Written for akadienne

"Seamus."

The pub was all dark woods and golden light. Lamps hung above polished surfaces with green glass for screens, and the crisp sounds from the pool table in the back mixed with the chatter from the few tables that were actually occupied.

A smell of chips and beer permeated the air.

Dean made his way towards the lone figure sitting in a booth beside the bar. Seamus, he saw as he approached, was nursing a beer and a frown; it made Dean feel as if he was already losing a struggle.

For weeks now, Seamus had talked about leaving the magical world. Dean hadn't understood, even when Seamus started talking about loss, because they had finally won, but Seamus was adamant, and this, he'd declared, would be his goodbye party.

"Not much of a party, huh, mate?"

Seamus hardly looked up as Dean greeted him. Furrowing his brows further, he did however get up, a hand over his mouth. Dean took it as an indication that he was offered the seat next to his friend ( - but he was more than that; when you would give your life for someone, that was love - ) and dutifully complied.

Dean followed him down, settling back into his seat.

"I can't believe you're doing this," Dean said at the exact moment Seamus said, "I can't believe I'm doing this."

They looked at each other─Dean giving a knowing smile, Seamus as if he was merely hiding his face from the strangers around them as it broke into a million pieces. Dean felt his heart shatter, and he wanted to reach out, but something kept him from it.

"Seamus."

Both Seamus and Dean looked up, then stood up at the same time to greet Harry and Ron. Dean hadn't known they were coming, but it seemed natural, and Seamus didn't tell him much these days anyway. Seamus shook hands with Harry and nodded to Ron, who repeated the gesture back.

All four of them sat down.

"So, when are you off?" Harry asked, and Dean looked at Seamus too, trying to gauge his feelings.

"In an hour or so."

"Bloody hell," Ron said.

"Yeah," Seamus replied wistfully.

"Seriously, how can the two of you be so calm about this?" Dean asked angrily, his fist colliding with the table's surface.

The other three jumped slightly at the sound, and Harry said good-humouredly, "Seems to me that's sign enough that you should think this over."

Dean, though appreciative of his try, thought Harry was being a little too lenient with Seamus.

"No." Seamus shook his head in reply, "It's time I go back to where I come from. At least my family will be there."

A family entered the pub, two kids running after each other and a third on the arm of the father. The row caused all four of them to look towards the entrance, but Dean wasn't satisfied letting Seamus off the hook so easily. "Like that will solve anything."

Ron and Harry turned back to face them.

"Yeah, mate. I mean, family, I get it, but it's not like there won't be any wizards or witches where you're from, is it? Why'd you want that anyway? It's not like-"

"Wizards and witches killed the one person I truly cared about?" Seamus interrupted bitterly.

Harry and Ron looked at each other and away from Seamus, Harry's eyes coming to rest on Dean for a short while. Dean, eyes wide, said, "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Seamus waved his hand in a gesture of dismissal, saying, "Forget it," and downing his beer.

"No, I will bloody well not forget it! Who are you talking about?" Dean took a couple of breaths before continuing, more softly now, "I know we lost a lot of friends in the war, Seamus, but I thought─well, at least, we have each other, man."

Inhaling sharply at the promise of losing his best friend, of not being reason enough to stay, Dean turned around, looking at the wall. In a moment of frustration, he hit the table again.

The others jumped.

"Oh, come off it, it's not like you didn't know that was going to happen!" Dean said aggressively, tears in his eyes.

"Seamus," said Harry in a conciliatory voice and deciding to ignore Dean's little outburst, "Are you sure you want to do this is all we're asking."

Dean, previously fuming, felt thankful for the time to cool off and sat, huffing slightly, but slowly calming down.

"I do," Seamus said, looking down at his unfinished beer.

"You don't understand, Harry. And Ron─I'm so sorry about Fred, I really am, but it's not the same. He didn't get up," Seamus' eyes was filling with tears, "and I did. I got up. Someone, somewhere, decided that it was time for him, and that I got to go on, living with outliving him. I mean, you have Ginny and Hermione, and yes, we've lost friends, but that's not the same. He─he was my reason for living, for even staying in this mess of a society. And I give. I give up. I'm going to miss you guys, but not the way I miss him."

Beside him, Dean was sitting with a confused look on his face and tears in his eyes. "Aren't I enough?"

Reaching out, Dean tried patting Seamus on the shoulder─tried to elicit some kind of response─but his hand went straight through Seamus. Downing his beer, Seamus started putting on a jacket and rising from his seat, while Dean looked at his hand in horror.

"I'm gonna go and -" Seamus said, choking on the last word. Harry and Ron looked at each other sadly, "- swing by Dean's grave first."