Dumb Fox, Sly Bunny

Nicholas P. Wilde was not only the newest officer of the ZPD; he was also the first fox. And he had something to prove.

After living in a tiny apartment and being told by all the children (and some adults) of his neighborhood that a sneaky, untrustworthy fox could never be a cop, but he had finally proved them wrong, he had trained at the academy, he had made it.

Or so he had thought.

Arriving at the precinct on his first day he was eager to start on the missing mammal case that was filling Zootopia with fear. But the Cape buffalo, Officer Chief Bogo, had other ideas: "Parking duty."

Nick's jaw dropped, he stared at the buffalo as he turned to leave the bullpen, all the other officers having already been assigned to actual cases. Nick jumped off his too big chair and hurried after the chief, "Sir, with all due respect I was hoping I could maybe help find a missing mammal or two…?"

Bogo stopped walking to stare the fox down; Nick forced himself to hold his ground. "We have enough officers on that case," Bogo rumbled, "The newbies all have to do their fair share. Now why don't you show me your dedication? Get me one hundred parking tickets before the day is up and then maybe I can give you a case."

And with that the buffalo walked out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

Nick fought back an aggravated sigh and shook his head to clear it, he had known coming in that there would be doubters. He just had to prove them wrong.

"You want one hundred tickets?" Nick asked the empty air as he stretched his arms out and cracked his knuckles, "I'll give you two hundred…" He grinned, "Before noon."

Released into the city Nick proceeded to do just that, rolling out tickets from one side of two to the next. He watched the number go up gleefully, this would show Chief Buffalo Butt he was serious, it would prove he wasn't just some good-looking, token fox.

He finally reached two hundred (technically two hundred and one if he counted himself) just in time. He rested his paws on his hips and smiled, so happy with himself he didn't even mind that the 'car' they had given him drove slower than he walked.

"Phew," he pulled at the collar of his uniform, "Being an awesome cop isn't easy on a hot day." Perhaps he deserved a break to cool down.

Spotting an ice cream parlor called Jumbeaux's Café he scurried over; knowing there had to be some form of air-conditioning inside.

Opening the large door Nick was immediately blasted with cold air and an angry voice.

"I don't want no trouble, so beat it!"

The elephant behind the counter (who Nick assumed was the owner), was glaring down at someone the fox couldn't see from where he stood, elephants and other heavy mammals in live were blocking his view.

"I'm not looking for trouble, mister."

Nick walked farther into the store in time to see the mammal in front of the line speak again: "I just want to buy a jumbo pop for my little niece."

It was a bunny, a very cute bunny with gray fur and big violet eyes, wearing a pink shirt that was tied in a knot at the stomach and faded jeans. Beside her was a younger bunny with light fur and wearing an elephant costume.

The older rabbit leaned down to be at eye level with her niece, "Do you want the red or the blue, honey?" She had a country accent that Nick realized must be from Bunnyburrow.

The tiny bunny waddled to the display case and pointed at the red pop, "That one, Aunt Judy!"

Nick chuckled to himself, placing his paws in his pockets before turning on his heel to go find ticket number two hundred and two.

"Come on kid, back up. Listen girl, there aren't any rabbit ice cream shops where you're from?"

Nick stopped in his tracks.

"No, there are, there are," the rabbit-Judy-said. "But my niece, Mina, here"-the little bunny hurried over to accept a pat on the head-"Is crazy about elephants, wants to be one when she grows up."

Mina threw the hood over her head and let out an endearing 'toot-toot' noise. "Isn't that adorable?"

Nick smiled at the two rabbits, they were adorable.

"I'm all she's got you see," Judy went on, "And who am I to crush her little dreams?"

The elephant rolled his eyes rudely and pulled a sign forward, "Look you probably can't read rabbit but the sign says we reserve the right to refuse service to anyone, so beat it!"

Nick scowled as the elephant behind the rabbits made an impatient noise and little Mina looked ready to cry. Straightening his collar Nick marched over to stand beside the two rabbits.

