.

.

Our Fears

.

.

On a night like this where superheroes were making their rounds on rooftops and hitting pavements chasing bad dreams away, Chloe Bourgeois sat atop the highest floor in the penthouse of the grandest hotel in all the city, staring at the brown teddy bear on her bed while she brushed her hair out. Her mother had given her that bear after working with a designer for kid toys claiming that 'vintage was so in' at that time with a huge red bow tied neatly around its neck curtsied of her butler, Jean Duparc. She turned back to face the vanity mirror setting the brush down to finish up the post-shower routine by running her hands through the rest of her golden tresses with a coconut infused serum.

Since she was 8 years old he's been employed under the meticulous eye of her father to be her caretaker and head butler of the Grande Bourgeois Hotel. He was a diligent man, obedient to a fault, and like a silent watchdog who's been by her side for over 9 years despite being only 29 himself; has seen every temper tantrum she threw, carried all her bags for every needless shopping spree she did, spent an endless amount of research on the female anatomy and bought all the feminine products she needed as she went through her first stages of adolescence without a hint of embarrassment, and lastly, was probably the only vampire she liked in her life. A self-centered girl like herself has never stopped to wonder about the lives of the people around her, until one day when she needed her butler to drive her to the Chanel store she overheard her father talking in the lobby:

"Looks like your fangs are starting to show again, Jean. It's about time you went to the dentist."

It was laughable, really, that after everything her father still chose to hire him despite her feelings and her poor father's broken heart. It was unheard of, but not that uncommon for vampires to grind their fangs down until they were perfectly squared, though a somewhat painful and annoying maintenance to keep up. Whether he was trying to blend in with society more or because her father made him do it to hide it from her - she didn't know.

She reached for her Esmé Gigi creme next to put underneath her eyes, applying rose tint moisturizer on her lips next, and finally patting her face down with rosehip seed oil.

Chloe Bourgeois would not be thinking so deeply about this late at night if not for her childhood friend and only confidant she told the secret to: Adrien. His compassion and chivalry towards anyone and everyone always bothered her because not everyone deserved it. He expected her to change to be more like him – charitable and weak-minding – but that wasn't who she was. He could toss away years of friendship for over a girl like Marinette if he that's what he wanted – no, how he acted, anyways, but she was so over it.

She left the vanity to reach her queen bed taking the teddy bear in one hand and pressed the servant button on the wall next to it, lighting up and chiming 3 times like a doorbell to ring for Jean. The young heiress sat atop her bed against the plush pillows with the bear in her lap mindlessly picking at the bow. Adrien had sent her a bouquet of red roses once for her birthday when he was in Milan, she was so happy for it that she kept the satin ribbon tying the roses together and though she tried, the bow only came out lopsided on her brown bear.

The door to the penthouse floor was opened quietly, followed by light footsteps that echoed on marble when walked in a spacious room until it stopped at the room with the only current resident behind the closed door. Jean Duparc raised his white hand glove in a fist and, ever so gently, knocked thrice:

Tap, tap, tap

"Come in," she granted.

"How may I help you, mademoiselle Bourgeois?" He stood tall and rooted at his spot by the door to keep a respectful distance, making eye contact once before averting his eyes to the floor.

She tossed him her teddy bear and with an almost unnatural reflex he caught the toy gracefully, despite her terrible aim that would've landed it in the trashcan and settled the bear in a sitting position on his open right hand. He looked up with a curious gaze, waiting for her orders.

"Get rid of it, I don't care how – burn it, throw it away in dumpster, or donate it. I'm tired of staring at it," she said with an air of haughtiness and a dash of spite.

He hesitated momentarily before speaking, "Mademoiselle, but your mother gave you this. You've had it with you since you were a little girl, monsieur Agreste had also given you the accessary around its neck. I implore you to reconsider, please." The worn, but well-loved teddy bear had been through every 'tragedy' that Chloe deemed horrendous in her life yet was also the first person to find out all her secrets to. Above all else, it gave her the comfort she needed when her father was running the hotel or the city too busy to raise his daughter, and eventually, replaced the warmth of her mother's arms who would no longer hold her. Jean made sure to stitch every tear neatly when she tugged too hard, washed very carefully whenever she got food on it, and preserved its everlasting floral smell by rubbing fresh roses on it.

