Chapter 1 – Seth's Knee Surgery

Seth awoke for the first time he could remember after the surgery. He had to piss so terribly he thought he was going to wet the bed. It was even worse than the awful pain coming from his repaired right knee. He was also nauseated, yet thirsty, like he had the flu. He honestly felt like he might throw up, and moaned.

"Hey, you're awake!" Dean's voice said, brightly, and he sprang out of a chair Seth hadn't yet noticed. "How are you feeling? Can I get you anything?"

"Trash can, I think I'm going to be sick."

Dean got the trash can there just as Seth began to retch and dry-heave, but that's all it was. Dean was alarmed. "I'll call a nurse." He pressed Seth's call button, and did his best to comfort his lover, who felt cool and clammy. He stroked Seth's hair and rubbed the back of his neck.

Very soon a young, sandy-haired male nurse appeared, smiling kindly. "Good afternoon, Mr. Rollins. I'm Matt, your evening nurse. How are you feeling?"

Seth felt so awful he couldn't do anything but shake his head. Dean had to speak for him. "He's really feeling sick to his stomach, and feels cold and clammy. He tried throwing up, but nothing came up, since he hasn't had anything since last night."

Matt nodded. "Very common way to feel after surgery. A lot of stress on the body, a lot of drugs and anesthesia. I'll get you something for the nausea. Are you having any pain?"

Seth nodded, and cleared his throat. "Yes. It hurts worse now than it did before. I don't think I've ever felt worse overall. On top of what he said, I feel weak, tired, thirsty, and I really need to, well, you know."

Matt lifted the blankets near the end of Seth's bed. "I'll take your catheter out and get you a urinal right away."

"I'll step out for a bit," Dean said, and squeezed Seth's hand affectionately before leaving.

Matt pulled the curtain around Seth's bed. "I'm not going to lie to you and tell you this won't hurt at all, but it won't hurt nearly as much as you think. Just try to relax, and take deep breaths."

Seth tried to follow the nurse's advice, but it still burned when Matt pulled the plumbing from his cock, and helpless tears sprang to his eyes.

"It's okay, it's out now. I'll go and get your meds and and some water so you can have some privacy." Matt positioned a urinal for Seth, who exploded before his nurse could even turn away. As soon as that discomfort was taken care of, the pain in his knee grew exponentially, and he began to cry like he was six years old again.

Matt reappeared, took the urinal away, and handed Seth a box of Kleenex. "Is it the pain?"

Seth nodded and wiped his eyes.

"As soon as I get your vitals, I'll give you something for the pain," Matt assured him.

Seth continued to sniffle while Matt took his temperature, blood pressure, and looked at the monitor and IV lines. Then, he cleaned off a port in the IV line with an alcohol swab, and gave him two injections through it. "You should be feeling a lot better in a few minutes, Mr. Rollins."

Seth wiped away the last of his tears, and blew his nose. "Thank you. And, call me Seth."

"Okay, Seth. Did you want a wet cloth for your face?"

"Yes...That would feel nice." He took a sip of the water Matt had brought, and it didn't unsettle his stomach. His parched mouth chanted relief.

Matt brought him a cool, wet, washcloth from the private bathroom, then busied himself in a computer, putting notes in Seth's chart. Seth washed his face, then folded the cloth over his eyes. He looked horrible when he cried, and even though he had cried a lot worse in Dean's arms not two weeks ago, he didn't want the man he'd fallen in love with to see him looking like shit. He wondered how long Dean had been here; Seth had made it known to his friends and coworkers that he didn't want any visitors, so he hadn't expected to find his lover beside him. But, Seth was really happy he did.

When the nurse was satisfied Seth was feeling somewhat better, he left, and Dean reappeared, pushing a cart laden with flowers, balloons, and gifts. "Lots of well-wishers, babe. I already weeded out the fan stuff and had it sent on to the children's hospital."

"Thank you." Seth smiled, feeling fuzzy from the drugs, and from being with Dean.

Dean gave him a hug. When he pulled away, Seth thought he saw tears in his lover's eyes, happy tears. He turned his attention back to Seth's get well gifts. "Just look at all this stuff! I don't know where to start."

"The flowers," Seth suggested. "Because nothing says 'get well soon' like a dead flower."

"Oh, sweetness, have a heart!" Dean chided playfully. He picked up an arrangement and read the card. "This is from Mark Henry."

Before Seth could reply, there was a knock on his door, and Dr. Shu, his surgeon, came in. Dean excused himself again. Seth hoped he wouldn't come back with yet another cart full of gifts. Dr. Shu told Seth his surgery had gone very well, and he would be using crutches first thing tomorrow, and that he would have been using them tonight if he hadn't had a shot of morphine. Right then, walking on crutches didn't even seem like a remote possibility to Seth.

After Dr. Shu left, Matt came in with an in-room dining menu. "You can order your dinner from here by calling the number on the front, or your friend can bring you whatever you'd like from the outside."

Seth thanked him, and Dean came back as Seth was looking at the menu. He knew he should eat, he hadn't since dinner last night, but he wasn't hungry.

