He Makes Me Laugh

Temari was a harsh, clever woman, but she loved for simple reasons.

Notes: For some reason I'm still stuck on NaruTema and since my last one was back in 1 billion BC here's everyone's favourite pair of bisexuals fallin' in love. Not gonna be more than a couple chapters.

Edit: Minor tweaks as of 2018, but I did write this years ago so.

Between delivering messages from Kage to Kage, liaison politics, and council meetings, Temari made friends with Yamanaka Ino. On the way back from the Hokage Tower and towards her hotel, Temari would find herself stopping by the Yamanaka Flower Shop, touching flowers as she told Ino of her hobby, and Ino encouraged her to come again and again. This was a wonderful time for Temari, but sometimes there was someone else with them; Nara Shikamaru.

Temari's visits were always curt, short things when Shikamaru was involved. She went in, she saw Shikamaru, and her mood was soured by his complaints about his mother, his job, even Ino herself, right to her face. Ino never seemed to mind, doing nothing more than tell him off for it, but Temari didn't like it at all. She would direct all her attention to the gorgeous flowers Ino tended for, to Ino's bright, compassionate kindness and her warm friendship, and she would ignore Shikamaru completely. Whenever he attempted to speak to her, she would give him a frosty look, then purposely look away. She tried to make him feel as unwelcome as possible.

Probably due to Ino's gentle nature, she worried about Temari's attitude towards her team-mate. "He's a good man, you know!" She would tell her earnestly.

"Then you pay him all the attention you desire," Temari would allow, with a nod, and then she'd watch as Ino spluttered and turned red, obviously embarrassed. Temari had had no friends in her youth; only hunger. Hunger for food, for a better life for her people, for Suna to prosper. Ino had never known such things, and she was so much softer than Temari ever could be for it.

And she could grow such pretty, delicate flowers. Temari stroked a lily with the back of her finger. "Why don't you like him? You saved him once," Ino pointed out. It probably bothered her, young as she was, that her friends couldn't get along. It didn't bother Temari, five years her senior, that her acquaintances tended to hate her brother. Not Gaara; Kankuro. The trickster didn't lose at cards easily.

Temari didn't know how to properly explain Suna Pride; how it was better to die in battle than to be spared, how it was dishonourable to admit defeat… how Shikamaru had utterly, totally humiliated her, in front of her brothers, no less, in front of her teacher, all the family she had, by defeating her in a battle of wits when life was on the line. Temari had saved him to save her pride as a soldier of Suna. She had wanted no more whispers about her supposed softness as she stood by her brothers; Nothing more.

Instead, she rubbed some of the lily's pot dirt between her fingers, and said, quietly; "I can do my job, regardless of personal grievances."

"Was he rude to you?" Ino pressed, full of concern, full of friendship. "I'll make him sorry, don't you worry! Just tell me!"

Temari looked at her, and Ino met her gaze, her fist clenched, passionate. She had meant every word. Temari looked away. The sister of a devil and a trickster had no right to be giving Yamanaka Ino this kind of worry.

"Sometimes, these things…" She began, then stopped. She let out a breath. "I am stubborn. I am a stubborn person. You must leave me to my stubbornness, Ino."

Ino swung herself over the counter, walked up to her, and hugged her. Temari's breath caught. This was the third time someone had embraced her that she remembered. First was Gaara, hesitant, whispering sorry over and over again until she wept. Right after that it was Kankuro, his shoulders shaking, as Gaara wished them both goodnight and they knew they would have nothing to fear from him tonight, for the first time in their lives.

And now Ino, kind Ino, pretty Ino, full of love, who knew nothing of starving or being starved of anything, saw fit to so much as touch her. Temari didn't cry, but she did, slowly, hug her back.

After that afternoon, things between her and Ino were better than ever. She would see her on her way to whatever she was assigned to do, and she would stop by on her way back, no matter what the hour, and Ino would invite her into her house and up to her room. She had met Ino's father only once; Ino must have seen how white she'd turned, her stark, naked terror of meeting an older man who tried to touch her, however casually meant. She never saw him in Ino's house again.

Tonight, she'd had a boring meeting on trade route agreements- again -and been forced to stay late; she would have been later, if she hadn't realised that the Hokage had no idea that a sand worm was a massive, carnivorous underground creature, and absolutely nothing like the little wiggly things Ino put in mulch. She explained this to Ino, as the other woman happily shook up a bottle of nail polish and inspected Temari's toes.

"Really? That sounds like a horror movie! I think I've even heard of one just like that!" Ino exclaimed, looking cowed.

