Written for: hd owlpost
Summary: Draco has the perfect plan to get revenge on all his classmates their last year at Hogwarts, until they exclude him from participating in the Christmas charity event. He should have expected it. It's what they always do. When he thinks the situation can't get worse, Harry Potter shows up at his door.
Rating: PG-13
Contains: Hogwarts High, Non-Magical AU, Suicide attempt
Notes: My knowledge of England is very limited, so if what I'm imagining in the story sounds too American it's because I'm too American. Thanks to C, L, and T for looking through this for me on such short notice and so quickly. Y'all are the best.

1997

Harry knocked on Draco's front door hoping he was awake. He'd break in if he had to, but he really didn't want the situation to get that desperate. He could picture the conversation with the police officer.

'Sorry, sir. I wasn't trying to steal anything, but I just had to talk to my friend to make sure I knew whether or not I could start telling people he was by boyfriend. It is of the utmost importance you see. How could I possibly go through school all day not knowing?'

Yeah, that wouldn't go over well.

A moment later the door opened, but it wasn't Draco; it was his mother.

Harry gave an awkward smile. 'Is Draco here? He wasn't at school and I was worried about him.'

'Oh, how sweet.' Mrs Malfoy opened the door wider and gestured for Harry to come in. 'He said he wasn't feeling well, but he doesn't have a temperature. You can go up and see him if you like.'

'Thanks,' Harry said, grateful she didn't ask why Harry wasn't still at school himself. He certainly could have simply waited until after school to check on his sick friend. While he was on the stairs heading up to Draco's room, Mrs Malfoy stopped him. Harry winced sure the third degree would start.

'Harry,' she said. 'I was just about to head out to do some shopping. Is there anything you need?'

Harry laughed and shook his head. 'No, thanks.'

'Alright, then. I'll see you boys later.'

Once the door closed behind her, Harry ran up the stairs calling Draco's name. Harry imagined that Mrs Malfoy probably spent a lot of time when she went out shopping.

Draco wasn't in his bed or anywhere in his room that Harry saw, so Harry called his name a few more times. He checked the closet and then went to knock on the bathroom door. It was the only other place that made sense if Draco were at home at all.

When no sound came from the bathroom, Harry tried to open the door.

It was locked.

That's when Harry started to panic.

'Draco!' Harry banged on the door louder and then he thought he heard a groan. Harry slammed his shoulder against the door near the lock. 'Draco, open the door.' When he heard nothing in response, Harry slammed his shoulder into the door again and again until it started to break free.

After a couple more hits, Harry made it into the bathroom and found Draco lying on the floor.

There was a mixture of blood and pills surrounding him.

'Draco.'

Harry ran to him and tried to get him to open his eyes. 'Draco, look at me,' he said as he slapped his face. Checking his wrists, they weren't bleeding fast and it was clear to Harry that the more and present danger were the pills.

Harry ran out of the bathroom and down the stairs to the phone and called an ambulance. Once they were on their way, Harry ran back to Draco's side and lifted his head into Harry's lap, talking to him, trying to get him to wake up.

It was mostly nonsensical comfort.

'I'm here. I've got you. Help is coming.' Short and repeated over and over again as much for Harry's peace of mind as Draco's. 'I'm not leaving. I'm not leaving you anymore.'

Harry was pretty sure he'd never leave Draco's side ever again.

1995

The day Draco said he didn't think Harry's friendship was worth it, Harry went to the nurse during lunch and his mother came and picked him up.

In his room, when he was alone again, he didn't try to stop the tears from coming.

He didn't rationalise the situation to explain to himself why everyone had done what they'd done. That they all cared about Harry and were only trying to do the best for him. That they didn't mean to hurt Draco and by extension hurt Harry. He just let himself be angry at everyone for a little while.

Angry that they got in the middle of something they didn't understand. Angry at himself for not telling them the truth and angry at himself for letting everyone get their way.

But mostly, Harry let himself be angry at Draco.

Which was something he'd never done before.

For knowing that Harry wanted him and walking away, for not standing up for himself ever, and for expecting Harry to be the one to fix everything all the time.

If Draco didn't want to be his friend, then so be it.

Harry had plenty of friends. There would be other boys that made Harry's heart skip like Draco did. But right then he was going to mourn him. He would mourn him like his first pet fish after it died. And once he was done mourning him, he went downstairs to eat sweets with his mother.

'You're not sick,' she said, matter of factly.

Harry shook his head.

'Mind tell me what happened today, love?'

He didn't want to talk about Draco. He'd just finished getting him out of his system and didn't want to drag all the feelings out again. But he did have something he needed to tell his parents, and it was time to quit putting it off.

'I think I'm gay.'

