Nothing But Time to Think

Naruhodo clutched the door handle and it was cold. It reminded him of what was real as what was real could be touched. Salt lingered on his tongue and he came into his apartment. He went to the kitchen and poured himself a drink. It was going to be a long night and he had nothing but time to think.

He sat down and the chair squeaked underneath his weight. He hadn't turned on any lights but that was fine. The darkness would breed thoughts he wouldn't usually harbour. It was a simple moment but because of that moment, Naruhodo had gone from sceptical to a believer. He had experienced a supernatural phenomenon he couldn't explain. He was an idealist but he was silly. Yet now, he was willing to accept many, magical things that he once rejected.

The idea having a fated person wasn't unbelievable towards him but the idea of said fated person's most important words on your wrist was strange. It was implausible and bizarre. But now, Naruhodo was willing to accept the possibility that magic was real. After all, thanks to her little sister, Chihiro had managed to contact him from the other side. That was a whole host of other illogical things that he didn't quite want to think about right now. He was lenient towards the idea of nothingness after death.

Naruhodo took a deep breath and rolled up his sleeve. He hadn't thought much of it. He always considered the writing on his wrist to be a blemish. He wasn't wrong. The cutesy kanji was embarrassing although he was fond of the colour: a pale lilac. He thought it was similar to the colour of the sky at dusk. Now, he theorises, it is more representative of her.

He and Mayoi had a good evening. They had gone to a small ramen store on a hodgepodge street which was squashed between two niche hobby stores. She had ordered the miso ramen like she had demanded and he had gone with pork. She spoke exuberantly and did not come across as a girl who had been in mourning mere hours ago. Mayoi had taken to speaking of the future. She was full of hope and joy.

That brought happiness to Naruhodo's heart. Mayoi was a sweet girl and she didn't deserve having been through Chihiro's death. She didn't deserve being wrongly imprisoned but, unfortunately as Naruhodo learned, she didn't deserve to have a fated person like him.

Mayoi brought it up as a joke but she spoke truthfully and frankly when she told Naruhodo that she believed. She believed in the concept of soul mates; unsurprising given her talents and affinity for the supernatural.

They didn't speak more about it. Mayoi simply mentioned that her wrist read "Please let me defend you" and she mused with the possibility of it only sounding lawyerly due to their current circumstances. She came up with a few different scenarios but somehow, they seemed improbable as they were musings of knights in shining armour and similar.

They agreed that they wouldn't speak of it again anytime soon but curiosity nibbled away at Naruhodo. Unlike most, he didn't know his own mark off by heart. He saw it the way most people see their worst feature: exaggerated some days and ignored other day.

He folded back the fabric and hoped that he would have something completely irrelevant to Mayoi. Most people had "I love you" or "I will miss you" but Naruhodo was not like most people. This was also exemplified in his writing.

He sighed heavily as he read over it: "Please defend me!"

Naruhodo was certain he could hear it in her voice. He could hear every sound in the simple sentence with her sweet as sugar voice that made strange noises when she laughed and caused him to feel hell when it was downcast.

He tried to emphasise it in different ways or imagine it in different contexts but it kept coming back to one event, one memory. His brows furrowed and he didn't quite know how he felt or what he should feel.

This seemed like irrefutable proof. Maybe it was because of the age difference of five years or because they were co-workers now but for some reason, it didn't sit right with Naruhodo. He supposed, most people would be in a fugue state of bliss when they had reason to believe that they had met the One but whilst he was in a fugue state, it was not out of bliss but rather discomfort. He had never spent much time contemplating his wrist and now that he was, things didn't seem to align with his expectations.

Naruhodo could not imagine his fated person and he had to admit, out of the two Ayasato sisters he thought for sure that he would be more suited to Chihiro but perhaps, he was being hasty. Chihiro had never revealed her words to him. He still didn't know what they were. He thought it would be insensitive to ask Mayoi but perhaps, one day, he would ask. That day is nowhere soon though.

His thoughts strayed back to Mayoi. Her smile was so meaningful and seeing it did make him feel at ease. Her happiness was contagious. Still, it seemed impossible for the two of them to be soul mates. She was a good natured girl with a pretty face and warm personality but he had spiky hair and cumbersome tendencies, they really weren't suited to each other.

But she could be awkward and flustered too. She could make strange remarks that led to her embarrassing herself and her cheeks could go red. Naruhodo let his sleeve slip and it covered his wrist once more.

He wanted someone. He liked the idea of having someone he could grow old alongside. He wasn't sure if he liked the idea of that someone being Mayoi. He had to admit though, if further along the line and their relationship had developed onto the threshold of the romantic and if he did reciprocate and accept her as his soul mate, then in that extremely unlikely scenario, he would like it if their children had her nose because her almost piggish nose was quite cute.