Temari nibbled the rice cracker Ino had shoved into her hands, to keep her from showing Ino how the little toe on her left foot could bend funny because she'd broken it as a child. "That sounds true. They are quite scary. My brother, he has worm fang knives; they are very expensive, and he claims they cost him half a year's worth of pay."

"But?" Ino prompted, eyes glimmering, as she started painting clear polish onto Temari's big toe.

"But my brother forgets, sometimes, that his older sister knows him. He trusts no poison he has not made himself, and worm fangs stay toxic, even in death."

Ino's mouth dropped open, and she gasped appropriately. Temari nodded sagely; she, too, did not put it past Kankuro to go out, hunt down a 200 metre beast, and slay it, just because of his own paranoia. He was also a miser with his money.

"What colour do you want? I was thinking either a dark purple or red, to go with your dress," Ino explained, holding up five different bottles. "Your skin is so dark and tan; these'll look really good on you!"

Temari, born and raised on the sands of the desert, shrugged. "I leave it to you, my friend. You are the expert."

Temari chewed her cracker and Ino painted her toes, practicing her pedicures. Sometimes Temari leaned too far over to watch and got crumbs on her own feet, which Ino would yell about and tell her off for. It was great fun. Temari had never had such a feminine, beautiful friend before. Temari had been surrounded by Suna men all her life; indulging in this was something so foreign to her she could barely comprehend it, but she didn't hate it.

As she started on the other foot, Ino finally spoke again, in a tone that caught Temari's attention. "… Shikamaru said he saw you with Naruto today."

Temari nodded. She had been with Naruto today; he was learning Hokage duties, and she was also teaching him the spoken language of Suna, since he had asked her to. He wanted to talk with Gaara better.

Ino shifted, uncomfortable; she was about to do something she didn't want to. "Y'know, Shikamaru, he's a really smart guy." Was it bringing up her Nara team-mate, a topic that Temari found distasteful? "And, Naruto, well, I love the guy, don't get me wrong, but…" Maybe it was speaking negatively of the young man who always surprised them all? "And you're so smart, Temari, like Shikamaru-"

Temari held up a hand, humming her understanding. Ino fell silent, looking guilty. "I suppose you think it would make more sense, yes, if a clever woman were to talk with a clever man?" Ino nodded, looking up at her intently. "… Shikamaru is not the smartest man I've ever met," Temari said, mildly.

Ino looked like she was dying to ask. She even opened her mouth, until Temari gave her a swift look. It was the cold, furious gaze she used when she was tired of having to talk about Shikamaru; the look that let Ino know that she did not want to hear Temari talk anymore.

Ino sighed, deflated slightly, and went back to her toes. This conversation wasn't over.

—

And indeed it was not, because Ino invited her out to lunch the next time she was in Konoha- to finally sign and agree on the trade route debacle -and gave her her own look; one that let Temari know she was going to have to spill, and spill everything, or else. Ino was such an impressive woman like that.

They got through perusing the menu and ordering without a fuss; Temari even got a few sips of some iced coffee Ino assured her was really good, before Ino cleared her throat, clasped her hands together, and leaned in.

"Look; I know you don't like Shikamaru. I get it."

"You do not," Temari corrected her, recalling the doe-eyed look Ino would give him when she was sure he wasn't looking.

"I get you, so I get it, okay! But why don't you even give him a chance? You two would totally get along! And you'd have interesting conversations and a partner who can actually keep up with your intellect- and I know you're super-smart, Temari, so don't even try it -and, like, I know Naruto's a good guy and he helped your brother and all, but why him and never Shikamaru?"

Temari took another mouthful of her drink. She really didn't want to talk about this; not because it was Ino, but because Ino was of Konoha, and not Suna. Like the Hokage, she didn't have the base understanding. "Ino, my brother was a monster."

"I know."

"You do not," She said again, voice hard. "We tried to kill him, you know. Ever since he was six years old. Again and again. I would watch men creep through my house, knowing that they were going to try to kill that little boy who lived with me, and I would wish them all the luck in the world. He has always been so small. When he was born, my father could cradle him in one hand."

Her voice was barely a whisper now, but surrounded by din and civilians, Ino heard her clearly. "And Naruto… he erased that. My living nightmare. My lifelong terror. Gone. I have another little brother; a real little brother. He is small and shy and he loves me as I love him. He is my family." She swallowed, surprised to find it difficult. She didn't speak for a few moments, and Ino allowed it. "… I owe Uzumaki Naruto the world, Ino, because that is what he has given me."

"Temari…" Ino obviously didn't know what to say. She had no base understanding, and it was one of the things Temari loved her for. "I'm sorry."

Temari shrugged. "There is no fault. Your heart is too big, my friend."

