Disclaimer: I do not own The Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit, or any associated characters or concepts. Consider it disclaimed. Quotes in this chapter taken directly from The Hobbit by JRR Tolkien or the Appendices of the Lord of the Rings.

The Arkenstone is burning a hole in her pocket, and Billa Baggins needs answers. "Thorin," she says nervously as he paws relentlessly through piles of gold, "Have you gone mad?" In which Billa Baggins confronts Thorin Oakenshield about the Elves and Men on his kingly doorstep, and won't take no for an answer.

Chapter 4

Billa stared, disbelieving. Fili and Kili were staring too, but Nori was, rather inexpertly, stifling his snickers at her shock.

"Pig," she muttered, stunned. "...Pig."

"Pig," Fili and Kili agreed bemusedly. Nori bent over, still snickering. Balin, as always, had more light to shed on the issue.

"That is a war-sow, specially bred for her calm fortitude in battle as well as her endurance on the road. Dain's quite a breeder of them. He has the best war-pigs in all of dwarf-dom," Balin said.

Fili and Kili were coming out of their stupor now, having heard about the war-pigs of their father's and grandfather's age. They began elbowing each other and whispering delightedly, glancing to the war-sow and back to each other.

Billa whimpered, "Pig!" Her face was pale and her eyes were wide, and Balin stared in concern, for she had clearly gone past shock and straight into fear.

"Billa, lass, are you all right?" he asked gently.

Billa swayed on her feet, and Balin moved closer, stretching out a hand to steady her. Billa swooned a little, leaning quite heavily into his hand. Dwalin stared, and even Thorin gave her an inquiring look.

"Don't like pigs," she managed hoarsely. "Not the- not the big ones. Dangerous," she said squeakily, her breath coming in wild little gasps. "They- stampede! My- I had a friend- she was so little- the pigs just-" she started to sob. "They- just- and her bones were- and the blood!"

Billa descended into tears, and her sobs were punctuated by gasping little whimpers and she clung weakly to Balin who was the nearest dwarf to her. He stared, wide-eyed, at the others but patted her back soothingly, just as she had held him when he wept in front of the visiting Men. He gently guided her away from the path they had cleared by the East Gate, away from Dain's approaching forces, to a nook just around the corner. They were out of sight, but still within the keen hearing of the others.

Balin could hear them murmuring to each other as Billa sniffled onto his shoulder.

"Who would have thought-"

"Tough little lass, facing down wargs but trembling at the sight of-"

"She makes a point, though, fragile little things, hobbits are,"

"-imagine being that little and getting caught beneath those sharp hooves!"

"Sounded like she saw that happen."

"Must've been bad, to make her go white like that."

"Must have. Tough little thing, our hobbit."

"Mmm. Clever too, with her little tea parties and her smuggling."

"And her barrels!"

"And her recipes-," said Fili.

"'Skin them first!'" Kili imitated.

Billa gave a soft huff of laughter at that, and Balin realized that hobbit ears must be just as sharp as dwarf ears.

"Thank you," Billa said quietly, after she'd regained her breath, but Balin knew all the dwarves could all hear her. "It's been a long, terrifying, uncomfortable journey since you showed up at my doorstep," she said, and Balin could almost see the dwarves hunching their shoulders in unison. "But I was dying, there in the Shire, rotting away a little each day. I feel like I've gained a family again, and a purpose. I'm so glad you came to my door that night, and I'm so glad I followed after you the next morning. I just..." she sighed, with a self-deprecating huff of laughter. "Just... don't let the pig get me, okay?" she said.

Balin gave her a hug and then helped her to her feet.

"We can do that, lass," he said, and around the corner there was a chorus of "Aye," "Yes," and "Yes Billa!"

Billa smiled again, wiping away the last of her tears.

"Come now, lass," Balin said. "We can either go to the kitchens and putter around until they're all inside the mountain and the pigs are penned up, or we can go back to the gate and trust in the knowledge that each of the dwarves in this mountain would happily jump between you and danger, even if the danger is only in your head and your memories. What do you say, Billa?" he asked.

Billa let out a long gusting sigh. "You won't let the pigs get me?" she asked again.

"We won't let the pigs get you," Balin confirmed.

"Nor even get near me?" she pressed.

"There will be a dwarf between you and the pigs at every moment," he promised her.

Billa chewed her lip for a moment and mustered her courage.

"I suppose it would be rude not to welcome Dain and his warriors at the gate," she said, and Balin smiled.

"That's the spirit," Balin said, and there were echoing cheers from the dwarves as Balin and Billa walked back around the corner.

Billa started to walk back to where she had been standing, at the side of the gate, but Thorin cut her off with a cough.

"Here, burglar," he said without looking at her, nocking his head to indicate the place next to him. Billa blinked in surprise, but obeyed, although she avoided looking out to where the pig was approaching.

"Thorin?" she questioned as she came to his side.

"Dain will dismount before he comes to greet me, as is proper. His pig will be taken off to the side, where you were standing before. If you want to go back," he groused, staring straight forward, "by all means, do. I'm sure the pig would love to meet you."

"You -chm!- are one of the most confusing persons alive," she told him, coughing over the lump in her throat.

"Oh?" he said, sounding disinterested. Billa narrowed her eyes at him.

"Sometimes I'm not sure if you're a prickly cactus, or a soft, cuddly cotton-ball," she said. An expression of dismay flooded Thorin's face as she voiced her confusion. He raised an eyebrow, seeking enlightenment but still refusing to look to her. "You do the sweetest things sometimes, but it's as if you try to do them in the most disagreeable way possible."

He huffed in disdain. Kili and Fili snickered a little, grinning at Billa in agreement.

"Is it not allowed? To be openly sweet? I mean, I'm quite sure that if Dwalin decided that tomorrow he wanted to go around giving out flowers and singing love poems, no one would dare say him nay. Sure, they'd look and they'd wonder, but no one would dare snicker to his face, because he could smash them with a smile and both hands and a leg tied behind his back. So, even if it is against some dwarfish, masculine code to be sweet, I'm pretty sure you could break it. Let's be honest- after facing down wargs and orc-packs and goblins and- Valar forbid- elven hospitality, and oh, sure, a dragon, I think you can afford to be nice without having to be such a -"

"Burglar," Thorin said cutting her off. He was finally looking at her, eyebrows raised in astonishment, amusement, and warning. "Dain's approaching. Quiet, or I'll feed you to the pig."

Billa huffed grumpily, not amused, and fell quiet. But when Thorin looked forward again, she couldn't help the little smile that tugged at her mouth. No matter how much he protested, she knew the truth. He wasn't a cactus, not anymore. He was definitely a soft, cuddly cotton-ball.