"Did you want me to get you some takeout?" Dean asked, and sat down in the chair beside Seth's bed.

"I'm not hungry." Seth set the menu on his table.

"You need to eat something, though. Dude wouldn't have brought that to you if they didn't want you to eat something."

"True," Seth sighed. He tried picking the menu back up, but drugged, he could not.

Dean picked it up instead. "Wow, they've got practically everything!" What are you in the mood for? If it's not on here, I'll go get it."

"No, honey, you don't have to do that. I just want something small."

"Soup and a sandwich?" Dean asked.

"Yeah, that sounds good. Tomato and grilled cheese."

Dean searched the menu. "They've got it!" He exclaimed triumphantly. "Comfort food. I'll get the same."

"Will you call the number on the front?" Seth asked. "My brain isn't..."

"I've got it handled." Dean picked up the room phone. He ordered their trays, adding milk, coffee, and chocolate cake to the agreed upon tomato soup and grilled cheese, but Seth didn't object, it sounded good.

"They should be up in forty-five minutes or less," Dean told him, after hanging up the phone.

"I hope it's less," Seth said. "I wasn't hungry before, but now I'm so hungry I feel sick all over again."

Dean jumped up and went to the cart of gifts. "There's food in here. Lots of candy, a tin of giant cashews from...Neville... Team Bella sent you four gourmet cupcakes... And Roman sent you this ridiculous chicken-shaped mug, and good old Mrs. Grass."

Seth giggled at the ugly mug. "Let's try the cashews."

Dean opened the decorative tin, and plastic bag within, and extended the tin to Seth while munching one. "These are awesome!"

Doped-up Seth nearly upset the tin, so Dean fed him one. As Dean had said, it was awesome. Dean continued to feed him, and Seth started to feel better than he had all day. He caught Dean's hand and kissed the salt and oil from his fingers. "Thank you, honey. I know I said I didn't want anyone here, but I'm really, really happy you're here. I don't know what I'd do if you weren't here."

Dean snugged and kissed him. "I'll always be here for you. Do you want some more water?"

Seth nodded, and Dean handed him the styrofoam cup. "Thank you."

"Want to look at more gifts?"

"No, actually."

"How about a social media update? I did call the boss, let him know your surgery went well, so I'm sure WWE will issue a statement, but you should really do a tweet or something."

"Yeah, I guess I kind of have to. Can you help me?"

"Of course."

Just as Dean finished posting updates as Seth, there was a knock at the door, and Matt came in with a young, plump, redheaded nurse's aide. Both of them were carrying dinner trays. "Soup's on, guys," Matt said, and put Seth's tray on his bed table. "This is Rochelle, one of our certified nursing assistants."

Rochelle handed Dean his tray, and turned her attention to the patient. "Hi, Seth, I'll be your CNA until eleven tonight. Is there anything I can get for you right now?"

"More water, please." He also wanted to piss before dinner, but didn't want to tell her, or any other female for that matter.

"Okay, I'll be right back," Rochelle replied, and left.

Matt began pulling the bed table across Seth's lap. "Wait." Seth blushed. "I want to piss, I mean pee, first."

"I'll get your urinal."

"I'll be right back," Dean said, and stepped out. Matt drew the curtain around Seth's bed again and handed Seth the necessary. Embarrassed, Seth slipped it under the covers.

He found he couldn't piss, despite all of his efforts, his body just seemed to have forgotten how. "I can't go," he admitted to Matt.

"That happens sometimes with pain medication, especially morphine," Matt explained. "Do you really need to go bad?"

"Well, no, I'm just a little uncomfortable, nothing major."

"Okay. Why don't you have dinner, and some water, and I'll come check on you in an hour. Of course, if you need me before then, you can call me. Sound good?"

"Yeah, that's cool. Um...what if I still can't go?"

"Don't worry, I'm sure you'll be able to, once the morphine wears off. We'll give you a different pain medication next time."

"How long before it wears off?"

"Hours yet, but with a full bladder you should be able to go before then," Matt assured him as he pulled the bed table across Seth's legs. Rochelle reappeared with water and left with Matt.

Dean came back in. "You okay?"

"I couldn't piss." Seth drank some water. "The nurse said it was because of the morphine, so they're going to change my pain meds, but I might not be able to piss until it wears off unless-"

"Eat, sweetness," Dean gently interrupted. "Oddly enough, this is really good! Hospital food has gotten a lot better since I was fifteen. That's the last time I was in a hospital."

Seth began to eat. "What for?"

"BMX stunt gone wrong. I landed on my face, and my friend was filming it, so the whole thing was caught on tape. We tried to send it in to AFV, but they rejected it on the grounds that it was too gory. I won't go into detail, but I looked like I'd been hit by a bus."

"Damn," Seth mused. He glanced at his IV drip of saline. It was dripping slowly. He sighed.

Dean put down his sandwich and took Seth's hands instead. "What's wrong babe? Can I get you anything?"