"And does the sign also say you reserve the right to ignore the health code?"

Judy stared up at him in surprise while the elephant narrowed his eyes at him, "There's no parking meters here, fox."

"I'm a cop, actually," Nick replied smugly, flashing his badge. "And I'm curious…do your customers know they're being served mucus flavored ice cream?" He nodded to the employee behind the elephant who had been fixing a cone without the use of a proper trunk glove.

Nick smiled down at Mina, "Maybe you should rethink letting this future elephant have a jumbo pop." He smirked up at the parlor owner, "Otherwise I'd be forced to call in the health inspected and who wants that?"

Judy crouched next to Mina, both casting the elephant doe-eyed looks. He let out an annoyed groan, "It'll be fifteen dollars."

Judy grinned up at Nick as she jumped up and put her paw in her pocket, but the smile quickly vanished as the rabbit desperately searched her person. "Oh no! I forgot my wallet!" She let out a depressed moan, "Seriously, Judy, you'd forget your head if it wasn't screwed on." She knelt next to her niece and kissed the little rabbit's cheek, "Some birthday huh? But please don't be mad at me, I'll make it up to you somehow." She stood up and smiled sadly at Nick, "Thanks anyway." She pulled Mina out of the shop, the little rabbit staring sadly at the jumbo pops.

Nick furrowed his brow in determination and pulled out a twenty, slamming it onto the counter, "Keep the change."

Nick carried the jumbo pop out the parlor, the two rabbits following after.

"Seriously, Officer, I can't thank you enough. This is the sweetest thing I've ever witnessed."
They stopped on the sidewalk, "May I pay you back?"

"Nah, my treat," Nick winked at her. "To be honest you could've been trying to rob the place and I might have helped." He glared at the shop, "I really can't stand mammals like that, but I guess they're everywhere." He smiled softly at Judy, "But don't let them get to you, you're a great aunt and a really nice girl."
Judy glanced at the ground for a second in a bashful manner, "Aren't you the charmer." She met his eye, "It's rare to find such a gentleman, Officer…?"

"Wilde," Nick offered his paw, "Miss…?"
"Hopps," she shook his paw, "Judy Hopps." She took the jumbo pop, having to hold it with both paws.

"As for you," Nick crouched down to be at Mina's eye level, "I grew up being told I could never be a cop but all I had to do was believe in myself and here I am." He pulled out a junior ZPD sticker and placed it on her chest. "If you wanna be an elephant then by God you be an elephant, Mina." The small rabbit smiled up at him.

"We need to go, honey," Judy told her niece, "Thank the nice fox."

Mina wrapped her arms around Nick's neck and squeezed, he chuckled and patted her back. The two rabbits walked away, Mina giving him a goodbye 'toot-toot' before they disappeared around the corner.

.

Nick was on ticket two hundred and fifty three, feeling pretty good about himself, when it all went downhill.

Placing said ticket on the car he noticed a familiar shape across the street, little Mina.

"Hey!" he called out, starting to walk over, "How're-"

Nick stopped walking when he saw the little rabbit was standing by jars of red liquid that was being poured down a storm pipe. His eyes followed said pipe up to the roof where Judy was melting the jumbo pop. Once finished she jumped back down to the ground and with Mina's help placed the full jars into the back of a truck, and after buckling up Mina she drove off. Nick followed.

Anger rising he watched as the rabbits refroze the pop juice into little pawpsicles, sold them to lemmings, and then sold the pawpsicles sticks to some mice at a construction sight.

When the scam was over he watched from afar as Judy counted out the money before giving some bills to Mina, and then a van stuffed with loud young rabbits appeared and stopped beside them.

Judy picked up Mina and walked over to the vehicle.

"Done making my daughter a criminal?" the driver asked.

"Aw, come on, sis," Judy said, "I'm teaching her business and life skills-and giving her an allowance."

She kissed Mina on the temple before placing her in the back of the van with the other bunnies who joyfully greeted their aunt.