Ino smiled ruefully at her. Shikamaru did not love her back; he loved Temari, who loved Ino, who loved Shikamaru through everything. Temari smiled back.

—

What she didn't tell Ino was that she didn't stay in a hotel when she was in Konoha; she stayed in Naruto's apartment. It was tiny and horrible and it smelled like ramen broth, no matter how often Temari forced the tiny window open. Naruto would take the couch and Temari would sleep in his bed that smelled like him, even if she changed the sheets. He never came back into the bedroom when Temari turned in for the night, because he knew that there was no word in Suna for 'pyjamas' and he'd never dream of walking in on her nude. He could only make toast for breakfast, so that's what Temari would eat every morning.

Naruto loved to talk, and Temari was more than clever enough to be able to half-pay attention while she skimmed whatever papers she needed to. Sometimes, he would talk until he tired himself out, and fall asleep right next to her on the couch, and if his head fell on her shoulder, or in her lap; well, it wasn't a guest's place to boss their host around. Sometimes, she would (terribly) make him a typical Suna meal, and he would choke down burnt, too-spicy meat with nothing more than a watery smile of thanks.

Sometimes they ate out. Naruto would take her, without fail, to Ichiraku's Stand, and Temari would order whatever he did and eat it without complaint. Temari would take him to a tiny restaurant she'd found that specialised in Suna cuisine; she'd taken to calling the proprietor 'auntie' and Naruto would still tear up from the spices when he tried whatever she'd ordered, but he'd still try it none-the-less.

Naruto wasn't half as clever as she was, and he would gasp and exclaim in awe over any show of how smart she could be. It was more than flattering. But what he lacked in political know-how and number savvy, he more than made up for in his ability to talk; Temari had never been left wanting for interesting, humorous conversation with Naruto, because he had a gift with people Temari could gasp and exclaim in awe over. They often found themselves staring in surprise at a lightening sky, having spent the whole night laughing on his threadbare couch.

Temari was a neat person, but Naruto wasn't, and she would often wrinkle her nose at the dirty underwear and empty food containers he left around. But Naruto was so very good with people, and when one day Temari noticed that the rubbish bin and laundry basket were both full, she noticed how used to his home she was. Sometimes she didn't come to Konoha; sometimes it was Kankuro, and sometimes she would find a half-finger glove that was too big for her in the drawer Naruto put aside for her.

It wasn't exactly a secret. The rate of common-law partnerships was almost three times that of legal marriage in Suna, so there was no cultural shame she felt in staying, unattached, in an equally unattached man's home. But, for some reason, she didn't particularly want Ino to know. None of his cohort in Konoha knew that sometimes he came home to Temari wearing one of his shirts and sitting in her underwear on his couch, hair down, furiously annotating a highly classified document. If Temari didn't want Ino to know, she absolutely loathed the thought of anyone else in his little group being aware of her sleeping arrangements, even if his cute little team-mate once saved her brother's life.

Still, she should have expected that one day, someone would walk in to her wearing a pair of her shorts and his black-and-orange jacket while she waited for two minutes by one of his ramen cups. She should've been more grateful it was only his team-mate.

"Temari!" Haruno Sakura exclaimed, looking about as shocked as people often were when it dawned on them the tiny redhead was the real leader of Temari's team.

"Haruno," She said, somewhat stiffly, acutely aware of the fact she wasn't wearing a shirt. She zipped the jacket up.

"Uh, what're you- eh-hem, making? Late lunch?" Temari was surprised by the amount of tact she displayed, given that Ino and Naruto had little to none at all.

"Yes. Are those the documents I gave the Hokage earlier?" She already knew they were. Naruto had left a ring of coffee on one corner that she could plainly see.

Sakura nodded, eyes quickly assessing the situation. Unlike Naruto, it seemed to concern her much more that Temari was a highly-skilled and more experienced kunoichi in her team mate's home. She wondered if she should just tell the other woman that she wasn't having sex with her best friend, but, given the fact she had grabbed his jacket in lieu of her shirt, it might not look too plausible.

"He is washing," Temari said to her. She knew the other woman couldn't just leave those documents for him, especially not with Temari, who made to benefit or not on what they contained. "You will sit?"

"Yes, thank you," She said quickly, and did so. The timer beeped, and Temari pulled the lid off, stirring the noodles up. She liked to add some extra carrot, and Naruto made sure that the seafood-flavoured ones had a little picture of a fish or something on the packaging, and only ate them out on the balcony. Temari hated seafood.