Seth shook his head. He felt so helpless, and hated himself for it. He wanted to cry again, and hated himself for that, too. Dean sensed his distress, and hugged him tight. Seth winced.

"Oops, sorry. Forgot you needed to pee." Dean loosened his hold.

"No, I don't. I just want to, but I can't. I'm so...uncomfortable."

"Do you want me to get your nurse?"

"No, honey, he said he'd come check on me in an hour. And, I probably won't even be able to piss then... Fuck, I hate this!"

Dean rubbed his shoulders. "Shhh, sweetness. Just relax; stressing out will only slow your recovery."

"I feel like...like I've... Oh, I don't know... I was on top of the world. And I know I've only been here for a day, and I wrecked my knee only a few days ago, but it feels like forever... And the belt, the glory, the glamour, the acme all seems like it happened decades ago. Even the rape feels like it happened in another era." Seth had never felt more depressed. He slumped in bed. "And, a year's recovery! That may as well be forever!"

"It's not a year, it's nine months, babe, tops. And, knowing you, you'll be back in the ring before then."

"Forever," Seth repeated. "I can't believe this happened to me. All of it."

All Dean could do was hug and pat him. Roman, with his recent injury, surgery, and recovery would know best what to say, and Dean made a mental note to text him the next time he stepped out. "Let's focus on right now," Dean tried, and handed Seth the box of Kleenex.

Seth hadn't realized he was crying again until then.

"Come on, dinner is getting cold," Dean coaxed, and Seth resumed eating, feeling detached from himself, Dean his only port in the storm of negative emotions, a save haven, and Seth was so grateful Dean was at his side. That was love. Dean didn't need to say the words, and neither did he. They could both feel it.

When Matt came back, Seth was more than ready to piss. Dean excused himself again, already busy in his phone texting Roman for help. Despite having to piss so badly he was in pain, Seth was unable to, once again. Matt tried to help him by running water, putting his hands in warm water, and even pressing on his visibly bulging bladder, like his owners sometimes did, but nothing worked, and Seth was a mess of frustrated tears and angry curse words.

Matt suggested a break, and there was a knock on the door. Matt went to answer it. "Do you want your friend to come in? He seems pretty concerned. And, he's brought coffee."

Seth nodded, and Matt waved Dean inside. Dean was carrying a drink tray with three large coffees in it. He handed one to Matt, put one on Seth's bed table, and kept the last for himself. "You should drink your coffee," Dean told Seth. "It's the worst thing for your bladder; at least that's what I heard."

"You heard right," Matt said. "Drink up, Seth."

Seth refused. "Hell no. I'm not putting any more piss in my bladder...Grrrr...I want the piss out NOW!"

"Maybe another position might help. Let's get you sitting up, on the edge of the bed." Matt suggested.

Automatically, Dean set down his coffee and came to help. Seth was crying again. He wondered if he had the courage to just ask for the catheter. Seth was a perched cripple; Dean holding him around the waist from behind, nurse supporting him in front. He was humiliated, and cursed again.

"Shhh..." Dean whispered in his ear. "I'm here for you, my love. Everything's going to be okay. Now just relax... Oh my gosh, Seth, I can actually feel your bladder."

"So can I," Seth sobbed. He heard Matt tell Dean to do something, and suddenly, Dean squeezed Seth tight, pressing his laced-together hands into Seth's bladder. The discomfort was too much to bear, and his body finally gave in. Piss splashed noisily into the bedpan the nurse held.

"That's it, Seth, just keep peeing. Dean, you can stop pressing on him, but hold on to him."

Seth was finally pissing on his own. It had never felt better to do so. He was growing shaky, and tired from the relief. He sniffled. Dean snugged him. "Everything is fine, sweetness, don't cry," he whispered. But, Seth couldn't help it. He was exhausted, not only physically, but also mentally, which was weighing harder on him. He just wanted to go to sleep and wake up a week ago.

When Seth finally finished pissing, Matt and Dean settled him back into bed. Matt took his vitals, Dean coaxed him into having some coffee. Matt brought him another cold cloth for his face and asked him if he needed anything else. Seth shook his head, and Matt left, promising to check up on him in a couple hours.

Dean giggled. "I'll bet you feel better after that. Matt said that was three times as much as the average guy could hold."

Seth nodded. "Yeah, that was a lot of piss. I still ache from it. Thank you for helping me get it out."

Dean smiled, and they shared a kiss. "I couldn't bear to see you in pain."

"Come here." Seth patted the bed, and Dean climbed in beside him. They held each other, Seth affectionately stroked Dean's hair, and Dean sighed happily. "You have no idea how worried I was when you were under the knife," he confessed.

"You have no idea how happy I am that you disobeyed my no visitors rule," Seth responded. "I'm so happy you're here with me, helping me out."

"I want to help you once you're back home, too. With cooking, and laundry, driving, you know, stuff like that," Dean said, nervously, and Seth was surprised, and pleased, to see him blushing. "I mean, I won't be able to be there when I'm working, but I want to be there for you as much as I can. I...I love you, Seth."

"Yes," Seth said, happily. "I'd love that. And I love you, too."