day today was your kiss with Supergirl. What can you tell us about your relationship with her?"
TV Cat's face was calm but Kara could tell she was annoyed with Lois. Nothing new there. "Supergirl and I had a very brief relationship and I do not in any way want to minimize it, but we decided to part as friends a short while ago. That photo was in fact a good bye kiss."
Kara grinned. "Not bad. Not bad at all."
"I'm seeing someone else now," TV Cat went on. "But until she's ready, I won't be commenting any further on that."
"Does this mean you're gay now?" Lois asked craftily.
"Now?" TV Cat raised an eyebrow. "Have you forgotten our college experiences, Lois?"
Kara almost spit her ice-cream across the room as she burst into laughter. "Oh my God, Honey, I can't believe you said that!"
The term of endearment wasn't lost on Cat as she scowled. "I hate that woman."
Kara's face became serious then. "Thank you for respecting my needs."
"You're important to me, Kara." Cat cupped her cheek and pressed their foreheads together. "Very very important. Now, can I PLEASE ravish you?"
Kara grinned wildly, lifted them both up and headed for the bedroom.