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Clary: Izzy, I need your help. I'm stuck in a gas station bathroom. I sneezed and pee'd myself. I need clothes!

Alec: Um.

Clary: Shit!

Alec: So . . .

Clary: I'm going to go die now.

Alec: lol

Alec: Clary?

Alec: You still there?

Alec: Look, I'm not going to tell anyone. Which gas station?

Clary: You told Magnus.

Alec: . . .

Alec: Im not going to tell anyone else.

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Izzy: Clary, do you still think I'm sexy?

Clary: Of course! Why are you asking?

Izzy: Well, I was trying to . . . seduce Simon.

Clary: . . . okay?

Izzy: And he laughed at me.

Clary: What?!

Izzy: Well not at first.

Clary: What happened?

Izzy: I danced and . . . my stomach knocked over a lamp.

Clary: omg.

Izzy: And then I tried crawling toward him seductively, but I had trouble getting up on the bed.

Izzy: Clary?

Izzy: Are you still there?

Izzy: You're laughing aren't you.

Clary: No. Not at all. Okay just a little bit.

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Clary: Jace, are you busy?

Jace: Not at the moment. Me and Alec just finished putting down that demon in West Village.

Clary: Okay. I need you to come home.

Jace: Is everything all right?

Clary: I just need you, Jace. . .

Jace: Did you go into labor?

Jace: Is the baby okay?

Jace: Clary, answer me!

Clary: There was a commercial . . . there was a little boy that brought his mom food for mothers day . . . Jace, I can't stop crying!

Jace: Wait . . . Seriously?

Clary: JACE!

Jace: Okay, lol, I'm on my way.

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Magnus: So how's lunch with your sister going?

Alec: Well, I just got done consoling her while she cried for the past hour over a squirrel that ran out into the street and got hit by a cab. So there was that.

Magnus: I don't know what to do with that.

Alec: You don't have to do anything.

Alec: I'm just so glad neither of us can get pregnant.

Magnus: Max ate blue clay and then vomited it on your bows.

Alec: Of course he did.

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