1997

Since Harry wasn't family, he couldn't stay with Draco at the hospital. He'd left a note for Draco's mother at the house and she'd shown up a couple hours after they'd arrived. She had to fill out paperwork which kept her busy and from asking questions at first but, eventually, it was just the two of them. Waiting.

'Why would he do this?' she asked to no one in particular.

Harry had been asking himself that for a while by then and he'd come up with a lot of answers that she wouldn't like. But he wasn't going to let all of Draco's secrets go. It was Draco's choice what he wanted to tell his mother.

'I don't know,' Harry said, because it was the truth.

Still Harry had learned a lot about Draco in the last few days.

And most of the things he learned weren't particularly happy.

Harry sat with Mrs Malfoy until they took her to see Draco.

Harry stayed at the hospital until they allowed him to visit Draco. It was after a therapist came to talk to him. He wondered what they said to Draco to convince him to let Harry in the room. Or maybe Draco wanted to see him. Harry hoped it was that.

The first thing Draco said was, 'My apologies.'

Then he looked about to cry so Harry rushed to take his hand.

'I'm here,' Harry said.

'I see that.' And then Draco almost laughed. After a moment of just staring at Harry, he asked, 'Why are you?'

'Because I want to be here with you; I want to be here for you.'

Then Draco was crying and Harry lost himself because he kissed Draco right in front of his mother.

She cleared her throat and Harry quickly pulled back.

'I'll give you some time alone.'

She wasn't supposed to do that and Harry smiled at her grateful for her bending the rules for as long as she could before the hospital staff intervened.

'I'm so sorry.'

'Don't,' Draco groaned. 'I did not do this to try and guilt trip you.'

Draco's hand still felt dead in Harry's. Harry brought it to his mouth and kissed it and then pressed it against his face. Draco was alive but still very much in pain.

'You don't have to be here.'

'I want to be here, Draco. I've wanted to for a very long time and that's what I'm sorry for. I should have fought harder for you. I just—Did it ever occur to you that I was just as insecure as you were? I thought I knew where we stood and you just close down and disappear, and then I'd second guess myself.'

'You don't seem very insecure to me.'

Harry rolled his eyes. 'Well, I've grown up a bit over the years and I've had a lot of help with that. I'm not insecure anymore. Except around you.'

Draco looked away and Harry knew he'd said something wrong again.

'I don't want to hurt you.'

'You're not—'

'Your father told me I was hurting you.'

Harry lost his breath. So that was the thing that had happened? It must have been. Harry could only imagine what all his father could have told Draco to make him think that he was hurting Harry.

'You leaving is what hurt me, Draco.' Harry let go of his hand to try and brush some of Draco's hair away from his face but Draco shifted away before Harry could make contact. 'It wasn't you being there, but you pushing me away, you disappearing on me. That's what hurt me. How was you leaving for good supposed to make that better?'

Draco stared into Harry's eyes. 'You seemed a lot better without me around.'

'Looks can be deceiving.'

They were quiet as Draco searched Harry's expression for something. After a few minutes he shook his head and looked away from Harry.

'I'm sorry. I'm not sure if I can trust you. I can't be sure if you really want this or if you just feel guilty.'

1996

Harry never ran into Draco outside of school. That's why seeing him at the little pub everyone hung out in was so surprising.

Well, "at" was probably the wrong word.

Draco was outside of it with a couple of girls as Harry, Ron, Hermione and Neville made their way to the door.

Harry nodded to Draco and said, 'Hey.'

Draco's eyes went wide, but he didn't respond. The taller of the two girls did instead.

'Hello, gorgeous, I'm Daphne.' She glanced at Draco. 'Are these some of your friends from school?'

Ron snorted at that, but Draco turned his back to them and spoke to the other girl. 'Here's the place and you know how to get back.' Then he walked away without another word to anyone else.

'Draco!' Harry called but Daphne covered it up with her own shouting of, 'Prick!' Then she turned and smiled at Harry while the girl next to her blushed. 'It would have been an odd number with him anyway. This quiet girl here is Pansy. She isn't usually so quiet, but I think your tall friend here has left her speechless.'

Daphne had nodded to Neville who turned red at the comment, but Harry could tell from the way he was glancing at Pansy he was interested as well.

Harry sighed. Daphne seemed like a nice girl and she was certainly pretty. Hopefully, she'd see that Ron would be more interested in her before long and Hermione and Harry could go back to their being the odd ones out again. Hermione was still the only person Harry had come out to. So many people thought they were dating and, bless her, she never corrected them.

Everyone filtered through the door and Harry waited to be the last as he watched Draco's retreating back.