She folded her arms over chest as if she was hugging herself, scoffing slightly, "Yeah, well, she left me and dad for a vampire," she frowned saying the next words, "and so did Adrien. It's as good as dead to me. I'm simply moving on. Getting rid of anything that doesn't spark joy in my life anymore."

"Mr. Cuddly would be deeply sad if you did that though." He couldn't offer any response to her as he couldn't relate to her troubles, so he simply raised the bear's stubby arm in a slight wave to try and convince her.

She bunched a fist full of bed sheets, narrowing her icy eyes at him, and all but yelled "It's just a bear! Made by a dumb toy maker who couldn't keep his hands off a married woman. Given to me by a dumb mother who left everything for a vampire. And a dumb childhood friend who also ditched me for a vampire. No matter how many times I kept trying to destroy or get rid of it, you always give it back to me as if nothing ever happened! Get rid of it, Jack, no, Jerry, Jacque – whoever you are, I don't care."

They both knew she knew his name, but whenever she was angry or liked to play games on him, she would do this to irk him. Except, he never got angry nor annoyed. Jean simply felt sorry for the girl who sat all alone before him, if not guilty when he couldn't help it.

"If I may be so bold, I cannot grant your request, mademoiselle Bourgeois. Whenever you need Mr. Cuddly again, he will be here for you."

She got up from her bed and took angry strides towards him, mouth curled in anger getting ready to do what she does best: "Ridiculous! This is utterly ridiculous! And you know what? I don't need you in my life either: You're. Fired." She spoke every word as if daggers were being thrown and snatched the teddy bear from his hand letting out a dry laugh, "You think you can just tell me what to do just because you're my babysitter? You think I don't know about you, too?" She paused as her intense blue eyes stared darkly into his, "You're just a dumb vampire servant who thought you could fool me in what you really are." She raised her perfectly manicured hand and tossed the bear over his shoulder into the darkness.

Chloe took one step towards him. He took one step back, and then she pounced. Leaning forward she spoke one, ugly, harsh word:

"Monster."

The door slammed hard in his face leaving him alone in the dark before he could even register what happened. Walking numbly, he suddenly felt he lost all purpose in life and wasn't sure how to feel. The despondent vampire simply picked up the bear strewn in a potted plant nearby and quietly left the penthouse floor of the grandest hotel in all the city.

When the strides of daily life have settled, and Chloe Bourgeois thinks too deeply on a night like this, she knows that it's because of Adrien. He expects her to be more like him, but she knew exactly who she was.

She was made of fire and poison with the temper of a dragon and an infamous reputation to carry. For God's sake, she was called The Evil Queen behind hushed whispers and brave insults.

And she can't help it. She knows now that Adrien will never understand her, and that she just drove away her closest family member. With that sudden thought the anger washes away as her knees fold close to her chest and all she's left with is this memory that feels all too real and painful:

"My foolish daughter; what you're feeling right now is called remorse. It's the worst feeling in the world for girls like us. It makes you want to change."

A/N: I'm so sorry this is short and not what you're expecting. I've been ghosting this story for well over 2 years and I truly apologize as life gets in the way, and before you know it you're post-college trying to figure out how to Adult. Even when I was gone, I still got follows, faves, and reviews - I cannot tell you how much that meant to me and how much it inspired me to try to come back and finish this story. I really wanted to finish it in this one chapter, but as I barely started the next scene and this has been sitting in my computer for the past 2-3 months, I thought, better than nothing right? Instead of trying to force myself to write 10k+ it might be easier on me if I post around ~1-2k words a ch instead. Would people prefer that? Or would they prefer next ch be the last ch? Although I can't guarantee when that'll be. I'm not in the same place as I was 2-3 years ago writing this alone in my dorm room late at night, so my memories of how I think the story should go has changed a lot and obviously how I write now. This story is close to me as it's always been a self, over-indulgent fanfic of their romance that I cannot but realize every time I reread this fic.

.

.

Thank you for every one who has reviewed, they've truly brightened up my day when I see it pop up in my dead email :)