I cannot believe that this story actually grew to be popular. So I decided to make another chapter to it, and yes I'm drunk again.
JAUNE AND PYRRHA
"NOOOOO! PYRRHA!" Jaune said as he had just been french kissed by Pyrrha, and she had now shoved him in a locker.
"I'm sorry." She said with tears in her eyes as the locker lifted off.
"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Jaune yelled as he was launched away.
This was not good! Even with Jaune's beautiful rippling MUSCKLES! He was powerless against the firm lips of an extremely sexy spartan lady. Trying to resist his partner's lips was like trying say Bubbles angrily, it was FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE! He banged against the doors on the locker, hoping that his thick veiny fists could burst through the other side and he could redirect the locker to go to Beacon tower.
Sadly his masculine might was not enough and he crashed into the ground, in which he made a call to Ruby begging her to save Pyrrha! Because unforturnately his arm had broken during the launch, and it hung limply to his side like old man who realizes he now has to resort to using Viagra.
"What do I do?! She is the only girl who has ever kissed me! But my mascular arm is broken! WHAT DO I DO?!" He screamed to the heavens as the baby oil that he glistened himself up with for the tournament reflected the moons rays.
"YAAAGGGH! LITTLE JAUNE! DON'T GIVE UP!" He heard a voice in his head.
"ARNOLD?! HOW DID YOU GET INSIDE MY HEAD?!" He screamed out.
"THAT DOESN'T MATTER WEE LITTLE BABY JAUNE! WHAT MATTERS NOW IS SAVING YOUR WOMAN!" Arnold screamed in his head.
"But my amazing defined right arm is useless! And I can't do shit with my left hand!" He screamed back, while Grimm were looking at him like he was crazy.
"YAARRRGGGH! THAT DON'T MATTER! YOU HAVE SECRET WEAPON! REMEMBER?!" Arnold yelled as Jaune's eyes widened.
"BUT ARNOLD, YOU TOLD ME NEVER TO USE THAT UNLESS I WAS IN DANGER!" He yelled as his mentor was now screaming at him.
"THIS IS AN EMERGENCY, WHEN IT COMES TO WOMEN, YOU GO BIG OR GO HOME! AND RIGHT NOW, YOU NEED TO GO BIG!" Arnold yelled as Jaune took out a container.
"BUT ARNOLD! WHAT IF MY BEAUTIFUL PUMPED UP JACKHAMMERS AREN'T ENOUGH TO BEAT THIS FIREY LADY?!" He screamed.
"DON'T YOU TAKE THAT BLASHEMPOUS TONE WITH ME BOY! ALL YOU NEED IS TO LOOK BAD ASS, I LEARNED THAT FROM MY MANY AMAZING MOVIES, WHERE ALL I HAD TO DO WAS LOOK MUSCULAR, INCLUDING MY ALL TIME SMASH HIT HOLIDAY CLASSIC 'JINGLE ALL THE WAY!'" He screamed out as Jaune groaned.
"BUT THAT MOVIE WASN'T THAT GOOD!" He yelled as Arnold screamed even louder in his head.
"YAAAAAAGGGGHH! YOU ONLY SAY THAT BECAUSE THE KID WHO RUINED STAR WARS WAS IN IT!" He said as Jaune agreed with him on that point.
Sure he still watched the prequel star wars films because they were star wars films. But they weren't exactly the best they could have been.
"JUST USE THE DAMN SECRET WEAPON, AND THEN MAKE MANY BABIES WITH YOUR SOON TO BE WIFE!" Arnold screamed as his voice disappeared.
Jaune pulled out the container labeled ARC PUMP. It was a pre workout mix he had been making in his room at beacon. It combined the blood of a beowulf, the rare tears of Glynda Goodwitch when she cried, a sample of Oobleck's coffee, a hair off of Yang's head when she went super saiyan. And finally he had Nora finish it off with a blast of electrical energy from Magnhild.
He had never actually tested it before, but now was as good of a time as any. He looked at the drink that shined bright like Michael Jackson's hair in a pepsi commercial. And he downed the devious concotion in one fatal gulp.
He licked his lips.
"I don't feel shi-" Suddenly his pupils widened.
RUBY
Ruby was currently scaling the towers, but even with Weiss's help she was still moving slow. Suddenly she heard something.
BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM
At first she thought it was explosions from the resulting battle, but then they got closer and closer, and she started to realize that they weren't explosions, but they were footsteps. She turned around to see a magnificent and terrifying sight.
"GGGAAAAAHHHH!" Jaune yelled with determination as he was literally RUNNING UP THE FUCKING TOWER!
He wasn't sticking to it with Aura, he wasn't being helped by Weiss, he was being driven solely by the power of pre workout and his own willpower. Each step he took making a massive indent in the tower, and Ruby actually felt herself being scared and yet strangely turned out by the sight of the titanic beacon student who had been her first friend.
He soon passed by her and Ruby stopped to look at his back muscles as he passed by.
"...Well, thats it, I guess I'm interested in guys after all." She said as she got a sudden nosebleed and ran back down the tower.
Jaune didn't need her to save Pyrrha anymore.
PYRRHA
So this was it? This was how it ended? Pyrrha was going to die by getting shot with an arrow in the chest. All of her training, all of her preparations, that whole childhood she had where she never made any friends and focused solely on becoming a better fighter. And it was all going to end like this, shot in the heart, and fuck Bon Jovi, because now she had that damn song stuck in her head.
