The Lost Lover

"Okay... Do you want to go over the flashcards again?" I asked, staring up at Nick.

He rolled his eyes. "Carrots, I can name all of your siblings alphabetically and backwards. Here, I know what will help you relax."

He started stroking my ears. Slowly, delicately.

I crooned into his lap as he massaged me. The other train passengers were probably staring, but for the life of me I couldn't care. Who knew fox laps were so comfy?

I shook myself. "Dangit! Stop trying to distract with cuddles."

"Well I can't distract you with sex, there are children on the train."

I blushed crimson. "Nick, this is serious." I put a paw on his arm. "I really want my family to like you..."

He sighed, putting his paw down. "Judy, interspecies relations aren't that weird, and the number of skeletons in my closet is pretty small... for a fox."

I winced. "Nick, what have I told you about internalized speciesism?"

He tilted his head. "You say things? I admit don't usually listen when you're being adorable"

I smirked. "Are there times when I'm not adorable?"

"I'll let you know if it ever happens."

I nestled down and looked up at his cute little muzzle. "Why am I so nervous...? I swear by all that's holy it's not the fox thing."

He shrugged. "I mean, this is the first time you've brought anyone home right?"

I sighed. "It's the first time I've had anyone to take home period"

His eyes widened. "Wait, Carrots, are you seriously telling me I'm your first love?"

I smiled. "I suppose I've had crushes before," I took his paw in mine, feeling the soft pads there so different, and so new. "But nothing like this. There's no one in the world like you."

Nick sniffed. "Damn it Carrots you're going to make my head grow thirty sizes."

"Don't worry sweetie, it can't get any bigger."

He snorted, tousling my fur in revenge. "If it makes you feel any better, I haven't been in love for nearly a decade. Not since a certain incident that landed me behind bars."

I raised an ear, curious. "Huh?" I knew he'd been briefly imprisoned for drug possession (a very small amount of marijuana that should not have landed him in jail in a just world), but he hadn't talked about it all that much. "Did you fall in love with a dealer or..." I narrowed my eyes. "You didn't seduce the judge did you?"

He snorted. "I wish. Nah it's... Well." He blushed. "Did I ever mention I was bisexual?"

It had come up in passing before, but I couldn't see what that... I blanched. "You had a prison wife?"

Nick scratched at the back of his head. "I mean, I didn't call him that obviously. He was just another fox I shared a cell with. He was a lot more... bruiser, than I was. He was in for two years for assault and I had no idea how we ended up sharing a cell. At first I gave him a wide berth, but then..."

He looked off, out the window. "I found him crying one night, his paws bloody from some scuffle or whatever... He told me he was a bad person, and he didn't know how to get better."

He blushed, but oddly he was smiling. "I guess after that I found myself comforting him, and he protected me. He'd sneak sugar out of the kitchen and make little candies for me. I tried my best to get him into the in-system counseling programs and we... We were intimate. It wasn't instant, but it happened from time to time, after lights out. We didn't talk about it, but... We smiled about it. If that makes sense."

I kept waiting for a pang of shock or jealousy to hit me, but it just sort of... Didn't. It wasn't what I expected to hear, but it fit with the fox I knew. "So... What happened?"

He sighed. "What do you think happened Carrots? I got released and the guy had another year and a half. The whole 'locked up partner' relationship thing never seemed to work for any of the inmates who tried it, so we agreed to part ways."

He looked cold for a moment. Then he looked down at me and smiled. "It all worked out in the end for me though." He gave me a nuzzle. "I found someone almost as good."

I punched him in the arm. "Did you ever find out what happened to him?"

He shook his head. "I'm afraid not after prison it seemed best if we didn't talk. I like to think he found some peace though. I think he was on the right path."

I gave his stomach a nuzzle. "Sounds to me like you helped him get there."

He scratched the back of my ears. "I sure hope so."

He smiled down at me and I luxuriated in his presence. "Any other mysterious exes I should know about?" I asked, leaning my head into his paw.

He put a paw to his chin. "Well, there was this mysterious older rabbit named Stu, but it was purely physical."

I poked him in the stomach. "You are a butt, Nicholas P. Wilde."

"So that's why you like staring at me..."

#

After what felt like ages, the train came to a stop. The view on the ride out of Zootopia was far less spectacular than the one into it, so I'd spent most of the time snoozing on top of Nick.

It still felt a bit odd, coming home after living in the city for so long. I was getting used to the tight confines of the city streets and the rich smells of a thousand different types of animal. Urban living had its downsides, but even before I went there, I knew I was a city bunny at my core.

Still, being in the country had its own charm in small doses. It was less claustrophobic when you wandered the fields, and more cozy when you snuggled down in the burrows. Plus I was surrounded by people I loved and who loved me. That part was pretty awesome.

Nick passed me my suitcase and he flung a far too big duffel on his back. I'd tried to tell him we were only here for a week and we had plenty of things at the house, but he insisted on bringing enough supplies for a small, tie clad army.

He wouldn't even let me carry it for him. I think my sweet, masculine fox was trying to prove something... Despite the fact that we both knew I could out-bench him.

When we hopped off the train, my parents were there to greet us. I bounded up to them and gave them a great big hug. "Mom! Dad!"

They hugged me back. "Hey there Jude the Dude!" Dad said, "Glad you could make it out."

I waved a paw. "Bogo practically begged us to take off. We hadn't taken any vacation days in ages. How have you been!"

My mom smiled. "Oh, you know how it is out here. It's always a bit hectic in the summer. Still the crop this year looks to be quite the bumper, and your siblings have been staying out of trouble for the most part."

I smiled. "Great to hear. I think Nick is... Oh!" Nick was struggling to get his duffel out the medium sized train door. I joined him and gave it a hearty yank.

It popped free in an instant.

He stared at me. I patted him on the back. "We'll say you loosened it for me."

Mom looked a little shocked at my other half's baggage. "Oh my, lucky we came prepared. Gideon! Could you come down here please?"

To my surprise, my parents' new business partner wandered over with a dolly. "Howdy Judy! Your parents thought you might need some help with..." He froze, staring at Nick.

I blinked. Nick was staring back.

For a moment everything was silent.

Then Nick whispered. "Giddy...?"