At the table, it didn't take long for Daphne to turn her attention to Ron. Harry wasn't giving her anything. They found out that Daphne and Pansy were daughters of some of Draco's mother's friends. They'd hoped to be able to come mingle with some state school kids which Harry and Hermione rolled their eyes about, but Ron was more than happy to help them with.

Neville was too busy blushing to say much.

They weren't friends of Draco's either and listening to Daphne and Ron talk about him was giving Harry an ulcer.

Finally, Hermione pulled Harry away.

'You need to go talk to him.'

'I have no idea where he is.'

Hermione bit her lip and looked away. 'I might know.'

'Really?'

Maybe it was because it still kind of hurt that Draco had told Harry he wasn't worth it. Or maybe it was the thoughts running through Harry's head about what it meant that Draco was hiding in the library when Harry was pretty sure he was supposed to be hanging out with his mother's friends' daughters at the pub.

It was simply that he knew Draco would attack him if he approached him then, so he sat across the library and tried not to be too noticeable with his staring.

But he didn't walk across it and he didn't have the talk that Hermione was urging him to.

Was it horribly selfish that he wanted Draco to come to him?

1998

Draco was gone for a month after his visit in the hospital.

Considering everything, and that his mother wanted him to have the best care, it wasn't that long. The doctors felt he didn't need to be locked away and that it would be good for his mental health to return home.

Harry knew of this because Draco's mother kept him informed as Draco's boyfriend.

She was, well, difficult to convince that wasn't true. Either way, in her mind, Harry was Draco's best friend and had been since they were eleven.

He was also informed, and invited over, the moment Draco returned home.

And for once, Harry had a present for Draco.

Harry sat on Draco's bed with the Burberrys backpack next him when Draco came into the room.

Draco looked much better than he had when Harry last saw him, but he wasn't smiling.

'That tricky witch,' Draco said.

Harry smiled. 'I have something for you.' He pat the bed next to himself. 'But first, I'm going to open my presents.' Harry opened the backpack.

'You're using it?'

Harry shrugged.

'What'd your dad say?'

'We had a fight about it in which I told him that I don't give a fuck what he says and that I love you and I wasn't going to let him push you away from me anymore.' Harry was staring at his hands during that last part but then looked up to see Draco's reaction. 'I love you. And I know you love me, so don't even fight with me about it. Your mum thinks we've been dating for a while. I don't plan on telling her otherwise. Unless you decide to set her straight on that, then it looks like we're boyfriends now.'

Harry couldn't stop himself from smirking at that because no matter how hard Draco fought it he was beginning to smile.

'Come sit down and let me open my presents so that you can open yours.'

Harry laughed at the cards and dice set, and said, 'I'll take them with me where I go.' The rest were amazing seats at concerts or ball games that Harry would have loved to attend.

'I didn't go to the Christmas concert. I didn't want to go without you.' Harry cut off Draco before he said something stupid. 'I figured there will be plenty other concerts and football games we could go to once you came home.'

Draco quietly took Harry's hand and brought it to his mouth, kissing it. Harry pulled Draco to him and gave him a light kiss.

'Don't get too carried away, I actually do want you to open your gift.'

'Okay?'

Harry handed Draco a thick envelope. It was full of pictures of the Christmas party after the fundraiser. Draco looked up at Harry confused but then continued to look through all the pictures.

'Was it a shitty party?' Draco shook his head. 'Everyone looks irritated. So I guess your team won. Wait—'

Harry smirked as Draco looked back and forth between Harry and the pictures.

'Hannah and Theo weren't on your team.'

'You see, you left a lot of stuff in your living room that your mother didn't know quite what to do with. And Hermione was on the charity committee and felt that it would be unfair to give it all to one team and have them win.'

'So?'

'Some people thought that it would add to the competition to give the losing team a handicap advantage, but she didn't feel that was fair. Really the only fair thing to do was to make all the teams even . . . so no one won. Everyone got to go to the party but, well, some people were rather bitter about it.'

Draco smiled down at a picture of Ron and Hermione.

'Hermione seems pleased with herself.'

'Well, Hermione enjoys getting under Ron's skin, so—she's rather grateful to you right now.'

Harry waited for a beat. 'Are you pleased?'

'Did you know that's what I was planning?'

'It made sense after we thought about it.' Harry shrugged. 'It's just a party. If they're bitter about it, then it's on them. They should be happy everyone got to go no matter the circumstances.'

Draco pulled Harry into a kiss and then pressed his forehead against Harry's. 'I don't have a choice in this boyfriend thing, do I?'

Jokingly Harry said, 'No.'

But after a moment, he sighed and said, 'Yes. I can't force you to date me.'

'Harry, how can you not tell how hopelessly in love with you I am?'

Smiling, Harry asked, 'How could you not tell how hopelessly in love with you I am?'