And the worst part was, she never got to ride Jaune like he was a bull at a PBR show. She had wanted him before, but multiple times when they were training after he got buff, all she could think about was how good it would feel to have those arms wrapped around in eternal bliss. Which frankly was the reason why she constantly had to take a cold shower by trying to think normal thoughts and hoping that the cold water would calm down her raging teenage hormones.
And then Jaune came in to use the shower right after her, and it all started over again!
"My only regret, is that I didn't jump on Jaune when I had the chance...oh and that I couldn't save everyone, oh god, all I can do is think of Jaune as a big juicy sirloin that I want to tear into even in the moments of my death, good lord I am very sexually repressed." She thought as she closer her eyes.
"PUMP IT UP MOTHERFUCKER!" She heard a voice yell out as she saw a man sized fist suddenly strike Cinder's face from the side, redirecting her bow to shoot off into the distance, the arrow itself hitting Cardin right in the left ass cheek.
Cinder on the other hand was launched through the air, and I don't mean launched in the air like she flew a few feet, NO! She took off with the force of an Atlas rocket and Pyrrha could have swore that she had broken the sound barrier on her way out.
"Team Cinder is Blasting off again!" She heard a voice scream as all she saw was a small glint of light where Cinder's body flew.
"J-Jaune..." She said as she could see every ripple in his muscles, the preworkout literally turning him into a marble statue of perfection.
"PYRRHA!" She yelled as he gave her a hug.
Which she was incredibly happy about because she was being smothered in his giant pectoral muscles, in which case she now knew what heaven felt like, and its name was Jaune.
"I WAS SO WORRIED! WHY DID YOU GO?!" He said as he was surprisingly crying.
"J-Jaune I-" She said as he realized something.
"WAIT!" He yelled as he thrusted his hands into the sky.
"What are you doing?" She asked in curiousity.
"Calling for help!" He said as he yelled to the heavens.
"I SUMMON THE HEROES OF OLD! SCHWARZENEGGER! WILLIS! STALLONE! COME AND FIGHT FOR JUSTICE!" He yelled as Pyrrha saw multiple lighting strikes appear around grimm infested areas.
"W-What just happened?" She asked as she was confused.
"I summoned some help, now...what do we do now?" He said as she suddenly got a smirk on her face.
"Pyrrha...why are you taking off your armor?" She said as she suddenly tackled him.
"Shut up and enjoy! I have been putting this off for too long!"
GLYNDA
She couldn't take anymore, the Grimm were coming in too fast. Just like Ironwood that one time they both got drunk and had a one night stand. Apparently he did not live up to his name. It was a bitter disappointment.
"That's it...I'm done..I'm out of Aura..." She said as she dropped to her knees. The deadly dominatrix had exhausted her last reserve of energy.
A beowulf was about to bite her in two...but then?
"YAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHH!" She heard a voice yell as she suddenly saw a red boxing glove strike the Grimm across the face, causing it to disintegrate into nothing.
"Wha-What?!" She said as she blushed deeply at what she saw.
She saw a man wearing boxing trunks covered in a design that showed stars and stripes, he was heavily muscular, but not in an over muscular way, be he had a lean physique almost as if he did a combination of weight lifting and swimming.
"Tha-Thank you!" She said as she was resisting the urge to squeal at the sight of this handsome man.
"Adrian?" He said as she tilted her head.
"Uhm, what?" She said as he got all happy.
"ADRIAN!" He yelled out as he hugged her.
Glynda was about to protest but then her hand touched his back, and she couldn't bring herself to correct her. Maybe after he was done.
IRONWOOD
Ironwood just saw the white fang get away with one of his command ships, he was pissed off, now he couldn't radio back to Atlas and tell them what had happened. But that was when he noticed something odd. He saw that the fuel port on the side of the ship was open, and it was pouring out fuel, were those white fang grunts so incompetent that they didn't realize they had opened the fuel hatch?
All of a sudden, he saw a streak of flame shoot up towards it and...
KABOOM!
There was an earth shattering kaboom!
"Well there goes my next pay check." He said as he saw a bald man in a dirty bloody tanktop smoking a cigarette.
"Yippee ki yay Motherfucker." He said as he walked away.
WITH QROW
"HOW THE HELL ARE YOU NOT RUNNING OUT OF BULLETS?!" Qrow yelled as the austrian oak was moving down Grimm after Grimm with a mini gun he stole off of one of Huntress's, granted she wasn't complaining when he flashed his biceps, but she still wanted her weapon back.
"I'M FROM THE 80S, RULES DO NOT APPLY!" He yelled as you see see his muscles twitching with every round he fired off.
"Fuck this, I'm going to drink." He said as he put his weapon back on his back and went into a bar that was still surprisingly intact and in business as all the crazy shit was happening.
MEANWHILE BACK ON THE TOWER
Jaune and Pyrrha were currently laying under a blanket that they had no idea where it came from. But Pyrrha looked EXTREMELLY refreshed, while Jaune had his hands behind his head in pride.
"So...that was a thing." He said as she smiled.
"That was WAY more than a thing." She said as Jaune looked at her.
"Want to go again?" He asked as she shook her head up and down vigorously.
"I hope you're prepared, I'm not the invincible girl for nothing." She said as Jaune grinned.
"And right now I am the unstoppable man." He said as they continued their session of lovemaking.
Their screams drove the Grimm away.