"Remember I need to baby-sit Rich tomorrow," Judy told her sister. The other rabbit rolled her eyes before starting the van and driving off.

"I love you, too!" Judy yelled after her, waving goodbye.

She turned around to see Nick, paws on his hips and glaring. "What's up, doc?" she asked.

"So is this what you do?" Nick asked with disgust, "Get a nice guy to stand up for you and then lie to him? Attractive."

The rabbit smirked, one paw on her hip and the other holding a pawpsicle she saved for herself, "It's called a hustle, sweetheart." Her accent was gone.

Her eyes then drooped and her eyes grew wide, "And I'm not the liar. She is." She pointed down the street; Nick looked to find no one there, and turned back in time to see Judy turning the street corner.

"Hey!" he snarled, chasing after her.

"I could have you arrested, you know," he snapped as he walked beside her.

Judy was eating the pawpsicle, "Heh, for what?"

"Selling food with a license for one," he replied.

She pulled out a folded certificate, "This little baby lets me sell food and lumber, doll."

"You didn't sell lumber," he snapped angrily as they stopped at a crosswalk. "You lied and told that mouse it was redwood."

"I didn't lie, it is redwood with a space, wood that is red." She finished up her pawpsicle. "How many teeth do foxes have?"

Nick scowled at the random question and bared his fangs, "Enough to-" he ended up nearly choking as Judy then reached up and shoved the used stick into his mouth.

She laughed at his expression, "You're a delightfully simple thing."

She skipped across the crosswalk; Nick spit the stick out and went after her as she crossed into an alley.

"That can be considered assault on an officer!"

"Oh there you go with the officer thing again," she whirled around to face him and proceeded to walk backwards. "You're a…what's the male word for meter maid? Meter…nah, maid works for you."

"I'm the newest member of ZPD, rabbit," Nick growled.

She smirked, "You know, I can read you like a book. Small town fox, only one parent, seen too much crime, wants to change that. But you know how that story ends?"

"I put predators centuries back and eat a rabbit?"

"You realize that no one will ever take you seriously," the bunny said in a suddenly dark tone. "Absolutely no one." She whirled around as they approached a fence with a missing board. "And then you'll scurry home with that cute fluffy, wuffy tail"-she wiggled her hips-"between your legs."

She stopped at the fence and looked him over your shoulder, "Know what you'll do then?"

Nick rolled his eyes, "Let's hear it."

"You're a fox, aren't you? You'll end up back on the other side of the justice system."

She shrugged a shoulder and disappeared through a fence, leaving Nick gaping in indignation. How dare she?!
He slipped through the fence only to be nearly stepped on by a passing rhino; Nick jumped back and tripped, landing on his rump.

Judy, who was only a few feet away, let out an annoyed sigh, "You really don't quit."

"And I won't," Nick snarled from the ground, "You may think I have my limits but I assure you I am limitless!"

Judy looked him over and her smirk returned, "Okay, look."
She walked over to stand between his legs, their noses nearly touching, "Take this from a sweet lil bunny who had you rolling onto your back," she mocked in her accent before returning to normal. "Everyone says Zootopia is where anyone can be anything-well you can't. You can only be what you are. Now I know this sounds depressing, but looking on the bright side! We both overcame our stereotypes."

She pointed to herself, "I'm the sly bunny."

She indicated to him, "You're the dumb fox."

Nick growled, "I'm not a dumb fox."

"Right, darling," she patted his cheek, "And that's not an ant hill."

Nick looked down at his tail to see it had landed on said hill and was now crawling with fire ants. He jumped up with a yelp and furiously tried to shake the ants out of his tail.

Judy rolled her eyes, "You'll never be a real cop; you're a handsome meter maid though. Who knows, maybe you won't eventually fall into a life of crime and end of dead in a ditch. Thought somehow I doubt it. Anyway, you hang in there, Robin Hood!"

And then she was gone.

Nick grumbled under his breath as he dug ants out of his fur. He only had one piece of good news today, Zootopia was a big city and odds are he'd never see that awful bunny again.