She didn't know what else to say to Sakura, so she said nothing, which was obviously the wrong thing to not say, since the woman was looking more uncomfortable by the second. Temari hated to eat in front of people she didn't know or wasn't fighting beside, so she stirred and waited for her noodles to cool. Sakura asked a few questions; 'how long are you staying?' 'Are your brothers well?' 'How are you finding Konoha by now?', while absolutely avoiding asking why the Hell she was wearing Naruto's jacket in his apartment. Temari was impressed by such polite conversation in the face of such adversary.

Still, the sound of Naruto clattering out of the shower, whistling obnoxiously, rang loudly through the tension in the room. Temari felt a little more relaxed herself when Naruto came in, still wet and dripping and in nothing but a towel. She let him take the chopsticks from her, more than happy to slurp up a large mouthful and even lick the sticks clean. He dumped them back into the container, clearly expecting that Temari would use them (she would), and finally noticed his team-mate.

"Sakura! Whoa, what're you doing here?!" He looked thrilled, and happily began to chatter away at her, wandering out of the room, his voice raising, and then coming back out wearing a singlet and a pair of boxers. Temari, pointedly, took her container at that point and went into his bedroom to eat. She still heard their conversation clearly, since Naruto's shitty apartment had paper-thin walls.

"Man, I haven't seen you since last week! You want some ramen? I only have seafood flavour, though; and we'll have to eat it, like, out on the balcony, 'coz Temari really hates the smell-"

A chair was scraped back. "Naruto, what the Hell! She's like, four years older than us!" Sakura had asked her how old she was during her last visit, in July.

"Nah, only three," Naruto corrected her. "What the Hell? 'What the hell' what? What?" Naruto was rooting around in his cupboards, the doors opening a closing, drawers being pulled out and pushed back in.

"Why is she here? Is she- y'know? Are you seeing her, or something?"

The stove was switched on. Plastic rustled. "No. Why would you think that?"

"She's wearing your jacket."

"She hasn't got any thicker clothes." Water, left over from Temari's cup, was being poured. "She just stays with me when she's here. Why do you care? Do you-?!"

"No, Naruto." Temari remembered her own noodles as she heard the timer being twisted, and levied up a mouthful, finding the temperature agreeable.

Naruto groaned loudly, and then let out an indignant 'oww!' when something flimsy wobbled and snapped. Sakura must have hit him the documents. "Why are you letting her stay here, Naruto?"

"What, was I supposed to say no? I offered! She's Gaara's big sister!"

Sakura sighed, obviously annoyed. "It's suspicious, Naruto."

"You're suspicious!" he sounded outraged. The thought of Temari having ulterior motives, naturally, had never occurred to him. He trusted easily and forgave even easier.

"It's just- are you being safe? Careful?"

"She's not an enemy, Sakura! It's Temari! She's our ally!"

"She's from Suna first."

Naruto slammed a drawer. "Whatever. What's that, anyway?"

Sakura, after a moment, began reluctantly speaking about the documents, lowering her voice. Temari ignored their conversation after that, fairly certain she wouldn't come up again. She stayed in his bedroom as they talked about other things; the son of the White Fang, their cohort. She was somewhat disappointed Ino never came up. She'd been on a mission all through Temari's stay here, and she missed her.

Temari lounged in his bed for two hours as they chatted, watching the scenery outside his bedroom window (that didn't have any curtains and woke her up at the crack of dawn every day). She didn't come up again, as she'd predicted, but she replayed his obvious dislike at her questions, the sound of him slamming the drawer shut. She tried to place it and, finally, decided that it was something like fondness.

The room was bathed in a pinkish hue when Naruto saw his team-mate off at the door. It was a bit darker when he knocked on the door of the bedroom and called out; "Temari, you turned in yet?" Politely asking if she was clothed or not.

"No," She said, and he opened the door. They watched each other for a moment. He broke her stare and came in, walking towards her empty cup.

He picked it up and stood there for a moment. "Sorry about Sakura. She's just doing her job."

"She is the Hokage's apprentice."

He laughed in that 'oh yeah' way she noticed he had. "I mean, looking out for me."

"I see." Naruto had never been so quiet before. It must bother him, knowing his friends still didn't quite trust one another. She didn't like it, so she stood, her forehead reaching his mouth. The famine of Suna in her childhood seemed to dictate that she would never grow tall; though she did have half a head on most women in Konoha. "Look at me."

His gaze left the empty cup in his hands and their eyes met. He had very beautiful eyes. Not even Ino had eyes so blue and so bright. She reached up, slowly, and held onto his ears. He looked somewhat baffled, and she had to laugh, quietly, and his puzzlement melted into a good-humoured smile. Naruto was a man full of good humour. She had to pull him down by his ears and press her laughing mouth to his smile, just for that.